You're a DQ, Item One
Pack up, go home, you're done
Your rules come from Hackmaster, in a game you'd be no fun
You're five hundred gold pieces... for a fifty-round stun!
You're an oddball, Item Two
I'm not sure what you do
I see three hundred words of strangeness in a thick linguistic stew
You're a heaping mound of adverbs... bound up with adjective glue!
You're a reject, Item Three
You're a clear SIAC
You're prized by Cats and Gnome Aristocrats, allegedly
Twenty times a day seems quite a lot for just a cast of shillelagh
You're a nightmare, Item Four
A Swiss Army Knife for sure
The list of all the things you do is quite a lengthy bore
You're a web, a fear, a fly, an aid, a bless, a bane, a glide, a haste... and a dimension door?!
You're real nasty, Item Five
You make me scared to rhyme
You're made of bones and ichor and unwashed ogre guts and worse
The three words that describe you best are grim, gorm, glum!
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss.)