I'm quite sure this has been a previous post, but bare with me. I would like to know the Looneist people you have ever met when trying to get a DnD group. I myself have not met anyone looney for my group lives conveniatly by me. But I hear all these storys about horrible people being picked up into a group off the internet and I would like to hear some of everyones storys. Please post the worst you have ever met or the creepiest! I will check on this post later.
~GtG
I couldn't find it, but I stumbled across a link somehere to the "worst" game ever played. It was a link to a website with a story about two girls who went over to this dude's apartment to roleplay; he was a major loon. I felt sorry for the girls in the story and hoped they eventually found some real gamers to play with. The website even had a rebuttal by the loon. I think I found it through one of Lilith's posts, or a link from her posts (I hope she wasn't one of the poor girls in the story!) I even felt bad for the girl with the winged elf character who was a friend of the loon.
Here's the link you were looking for, I believe:
http://thingsihate.org/article/123/the_worst_dungeon_master_ever_part_one
J-
5. (in a fantasy game) "So the Bartender says Kirk would beat Picard in a stand up fight" translation: segmentation fault: core dumped
ROFLMAO!!! Segfaulting a game - classic!!
Here's a painful nugget from my past:
Okay so a friend of ours invites us to meet a friend of his who's starting a game and he really wants us to meet him and get into his game. So I go, really fearing this guy is going to be a real wierdo. Lo and behold the guy is normal--even colorful. He's a big barrel-chested guy with one of those rounded voices like he's a stereo salesman, short neat hair, short nicely trimmed gotee--immaculate little basement apartment. I start to get hopeful. I talk with the guy. He's intelligent, clever even.
So we make characters and show up the next day. It's a dungeon crawl, but he's an old schooler and I've never really played D&D that way before and figure it's cool. He has the little D&D plastic miniatures, a ton of them, and those little buildable dungeon pieces and builds a little room and we march around our figures and kill stuff. A little light on story, and with some glaring elements that make no sense (water damaged dungeons with all furnishings destroyed or rotten, but with whole chests full of gold just sitting unattended in normal looking rooms--that sort of thing). There's a super NPC, a psiblade winged elf who talks like Johnny Bravo/Elvis. No big trouble yet, but enough to disappoint some of my friends who bow out of the game in favor of more drama-intensive fare.
No problem since he's found some friends of his that want to do a game. He says it's sky's the limit--make whatever we want, Monster Manuals, whatever. I make a bladeling--always wanted to play a bladeling. He looks him over, my writeup of his homeland, his beliefs and ideology, goals and whatnot and nods sagely. Then his complaint. My sword is not nearly big or spikey enough. It needs to be really big and really really spikey! Oookay.
The other characters are respectively a shifter vampire (sortof--he ended up being more like a were-kobald vampire really) and a were-devil (he starts out as a devil looking guy but then changes into this really big devil guy). We're in town for a day. This guy shows up and gives my character a scroll. Then the DM's big NPC (the same Elvis winged elf guy) shows up and says he wants the scroll, offers me a job and some money and cuts me loose until tomorrow. My character, unaccustomed to city life, decides to sleep out under the stars. Two yuan-ti show up. I'm doing pretty good against them, and the DM gets in a snit. He demands to see my character sheet and starts lowering stats (now really honest I made him straight--I know what I'm doing, he wasn't even a power character or anything). Now the yuan ti are kicking my trash to the curb and the DM seems much happier. They kill me awfully and the DM tries to do the super-NPC rescue and resurrection ploy. Bladelings are unressurectable. So the DM pouts some more and I make a new character.
I miss a game, wherein the characters must flee town and head south on a river the width of California flowing out of a volcanic caldera the size of North America. They come out in a dry grassland and are beset by dracotaurs. When the dracotaurs start to drop them all and a TPK looks emminent, the super NPC lights a grassfire that kills all the (fire immune...sigh) dracotaurs and destroys all life for hundreds of miles. They then get back on the boat and set sail again.
I'm back. My arrangement with the DM was that since I refused to allow him to save my own character from the screwage he gave him I was to be punished by having to make a character who's a Trog. Trogs are his favorite race, apparently, because they are stupid as bricks but really big--like thirteen feet tall and weighing like 3000 pounds. Enter Globgar. He has a meatclub taken from the leg of some big dinosaury thing he killed. He also has a loincloth. I'm apparently on some island in the river the width of California where the guys stop. There's the sounds of beautiful singing and lovely ladies all over the island. Unbenownst to them however, the lovely gals are actually big tenticle monsters with gnashy teeth that make wulla-wulla noises, which the DM demonstrates. My character arrives and lends a hand in saving the party. We then board their raft and set again down the river. The DM has given my character a great hatred of the undead--and one of the PCs is a vampire. So understandably an impasse is created whereapon I try to flatten the were-kobald vampire with my meatclub. The DM finally intercedes and decides that while my character does in fact hate all undead, that well the PC is okay anyhow and I should be fine with that. Off we go. We land and again and after roaming across miles of scortched wasteland leftover from that same fire, we come upon some greek looking ruins. In the center of the ruins there is a green glass pyramid the size of a skyscraper. Outside of the pyramid there's an altar with a giant, really nifty looking magical club (oh and my meatclub just happened to rot away just before we find the city--wow fate huh?) that looks too big for anyone else in the party to wield, but which looks like it'd be just right for me. Hmm. So one of the other characters picks it up and starts swinging it around. At which point tons of immaciated and furious cultists pour out of the temple and begin loudly demanding we give the club back. We reasonably begin to thrash them. They are, however, indestructable rubber cultists who take a nat 20 power attack, slide back a few feet and then get really really unruly. The weredemon and super NPC fly off leaving the rest of us to deal with the indestructable and now really testy throng. My character (being 13 feet tall and all) attempts to climb into the second story of one of the ruins. I make a climb roll and do pretty darn good. I get like a 19 or something. Well the DM rolls that I rolled too well, and so am stuck out of the second story building with my butt sticking out. When I try to right myself the building collapses on top of me. I spend the next hour of gameplay roleplaying being crushed to death and losing feeling in various parts of my body until eventually the DM figures that having put me in a stupid situation and giving me no capacity to move, let alone escape, he may as well have the good form to just kill me.
Yeah so that was that group. I took off, and to my great relief found out that the DM was going in for some kind of medical thing and wouldn't be back for a couple of weeks. I deftly avoided being available for contact. I still need to get that guy back his Psionics Handbook...sigh.
Send it by mail, that basically says enough about your willingness to play with him.
Ya that would. But anyway, I was wondering. How can you jump so well that you fail? Well good luck getting away from that DM.
~GtG
Y'know, Grimcleaver, despite the DM faux-pas that are definitely a problem, that does sound like a pretty neat setting. A glass pyramid straight out of a Moebius comic book? Scorched wastelands and huge rivers the width of California? Bizarre monsters disguised as beautiful women on an island in said river? By virtue of this thread, the next time I want to run a campaign based on an acid flashback, I'll know exactly what to do.
I dont understand how DMs can come up with stuff like that. Nor why the like putting uber NPCs in the party.
I have 2 stories.
One is about this guy I met through someone else. He had me make a character. I did the 4d6 thing, keeping the 3 highest. He said to keep them all. Ok... I decided to make ranger. The DM said I get to start with 2 "spiffys" He ended up giving me a +3 bow of energy. All I had to do was pull back on the string and an arrow of energy would appear. My second spiffy was a (I think) krenshar animal companion. WTF? Thankfully I never actually played a session.
The other story involves a DM and his "throng". I had agreed to play with these 2 guys from work. I show up at his apartment to make a character. There was the DM and the guy from work, the DMs wife, and 2 other people. I dont even remember what I made as a character. For some reason the conversation turned to this 18th level female human assassin, or some such, that the DM had. Everyone in the group was just in awe of this character and would say that if she (the character) even looked at you, you were totally dead. The "throng" was telling this story while the DM locked eyes with me and just shook his head over and over. Okaaaaay....
One is about this guy I met through someone else. He had me make a character. I did the 4d6 thing, keeping the 3 highest. He said to keep them all. Ok... I decided to make ranger. The DM said I get to start with 2 "spiffys" He ended up giving me a +3 bow of energy. All I had to do was pull back on the string and an arrow of energy would appear. My second spiffy was a (I think) krenshar animal companion. WTF? Thankfully I never actually played a session.
Ahhhhh.... yes the overpowering DM. The kind I don't like. Which is why I barley DnD with anyone other than my main DM. His name is Onrie if you know him from this sight. I think that be a little too over powered. That takes all the fun from the game. After hearing some of these storys i'm so glad I live near a good group! Keep posting please. I will check back soon.
~GtG
Beware couples that join your group. I've met two of these in the past and didn't care for either one.
The first couple, call them Mork & Mindy, joined a game I was currently playing in. During the first session they spent most of their time bickering about how Mindy should play her character or just about stuff in general. As the game progressed, it was obvious that there was something seriously wrong with Mindy. She started panting and getting really, really worked up in combat situations. Afterward, she was really fidgety and acting like she was having a panic attack. She got so bad that she had to excuse herself from the table and get some air outside. While she was out, Mork confides in us that she takes medication for multiple psychoses. They have no health insurance and thus no medication for her. Eek!
The second couple joined my game. My wife and I simply refer to them now as the Potato People since they both were quite round and resembled a couple of spuds as they sat around our game table. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Ms. Potato except that she took a ton of abuse from Mr. Potato and seemed to see it as normal. He constantly dressed her down in front of all of the other players. In addition, he was quite a Potato prick even without the verbal abuse he constantly subjected his significant other to.
The first couple, call them Mork & Mindy, joined a game I was currently playing in. During the first session they spent most of their time bickering about how Mindy should play her character or just about stuff in general. As the game progressed, it was obvious that there was something seriously wrong with Mindy. She started panting and getting really, really worked up in combat situations. Afterward, she was really fidgety and acting like she was having a panic attack. She got so bad that she had to excuse herself from the table and get some air outside. While she was out, Mork confides in us that she takes medication for multiple psychoses. They have no health insurance and thus no medication for her. Eek!
I would be scared. And just wondering, did you finish the game with this couple or did it end up uncompleted. (and for your sake never continued)
I would be scared. And just wondering, did you finish the game with this couple or did it end up uncompleted. (and for your sake never continued)
The first couple, call them Mork & Mindy, joined a game I was currently playing in. During the first session they spent most of their time bickering about how Mindy should play her character or just about stuff in general. As the game progressed, it was obvious that there was something seriously wrong with Mindy. She started panting and getting really, really worked up in combat situations. Afterward, she was really fidgety and acting like she was having a panic attack. She got so bad that she had to excuse herself from the table and get some air outside. While she was out, Mork confides in us that she takes medication for multiple psychoses. They have no health insurance and thus no medication for her. Eek!
Mindy never returned to the game. I think the DM may have uninvited her or something. Mork continued to play in that game and was much more tolerable without his crazy significant other.
The story that I have isn't about someone I played with, but an incident that we had in our local game shop many years ago. My wife and I had just moved in together and hadn't gotten married yet. We went to the local game shop with a friend of ours daughter in tow (She was about 12). Walking into the shop with Tigerlily is a joy any time due to most of the men who hang out there act as if they have never seen a woman before and can only grunt and point. The fact that she's 5'10" with long blond hair and a don't f*$# with me attitude only adds to this. Anyway, our friends daughter and I have always play fought, pushing and slapping at each other. Standing in the store, this ensued. From the time we entered, this game store dweller had been following us around trying to dazzle my wife with his geak knowledge and had basically been anoying the hell out of me, trying to make me look bad in front of my wife (then girlfriend).
At this point, my friends daughter hits me in the shoulder for someting I said. This guy, who I've never met before tells her, "No, thats not how you do it, you need to learn to use a preasure point." At which point he grabbed MY hand and starts looking for the preasure point on the back of my left hand. (A bit of description is in order. this guy looked like he was in his late thirties, was about 5'4" and weighed about 90lbs. I am 5'10" and weigh about 300lbs. I also don't like being touched.) I would have laughed if it hadn't pissed me off so bad. I reached over and caught his wrist and twisted it into a wrist lock, turning it into an arm bar. This little fool doubles up his left fist like he's going to punch me, so I swung his arm out wide and dropped him face first into the floor and then put a knee in his arm. Tigerlily turns and just sees me drop the little man to the ground, and starts yelling at me to let him go. Luckily the owner of the store had been watching what had happened and thought it was all pretty funny. I let the little man up, at which point he promptly tells me that he could have hit me in the balls. At which point I tell him that I could have then shattered his arm in a dozen places and then put him into the floor with enough force to shatter his skull.
Anyway, we paid for our stuff and left, and to this day I laugh about the guy who showed me "The flying ninja death strike) at the game store. I hope he leared an important leason about the difference between what his characters can do verses what he could do. Crazy!
Blackdragon, good job! I was just waiting when I first started reading that for when you would get into some kind of fight/arguement. You didn't dissapoint me! That gave me a laugh. You did the right thing, heck I woulda tried the same. :)
Thx everyone keep posting! I'll check back later.
~GtG
Back when I was in college, and was just getting started gaming, one of the players had a roommate that was interested in playing. This was Sophomore year, so the group had a well established dynamic, and we wanted to expand. So this kid (no seriously, like 16, tested out of high school) joins us one night dressed out in full regalia. He's got on the spitting image of what his character is wearing, down to a leater backpack, and some theatrical weapons. OooooK. And he's not into just throwing dice and yelling Huzzah, he actually acts out what his character is doing and jumping on the furniture. Scared the hell outta me.
That was my first experience with someone who'd been a LARP'er. he eventually left school halfway through the semester. Wasn't emotonally ready or some such thing. Last I heard about him, he was a semi professional (amatuer?) wrestler down in Kansas City.
ROFL!!! I have only heard of these people, never met one!!!! Sooooo glad I haven't. Whats LARP'er stand for anyway. I am guessing Living Actual Role Playing? Well i'll check back later. Thanks for the laugh Crimson!
~GtG
Back when I was in college, and was just getting started gaming, one of the players had a roommate that was interested in playing. This was Sophomore year, so the group had a well established dynamic, and we wanted to expand. So this kid (no seriously, like 16, tested out of high school) joins us one night dressed out in full regalia. He's got on the spitting image of what his character is wearing, down to a leater backpack, and some theatrical weapons. OooooK. And he's not into just throwing dice and yelling Huzzah, he actually acts out what his character is doing and jumping on the furniture. Scared the hell outta me.
That was my first experience with someone who'd been a LARP'er. he eventually left school halfway through the semester. Wasn't emotonally ready or some such thing. Last I heard about him, he was a semi professional (amatuer?) wrestler down in Kansas City.
ROFL!!! I have only heard of these people, never met one!!!! Sooooo glad I haven't. Whats LARP'er stand for anyway. I am guessing Living Actual Role Playing? Well i'll check back later. Thanks for the laugh Crimson!
~GtG
It means Live Action Role Player, and I;m sorry to tell you this but, I am guilty of LARPing. Yep, tellin stories of my heroic deeds while havin a shot of... diet coke (which was beer at the time) and ya, it was pretty fun screaming at the gnomes there cause I'm predjudice against gnomes...
Hrm. How about the guy who has way too big of a facination with dragons? I've been playing this game for about 2 years now, and I don't like dragons. I think they're kinda overrated most times, but that's besides the point. There's this dude at the store I always go to, and he's the DM everyone makes fun of, yet people get so bored that they break down to do his 'campaign', but usually only once.
1st level. The setting didn't matter (to him) even though I usually see him paging through the realms book. 1st level.
1st level. Why do I stress this? At 1st level, Bahaumet came down in front of the PC's, handed them some mystical book (think book of exalted deeds or vile darkness, but for dragons I guess) and told them to take it to Tiamate. 1st level..
Another would be when one of my old players called me and said "how do you figure the xp to give when a 8th level guy kills a 27th level guy" or some outrageous level difference like that. I told him that shouldn't be possible.
"well, I was playing Dragon lovers campaign and my guy beat his npc" or some scat like that. I just shook my head and told him to quit. Then he went on about how the DM gave him an infinite bag of holding that is filled with gold that can never run out.
Oh, and the DM let his girlfriend play in his own game. Now, I have my girlfriend in my game, and for the longest time I was afraid I'd show favoritism, but I got over it after awhile. I guess he wasn't afraid, cause he made up the Half Phoenix race, and let her be one. SHE COULDN'T DIE! She was immortal! Now I know that immortality in D&D usually means you don't age, that you can still die under extraordinary circumstances and what not, but SHE COULDN'T DIE! What's the point?
Not to mention he would over load the game with FFVIII references, cause apparently the BBEG was Seifer. Did I mention I never played any of these? These are all horror stories others have told me? Sigh............ 1st level...
Hrm. How about the guy who has way too big of a facination with dragons? I've been playing this game for about 2 years now, and I don't like dragons. I think they're kinda overrated most times, but that's besides the point. There's this dude at the store I always go to, and he's the DM everyone makes fun of, yet people get so bored that they break down to do his 'campaign', but usually only once.
1st level. The setting didn't matter (to him) even though I usually see him paging through the realms book. 1st level.
1st level. Why do I stress this? At 1st level, Bahaumet came down in front of the PC's, handed them some mystical book (think book of exalted deeds or vile darkness, but for dragons I guess) and told them to take it to Tiamate. 1st level..Another would be when one of my old players called me and said "how do you figure the xp to give when a 8th level guy kills a 27th level guy" or some outrageous level difference like that. I told him that shouldn't be possible.
"well, I was playing Dragon lovers campaign and my guy beat his npc" or some scat like that. I just shook my head and told him to quit. Then he went on about how the DM gave him an infinite bag of holding that is filled with gold that can never run out.
Oh, and the DM let his girlfriend play in his own game. Now, I have my girlfriend in my game, and for the longest time I was afraid I'd show favoritism, but I got over it after awhile. I guess he wasn't afraid, cause he made up the Half Phoenix race, and let her be one. SHE COULDN'T DIE! She was immortal! Now I know that immortality in D&D usually means you don't age, that you can still die under extraordinary circumstances and what not, but SHE COULDN'T DIE! What's the point?
Not to mention he would over load the game with FFVIII references, cause apparently the BBEG was Seifer. Did I mention I never played any of these? These are all horror stories others have told me? Sigh............ 1st level...
I'm afraid I'm also a dragon freak. When I started.. though the pc's didn't met one at first level.. (recall that was more of a detective story, no rolls, pure roleplay and questioning npc's :p) I do tended to drag them in too much. I've changed now, but they still pop up once and then.
Fortunately the only people I've ever played D&D with are close friends so nothing too wierd. But a friend of mine who plays with another group had a story about another friend who I never invited to a game.
Apparently the group fought a Tyrannasaurus Rex, fun fight and this player (with a gnomish bard with a cow animal companion... don't ask) after the fight decides he wants Dinosaur Feet Slippers. So he goes about hacking off the dinosaur's feet to wear as slippers. He then proceeds to kill his character off by running him into a tree multiple times. He was never invited back, and thanks to the warning I knew not to invite him to my games.
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Wait, I am the looney. One of my characters is my 8 yr old daughter, and *shudder* I'm letting her play a Spitting Felldrake (M dragon). I did tweak the race a bit, and gave her the ability to do a limited shapechange so she could enter town and such, but I made her start at 1HD and gain levels in her dragon heritage until she had all three racial HD. She has decided, much to my chagrin to now start taking levels of rogue. She wants to be the sneaky, open doors kind of rogue. Can you say natural spit acid attack with sneak attack damage.
Wow, your lil munchkin is actually a Munchkin! She will probably end up taking some fighter levels for the feats and BAB! 8 yrs old....
FH