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What do I bring? Two words: Mythic. Haste.
And I bring color spray. And none of that jerk bully magic. I am a trade prince, and I bring awesome prince-i-nesses, you know the trade kind! Every pathsearcher team needs a gnome to keep them alive....
Me three!!! I am am a magicy person, and I do not use that bully magics! Although many of my fellow pathseachers do kill the jerks I leave helpelss. I ask the heavens to misfortune my buddies when they luck is mean to them! Or sometimes I misfortune meanies when luck is nice to them! Cept I am two pathsearcher missions from going to ten eyes place.
Just go back to eating the veg-i-atable soup. We know that is safe babe.
"We have a small measure of positive interaction with the Svirfneblin. I highly doubt that any long term relationship of any genuine value will be had with the Dark Folk, Drow, Duergar, or Ghouls. Still, if even a single immediate conflict can be avoided with words, we are better off." Just lemme know before thigns get violent. I can turn on the gnome magi-teli-vision and as long as you talls do not threaten'em. They will just watch my beautiful gnomey magic and we can armscay icklyquay!
"Does poisonin' m'enemies and tellin' 'em ah'll only give 'em th' antitoxin if'n they turn over th' loot count as a 'legitimate medical purpose'?""Venom, ya say? Ah'd buy some 'o that!" Why not colorspray'em and then drawed moose-taches on their faceses while lootin'em? Thats what I do. Then I have my porter rat food hold their stuffs.
Wooooowwww, your eyes got all funny and stuff.
fast pace gnome rant: Me next, me next get rid of my fears. Fear is the mind killerest. How do you lose your power and why is it in your ring. I have a ring that helps me do magic, it is my ring of blinkity blink-blink. Why is your hand blue? did you turn it blue to get more magics like I did to my blackened arms? How did you get your powers back? I once went in this yellow mist that made me scared and hurted me when I was time travelling. Can you make it never do that to me again? Why are you so pretty? Who cares about phyical power we got magics that can stop that film flaming metal wears dead in their tracks. You should get some gnome boots to magic you away if people hold you downn, cause us gnomes are clever and know how to avoid that stuffs.
Mister Garblenarf, I am assaulted at your lack of courage. Us gnomes gots to be the first ones down so we can experience all the greatness first! Those talls will hog all the cool stuffs if we let'em go first! Plus yer like the only one I could trust me the bad things happen. You expect these talls to duck when things come flying at their heads? Come on I will protected you.
Yeah, it is gonna be great fun. Kinda like a camping trip. We will get ta roast candies and tell the scarierest stories over a fire. Like that one time I got lockeded in the boringerest room for like SIX hours and thought I would bleach to death. Stupid hell knights.... I can have my porter rat food bring stuffs for us. That lazy coward would not venture to the World Boo-boo with me so i'll make'em come down there for sure.
Law - shmlaw
You see I learned the gods when I needed my color spray to knock out the not-so-dead. Some things break the loop, such as the not-so-dead deadies. Or ask a priest of Your-gonna-throwup. Laws mean always and that is not always. Stupid hell knights and their stupid laws not letting me do what I wanna do!
Just a gnome? Hardly... even More Icky acknowledges I am "The" Great! You shoulda said A supereliteawesomemagnificientunstoppableextraordinarysplenderfullawesomesup erflous gnome, some adventure cap'ns, some knight and somthing about staff. Rememeber he said I was easy to placate, and that blesses you guys!
Silly Arm Bin Kill, your lamplighters are not skilled but dabble in everything. I "only use" no weapon and I am pretty well-roundered. I am a very helpful pathsearcher. Why do I need ta know history? I am a good talker I can get someone else ta tell me. If a lamplighter wants ta take time studying everything. Well a group that each specialize in something different would be besterest.
You should get magical gnome boots, or a ring of blinkity-blink-blink like I do. My tiny littleness used ta get grabbed and hauled off by my fellow pathseachers. Now I just magic away from them. Plus I thought you slips hated the Jelly-axes? I was tolded by my buddy Lem-lem you guys are slaves there.
Ohh you misseded it. This one orc came in and called me Goblin, and trieded to musuk-le me, but I am such a great wizardy person he just flailed about, being dumberest. Then this nice demon, well he like boy too wink wink, with broken wings came in and was not as magic-y as me so he got man handled by the orc. So then the nice demon magiced the orc asleep and then some jerks came and took the orc away. You misseded the brawl. It was kinda sad though. That poor orc thoughted that he could muscle through magic, and we all know how that works. Right Rock wrestling giant, and why wrestle a rock? A rock does not move, it just sits there.
Well Unci Gorrilla helpeded me be a pathsearcher so I could loot things and do cool stuffs. He knew I had the greaterest potential. He even gave me a porter to help me carry the stuffs I grab! I think he need more gnomes as family. Granted evey gnome I pathsearched with was a zarni, but more would be better.
Zarta? Me and her are friends, I saveded her from demons. ALmost all by myself! I think I could have done it by myself if those stupid hell knights did not make us fill out that stupid paper stuffs. See why I hate hell knights they all law-de-law-da, but those laws can not even help me. Zarta got me this nice cloak because I helpeded her. So we are friends. PLus I think a soul is a good thing to have the more the better, cause I once ate a pra-sti-toots soul in a cookie and it made me more awesome. Since i am super awesome I am sure everyone would want me sould to be more like me!
We are not dis-advantageded. We are super advantageded! Us non-talls need less resources and magics that we are both in-ate-ly good at makes up for their big musk-els. Yeah I have evidence! How many gnomes or slips, because you guys are not half of anything, have sent you on an path search? How many talls have ordered you on suicide missions! All of'em! I have been on suicide missions all the time from the Dismemberment. But because I am an awesome gnome we survive! Yet they do not re-cog-ni-size my awesomerest-ness! The Decimaterate needs to en-courage more people like us to stop these missions from being suicider missions! My goal is to have the Deciderate to proudly be proud that I am a Pathsearcher of the highest order! With a plaque, and a cool spinny chair, and that fires ray beams....
Yeah! I have a greaverence! I feel dis-criminalized against. The Decemberment have like no gnome adventure captains! I never sawed a single one yet! Just a bunch of talls like sheila fatty-fatty-needs-to-march-it-off, and Vasilene Armbrush! This surely hasta be a case for you! I mean I never sawed a slip like as one either!
Fah rookie
Yeah yeah yeah! I gots strong magics. I am a colorspray master! I make them taste the rainbow! Then they get all twitchy and lay there. I do not like to use that bully magics like magically mistley, or fireball. I like ta put the bad guys in a spot where they do not hurt people. Like the bottom of a pit, or a ball of water. Plus I do not Tall-a-port. That is for you talls. I gnome-a-port. I also make make the besterest fake images. I once had this guy sitting hacking away at my wall of stone for like a minute! |
