Now, here is the place to put your poems.
Here's mine:
He was amazingly smart
With an Int of 999
And a Wis of 888
A Strength of -10
He was mighty beyond fate
And he cleaved kobolds to death
He killed killed killed killed killed killed killed
The puny kobolds,
To death, to death, death, death, death, death, death
For the greatest good
He did what he could
To kill kill kill kill kill
He killed, killed, killed, killed
The kobolds to death,
He killed them to death
For a reason most pure,
For he killed them for
He felt like it.
And now for the great challenge!
Compress that magnificent epic into a haiku.
I am very smart
I am very very smartI am very smart
Ha!
Mike is annoying
Mike is really really dumbI'm banned from the boards
The desolate cold falls short at the feet of warmth, a slipping velvet tide, a rhythm from inside –even children know the sound of forever in the ground.
A token distance left to run and you’ve hardly started, kissed her brow -then you parted. She completes you in ways you can’t describe by chance perhaps a fateful bribe?
If I could span the distance I would hold you tight and be your fortress arrows and bullets would smash off my invulnerable face –powered by your love; you are my furnace, my engine and my purpose -without you everything’s worthless.
Perchance partake this position of trust, let me prove it to you if I must. It’s real, tangible, almost visual a solid thing, now let me in so it can really begin.
My heart is a harp whose strings you strum absentmindedly -leaving me reverberating with love behind your back –if only you turned around and listened to this melody you inspire.
We can be each others secret song –no one else knows the words and we can sing it as loud as we like…
I wrote this as an unrequited love poem by an NPC for use in our Savage Tide game.
I once wrote a poem/song about a microwavable fetus that you could add water to, microwave and have a full grown baby. I'll see if I can find it, assuming it's messageboard safe.
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
Brown is the color of my ------!
Its a "you feel in the blank" poem.
Atributes unreal
With violence in his heart
He brings kobold death
:)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
That's what they tell me,
Because I'm blind.
Sorry to hear that (or are you joking?).
Another Poem of Ravenloft
We are surrounded by a circle of knives
And we know not where to turn
Each knife pointed at us
Right to the throat
And we see that we must learn
We are surrounded by a circle of knives
It could destroy us with a thought
It shall come soon
We know not when
And we are aware of the damage we've wrought
We are surrounded be a circle of knives
That is about to slay us all
And it waits for us, making a wall
So now there is no time to be bereft
For now 'tis our job to save what little is left
Dandelion fluff fleetly dances
Across meadow flowers caressing
Decapitated, sodomized Orcs.
--From the collected poetry of Mugwub the Sodomizer
the mage twitches
and throws a fireball
the altar is in egulfed with flames
The were wolf and goblins are bbq
Director of Sales
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This is just to say
I have written
a poem
for your thread
on the 'boards
and which
you were probably
hoping
would be original.
Forgive me
this was simpler,
so pointless
and so cold
Yes you are, you annoying bit of murk
Get out of here, cease to lurk
You are not wanted here, stay away
Or you will be forced to pay
Aberzombie, leave
Before I use my cleave
And I'll call the city reave,
And you'll be forced to lift and heave
You are a big hog
You're more stubborn than a hungry dog
You are as fat as a log
And have the intellect of a frog
Everybody's mad at me
Because I am so rude, you see
And I always treat you all horribly
And when I'm banned, it will be
Far more, far more, far more friendly
And things will be normal, and you can all have tea
But this shall never happen,
It is impossible
For I am far too mighty
Now you go watch Kimpossible
For you'll never set things rightly*
What? I defye you to find a word that rhymes with 'mighty'!
Blaaarrrccchhhh
Splaaarrrccchhhh
Huzaaarrrccchhhh
Vlaaarrrccchhhh
Now that you have been so rude
To me, a good'ol undead dude
I'll have to stay and write some more
And share my zombie wit and lore
To you I say "I'll never leave.
So smite me with your silly cleave.
I'll laugh it off and munch your brain.
Oops...my hoped-for meal is in vain."
Maybe we should create
A thread for this 'cause my post was ateThere we shall insult with glee
All who come in, including thee
In many rhymes, we would battle
And you would onto the cat roll
And never would I tire, for
You mean death, but I mean war
Now I cast a spell most mighty
That will send you off the earth
For you are my enemy
And you were destined for thus at birth
You think you can defeat me
But you are quite wrong
For you are quite weak, you see
And I am quite strong
Wind, rain, snow and hail
All you can send at me, if you must
But you are nothing to me
But a little mouse,
And soon, a grain of dust
There once was a zombie
With no brain at all
But then one day, he had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Refused to touch zombie to put him
Together again
At last, the frog prince agreed to touch the undead
But then he was a frog, and he had a small head
But when he touched the zombie he vanished
In a flash of light
And the horses and men saw that they had been right
Then Cinderella came, and being a servant
Was hit with the rod, and was forced to serve bent
She was forced to touch the zombie, who turned into a handsome prince
Who then decided to return the money he had been lent
Then he returned to the princess, kind
And decided he was still hungry, and devoured her mind
The king ordered the knights to kill the fiend
With their swords they had with them, which had been keened
But Sir Bobby was dumb, and fell on his own sword
And Sir Freddy fell off a cliff onto his lord
But they were still winning,
Except, of course Sir Brinning
And how Lancelot was allergic to corpses, and thus failed, being hived
But, unfortunately for the knights, the kobold arrived
Plus one TZK, for the zombie had some 'light bills'
From the kobold, you see, for the zombie gambled
His life, and thus
He died before he could cuss
And was locked for food in the lamb hold
There once was a savage, zombie, vulture and frog
The frog was soon eaten by a hungry dog
This taught the zombie to be extra careful
And when the savage led him to a cave
He said "No worry. Bear full"
The savage soon died
And the zombie cried
Because the vulture had lied
He was not the zombie's friend
The vulture would tear and rend
At the stupid zombie who was mad as a kend-
-Er though not as bright
Only the vulture was left
And he started a blight
In the kingdom of Snite
because he was diseased
Hey, what'd ya expect
From a guy who eats carrion
So the kingdom was wrecked
And it is real lame
Because what sort of vulture would tear and maim
A zombie? I ask this because he was not tame
The answer to that question, by the way, is
Any vulture that came.
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Oh lizard thing, with scales of red
Your whiny voice, your elongated head.
Such effort you put into your words
And I thought my rhymes resembled turds.
Those kobolds better they do deserve
To tell the truth you've got some nerve.
Like a little dog, you yip and yap
Giving your namesake a very bad rap.
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Oh lizard thing, with scales of red
Your whiny voice, your elongated head.
Such effort you put into your words
And I thought my rhymes resembled turds.
Those kobolds better they do deserve
To tell the truth you've got some nerve.
Like a little dog, you yip and yap
Giving your namesake a very bad rap.
Ouch, burned by the zombie.
The springs of the cot,
piano untuned;
he suffers in vain,
to staunch at the wound;
regardless of fault,
he'll shoulder the blame;
they don't sell a soap,
that rinses out shame.
-mike-
Oh lizard thing, with scales of red
Your whiny voice, your elongated head.
Such effort you put into your words
And I thought my rhymes resembled turds.
Those kobolds better they do deserve
To tell the truth you've got some nerve.
Like a little dog, you yip and yap
Giving your namesake a very bad rap.
Yep, pretty much. But technically, I don't tell the truth.
You held it and knew the fractures.
You helped mend it so you knew the scars too.
You never judged it.
You’re going, and you’re leaving it behind.
I hear the shattering of it as it brakes.
Who will help me pick up the pieces of my heart?
*Sorry if this brings anyone down. I just got through writing it for my aunt and had to do something with it other than just let it sit on a table.
You held it and knew the fractures.
You helped mend it so you knew the scars too.
You never judged it.
You’re going, and you’re leaving it behind.
I hear the shattering of it as it brakes.
Who will help me pick up the pieces of my heart?*Sorry if this brings anyone down. I just got through writing it for my aunt and had to do something with it other than just let it sit on a table.
It's fine. It's a good poem.
It's fine. It's a good poem.You held it and knew the fractures.
You helped mend it so you knew the scars too.
You never judged it.
You’re going, and you’re leaving it behind.
I hear the shattering of it as it brakes.
Who will help me pick up the pieces of my heart?*Sorry if this brings anyone down. I just got through writing it for my aunt and had to do something with it other than just let it sit on a table.
Thanks, I just hate that I even felt like writting it.
Tegan, I can't see your post.
There are no fingerprints
Deep under water
Nothing to tie one to a crime
And if you seek vengeance
All you need are instruments of pain
You need your
Knives? Check.
Rope? Check.
Dagger? Check.
Chains? Check.
Locks? Check.
Laser Beams? Check.
Acid? Check.
Body Bag? Check.
Murmaider [x16]
But beware
For when you quench your blood thirst
Others will seek their vengeance on you
And they won't rest
Until you're dead
They'll have their:
Shiv? Check.
Pipe? Check.
Hammer? Check.
Axe? Check.
Subject? Check.
Location? Check.
Desire? Check.
Vengeance? Check.
Hold your breath, swim and strain
The smell of death, can't escape
Blood will could and drift away
Attract the murders of Murmaids
It's so cold they all know
What you've done, you can't run
Vengeance is the law for thee
A thousand leagues below the sea
You've been tracked, you've been seen
Murdering the next kin
Ate their hearts drank their blood
Washed your fins in blackened mud
Now you swim try to hide
Heart beats faster from inside
Thought it was a big charade
Your life was ended by Murmaids.
Murmaider [x16]
Swords? Check.
Saws? Check.
Clubs? Check.
Claws? Check.
Hatred? Check.
Anger? Check.
Mermaid? Check.
Murder? Check.
MURDER! MURDER! MURMAID MURDER!
Your life was ended by mermaids.
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Some of my retarded songs:
And a rant-y spoken word piece:
And a fantasy character background / short story:
Hand Over Fist part 1
Hand Over Fist part 2
And finally, a few bad poems: