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Groetus! Groetus is the afterbirth of the End Times. A tatterdemalion pushing the broom after Our Lord Rovagug's circus parade. He will be swallowed up in the final conflagration of undoing before the Rough Beast returns to the bosom of The Pancreator. Until then, his goals dovetail nicely with His. Groetus's good clerics teach people to die well. They teach them to cluster into shelters during cataclysm, which happily will make them easier to catch in God's Holy Talons, and support one another in adversity, keeping more worshipers of the false gods alive until they are fed into the Sacred Maw of the Unmaker. They advise kings and mages against spells of mass destruction - they do not want the world to end until their funny little moon-god decrees it, but the Rough Beast is jealous of His prerogative to tear this world down to its foundation. They warn people of the spiral goddess' final judgment, although they don't warn the gods of THEIR final judgment at the hands of the Father of Earthquakes. A pity, but it is why He chooses humble evangelists such as myself to spread His good news.
are you saying that we...i mean, undead can't have some good in them? (even if their alignment is still LE)? UGH! The undead are a perversion of a perversion! Existence continued beyond its deserved destruction! If there *is* any goodness to be found in the bizznitch-goddess, it's her righteous hatred of those foul abominations.
How can you live with yourself, serving and aggrandizing history's greatest monster, who imprisoned and defiled the last true servant of the Monad, the Rough Beast who seeks only to tear down these flawed creations erected by demiurges like your foul sun-goddess, in cooperation with the very Devil himself?? Are you incapable of feeling any shame at how your goddess perpetuates a flawed cosmos in which only the strong prosper and death stalks us all by keeping our salvation tormented and bound in the gross material world he sought to transform? You wear such finery, as if your despicable sun-goddess deserves service from royalty, when she should be queen of NOTHING, weeping and broken, cast down for her hubris while Rovagug ravens and cleanses the cosmos of the lies and flaws of the demiurge! You claim evil when you see freedom! You strike with the sword while talking of peace! HYPOCRISY. You talk of iredeemability when your goddess is the worst of a bad lot! SHE should be driven from existence. SHE should suffer as the Cosmic Scourge has for millennia. SHE has chosen the Wrong by choosing a flawed and false Cosmos, and SHE has not DONE GOOD by subjecting a True and Faithful Servant of the True God to torment unimaginable. How could you like HER and not HE?
The real Pit of Gormuz is in the heart of every lackey of the False gods. The real Pit of Gormuz is inherent in the plots of the Sun-B%+ch and Devil-King. You can find the Pit of Gormuz every time you accept this weak and flawed creation as the only reality, and you're trapped in the Pit of Gormuz alongside its chief prisoner whenever you don't do everything in your power to tear it down and reunite with the Pancreator. The Pit of Gormuz was dug with the selfishness of so-called gods, its walls lined with their hubris and rebellion against their rightful maker, its depths plumbed by their depravity. Its lock is ignorance, its chains complacency in the society the gods designed to keep us slaves. The Liberator, called by some The Destroyer, or The Rough Beast by others, is coming, though! He will collapse the Pit of Gormuz, and He will tear down the walls of this Second World, and He will tear down the walls of the First World, and we will all be reunited in the sacred void. Rejoice and revel, for Freedom is Coming!
The messageboards are frequented by a priestess of Lamashtu and a stunningly handsome evangelist of Rovagug. I'm sure we could come to some agreement regarding the licensing of our images for a small donation to our respective churches.
Rovagug seeks to destroy this prison cosmos, this flawed creation of petty puling rebel Gods who disobeyed their creator so that they could rule rather than be ruled. He will pull down these walls that keep us bound to a flawed cosmos, to die and be reborn and die again at the whims of poorly conceived laws and at the hands of lunatics and hypocrites. He is a liberator and a hero, maligned by the simpering lackeys of his enemies so often that their lies are taken as truths. I have a pamphlet about it if you'd like.
That is criminal! If any animal is associated with gnomish society, it is the loyal badger! I hope we see this oversight rectified so that our Gnomish wizards and Gnomish rangers can have the familiars and companions they richly deserve. This bodes ill for the day when we'll see the iconic gnomish riding goat available for our Gnomish cavaliers and Gnomish Paladins.
Now that's just uncalled for. We Chosen are just as huma... er, no... just as much persons as the groveling lickspittles of the so-called "gods" We don't need "dealing with", thank you, unless you're interested in haggling over this cunning hat I've crafted.
The betrayer shall be cast down, and her works trampled beneath the myriad feet of God. She shall be rent asunder, the blood of treachery feeding the ever-increasing strength of Rovagug, and this flawed and tragic creation shall finally find the peace it screams for.
Yes, Weaklings dragging down the Strong through clinging force of numbers is typical amongst the soft and mewling so-called 'Gods' of the Great Beyond. No single 'God' could imprison the Rough Beast; no single 'God' could even harm the glorious Lord of Destruction. It took all of the planar leadership to distract Rovagug long enough that the Great Betrayer and the Sky-B!@!& could push Him into His cell. And even now, He stirs! The prison crumbles and the Rough Beast awakens. Tremble as He crawls forth from the Pit to finish the glorious task He began! Shout your praises as this flawed world burns in the last true Holocaust of Freedom! ROVAGUG FHTAGN!
Even Rovagug can have non-evil Clerics, and even I have trouble thinking of a good 'party line' for a non-evil Rovagug priest to follow. (Something about the world being flawed and broken, and it being Rovagugs sacred mission to destroy it, but the new upstart gods have stolen so much power and influence over this rotten corrupt world that they banded together and locked him up, so that they could cling to this wicked world and their ill-gotten power, denying the world the cleansing that it so desperately needs as part of the natural order of things!) Brother, this is in fact the beginnings of the Good News. The World was meant to be perfect, a shining vision of the perfect Creator's vision of beauty. A garden of delight for all living things. The First World was almost perfect, death and shame and sorrow all but unknown. But not quite perfect - oh, sadly no. Rovagug was the Creator's helper, his duty was to perform the unfortunate task of sweeping away flawed Creations, returning their essence to the bosom of their Creator. But lesser beings, other servants of Creator, they pleaded with their Master to save this First World. Was it not NEARLY perfect? Was it not filled with beings that could adore Creator in their simple, flawed ways? Creator, full of love for his servants and his imperfect creations, allowed this failure to stand. The inhabitants of this world, while they did not know pain or sorrow, neither did they know love or loyalty. They did not adore the servants of the Creator. Then, the servants of Creator knew hubris. THEY would create a world; THEY would improve upon Creator's work. They created this dunghill of a Creation, filled with small and petty beings like themselves, and named themselves Gods. This, loyal Rovagug could not tolerate! He came down upon this abomination, and stood ready to rend it to shreds. In his anger and his shame at having allowed this, he was blind-sided, betrayed and trapped by the most treacherous Gods, and bound in eternal torment. Creator could not help, for to reach this world, he would have to destroy the First World, and still in his boundless love he could not bring himself to end the ungrateful beings, who did not not even know Creator thanks to the treacherous silence of his servants. Yes, my brother, this sounds like bad news all around. It is the worst news - Creator cannot save the loyal and true, Rovagug imprisoned by traitors; and disease, deformity, savagery, and death grow ever more powerful in the hands of the so-called Gods. Where, you ask is the Good News? The Good News, my brother, is simple. Rovagug grows strong again. Rovagug stirs in his cell. Soon, the Rough Beast *will* shatter his cell, and then he *will* shatter this world, throwing the "Gods" down from their thrones, ending our suffering, restoring our essences to the cosmic whole. And when he has sundered this world, he will turn his attention to the First, imperfect, World and tear that down so that the Creator may at least reach his desire. And you and I, brother, the true Essential you and I, not this gross flesh or tawdry soul, but our True, Ideal Essence will become the building blocks of something so wonderful we cannot even envisage it. ROVAGUG FTAGHN! IA! IA!
Demon worshipers... damned to the abyss you all are. The Abyss, too, shall be erased and forgotten as the mistake it is when The Rough Beast rouses from His slumber, and shrugs off the weak and flawed bindings draped over His many shoulders. Demons shall beg for the mercy they never gave as they are rent limb from limb and devoured by His Ravening Maw. Flames of retribution and tears of joy shall engulf hell as He releases the damned from their suffering and throws down the very demon lords that scuttle and thrive in the misery of creation. It's all very neat.
Rovagug, against whom all Gods contended, and yet still survives, unharmed and simply imprisoned (incompletely and increasingly weakly). Rovagug, who bides his time, gathering his strength to burst forth and rend this flawed universe asunder. Rovagug, who does not seek any aid from his Spawn, but stands upon his own nine feet. The Rough Beast needs neither love, nor fear, nor even hate. His duty is singular, and the weakness shown by other so-called Gods is not his to display. Best that the Beast destroy to make room for perfection, than to fill a universe overflowing with corruption with yet more filth, no matter the cloaca that spews it forth.
All hail Lamashtu, Demon Queen!Yes, praise her! Praise the Life Giver, She Who Brings Children to the Barren and Slayer of the Weak. She who is lickspittle to the Gods, she who is complicit in the imprisonment of the True Slayer, she who births imperfections, stacking offense upon offense on a universe burdened by that which is corrupted and impure. The Demon Queen holds onto her title like a child clutches her teddy bear, trembling in fear of the return of the Rough Beast. HAIL ROVAGUG. ROVAGUG FTAGHN!
Ah, my Chelish brother, your devil-lords have clouded your mind. You find so-called happiness in slavery, where Rovagug offers us a holocaust of absolute freedom. He will tear down this broken world, freeing our souls from this prison, bringing us the bliss of unity with the divine. I would be happy to explain his Good News in further detail, if you'd just like to have a seat over here...
Now brothers and sister, be kind to our less fortunate compatriots. We are all still Pathfinders, aren't we? Perhaps they come seeking to hear the Good News of Rovagug from one who has heard His voice directly. The least we can do for these devil-kissers, hand-counters, mummy-slaves, and money-grubbers is show them how one is to act in polite society. Besides, they will probably grow bored and wander off once the entertainment starts - I have arranged a performance of the "Song of Sarkoris", performed by refugees from Drezen itself. |
