ziggurat. Underneath it, he hoped to find
the Highway to Xibalba Bon Scott sung
about in the opera "Heathansson eats a
stirge and apple pie." But lately that
work was only performed by tonedeaf ninja
impersonating a musical troupe while travelling the
circuit in non-characteristically flamboyant garb. These ancient
musicians from the 70's knew ancient secrets,
how to remove ring-around-the-collar
without a blowtorch, and how to create
love out of nothing at all. Nowadays,
love is no longer free - just as
cold silence has a tendency to atrophy
both hearing and tremorsense, the cold of
dank, dark donjon and bricked-up hidden lairs
of unspeakable creatures, not to mention the
aforementioned unspeakable creatures' unmentionables mentioned in the
unmentionable section of said catalog that shall
be known forever as "Ralph". The mahi-mahi
man from the Moons of Mars, Melvin
came to Oerth on a boat of
non-Euclidian geometry, which sailed the curves of
time, space, and the Superman roller coaster.
"What in the wide world of jousting
do you think you're doing, sonny boy?"
, asked the grizzled ex-knight manning the ship's
helm, "Don't ya know that this sort
of hullabaloo can cause all of creation
of meddlesome behaviour gives me the hives?
And what's more, where's my pogo stick?"
Suddenly, he spotted his newly pogo-peg-legged first
whipping-boy, Chester the Olfactorily Offensive. Consumed with rage,
he fumed, "bounce o'er here right smartly
my malodorous lad, afore I take yon
belaying pin and use it for purposes
other than hopping!" However, the smelly one
did not see the gang of sahuagin
who had steathily boarded the ship while
he was having his caniption over the
corporal punishment administered by his tyrrantical captain.
The first sahuagin, Nilbert, pulled his pogotrident
up over the gunwale of the pogoship
and then bounced merrily towards his victim
to pogoimpale him over and over again
. To everyone's surprise, Chester oozed not blood,
but clear, sticky sap. "I always wondered
why I had a craving for fertilizer."
This gave the evil fishmen pause. "Mayhap
we'll have kindling to stoke our fires
Fires?! Dude, we're FISH, we stay out
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