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Pussl stares at the other goblins, his lower lips curling down in disgust. "Licktoad goblins stupid. Come, Stinker. We let stupid goblins kill each other." He leaves the chaos of the village to return to his hut in the wilds with Stinker at his size.
Pussl stumbles forward as Chiggo shoves him, and reaches for his spear, chucking it at Chiggo before he can get out the door.
Stinker, meanwhile, goes into a spitting rage and launches himself at Chiggo.
Edited because my original plan didn't make much sense.
Pussl shakes his head. "Is real story! Heroes fight Long Legs Eats Goblin Babies Many. Long Legs Eats Goblin Babies Many die when Stinker bites it. Heroes find ship with Vorka and fireworks. Kill Long-Legs That Kick Goblin Heads and kill Dog. Pussl and Stinker kill Vorka while Old Foofelah scream at Poog and Chigga and Barking Dog mate on floor. Pussl also save Chiggo and Barking Dog by shooting fireworks at Dog." His brow wrinkles. "Pussl thought dog already dead. How did dog almost kill Chiggo and Barking Dog? Maybe they NOT kill dog. Pussl surrounded by bad liars."
Pussl gets so angry at Reta's tirade that the only thing that stops him from killing her on the spot is the need to hold his hands over his ears. Stinker, sensing his anger, begins to growl in Reta's direction, fur standing stiffly from its neck. Pussl steps forward. "Pussl and Stinker kill Vorka while Barking Dog," he gestures at Reta, "tries to mate with Chiggo. Pussl and Stinker also kill Long Legs Eats Goblin Babies Many while Barking Dog break her weapons. If not for Pussl," he claps his chest hard with a hand, "no goblin live to return except for Old Foofelah, who is too ugly to kill."
Pussl holds up one of the rockets for the crowd to see, showing his teeth in a vicious grin while Stinker stalks at his heels, snarling and growling at anyone who comes too close.
Pussl sighs and sends Poog a look of such disappointment. They wouldn't have to be listening to Barking Dog bark the whole trek back if it weren't for Poog. Shaking his head, he orders Stink to scout the path ahead.
Pussl looks at Reta as though she's nuts. "Pussl don't drag dead horse." He does help out with setting the ship on fire, however, after ordering Stink to stay a safe distance from the ship.
Pussl laughs so hard he almost drops his fireworks. "Old Foofelah no need worry. Stinker not eat Old Foofelah...she just bones and gristle, not good food like Vorka!" He makes sure to speak loud enough for even the old biddy to hear.
Pussl rolls his eyes. "Bunch of stupids." Meaning Poog but he was smart enough not to actually say that. "Pussl watching for dogs. Reta blocking way while trying to mount Chiggo. Pussl think Reta doing it wrong, but what else from Barking Dog?" He turns to grab more fireworks. "Grab fireworks! We go back to chief, be heroes. Play with parts later."
After the first few glorious moments of fire, bangs and glorious cacophony, Pussl begins to realize that he'd missed the dog by several seconds. He glares at the other skyrocket with suspicion and then turns his eyes on the three goblins on the floor in front of him. Chiggo seemed to be preparing to eat Reta's face and Poog was holding a potion in his hand. A wide grin begins to spread on Pussl's face as he turns the sky rocket toward the three. Meanwhile, Stinker happily continues to enjoy Vorka's intestines.
Pussl sees the dog apppear in the doorway and with a malicious grin aims the skyrocket at it and lights it with a snarl and a wiggle.
Pussl grins and points the fireworks at the 'dead' goblins. "They can be more dead. Deadder."
Pussl stops in his jubilation and levels a firework at Poog. "Why does Poog touch the dead? Leave dead be! More for us. They not worthy of reward!" Stink sees that Pussl is distracted and wanders away to begin munching on Vorka.
Pussl drops his club and grabs a skyrocket with each hand, grinning from ear to ear. He turns to survey the survivors. "Good Stink! To me!" He looks to the others. "More fireworks for us with Barking Dog and broken dogslicer dead!"
Pussl rolls his eyes at the efficiency of his fellow Licktoads. "Haw! Barking dog is silent at last. Stink! Kill bad toad!" He points to the toad to correctly identify the appropriate creature. Stink steps forward and tries to bite and claw the toad.
Meanwhile Pussl turns to the chest and tries to open it up.
"Stink! Down!" Pussl commands sharply. Stink obeys immediately, calming down and stepping meekly away from the frog.
Pussl lowers his club and stares at the giant frog. "Frog! Down! No attacks!"
As the dark energies rip through Pussl's insides and Stinker yips in agony, Pussl finds himself stuck in a dilemma between agreement with Foofelah's anger and hating himself for doing so. "Zarongel no attack Stink!"
Stink steps forward and continues his slavering onslaught on Vorka.
Pussl takes a step to the side and attacks with his magical club. "Stink will feast on your intestines and the frog will suck on your eyeballs!"
Still raging, Stink moves forward and assaults Vorka in a tumult of teeth, claws, hair and wolverine musk.
"Rip her kidneys out!" Pussl screams with glee as he moves up behind Vorka and attacks her with his enhanced club.
Responding to his master's command, Stinker moves into the room and heads for Vorka.
Once there the furry creatures goes into a growling, snarling, biting rage, snapping furiously at Vorka.
Pussl draws his club and follows after his companion, moving around the attractive toad creature to position himself behind Vorka.
"It's Vorka, she -- ack!" Pussl shouts, loud enough for even Foofelah to hear as the fireball goes rushing past. Then he draws himself up. "Stink! Kill Vorka!" He says pointing at her. He follows the order up by hopping on one foot, waving his hands grandly and shouting a series of nonsense sounds, vaguely reminiscent of rather explosive wind.
Pussl grunts, baring his teeth. "Reta only good for killing dogs. Anyone can kill a dog," he mutters. He moves around the room to the door. "What in here?"
Pussl turns at the sound of Foofelah's voice. "Dogs? Stink! We go kill dogs." He turns and heads over to the ship, making his way to where Foofelah is with Stink at his heels.
Pussl takes another step closer, draws his spear and chucks it at the horse.
Pussl stomps his foot on the ground. "Chiggo blocks Pussl's throw with clumsy steps!"
Stink erupts into a rage and fiercely attacks the four-legged beast with tooth and claw in a frenzy of stiff fur and angry eyes and ferocious growling.
Pussl aims the crossbow and pulls the trigger, even though this is the first crossbow he's evern seen, much less used.
As the bolt goes wild, he snarls in disgust and throws it aside. "Ugh. Useless!" Then he moves closer.
"Stink! Attack that hideous four-legs!"
Pussl briefly considers shooting Reta to shut her up but instead moves around the gate to a secure position where he can keep an eye out for greater dangers than the wicked four-legs.
Pussl looks at the shipwreck warily and raises the crossbow in its direction. His lips curl back in a silent snarl. "It is a bad place. Foul smoke on the wind and writing on broken boat." He crouches down in the grass and tries to blend in.
Since no one is grabbing for the crossbow, Pussl takes it and the bolts. He slides a bolt in place and eyes the bickering of the others for a moment. Then he shrugs. "We go now. Time to find fireworks and kill longshanks."
Pussl frowns as Reta begins to move away. "Where barking dog go? No need slicer. Club works good, beats brains from skull." He draws his club and swings it through the air to illustrate. "King be angry when Reta returns so soon without fireworks."
As the most perceptive of the group, Pussl quickly takes the pearl and the package of taffy for himself.
Pussl ignores Reta's barking and focuses instead on searching for and finding Longlegs' tracks. He is able to make them out without any difficulty. Pussl snorts and shakes his head at Poog's tracking skills. "This is the way." "Stink! Track Longlegs!"
"Stink not dog! Stink Wolverine. Stink kill Longlegs. Reta not stop barking, maybe Stink kill Reta too." Stink begins to growl and slaver, hackles standing up. Then Pussl calls him to heel and the two of them step back and begin looking in the tree for any treasures.
"Good Stink! Eat Longlegs guts!" Pussl pats the wolverine on his side and then notices Chiggo dying at his feet. "Chiggo looks like bleeding pig. Does Zarongel like Chiggo?"
Pussl raises club and rushes up to take out the Longlegs, now that all the hard work has been done. "I will cut out your guts and feed it to Stink! Stink! Attack!"
Pussl looks with disgust at all the goblins blocking his attack. Then he shrugs and throws his spear.
"Get out of Pussl's way!" He draws his club and steps closer to battle. Then he glances back at Stink. "Stink! Heel!"
Pussl eyes the beast approaching and calls to his companion. "Stink! To me!" He moves forward a little and draws his spear.
Edit: Just noticed Chiggo's actions likely negate my own so I changed them to make more sense.
Pussl isn't in any particular hurry but follows along at a steady pace behind some of the others, occasionally muttering snatches of his song under his breath. Stink is sent ahead to seek trouble and return if he finds it.
Pussl takes one of the paper candles. "Pussl blow longshank's shank's off with this, and then Stink will have blackened meat to feast on!"
Pussl takes the waterskin and tucks it away with a wide grin. "Pussl sing good. Too bad words too big for some." He winces at Reta's booming voice and moves away from her.
Pussl steps forward to take the challenge, glowering at all the goblins who insulted him. Stink moves up behind him, growling fiercely with his hackles standing up. With one hand in the air, Pussl begins to sing. "Me be Pussl, me be brave,
Stink be pet he do be foul,
Bite you, scratch you, tear you up,
Left in swamp, little Pussl did not die,
Pussl smart and strong, he knows enough,
Pussl gestures to Stink with one hand, extending two fingers up and then down. The wolverine stands up and then lowers his front legs, appearing to bow to Pussl. At the same time, Pussl makes a motion with the other hand and a group of goblins who had been mocking him suddenly find themselves surrounded by plants reaching for their legs and arms, entangling them where they stand.
With scarcely a pause, Pussl continues his song. "As Chief instructs, Pussl obey,
Pussl spits on the ground. "Chief? Pussl not want to be chief. Chief gets fat and lazy, sit in big chair and have Foofelah shout at him all the time. Chief no reward." "Give true contest, true reward. Pussl not stupid to take stupid contest and stupid reward."
Stink growls and is only restrained at a sharp command from Pussl. "You kick Pussl, you wake up missing foot one day. Pussl take challenge if challenge not stupid. Pussl not just hero, Pussl smart hero."
"Reta barks loud but doesn't bite," Pussl says, showing all his teeth in a big grin. "She clutches and babbles at Old Foofelah, like babe at mam's leg an' we plug we's ears to escape babe's wailing." He shoves his fingers in his ears to demonstrate. He pries Stink off a goblin's leg and follows after Chiggo. "Contest for Pussl!"
Pussl looks pointedly at Stink and the wolverine growls threateningly at anyone who dares to insult his master. "I will take this challenge!"
Alas, Old Biddy Foofelah is so sneaky that Pussl didn't even know she'd already accepted the offer.
"Poog, like itty rabbit, caught in a trap. Lucky you not need to gnaw foot off, Poog!" Pussl laughs heartily at the goblin's failure, pleased at his own intelligence in knowing better than to take on the challenge. "What next? What challenge is there for mighty Pussl, lord of the beasts!"
Cheering along with the other goblins in mingled admiration and disgust, Pussl approaches Chuffy and cackles aloud. "Chuffy eat so many bull slugs, Chuffy is disgustingest goblin in all Licktoad tribe. Not even Stink eat Chuffy now." He spits and looks to see what challenge may come next.
Intrigued by the offer to challenge himself as a hero, Pussl is at first interested but when he hears what the reward is, he decides it isn't worth it. He watches eagerly to see who is foolish enough to accept the challenge.
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