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14 posts. Alias of The Jade.

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A unicorn fears she may be the last of her kind, and sets out to discover why.

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle was first published in 1968 and is generally considered one of the all-time best fantasy novels. The book was followed in 1982 by an animated film adaptation. Featuring the voices of Alan Arkin, Jeff Bridges and Mia Farrow, the film captured the hearts of a generation of fans.

After more than thirty years, enthusiasm for The Last Unicorn is still strong. I am particularly fond of this story, and so I jumped at the chance to help Peter with the upcoming screening tour.

Visit The Last Unicorn Screening Tour Website

The goal of the tour is to give as many people as possible a chance to meet Peter and see The Last Unicorn the way it was created to be seen — on a movie screen. There will be screenings all over America from now through the end of 2015, as well as several major cities in Canada, the United Kingdom, Ireland, and Germany.

The first screening is in San Francisco on April 20th at the iconic Castro Theatre. This is more than just the premiere of the Last Unicorn Screening Tour. It’s also Peter’s 74th birthday! So from 6-8 PM the Cartoon Art Museum is going to celebrate The Last Unicorn and its creator by throwing a special VIP birthday blast for Peter with another raffle, a VIP auction, more book signing, a book singing — yes, you read that right — and Peter’s first public reading of a brand-new Schmendrick story.

This is Atomic Array’s seventh Special Episode, and seven was certainly a lucky number for me because preplanning this interview got me on the team as an Associate PR Director over at Conlan Press and for this screening tour. Kind of a dream come true. Kind of exactly like one.

Also mentioned:
* Standard Action Season 3 Kickstarter
* ENnies Publisher Karaoke Fundraiser

About that last item… The ENnie Awards are a celebration of quality RPG products. Not for profit, they try to raise money when and where they can, and often in inventively creative ways. This time, one of those ways is to have donations choose three acts to go onstage just before the ENnie Awards 2013 ceremonies begin at Gen Con this August. If my song is in the top three, I - with the help of some Star Trek cosplay models/dancers - will do a version of I Melt With You by Modern English, only I’ll sing I Meld With You and be done up as Spock facepalming wriggling Enterprise dames right and left onstage. Should be a fun time, and I’ll record it and upload it to YouTube. If you can spare a single dollar donation, it'd actually mean a lot to the ENnies. And you certainly don't have to pick my song.

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The Atomic Array Podcast's latest Special Edition: Breaking Into RPG Freelancing with Mike Welham <--linkie.

Listen in and hear Mike talk about the contest, and Sean K. Reynolds comes on at the end for a five minute discussion about RPG Superstar.

Atomic Array's Gen Con video coverage, Day 1

More coverage and Paizo coverage to come, and also a breakout short film about the Rise of the Runelords Deluxe Collector's Edition, starring Liz Courts, Jen Page, James Jacobs (actually a strong actor), and yours truly.

Nice shot!

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Iron GM wanted to thank Offworld Designs for the many T-shirts they've given us over the years, and so I wrote and recorded a silly little ditty and shot a video with Jen Page.

HERE IT IS! <--there it was

Paizo posters had these hurtful things to say about it on Facebook:

Mairkurion - "I love it! But who's the guy with the creepy voice? Sounds like David Bowie mated with a member of the Mythos..."

Crimson Jester - "Rone's voice comes across as some weird vibe as if he is chaneling the voice of Erich Zann."

Heathansson - "I was waiting for the bass drop.....gzzzzzz WOOP! WOOP! bvvvvvvvvvvp "tshirt for that booty pow" gzzzz WOOP! WOOP! BVVVVVVVVVP GAKGAKGAK "TSHIRT FOR THAT BOOTY POW" GZZZZZ...... Skrillex style."

HoustonDerek: "That sounds like dubstep...ewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's awful. Sounds like dying frogs. Rone, I don't even know you anymore."

The Jade (to mine critics): "Never stop @#$%ing yourselves."

Other Paizonians had this to say:

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny - "Gamer-themed pop punk = win."

Wolfthulhu - "Hahaha... [epic mount] Nice..."

Urizen - "This video is even better than white power milk!"

Ambrosia Slaad - "Jen is cute, and so is the video. :)"

All in good fun. I love these guys.

While you're at it... click me too to prove you can.

And if for any reason you have yet to vote for your favorite RPG stuff at the ENnie Awards, please choose the ENnie nominated Iron GM Podcast for Best Podcast HERE.

If any of you haven't voted yet, Lou Agresta and I of the Iron GM Podcast would be most grateful for your Best Podcast vote: LINK TO VOTE

If you still haven't heard Paizo's own Jason Bulmahn explain what makes him such an amazing GM... look no further! From the shadows emerges... A MAGICAL LINK TO BULMAHN!

And what makes Wolfgang Baur such a great GM? Let this incorrigible braggart boast to you himself! (That's funny if you know him) WOLFGANGIAN LINKAGE!

Comments please!

Our 2012 Iron GM World Championship at Gen Con

My favorite part is our new animated logo at the end.

We gave away 18 grand in prizes at our six hour event, and gamer/actress Jen Page of The Gamers: Dorkness Rising fame cohosted with us.

Paizo's giving prize support at our events... because they ROCK!


Steven talks about how his stories sprang from roleplay gaming, the history of his books, the craft of writing, music, movies, funny anecdotes, fencing, and admits to some crazy stuff.

We had a great time, and we hope you do too. Please give 'er a listen.

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Jason and I enjoyed an informative chat on the fifth episode of the Iron GM podcast.

Find it here: LINK

You can also subscribe to us on iTunes.

Although our show pushes our Iron GM tournament, a nationally touring show that tests GMing skill and rewards our winners with big prizes, the occasional wad o’ cash, and free trips to Gen Con, we always have a GM luminary grace us with their perspective on game mastery.

Past guests: Chris Perkins, Monte Cook, Bruce Cordell, Pete Adkison, and now… the titan of smitin’... the king of +5 bling... the viscount of body count… Jaaaaaaa-son Bulllllll-mahn!

We just switched over to a new site template so a couple of links are temporarily missing, but you can still access almost everything. Please, check out the latest show and give us your impressions.

I edited Mario's main game, Venture, and this, his expansion.

The rules are substantial for a board game, yet easy to grasp. I'd say it takes you about a half-hour of play to become proficient. Despite the ease of play, I've seen strategists far greater than me treat this game like chess.

"Man... I'll just play over here with the thirteen year olds."

Very cool. :)

[trumpeting heralds]

Louis Agresta and I will be signing our Pathfinder compatible, Citadel of Pain for use with the Gaming Paper Adventures Map: Mega Dungeon 1, at the Gaming Paper Booth (Booth # booth #1456) at Gen Con between 2 and 3 PM on Friday, August 5th. Actress Jen Page and Ed Healy will be there too, filming our sweet humiliation if no one shows.

For those not able to buy the adventure at the Gaming Paper booth this Gen Con, it will be available at the Paizo store quite soon. The early reviews have all been positive. So there's that. Right then, carry on.

[/trumpeting heralds]

Jen Page of The Gamers: Dorkness Rising fame will join us in Indy to co-host our daily Atomic Array coverage from the con. She’ll also accompany Ed Healy and I to the ENnie Awards and she’ll co-host the Iron GM tournament on Saturday with Ed, me, and the inestimable Mr. Louis Agresta.

Why am I telling you this? I’m boasting. Can’t a man boast? Jeez. Lay off.

The ENnies voting booth is up and running!

If you'd be so kind as to click and follow the link above and then scroll down to the Best Podcast category, assign "Atomic Array" a value of "1", complete all your other votes, and then hit "Submit" at the bottom, we'd be forever grateful.

Congrats to Paizo once again for securing so many nominations. So very much deserved!

You may recall Atomic Array's recent 3rd Special Edition episode where we featured the Pathfinder Tales line of fiction and spoke with James Sutter, Robin D. Laws, Howard Andrew Jones, and Dave Gross about their novels.

Or our episode 50 conversations with James Jacobs and Greg Vaughan about World Guide - The Inner Sea and Pathfinder Module: The Witchwar Legacy.

This morning we released our 2011 ENnie Awards special edition in which we revisit interview snippets from any games we featured that were nominated for an award. We also call famed novelist Jim Butcher to get his impressions of having an RPG based on his Dresden Files series nominated for a batch of ENnie awards.

Atomic Array would also like to congratulate our esteemed competition. We'd like to but we just can't. It feels wrong. Ah, but I jest. The competition is stiffer this year than a zombie Olympics gymnastics team. Congratulations one and all! The bar in RPG podcasting is steadily rising to stratospheric heights.

Click Here

The interviews on the RPG Countdown podcast are short because we talk to game designers and publishers about ten products for each show, but Paizo made it onto our countdown of the top ten RPG products twice this week with the Pathfinder Core Rulebook and Ultimate Magic.

The sales figures we track base partially off information provided by participating retailers. Of course, if Paizo provided stats (not gonna happen), they would rule the countdown with an adamantine fist. ;)

Also of interest:

Dale McCoy, Jr talks about going to Paizocon and Owen KC Stephens talks about Super Genius’ latest hot selling Pathfinder compatible products.

Robin D. Law's Livejournal entry where he says, "Ed Healy and Rone Barton, of the Atomic Array Podcast, are d!cks."

Now I assure you, he meant it in the nicest possible way.

And another huge standalone PF compatible adventure called Citadel of Pain, from Louis Agresta and YOURS TRULY?!(Coronets blare a stately fanfare)

Gaming Paper’s Erik Bauer, along with West, Cook, Greenwood, Schend and Cortijo join Ed Healy and I on Episode 55 of the Atomic Array podcast to preview this new line of Gaming Paper Adventures, a first foray into publishing from the company that won two silver ENnies in 2010 for “Best Miniatures Product” and “Best Aid or Accessory.”

At show’s end, listen in as I punk each of these legends of gaming. Methinks I’ll never work in this town again… which is actually great timing because I couldn’t afford the taxes anyway.

Enter our contest to win one of two copies of the Citadel of Pain adventure. I coauthored it and it is simply magnificent. I really can't say enough good things about it. ;)

Quote a lyric from a song that caused you to take action in real life and then tell us the tale of your result.


"Would you like to swing on a star..."

I really wanted to, and then I had my chance. An extra dimensional super being known as The Little Prince flew by on his tethered flock of wild birds and scooped me up, taking me into deep space with him. A quizzical child to be sure, but seemingly quite dear. He showed me the loveliest star in all the universe and recalled that sweet line from an old song and I wept, stepped and then leapt for it.

However, when my hands touched the star's flickering tendrils they atomized instantly. The Little Prince hunkered down on a comet stopping a moment to get directions and then just laughed and laughed as the comet sped him away. There was no air in space to carry sound to me, but he was jerking around in way that looked like giggling anyway... or some kind of celebratory Hawaiian jitterbugging. The little knob. Operas of pain whistled through my cavern head but a second later I awoke back on Earth amidst the smell of me-bacon.

My career as a flautist is over now that my arms end in angry, carbonized stumps, so don’t question why I spit on sleeping stars whenever I get the chance. News of supernovae is the only thing that gets me to smile these days.

I know that was a terribly long example, but you should admire me. You have no idea how long that took me to type with my tongue.

Iron GM™ turns adventure role-playing into a competitive sport. At the start of the event, GMs are given three secret story elements on which to base adventures using the 3.5 System Reference Document (SRD). Game Masters shine when they create exciting, original adventures that give their players the game of their lives, regardless of the GM's level of experience. In the end, it's up to the players to decide who will be crowned the Iron GM™.

$13,000 worth of prize support from top publishers like Paizo, Crafty Games, Steve Jackson games and so many more… all at one event this coming Saturday the 26th at Total Confusion, New England’s Largest Gaming Con!

Winning GM earns the title Iron Contender and receives a free trip to Gen Con (airfare, hotel, 4-day badge) to compete in the Iron GM World Championship.

Winner also gets a check for $1000. That’s right. Come get you some.

Every player who shows up to roll walks away with books and shirts and a one month subscription to Dungeon-A-Day courtesy of Super Genius Games. That’s $50 in sweet swagaliciousness. You’re welcome.


This was our last regional semi-final at NeonCon in Vegas

Robot Viking’s recent article

Visit our website for all the rules and listen our first two Iron GM podcasts with such esteemed guests as Monte Cook and Chris Perkins and more…

Want to keep up on where we’ll be appearing next? Join our Facebook group.

So at 11:11 tonight...

(11:11 1/1/11 = 11111111 <-binary for "ÿ" which is Urdu for "absurd ritual")

--look at your digital clock and, growling, rake your fingers before your field of vision as if your jagged claws were profoundly etching time itself. This will be the only time in history such an action is possible.

I'll be doing it and I hope you'll join me. Together we'll open a portal to the eleventeenth dimension!

S.O.B. being a movie he made...

The great writer/producer/director/actor Blake Edwards passed away. He created so many masterpieces, and perhaps looming above them all... the Pink Panther films.


It's the 50th episode of our Atomic Array podcast, and we wanted to do it up right.

Our good friend Greg Vaughan joins us to talk about his wintry Pathfinder Module: The Witchwar Legacy. We’ve also invited Mr. James Jacobs back on the show to give us a preview of World Guide - The Inner Sea, which will be coming out in February, but before then you can always grab a copy of the Inner Sea Primer from the Paizo.com store.

Our giveaway this time includes a special treat, an Advanced Reader Copy of Pathfinder Tales: Winter Witch, by Elaine Cunningham.

Ed’s Pick: The Winter Witch

Rone’s Rant: “Every Man, Not An Everyman”

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny deftly performs a song he composed around a poem I wrote a couple years back on Paizo.com about our diverse community here. Check it out because it's a lot prettier than my recent sentence construction.

Iron GM's Regional Semifinal in Vegas felt as big and Iron as the Titanic... yet we reached our goal and no one drowned.

Thanks to Jason Bulmahn and Paizo for their kindness and generosity. Thanks to the NeonCon crew all the Iron GM participants. And thanks to our stunning gamer girl Ashley McRoy and Coax Love productions for making this film.

If you let the video play past the seeming end, there are some fun out takes.

We're going to do this all over again at TotalCon in MA, then again at synDCon in DC, and we expect another Regional Semifinal or two after that and before our Gen Con World Championship.

I'll bet that you saw and enjoyed some film this guy helped make.

Paizo board's own Kassil did you all proud.

This guy gave his table the game of their lives (one of his players was a games organizer at a big ComicCon in Phoenix). Kassil truly earned all that swag and that FREE TRIP TO GEN CON and speaking of trips... what a trip it was seeing Jason Bulmahn hang around for the ending of our Iron GM event to personally sign all four of the Paizo hardcovers over to Iron GM Flounder.

We'll interview Kassil and some of his players about the game in episode 2 of the Iron GM Podcast.

Congrats. Big K! You are a rock star of gaming!

If you'd be so kind, please check out our new podcast about game mastery and let us know what you think. We'll feature two interviews with world class GMs on each monthly episode.

Link to Episode One

We've got some really big names lined up for the next few shows. :)

This cover's style use of color grabs my interest with both hands and shakes me until I pee a little. HOT! Who dun it?

It’s been almost two months since our Iron GM event at Gen Con Indy 2010. We’ve been busy ever since, working diligently to bring you a circuit of Regional Championships hosted by gaming conventions around the US. The prize support at each con will be mythic to the tune of thousands of dollars in swag in for GM and players.

Our next stop… NeonCon! Saturday, November 6th at the Tropicana Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. Come hang out with us, roll some dice, and REGISTER NOW!

Any questions? Ask away.

How about some copy from our site instead, you ask? No problem!

Think you’re the best Game Master in town? Prove it!
Iron GM is the national tournament that turns adventure-making into competitive sport. Game Masters clash in a challenge of wits, stamina and creative potency for prizes and a title shot!

Players, Looking for the Hottest Game Around?
Players, reap the fruits of battle as your GM fights to give you the greatest game of your life! Sit in judgment – only you can decide if they are Iron!

How’s it work?
GMs are randomly assigned to a table of Players. Next we reveal our three secret story ingredients. At Gen Con Indy 2010 our three secret story ingredients were Bodak, Banishment and Boudoir.

GMs have sixty minutes to craft adventures, placing the secret ingredients at the nucleus of their games, while Players have sixty minutes to build characters. After hours of thrills, Players rate GMs on special scorecards using tournament-tested criteria.

Iron GM’s default game system is 3.5 OGL, but you are welcome to substitute an alternate game system if the Players at your table unanimously agree to the change. Just arrive, prepped to the hilt and ready to run 3.5 OGL.

You want prizes?
Prizes for GMs and prizes for Players! The GM crowned victorious at each Regional Semifinal wins a FREE trip to the Gen Con Indy 2011 Iron GM World Championship!

Tony Curtis passes away at age 85.


One funny man. I'll miss his style.

Yeah boy! I've always adored Gaming Paper. AND they hooked us up at the Iron GM tournament at Gen Con with free sheets for every table and free rolls for every competing GM.

That Stan! created paper is amazing. Or in Stan!'s case... Amazing!

I had a strange feeling no one was watching The Pillars of the Earth. This does not bode well. Ah well, I'll enjoy it while I can.

I quite liked this game as well.

Here's an interview with the Fortune's Fool Fellows.

If for some reason you found this thread, but somehow missed the Paizo blog detailing their ENnie nominations... read below and vote before July 25th (this Sunday) midnight.

Do as I say.

From the Paizo blog:

2010 ENnie Award Voting Begins!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Voting begins today for the 2010 ENnie Awards, so drop whatever you're doing and head on over to the ballot box at EN World!

Voting continues through July 25th, but don't wait! Vote for your favorite games, products, and publishers today!
To remind you before you head off to cast your votes, here's what Paizo and some of our incredibly talented friends are in the running for!

Best Adventure

Pathfinder AP #31: Stolen Land (Paizo Publishing)
Best Aid or Accessory

Campaign Coins (King of the Castle Games & Paizo Publishing)
Pathfinder GM Screen (Paizo Publishing)
Best Art, Cover

Pathfinder Bestiary (Paizo Publishing)
Best Art, Interior

Pathfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo Publishing)
Best Cartography

Pathfinder City Map Folio (Paizo Publishing)
Best Electronic Book

Pathfinder Society Scenario #29: The Devil We Know Part 1: Shipyard Rats (Paizo Publishing)
Best Free Product

Advanced Players Guide Playtest (Paizo Publishing)
Wayfinder #1 (Paizo Fans United)
Best Game

Pathfinder (Paizo Publishing)
Best Monster/Adversary

Pathfinder Bestiary (Paizo Publishing)
Pathfinder: Classic Horrors Revisited (Paizo Publishing)
Best Production Values

Pathfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo Publishing)
Best Website

Pathfinder Wiki
Product of the Year

Pathfinder (Paizo Publishing)
Don't forget to consider us as one of your choices for Best Publisher, too!

F. Wesley Schneider
Managing Editor

We took two of the five slots for Best Podcast!

Unbelievable! :)

Best Free Product

Congratulations everyone who worked so very hard on that wonderful product!

First review in from RPG Now:

VENTURE is a visually beautiful game. It has a beautiful gamemaster screen and great art on the cards. The rules are clear and easy to learn.

It's the typical dungeon crawling fantasy boardgame, but with a fresh look. The heroes work together to complete the objectives of the quest. The most monsters have 1 hit point, which is very good to me, because it speeds up the game. I really don't like the boardgames, with many hit points monsters. The battles then are too slow. But this is not happening in this game. The dice help in this, because I don't have to make maths. The system uses 6 sided dice with symbols on them, so I just hace to see if the successes are enough to hit the monster.

Every round the characters can make some actions. I 've really liked the Stop and Reorganize action. It happens, when there are no monsters on the board and so the heroes can make together all the actions of the game. This action speeds up the game. Another good action is the Rest or Resurrect action. The heros delete all the wounds, when they find a shrine. In this way the heroes cannot die, unless they 've found the Boss monster in the end of the scenario.

There are 10 scenarios in the game and many others in the official site of Venture. In most of them there is only battle. I'd like to see more clever quests, with riddles, clever traps or curses and some story in them.

What I'd like to see is more different kinds of monsters. Also I want more event cards, with real events, like help the prisoner or meet a ghost that gives the heroes a small quest, and not only battle events.

I like this game very much and I want to see it published in a physical box along with all its expansions.

Rating: [5 of 5 Stars!]

Okay, I'll give you the answer.

Yes. They are both neat AND keen.

I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so
That I can hardly speak

Chattering Manbeast (Garrula Lingua) Animated maidenhead I am not high class but I have many many levels.

I was reading along with a few PbPs and I was curious to hear any summaries of experience GMs and players would care to share.

1. What PbP are you or were you in?
2. How would you describe your experience?
3. Did anything that happened in the game blow your mind? (Please use spoilers if you're revealing story details of a published adventure)
4. What do you like or dislike about PbPs in general?

The Atomic Array Podcast is very proud to spotlight the PFRPG compatible Conflict Roleplaying game!

"The most dangerous game is man..."
"Yeah but I'm just hunting Gary Noodlebaum. Trust me. He won't get far."

We interview game creator Mark Scott about Conflict Roleplaying, a game that works with the PFRPG rules to enable player vs player and team vs team matches between your Pathfinder characters.

* One on one (settle that who-ate-the-last-slice-of-pizza grudge!), two on two (now that's a fun double date), and because the game streamlines the combat rules... even teams of four on four aren't a bookkeeping nightmare.

* No need to roll up new characters! Just take your PF character and tack on a few new mechanics in order to enjoy this style of play.

* The maps are custom crafted for PvP and TvT tactics and they are absolutely incredible.

* The many mission types you can choose from bring the fun in a big way and you can even extract your characters from their [b]Pathfinder Adventure Path[b] for a night to let them enjoy some Conflict. This is a great way to let players blow off some steam and to take a breather from all that plot digestion, and it's ideal for when you GM different groups of players and want to put, or if you have some old gamer friends visiting and you want to hand your regular players a nasty (though thoroughly enjoyable) surprise!

Paizo and the Conflict site both sell the PDF but you can get hardcopy and the maps HERE.

You guys are already talking about Conflict on another Paizo thread which you can find HERE.

"A gamer should enjoy ____ time in the flesh pits of Callendria."

I know we're supposed to say his or her when gender is undetermined (although many works create their own internal egalitarianism, switching back and forth between the two, based on certain custom criteria), but why can't we just go back to accepting a singular usage for their and they? We were doing it over a century ago and it's still what sounds right to most people's ears.

It would make everything so much easier. Formal English writing is walking on eggshells without it.

Who's with me?!

::Charges off naked down the street ala Old School.::

By turning me on/off to THIS LINK

And here I thought The Thing That Should Not Be belonged in the Cthulhu universe.

And yes, Paizo staff is eligible. ;)

Episode 7 of the Open Design Podcast offers a cornucopia of fresh gaming goodness this Thanksgiving.

Wolfgang Baur and I spent a half hour chatting it up with world renown fantasy artist/children's book creator/movie producer Tony DiTerlizzi. He visited our Open Design Podcast to talk about The Spiderwick Chronicles, and to give advice to artists looking for greater exposure and advice to publishers looking to improve their communications with artists. He also explains how playing D&D helped him and his co-writer Holly Black craft a world in such fine detail that they blew the minds of film folk in Hollywood. Hey, does that mean we’re all developing talents that could get a film made? Personally, I do believe so.

We have a contest to win a sketch of a quickling from the pen of Ditty Lizard himself - hope he doesn’t mind that new nickname… it pleases me. Listen in to learn how to enter our random drawing contest.

Mike Mearls invited Wolf and Ed Healy up to WotC HQ to talk about game advice, what it’s like being Mike (his job experience anyway), and hints at a new board game based on a much beloved D&D game setting. He also gives a shout out to the Pathfinder RPG. Gamers loving gamers. So sexy...

Regular Features:
* ‘Ask the Kobold’ with Skip Williams

In episode 6 we ran a Halloween costume contest. Check out the entrants in our latest show page's slideshow.

Guest Bios:

Tony DiTerlizzi is a fantasy artist, childrens’ book creator and motion picture producer. DiTerlizzi co-created The Spiderwick Chronicles, and was an executive producer on the 2008 film adaptation of the series. He won a Caldecott Honor Medal for his adaptation of The Spider and the Fly. In the gaming industry, he best known for his work in Magic: The Gathering and on the Planescape product line for Dungeons & Dragons.

For years, Mike Mearls was one of the most prolific freelance writers in the gaming industry. His name appears on numerous game products, including a variant Player’s Handbook entitled Iron Heroes. In 2005, he joined Wizards of the Coast as a staff designer. Most recently, he is Lead Developer for Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition.

That's just the cutest damned thing.

AKA What's the strangest nickname you've ever been given, folks?

So a client of mine new to the country has been working on his English and it's coming along nicely. He adopted two cats and they're so timid that they hide from everyone and even he can't get too close to them. I walk into his home and not two minutes later the cats are a foot away, gazing up at me.

He says, "No one gets near them! You are a master of p*ssy!"

As vainly gratified as I'd be if that was the title of my biography, I explained to him that cat master would draw less stares. I was instantly reminded of Arthur, a sunny little Austrian boy with a speech issue who used to call across the field in first grade, "Hey Yone! Yone! Wanna play baseball, Yone?!" Inwardly I cringed a little because everyone laughed, but I never wanted him to feel bad about it so I always just responded to the name.

So you may now call me Yone or Master of P*ssy.

"Master of p*ssy I'm petting your fur!
Scratching your ears until I hear purrs!
Feeding you chicken and salmon that's pink!
Doing your catbox so it does not stink!
MASTER! (Meow!)
MASTER! (Hiss!)
Doing your catbox so it does not stink!"

Anything like this ever happen to you guys?

Two more days to enter.


An atmospheric, slow horror tale set in 1595, about a commission of Finnish/Swedish and Russian soldiers marching north together to agree upon and set territorial division after their war.

Things... go poorly.

I think fantasy and horror gamers might appreciate this small film for its rich characters who are perfect at maintaing tone, and for the foreboding mysteries within the story... likely to get gamers filling in the blanks for themselves. This film may not be for everyone but Sauna went in directions I haven't seen pulled off so subtly in many years.

CNN's important ongoing coverage just confirmed, all famous people who passed away this year... still dead.


(puts his 'zombie' rake back in the shed)

Where would I be wthout the constant reminders?

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