Search Posts
Which is why you have been (and still are being) subjected to horrible torture! *Strokes chin in sudden thought, realises that a shave is needed.* I don't want to go looking like Vidmaster7, that's a definite! *Gets a GoatToucher brand self grooming kit and starts shaving off the stubble.* Be honest now, Vidmaster7, I bet you wish you could permanently die right now.
*While the count is healing himself from getting shanked by the goblin. Sanpao takes over.* That goblin just gets weirder and weirder, then again, he is a MUTANT goblin after all. *As the pirates tidy away the chalkboard, Sanpao shakes his head.* You can't kill the count by shanking him, Poog's clearly lost his touch. I blame his mother.
1. I say, whose the smartly dressed person who keeps body swapping? 2. So I went to this nudist beach and some fiery, bejewelled woman told me that it was girls only. Then she said that she'd let me stay if I sold my soul to her, which I did, but she tricked me! Just what kind of sparkling girl was she? 3. Can you name for me a type of undead creature that has a piece of garment that doesn't affect it in any way? Here's your answers, next poster! 1. I hunt Kaiju for a living!
Nothing a little bit of rum and gun powder can't fix! *Pours six barrels of the finest grade rum and a mountain of gun powder onto Pulg and sets it alight.* Luckily for him, he's part phoenix wing fluff! The next poster's riding shotgun, underneath the hot sun, feeling like a someone!
Call them whatever you want, they'll always be your dirty, little fireday evening treat to yourself! *Unsheathes cutlass (with Comte de Malodor being horrified at the blade's serrated edge) and promptly performs (with much encouragement from Lady Blackmoor, Lashcastrakaa and Dowager Comtesse de Malodor) a necessary vasectomy on Comte de Malodor.* Had to be done I'm afraid! But don't worry, your wife will happily heal you... When SHE wants to! *Cleans cutlass using extra strength, GoatToucher brand, weapon cleaning detergent.*
*Sits down with the crew, by the massive campfire, watching something getting cooked over it.* Nothing like a nice hot meal to finish up a day of looting and freebooting! Serve us up already! *Plates of food are handed out (with Sanpao getting the largest amount) and the meat being eaten is in fact Bloodfang (who failed to eat any pirates). The evil dinosaur may yet return, but only because he's the pet of Lashcastrakaa and so, chance's are he can't permanently die.*
*Stabs Vampire Schism with two silver stakes (one in the stomach and the other in her groin).* Be thankful you're not a man. You'd be very upset. *Respectfully bows to Dowager Comtesse de Malodor.* I don't have scurvy, your greatness, nor would I let my crew to contract that or any other disease. Besides, I think your daughter (given everything she has had to deal with) would rather marry a gay jellyfish that spends all of its time cruising for rich snorkelers. Also, GeneStealer Cult hosts give birth normally. In terms of what has upset your grandchildren, Comte de Malodor has been telling them hurtful lie after hurtful lie (seriously, your son has managed to find a way to inflict actual wounds by telling untruths). You'd think he would do it to all of them, but no, just his nieces and nephews.
*Walks by, riding on a very annoyed Bloodfang (who may have lost his edge due to old age).* Never mess with a pirate king who can control beasts, and people too! *Bellows out laughing with the crew joining in.* I must admit, I'm surprised that Aduro and Malvel haven't noticed my presence yet. *Shrugs and continues riding Bloodfang along the beachhead.* |
