Judge: "The chair recognises the illithid, Bkldksahchxcndfj."
Bkldksahchxcndfj: "Yes. I believe that, with the information I've...collected, Your Honor, the dove did it."
Now you guys get to continue the trial!!! Only 2 speakers per post.
Um...
"Cough"
Lead Defending Attorney: I call Sebastion to the stand for the Defense
Judge: Baliff, summon Sebastion to the stand please.
(I dont know beans about this stuff; you need Sebastion and Lawgiver)
My fellow Americans of the jury; my client, the defendant, is accussed of this mooost henieous of crimes against the state; against man, and evern against our feathered folk; but i say; I SAY unto you people; that this cannot possibly be true; nope; not true at all. Why; you may ask; why cannot it be true; well now; therein lies that which will cut to the chase; that will be illuminated by this defense; now, my esteem opponent will try to lead you, will try to paint a picture just both dark and insideous; but never you mind none about that; for we have proof; proof inconvertable that my client is innocent; for he was in the nest of the well known Missus Kingfisher of Fame and Glamor; I call Missus Kingfisher to the stand.
<head turn as the most gorgeous Missus Kingfisher takes the stand>
yes darling; he was with me all night long on that and many other nights; true, his wife may not know; but that is no business of mine; he comes by to drop off my....cigarettes... and stays for a minute or so; I smoke and exclusive brand you know....
I believe it was the Kobold assassin that killed count Robin, who the hell is count Robin...
Well now; about that; the defense lawyer is not on trial hear boy; and as the Lady will attest; my client could not have done this henious crime for he was indeed with the lady; I will be gettin to the Killer Kobold Klan soon enough...Lady Kingfisher, if you will...
The Lady: Well not pookie, dont get in a big huff, yes he did come by to drop of my nightly package and had a nightcap; but I would hardly say he was there all of five minutes; he chugged down a show of Jim and a shot of Jack and ran out of there lickity split saying he had someplace to be; hardly looked at my new feather boa at all; twas all I was wearing at that point pookie dear; (she slowly gives a sexually promising lear about the courtroom) I wonder where he had to go so fast; *pout*
(uh; the defense could really use someone who knows something about courts and stuff; I never even watch the tv shows and only been on the jury a few times... be nice to have someone take on the judge and the prosecuter spots too.)
[Crashes through wall]
"Oh Yeah!"
The badger attacking the witness knew he needed to silence him.
SQUAWK! Squawked the chicken, as he went into his kung-fu pose...
the kobolds all wet themselves.
hee heeh hee heeh heeeeeeee!
hwaaaaaahwahwahwa!
ha hwaaa aaa aa a!
Spluuurrrrrrrg
The Court Stenographer, realizing this trial has gone completely crazy, has given up on recording the court procedings and has started drawing random stick figures.
Warguhl, Hobgoblin Bailiff, sees the Stenographer slacking in appointed duties and unwinds his lash. CRACK!!! "Hop to, sluggard. There will be no respite from your office until this court is satisfied with this day's hearings. Or until our federally mandated break. Them's the rules!"
But these stick figures are just overly stylized versions of the proceedings! See, the defendent is symbolized by the horse, his lawyer is the cowboy, and as you can see the horse is being ridden straight to jail. And the two people fighting is, uhhh, is, oh yeah, they symbolize our current argument over my drawing stick figures. See, you don't have to punish me. See? Please?