"You mean that I can kill people all Legal like?" Randy snatches up the badge and pins it to his Technicolor Dreamcoat. "Rough frontier justice sounds hot."
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"Hey XII." says Randy with a shrug. "If you ever get tired of bein' a cop...I have a few positions that you could fill."
Still reeling from the last attack, Randy can feel his back hurt by the weight of his now enormous breasts. Still, His large hips give him a lower center of gravity. His dodges are more nimble now. Randy puts his hand to the ground. His magic calls a geyser of molten lava to erupt. The glowing liquids rock spews all over the Brain's protective copper shield turning it into a copper skillet. "Brain flambé anyone?"
Randy is altered into a hyper feminine form. The transformation caused a brutal realigning of bone and muscle. The Misfit lashes out with a lance of granite bursting up into the mother brain.
The inside is soft Fungus! Use the wound I created to scour the insides with ripping sand! Begs Randy of Emi.
Collecting metal swirls above Randy's head. He launches himself to be injected into the titan's lung.
Randy touches the earth and commands Gas, Oil, and Coal to gather around the leviathan. He hoped it would be ignited by the cannon fire.
Following the tug on his 'Bone'... Randy races to attack a group on a rolling tsunami of earth.
Randy looks bored.
"Speciesist" Says Randy with a disapproving shake of his head.
"Snake?" Randy looks confused. "What you got against snakes?"
Badia lowers her weapon as Robo-John gives his spiel. She turns an angry look at Randy. "We will not be killing the glorious Flo T. Sam! If coin is all you are after, then you can have my share of the reward for the Ape. This has become more than just a simple hunt, friends. This is about good versus evil! Order versus chaos! Butt-kickers versus buttt-kickees! I will tell the chimera that she is safe, then we will find Donny the Water Wizard so that we may learn more about our ultimate enemy!" "What if the ultimate enemy is ultimately a frog?" Asks Randy "Will we again aimed at someone else to kill?"
"OK...That's all well and good. But we don't get paid until the chimera is dead."
"I'm sick of getting hit."
Obviously the jetpack is complete Sh!t. F#cking wizards. thinks Randy. He lands and tosses the jetpack away.
Like many of his biologically-male clients, Randy’s rocket enlarges considerably and goes off prematurely
Randy rubs his wick really fast until his little rocket explodes.
"You're not buying it's story are you?" Randy shakes his head. "Ask yourself, where are the other knights?"
"No, not right now" Says Randy in agreement. "But we reserve the right to beat you to death should it be necessary."
"Urgent need to make a sand sculpture?"
"He must be referring to the boat. We should go back down to investigate."
Randy pokes the knight with his 'Big Bone'. "Hey, Wakey, Wakey."
Everyone stops playing and the girls relax. Randy moves closer to Badia. He puts his hand on her arm. It felt like sculpted granite to Randy. "You know that you'll be takin' the lead again. But I'll need your help first." He squeezes her arm familiarly then releases. He points over to the broken ape. "I be needin' a pimp stick. Help me get it's forearm 'bone'.
She lowers herself into the water to enjoy a soak. "What's a 'mermaid'?" "It's a mix between a "Turkish Snow Cone" and an "Irish Facial" He says as he gets naked and soaks in the pool.
Randy gathers his energies to turn himself into liquid. Instead he only sweats.
An Iron rod bursts out of the ground in front of Randy. The tendrils of lightning ignore the rod as impurities in the metal make it all but useless. "His cape! Take his cape!" Randy knows it's the best way to throw the ape off kilter. The cape may even be a source of power. "Without it, He's just a dirty, smelly, crap-flinging monkey."
Randy reaches down and grabs the tear in the earth like a snake. He turns and hurls it at the zombies. The ground opens from a crack to an explosion of rocks that rips at their shroomy flesh.
Adding Randy's theme music Just change Carolus to The Misfit :P
Randy drops to the ground in a three point stance. His right fist causes the earth to ripple outward like a pebble in a pond. The ripple gets more and more powerful as it radiates outward. The barbarians are thrown up in the air in a backward arc. Most of them flail in mid air as they plummet back into the chasm.
Still piggy-backing, Randy projectile vomits left then right. He tries his best not to puke on Badia's massive back.
"Hey Badia. You think, I can ride piggy-back next time you Jump?" Says Randy with warmth and a smile.
"That's what I said." He juts his thumb at her and makes a face like she's crazy .
"Emesis Man? You got it." agrees Randy.
"Can you sculpt a backbone?" asks Randy. ”You, and me, and Strap-On will make an unstoppable team!” "Name's Randy, but you can call me Daddy, sweetie"
"Looks like you ladies will need a Man for protection." Says Randy. The Marshal removes the cuffs. "Wearin' a strap-on don't make you a Man. But good luck to ya." Says the Marshal and he quickly disappears into the crowd.
"Unionize?!?" Randy squirms uncomfortably. "You need to nip that sh!t in the bud, Sire. I have eunuchs to keep my b!tches in line. The knights seem like good candidates"
"Don't you girls have chlamydia to circulate among your social group?" Hisses Randy at the cheerleaders. "Come on." says the Marshal with a yank on the cuffs. As they walk past Emi-na's booth. "How about noise cancelling headphones made from sand?"
The Marshal came from the back room with a smile plastered all over his face. "What did I tell you? It's like having dirty sex with a ray of sunshine." Says Randy. They both laugh. The Marshal pulls out the handcuffs and gestures for Randy's wrists. "Come on, seriously?" Complains Randy. "You know, I got to deliver ya to the Registry in cuffs, until they sign for ya." Says the Marshal. "Candy..." blushes the Marshal. "bought ya a few hours without 'em. Don't make me regret it. They exit the brothel and run into eight confetti speckled men. Randy point his handcuffed hands back at the brothel. "If you got the time and the coin, no finer companionship can be found than what waits behind that door." "You too, Tons of fun."He says to Badia |