Hello! I'm so excited to answer your questions. Here you go folks. Feel free to ask questions.
Is this a class focused on diseases? If so, the name doesn't fit... "venom" implies poison, not disease.
The focus on this class is on Diseases and Poisons. The primary ability of the class is the control over such poisons and diseases. And many animals in the animal kingdom were considered venomous, but are actually just riddled with disease. See the komodo dragon. One of the inspirations for this class.
N. Jolly wrote:
A few questions here for the writers and such; what was your favorite part of designing this class? What was the mechanic which you believe is the most vital and distinguishing this class from others? In what ways do you believe you've made this unique from its parent classes?
To answer your next question. My favorite part was toying with ideas around the mechanics of iterative effects. Poisons see a lot of love. There are many poisons in the game, and a number of abilities that focus on creating them. Few that actually enhance them in a more direct method than some of the ones provided by this class.
To awnser your last question, I believe the central and vital part of this class are two of it's first class features. The "Special Blend" and the "Toxins" class features. This and the ability to cause extra iterations of the effects of these features and other diseases and poisons should make the class feel like it has control of such substances.
And for your last question, The alchemist mixes up and makes poisons and bombs. The Kineticist launches balls of telekinetic force.
But, over all with such a heavy focus on delayed gratification, as opposed to direct instantaneous effects, means the class should feel completely different.
Thank you for the questions folks! I really hope you enjoy. I had a blast working on this project.
Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
It's also fair to theorize that RPG superstar came out early, so that they could FREE UP Those resources to work on StarFinder.
Owen is doing a lot of major work on Starfinder, as well as Jason, and many others. People who already have many time demands on themselves.
'Never again' is likely out of the question. They gained talent through this. The whole community has. It's a matter of patience. Paizo knows they haven't tapped the market on talent yet. They just need to grow a little more to house it. Starfinder will give us potentially 2 opportunities for RPG superstar...
Also, I'll see myself out for forcing that play one words.
I know all of you are glorious human beings. I'm trying something kinda super crazy. If anyone of you are feeling generous, I'm looking for prizes for my Dungeon Crawling Tournament!
Feel free to PM me if you are interesting in helping sponsor my tournament. Or, if you feel like participating, maybe, and are in my area?
I know this isn't the best place for this; but, I appreciate you giving the time to read this. Thanks in advance.
P.S. A digital book of RPG Superstar hopefuls all creating a single magical item might be a neat prize?
Kobold Cleaver, you devious wonderful plucky Kobold. Your cleverness is in-fact matching the cleverness of kobolds.
only things I can comment on:
Your template looks good to me. You missed one HELL of a spell requirement though: Heat Metal. I feel that spell requirement would have been perfect for this.
That would have just made sense.
Also, scalding damage is silly. That Might harm your votes. That key word would be the kind of thing that would cause some voters to feel like you MIGHT not understand the game. (Though, your description, I feel is appropriate, you wouldn't get such text for RPG superstar.
I saw improvised weapon, and body bludgeon... and I immediately locked into this conversation. I have a barbarian that is PFS legal that specifically wields NPC's as weapons. Improvised weapons are ROUGH to upgrade... but NPC's have several bonus's.
Namely: If you beat a werewolf, with a werewolf...you may bypass the werewolf's DR.
Your opponent's size is a limiting factor. Titanic armor lets you be a size larger for 10 rounds. It can help you grapple much larger creatures.
For added hilarity: Get a swarm-bane clasp... and Ghost-Touch Amulet of Mighty Fists. This will allow you to grab a ghost, and beat a swarm with the ghost...
Fun Thoughts: Magic fang makes natural weapons magical... you could argue it could make an NPC magical. GM interpretation there. You are already swinging an enemy as a weapon... your pushing goofy territory here. You will be doing MORE than enough damage with your shenanigans.
If you take the HURLING rage powers... you can hurl objects as improvised weapons...and with the belt of hurling you can use your strength score instead of your dex to hit... and add your strength and power attack to damage. Hilariousness ensues when you combine this with NPC's. Namely: Literally picking up and throwing NPC's out windows, cliffs, boats, so on and so forth.
I suggest investing in iron rope for this tactic... a round to tie them up in iron rope, then throwing them into a river, pretty much ends that NPC... (Unless it's some-kinda water elemental, or fish, or some kinda aquatic thingamajig... but I threw that one into a bucket... and called it a wonder-twin).
Look for magical items that improve objects in your hand in someway. These can improve improvised weapons, many don't but some do.
Fun-Fact: Corpses are objects, you CAN wield a corpse as an improvised weapon. Body bludgeon states that it's damage it's bonus damage ends, and the rage power ends on death. so it loses it's damage. Upon using a corpse the GM decides the damage of the corpse... which given that it's not fighting back and isn't stiff could be significantly less. If you have body-bludgeon though, at that point... just chuck the body at someone and call it a day. Lock down another opponent with grapple.
Belabras, I admittedly have been neglecting this thread a little as well. But compared to this time last year, I didn't have 6 projects with my name on them.
Now I do. This contest definitely helped me get noticed by some 3rd Party Publishers and got me moving forward in the direction I wanted.
It's been a glorious time.
Starfinder development hasn't hit it's stride yet. And while the Paizo team is super talented; they only have a little less then a year to finish the product. There is a lot of work to do, and RPG superstar also uses time and resources that could be diverted to development.
Owen has had some significant health issues as well. Delays are possible.
So...can anyone who has it confirm whether or not it is possible to copy and paste contents of the PDF into another file (an electronic character sheet or house rules document)? I'm sorry if this sounds like I am pestering, I just want to make sure I can actually use a product before buying it.
My attempt to copy anything form the text failed.
Hey Balano! Welcome!
I'm not going to be as detailed as Jacob's above. I'm going to try to highlight what I think you did well on, and what you could improve on.
First thing I want to focus on is that damage: You have a few knock out spells, which are un-fun for PC's to fight... but they exist so they should be used, albeit sparingly.
Mentally: incorporeal, Invisibility, Cause Fear, Mirror Image, Haunting Mist, and Deep Slumber.
These are all designed to mitigate damage. They do so in some of the more infuriating ways possible. Think about this in this way. The First thing it does is Mirror Image, Then Deep Slumber. Then... Cause Fear.
So... Mirror Image negates upwards of 3~4 hits. Cause fear provides the shaken condition. Invisibility (Which negates 50% of hits), and then Deep Slumber puts people to sleep for a large number of rounds. So after 6 or seven turns, you can hit it, just to find out it is incorporeal. So, if I'm wielding a non-magical weapon, A distinct possibility at level 4; My getting through ALL those defenses means nothing.
That's a lot of Defense to get through, to find out that you are not participating in this fight meaningfully. Just don't feel right to me as a player.
As a GM, it's a devious tool, and clearly this guy is meant to be handled with some kind of negotiation. Which is cool, I like monsters like that. But, it can't really defend itself. It's M.O. is "run-away".
Things you did right: Dropping the "Smoking a pipe" in the short description is good. I like the Pipe ability. The fact that the Blue Scarf feature is arguably the "Super star" ability here. The ability that makes it really stand out. I like how the essence of the creature is tied to such a prominent feature, and can render it even a slave.
I think what you need to do on your next pass; is give the creature a bit more bite. It's, not scary once you know what it CAN do. It's just going to lock down the players until they can eventually overwhelm it or stroll away.
However, it oddly feels ALOT like the Red-Cap. I think your Piper has some potential, but you need something that really brings out the idea that it's going to feed on your fear somehow, not necessarily kill you. Jacob's has a Really good review of your monster.
Isaac Volynskiy wrote:
Well done Isaac. I couldn't have told you, you were playing 5e without you stating thatI want to open up stating that I really like this items theme!
If there were any improvements I could give, it'd the name. Gravity well doesn't scream pathfinder to me. Starfinder, oh yes. Pathfinder, not so much.
The main power is the no 5 foot steps, which is a pretty big deal. There are a few feats that do things like this, and a few items... but not an armor.
The secondary power is what sold me. Using drag in such a way is a good plan. I like that it is a radious. It's a neat power and we'll worth the price tag.
The condition on it is a good choice. Not many things key off fortification, and it will stand out. However, such a power activating will be rare, and it is used during a dire time for a character. It may be viewed by some as a non power with how rare it is to get there. First a critical must be rolled, then a confirmation, then a successful negation.
That is a lot of steps to get to a neat power. Some might be turned off by it. I commend you on it. It would get my vote.
I will go ahead and echo Jacob Treir's advice here.
There is a big difference between "hoping" you make it through the first round, and preparing you make it through the first round. You want to be prepared, you don't want to be hopeful. If your hopeful, like I was, it will BLOW YOUR MIND. It will send your thoughts sprawling across the sea of oblivion in a storm of fragments, reflecting the hollow thoughts and ideas back at you. Thoughts mutated and twisted by ecstatic unfocused joy.
I ran a victory lap around my cubical when I found out.
You do not want to flounder on the second round. My map was a classic example of that floundering, and I will own it. I fixated on a specific pair of words in my entry. Flip-Mat. I know that, now. I built a very generic location, and I used very generic images to have the map usable in any individual's plots, plans and schemes.
I did not pay enough attention to previous contests, or entries as to the map round, and this year; I plan on studying those more and more. Read The Consolidated advice thread! Sean has a really good thread there, filled with excellent advice.
Read everyone's advice, do not stop learning, do not stop reading. I need to use cleaner word choice. I need to use less confusing sentence structure.
The librarian is a partial caster. His primary role in the party is something I like to call "Academic support". When a librarian is in your party, he takes the raw power of a particular character and enhances it.
He can trade questions from identification checks to raw combat benefits to the party. Knowledge is literally power for the Librarian. He's a mix between the bard and the occultist. So you can expect a lot of powers that assist others.
However; he is not a front line fighter, nor a primary caster. If you are looking to be the star of any particular show; (Combat, Social, or Skill Checks) the librarian is not the class for you. This class isn't to be on center stage, but to read the lines to the actors on stage when they forget.
The Librarian will keep your show rolling, when you yourself aren't sure the direction.
Sorry about the wait there!
Jeff Hazuka wrote:
Most feedback I've seen, seems to be about not attempting to fix a particular mechanic with your time. There is a fine line between abuse-able and usable. Finding that line, knowing where it is, and making sure you never cross it is what being a good game designer is about.
In your example of that shield: A shield COULD do that, say if it was super reflective, and you could shine a light into someone's eyes with it.
How many times can the user do this? 1/day? 2/day? 5 charges then spent forever?
Your effect is cool, and yeah rogues are going to love that item. That's clearly a niche your item will fill. Accept what classes will LOVE your item; just find the line between useable and abuse-able.
I suggest for your SUPER star items, that you make your specific magical item very specific. Clearly outline with it's power how it will be useful.
The thing about Utility items, at least in so far that I noticed, is that it's purpose, and it's uses must be apparent, and it must NOT be an item that makes camping safer.
Utility Items must have clear uses, clear ways it can help. I have an idea for a Utility Item that is very unique. I think it's really good; so I'm slowly working on it on the side.
Utility items when you think hard about them, and over think them, and give them far too many powers, have a tendency to fall into the Swiss-Army-Knife Syndrome.
A Combat Item has one specific role in combat. A utility Item can be used in combat and out of combat; which makes it step into that territory by it's very nature.
The Brass Helmsman is such a great example, because it just does one thing. It makes a ship easier to use. It Allows an adventuring Party have a massive boat without having a massive crew. I think the key to a good utility item is that it's a Uni-Tasker.
Following the Jacob's Advice, and the other feedback.
I'm going to post a Version 2. It has some changes. I'm mostly worried about making the writing more engaging, and better word choice.
Though, I ALWAYs want my templating to get better.
Eating Nice-Cream requires a standard action that involves consuming the cold surgery treat. Doing so leaves nothing but the wooden rod in the center of the Nice-Cream.
Good characters that consume Nice-Cream heal 30 hit points of damage upon consumption. The taste is sweat and refreshing. Nice-Cream then removes the fatigued or exhausted conditions from the character.
Neutral characters heal 15 points of damage and tastes of warm grape juice. Evil characters that consume this treat heal 7 hit points of damage and the taste is repulsive.
Welcome! Listen well to everyone's feedback. There is a lot of feedback to be had here.
:) If your just starting, I'd also take some time to read OTHER people's items to try to get a feel for what direction to move your design skills towards.
I'm going to give you some feedback that may be repeated from above:
Your name, it feels cool. "Feeling cool" is different then actually being a cool name. Naming is hard; a good name is evocative, and brings an item to life. Your item name uses a character name. That's considered bad form. The reader has no idea who this character is.
I can tell you've played of work with video games in the past due to the use of the word "stack". I like my video games too, and quite a many other people do. Stack is a term that represents a temporary state.
Sickened doesn't have Stacks. A creature is either sickened or not. Which is unfortunate. Though people before me bring up a really good point: people REALLY do not like drawbacks on magical weapons. The more you feel you need a draw-back; you need to take a step back and rethink your item a little bit.
Follow everyone's advice and you should go very far.
now if Only I could master that basic template...
*stomps off grumbling at his magic item template.*
hey folks! If you haven't played Undertale, then you really should.
It's a truly touching little video game. It made me cry several times.
And now for an attempt to translate one of it's many items into Pathfinder!
This baby blue sugary snack is cold to the touch. This snack tastes better to the innocent. Using Nice-Cream requires a standard action that involves consuming the food in it’s entirely. Good characters are healed 50 hit points upon consumption, and it tastes sweet and refreshing. Neutral characters are healed 35 hit points and tastes of a warm grape juice. Evil characters that consume this treat are healed 10 hit points and the taste is repulsive.
Jace Nailo wrote:
Welcome Jace! I've been away busy with things, but I want to welcome you to a wonderful group of magnanimous peers.
I'll give you my 2 cents on your item.
I think your template and pricing are very well executed. That's half the battle in RPG superstar to standing out. I don't notice any particular flaws.
Though; I think our own Template Fu is the one to listen to on that front.
Jacob's feedback is very valuable, I can only reinforce that the drawback while minor at the level the item could be afforded, should be overlooked for RPG superstar. Your drawback is on theme, and well thought out. I commend you for that; but most adventures are not willing to suffer any penalty for using a magical enhancement.
Another thing you'd want to consider is how similar is this item to others. For people with low charisma, this will be just a +2 Charisma circlet. Not a bad item, but, very expensive, and... there are cheaper items that do that effect.
The spell effects are where this is at, and; while the chosen spells fit. I'd suggest cutting one or two of the spell, to avoid the Swiss-Army-Knife magical item classification. Emulating spell effects (or simply writing a magical item that casts a single spell) generates what is affectionately nicknamed a spell-in-a-can. We've all made a few of them and sometimes, they are nice. But; they are fundamentally less interesting then a whole new effect.
Spell-in-a-Can's do not do well for this competition. There is a very good set of blog entries that turn a sword that casts fireball into a much more interesting sword. I suggest reading it here.
Mikko Kallio wrote:
That's probably one of my top 10 favorite movies. Easily one of my inspirations for horror game elements.
I spent a long time trying to emulate that horror... and that movie inspired one of my Favorite Video Games Of All Time:
I would love a chance at adopting some of Silent Hill to a tabletop experience.
Thank you Everyone!
For the feed-back starved comment. I don't have a lot of people on MY end that really break things down on that level. I have 1 or 2 people at most. And MOST people are big on the grammar over here... not the actual design.
So, I can get PLENTY of spelling/grammar checks. But nothing as far as the "Evolution" of my skills as a designer besides "That sounds fun!".
Which, don't get me wrong, that's important. I just want some finesse, and to hone the skill.
Again: Thanks to EVERYONE who is taking the time to help me with feedback!
Here is my re-write:
Northern Wind’s Sting
After being thrown, a single ice shard from the attack can be recovered. When submerged in water, or exposed to a cold wind, the ice shard returns to it’s dart form.
Following Briggs example: I have a problem with CLARITY. I often come up with neat mechanics in my head, but translating them to paper is often a problem.
So: with the goal for getting better and clarifying the power, I offer you a practice item. Please, by all means, tear this a part this sacrifice and show me how I can be more clear in my writing:
As part of a full–attack action the wielder of the North–Thorn may throw ice shards instead of throwing the dart itself. The ice shards deal 1d6 points of cold damage plus the wielders strength modifier as piercing and magical damage. Using this power inflicts 1 point of damage to the North-Thorn, and this power no longer functions while it has the broken condition.
The North-Thorn may be repaired by being submerged in cold water, or being exposed to cold winds of moderate level or higher. Exposing the North-Thorn to water or cold wins for an hour repairs all hit point damage from it and removes the broken condition. Using this power does not repair the North–Thorn if it was thrown.
David Knott; they are supposed to be fore any cleric or psychic.
The empath's spell list is rather limited compared to the cleric or the psychic. This change of spell list options is to represent the empath learning to use his powers in new or interesting and useful ways.
Enjoy the expanded spell lists.
Edit: I welcome anyone to ask questions about the class!