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Have you ever wondered why the rations you put in your bag of holding sometimes disappear?

The humble bag spider is large by the standards of mundane spiders, with mature specimens being the size of a tarantula. It is, however, not a very accomplished hunter. Its web-spinning abilities are all but vestigial, its poisonous bite incapable of causing anything more serious than a mild rash, and it lacks the speed and defenses of other large spiders. For all these weaknesses, however, it has one unique ability.

A bag spider will seek out a hole, preferably one very close to their own size. In nature they will choose a hole in a tree trunk, a crevice in the rocks, or a similar opening. They can dig holes to use as burrows, although they are poor diggers. Then, it will start expanding its hole. It will bite and gnaw at the sides, spinning webs along the walls as they expand their burrow. The space inside their hole increases, but the outside remains untouched. As part of this process it is rendered airless, although much like the diving bell spider, the bag spider has its own method of gathering up bubbles of air and storing them in its burrow. In this way, the bag spider creates its own perfectly safe demiplane, where neither its prey nor its predators can easily survive.

In nature, bag spiders were never all that successful. While their little 'nests of holding' rendered them incredibly safe, they were poor hunters. And when they grew too large for the entrance to their burrow they had to find a larger one - a journey that was often fatal for the bag spider. But that all changed with the arrival of humans.

Bags, pouches and pockets make perfect bag spider nests. They're common, easily accessible, perfectly camouflaged, and humans sometimes put food inside of them. In fact, when a bag spider turns a bag into their nest, humans will often continue to place food inside of it. The bag spider, meanwhile, hides from the giant apes - they are far too large for it to hunt effectively, and capable of crushing it with a single blow. This means that a bag spider might go completely unnoticed, save for the occasional disappearing rations - few people explore all the dark corners of their bag of holding after all.

Of course, not all bags of holding were created by bag spiders. Wizards were happy to copy the concept. But if the right pocket of your old pants is suddenly strangely roomy, or the saddle bags of your donkey seem bigger on the inside, chances are you've got a bag spider infestation.

How to use Bag Spiders
Your players will love having a bag spider pet. The smart but shy spider can be taught tricks, fed bacon bits, and live in their bag of holding. Over time it will grow to the size of a dog, and will require larger and larger bags. Maybe they end up keeping it in a barrel. Maybe it lives in their saddle bags. It will happily bite the fingers of any prospective pickpocket, and its presence will increase the bag's holding capacity by 50% - it nicely organizes everything, and maintains the magic, after all.

Your players will be baffled to find one of their pockets, bags, boxes, barrels, pouches, or hats has suddenly become bigger on the inside. And they'll be shocked when the spider nips out and eats some of their rations while they're sleeping. Will they kill the spider, or befriend it?

A truly massive bag spider could have a nest the size of a house, containing an airless domain many times that house's real size. It might steal chickens and sheep at night - the only things dumb and slow enough for it to reliably hunt. But how are the players going to hunt a giant spider in its own domain, where they can't even breathe?

If you really hate your players, introduce Parasitic bag spiders. They live in your nose, or ears, or mouth. They use poison to leave that area of your face numb, and increase the size on the inside, creating a space for them to live. They're smaller, the size of house spiders, but hundreds of them could be living in your ears. And you can hear them chewing at night....

Made on rpg.net

Credit to Bhu of rpg.net

You belong to a clan of Werebears, but for some reason you were resistant to Therianthropy. But you are part Werebear. One of your arms is that of a bear, and some part of you is furry. Your foot on the same side may be a paw. You have decided to use your newfound powers to defend the innocent. Part time detective, full time butt kicker is you. Many of you also consider yourselves guardians of the natural world, and protectors of the forest and it's inhabitants. This includes some critters others would consider monsters.

At 3rd Level you gain the mighty Bearfist, and your Unarmed Strikes do 2d4 Bludgeoning or Slashing damage, plus your Strength Modifier. At 7th Level this increases to 2d6 damage, and is considered a magical weapon. This is considered a one handed weapon for purposes of the Duelling Fighting Style.

At rd Level, when you hit a creature with an Unarmed Strike attack, you can expend one spell slot to deal extra damage to the target, in addition to the strikes regular damage. The extra damage is 2d8 for a 1st-level spell slot (same damage type as the Unarmed Strike), plus 1d8 for each spell level higher than 1st, to a maximum of 5d8. The damage increases by 1d8 if the target is an undead or an aberration, to a maximum of 6d8.

At 7th Level choose two of your Skill Proficiencies. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of the chosen proficiencies. Optionally you may choose to gain Proficiency in one skill you do not currently have, and gain Expertise in one you do.

At 11th Level you gain Resistance to Bludgeoning, Piercing and Slashing damage from non-magical attacks that aren't silvered.

At 15th Level you gain several new fighting techniques:

You become proficient with Improvised Weapons. Due to your hulking bear arm, your Improvised Weapons now have the Thrown property with a range of 10/30 feet.

When you successfully score a critical with your Unarmed Strike, your opponent must make a Strength Saving Throw (DC is 8 + your Proficiency Bonus + your Str modifier), or suffer one of the following penalties of your choice: Shove them 10 feet in any direction, knock them prone, drop one object of your choice, or grapple them.

When you successfully score a critical, your next attack is made with Advantage if it is against the same creature, and does an extra d8 damage.

Your Unarmed Strikes now score a critical on a roll of 19 or 20.

After watching Oppenheimer and finding out about the Demon Core, I wondered how thus could be done as a trap/hazard in PF2? A very deadly object that can flash fry you if tampered with.

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THE DIRE GOLDFISH (Warlock Patron)
Once upon a time you had a dream, and in this dream you realized the Gawds were indeed crazy. More importantly, they were prone to drunken ragers, wherein they did many foolish things. And you dreamed that a Gawd took pity upon a poor goldfish in it's bowl, seemingly condemned to a short life of misery. So the Gawd set the goldfish free, and granted it immortality. The other Gawds didn't get the joke, until they realized he'd set it free into the Elemental Plane of Water. Goldfish continue to grow with age, but limit their growth in accord with their environs. Now, millennia later, the Goldfish is miles in circumference, and more of a roving geographical feature than a creature.

You see it in your dreams at night. It's vast, gleaming, squamous bulk. It's mindlessly cheerful, unblinking eyes. And you wonder to yourself "Am I dreaming the Goldfish, or is it dreaming me?" On the plus side ever since you began having nightmares about a Goldfish large enough to blot out the Sun, you've gained ever increasing magical powers. Screw sleep, you can blast stuff now! Well, at least as long as you don't make the Goldfish sad. Then the nightmares turn up to 11.

Plus, there are the conspiracy theorists and religious weirdos who constantly try to involve you in their nonsense. "The Goldfish will usher in a new era of terror after it devours the Gawds." The Goldfish could be an inexhaustible food source." "The Goldfish is responsible for my grandmothers gout." You generally eldritch blast the lot f them.

At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Warlock spell. The following spells are added to the Warlock spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Earth Tremor, Thunderwave
2nd: Calm Emotions, Enlarge/Reduce
3rd: Wall of Water, Water Breathing
4th: Control Water, Freedom of Movement
5th: Antilife Shell, Maelstrom

At 1st Level, as an Action, choose a number of creatures within 30 feet of you equal to your Proficiency Bonus. These creatures must make a Wisdom saving throw against your warlock spell save DC. The creatures that fail their saving throws are all frightened of you until the end of your next turn.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

At 1st Level, you gain a minimum Swim speed of 40 feet, and can breathe both air and water. If you already have a Swim speed of 40 feet or more, it increases by +10 feet.

At 6th Level you can speak Primordial. In addition, when you are fully submerged, any creature that is also fully submerged can understand your speech, and you can understand theirs. You have Advantage on Charisma (Persuasion) Checks made against water elementals.

At 6th Level you now frighten creatures for 1 Minute, and on each of their turns they must move a minimum of 20 feet away from you. Each target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success.

At 10th Level, you gain immunity to the Frightened, Grappled, Prone and Restrained conditions.

At 14th Level, you can become Gargantuan in Size for 1 Minute as a Bonus Action. You may do this once per long rest. During this time you have both Proficiency and Advantage on Strength and Constitution Saving Throws. Your attacks do an extra 3d8 damage, and your unarmed strikes and weapon attacks have a range of 10 feet (15 if the weapon has the Reach property). Your attacks use your spellcasting ability modifier for attack and damage rolls. Your movement speeds all increase by +10 feet. You gain temporary hit points equal to twice your Warlock Level, and a bonus to your Armor Class equal to your Proficiency Bonus.

Credit to Bhu on rpg.net

From rpg.net. Credit to Bhu

Guppymancers summon astral guppies. Or something. They may be Fey or some sort of extra-dimensional critter, but whatever they are, they're well known for their singing. Each fish the Guppymancer summons sings a different song, and each song is helpful in it's own way. Plus the fish have other benefits, and their whimsical nature makes pranks or subterfuge easy. Now if you can just convince them that when it comes to conversation, everything has a time and a place. When trying to sneak past a Beholder, it is not the time for the fish to suddenly roll up on it and scream "BOOPED YOUR LITTLE NOSE!"

Starting at 1st level, you learn additional spells when you reach certain levels in this class, as shown on the Guppymancy Spells table. Each of these spells counts as a sorcerer spell for you, but it doesn't count against the number of sorcerer spells you know.

Whenever you gain a sorcerer level, you can replace one spell you gained from this feature with another spell of the same level. The new spell must be a abjuration or an enchantment spell from the bard, warlock, or wizard spell list.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Dissonant Whispers, Tasha's Hideous Laughter
3rd: Calm Emotions, Enthrall
5th: Mass Healing Word, Sending
7th: Compulsion, Freedom of Movement
9th: Dream, Mislead

At 1st Level, whenever you cast an Abjuration spell, a magical field of force in the form of a goldfish bowl appears over you're head. It lasts for the maximum duration of the spell you cast, and casting further spells doesn't always prolong the force bubble. For example, if your spell has a duration of 8 Hours, the bubble lasts 8 hours, and unless a spell is cast that extends the duration further than the time you have left when you cast the spell, it has no effect. For example if you have 4 hours left, casting a 1 Hour spell does nothing. If you have a Minute left, and cast a 1 Hour spell, your bubble lasts an hour from the casting of that spell. If the spell has a duration of Concentration, the bubble still lasts for the maximum possible duration of that spell.

At 6th Level, whenever you cast a spell, you summon 1d3 Mystic Guppies. The Guppies appear in an unoccupied spaces of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of you.

The Guppies are friendly to you and your companions and obey your commands. See this creature's game statistics in the Mystic Guppy stat block, which uses your proficiency bonus (PB) in several places.

In combat, the Guppies share your initiative count, but they take their turn immediately after yours. The only action they take on their turn is the Dodge action, unless you take a bonus action on your turn to command one to take another action. That action can be one in its stat block or some other action. If you are incapacitated, the Guppies can take any action of their choice, not just Dodge.

The Guppies manifest for 1 Minute, until they are reduced to 0 hit points, or until you die. The maximum number of Guppies you can have in existence at any one time is equal to your Proficiency Bonus plus one.

Mystic Guppy
Small Monstrosity
Armor Class: 10 + PB
Hit Points: 4 + two times your sorcerer level
Speed: Fly 30 ft
Str: 3
Dex: 16
Con: 10
Int: 11
Wis: 14
Cha: 14
Senses: Darkvision 60 ft., passive perception 12
Languages: Common, Primordial
Proficiency Bonus: equals your bonus
Anaerobic. The guppy doesn't need to breath.
Flyby. The guppy doesn’t provoke opportunity attacks when it flies out of an enemy’s reach.
Sing. Ranged Spell Attack: your spell attack modifier to hit, reach 10/30 ft., one target. Hit: (1d6 + PB) psychic damage.

At 14th Level, whenever you cast a spell you may cast it from your location, or the location of one of your Mystic Guppies. As A Bonus Action, you may switch spaces with any of your fish.

At 18th, whenever you cast a spell with a verbal component, the fishes can sing along without using an Action. Each fish sings a different song, so only one can sing with you at a time. Each Fish may sing once per Long Rest. If the Fish sings, you may use any one Metamagic Option you know for free (it must normally cost no more than one sorcery point), and if the target is withing rnage it also suffers the fishes Sing attack as well.

Credit to Bhu on rpg.net

Dire Goldfish
Extra Super Biggie Size Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 400d10+9200 (11400 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 81 (-16 Size, -1 Dex, +88 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 81
Base Attack/Grapple: +404/+470
Attack: Nibble +423 melee (4d6+72/19-20)
Full Attack: Nibble +423 melee (4d6+72/19-20)
Space/Reach: 200 ft./150 ft.
Special Attacks: Unsettling Presence, Plow
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60', Low Light Vision, Blindsense, Damage Reduction 60/-
Saves: Fort +228, Ref +207, Will +140
Abilities: Str 80, Dex 8, Con 50, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 25
Skills: Listen +137, Spot +137, Swim +177
Feats: Alertness, Cleave, Close-Quarters Fighting, Cumbrous Fortitude, Cumbrous Reflexes, Cumbrous Will, Damage Reduction (x20), Danger Sense, Devastating Critical (Nibble), Diehard, Endurance, Epic Fortitude, Epic Prowess (x4), Epic Reflexes, Epic Toughness (x 40), Epic Will, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Nibble), Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Armor (x41), Improved Snatch, Multisnatch, Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Overwhelming Critical (Nibble), Power Attack, Power Critical (Nibble), Shock Trooper, Snatch, Swim-By Attack, Weapon Focus (Nibble)
Environment: Elemental Plane of Water
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: not applicable
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 401+ HD (Extra Collosal)
Level Adjustment: ---

"HOLY S___!"

Goldfish collectors know that the larger the bowl you put your goldfish in the bigger it will grow. Someone had the bright idea of taking one to the Plane of Elemental Water to see just how big one could get over time. Bad idea as it turns out. The Dire Goldfish appears to be effectively Immortal. It doesn't age, it does eat, but it doesn't appear to need to.

Plow (Ex): The Dire Goldfish rarely cares about smaller life forms and will just swim through them. Effectively it makes it's full movement, and does a Bull Rush against every creature whose square it enters. They also have to make a DC 246 Reflex Save or take 8d8 damage. They take half damage if they save successfully. For purposes of the Plow the Dire Goldfish is 2 Size categories larger than Colossal. Opponents do not gain attacks of opportunity and cannot stop the Goldfishes movement unless they are at least Colossal size.

Unsettling Presence (Ex): Anything within 1 mile of the Dire Goldfish must make a Willpower Save (DC 217) or be Panicked for 2d6 rounds. If they succeed they are instead Frightened for 2d6 rounds. Save DC is Charisma based.

Immortal (Ex): The Dire Goldfish doesn't need to eat, sleep, breathe, and doesn't age. It is immune to sleep/aging/death effects, disease, poison, mind affecting effects (including Fear and Morale).

Combat: The Dire Goldfish rarely initiates combat unless it is really hungry. At which point it just nibbles away on whatever's biggest and closest. Make sure your faster than other members of the party and it's all good.

Nick Cage is unstopabble!

A fellow poster on rpg.net made this when they were inspired by the Frog Council meme picture. Here it is. :)

THE FROG COUNCIL (Warlock Patron)
For whatever reason you've been interested in justice for the otherwise helpless all your life. Your adventures brought you to the attention of the Frog Council, a collection of mystical, froglike entities who sit in judgement of the immoral. Not that they have any official legal power in most places, nor do they give a darn. If you seem guilty of something in their eyes, you get judged. They have now empowered you as an agent of that justice, bent to enforcing their will. You bring evil-doers to their attention, and punish those they judge. In return, you get certain...abilities.

At 1st Level you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a Warlock spell. The following spells are added to the Warlock spell list for you.

Spell Level Spells
1st: Hunters Mark, Sanctuary
2nd: Detect Thoughts, Zone of Truth
3rd: Karmic Backlash*, Sending
4th: Locate Creature, Otiluke's Resilient Sphere
5th: Geas, Legend Lore

At 1st Level, you can magically tattoo a miscreant with your patented Mark of Justice! You can do this as a Bonus Action, and the target must be within 30 feet of you, and you must be able to see them. This Mark can only be gotten rid of by getting a favorable Judgement from the Frog Council, do a successful mission of atonement for them, or be the recipient of a Remove Curse, Dispel Evil or Good or Wish spell. Anyone can see the Mark, and they will know that the Frog Council considers them a potential bad guy. Other servants of the Frog Council can see a message of up to 10 words that you can decide to include as part of the design. You can Mark as many people as you want, and while they are marked you always know their location so long as they are within 1000 feet of you (this negates Invisibility or other Illusions that would conceal the target)). This increases t0 1 Mile at 5th Level, and at 10th Level you can sense them wherever they are, even if not on the same plane of existence. Note that the player should not mark anyone who has not committed a crime, or at least performed a very immoral act, because it risks angering his patron. The exact effects of that are up to the DM. If the PC thinks about marking the other players as a means of tracking them, keep in mind at some point the Council will judge them, and if they look at the PC and tell him "Sorry, your buddy has to go, you can do it or we can", then they mean that. Spells like Nondetection or Mind Blank will temporarily suppress the tracking effect.

At 1st Level, you can re-roll any failed Saving Throw once per short rest.

At 6th you can do extra damage against those you have Marked. Any time you damage a target that is Marked, (or by another creature with this subclass) you can do an additional 1d6 Frog Damage. Frog Damage is a sort of wet, flubbery damage that has no known ability to provide Resistance or Immunity to it. Additionally, all attacks you make use your Charisma instead of Strength or Dexterity, and are considered magical for purposes of overcoming damage resistance/immunity.

At 10th you gain abilities that assist in your mission of veng.. er, justice. If you successfully damage an opponent who is Marked (by you or anyone else), you may opt to forego the extra Frog damage to force it to make a Charisma Saving Throw or be Restrained for 1 Minute. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success. Multiple successful damaging attacks or spells in one round do not stack the duration. You may use the Restrained ability a maximum of one time per target, per turn. For example if you cast Eldritch Blast at 11th Level, you can attack one target with three beams, or three targets with one beam each. If you opt to hit one target, you can potentially Restrain it for 1 round. If you opt to hit three Marked opponents, you can restrain all three of them 1 round.

At 14th Level, you can ask the Council to render a decision on a target you have Marked as an Action. You make a Charisma (Persuasion) Check, and if you make a DC of 15, you convince them of his guilt. From there on, he will be haunted by the Frog Council, and take 1d8 Frog damage ANY TIME they take damage (this stacks with Power of the Frog). Your target trips and falls? A frog dashes in from nowhere to drop the elbow. The party Monk Stuns the target? He takes a flying tongue to the eye. You give the target a blow to the knees? A hundred frogs pour from the bushes or drop from the sky and cooperate to suplex him. The Frog Council will inform the target of their Judgement, and how they may atone before they begin laying down the pain. This affect can only be gotten rid of by getting a favorable Judgement from the Frog Council, do a successful mission of atonement for them, or be the recipient of a Remove Curse, Dispel Evil or Good or Wish spell. The Frog Council will not intervene to to damage more often than a number of times per long rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus. This curse lasts after death as well. If the Council judges the target has not suffered sufficiently for his acts in life, his ghost will still take the extra Frog damage as little ghost frogs will yeet themselves at his face to unleash an unholy ribbit of painful justice.

Karmic Backlash
3rd Level Abjuration
Casting Time: 1 Reaction, which you take when you are hit by an attack
Range: Self (20 foot radius)
Components: V
Duration: 1 Minute
For the duration of the spell, any creature that successfully attacks you must make a Wisdom Save, or be Stunned 1 round.

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Looks like they are going full Cocaine Bear with it.

Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4d10+8 (30 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 60 ft. (12 squares), Swim 10 ft.
Armor Class: 16 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+1
Attack: Nip +5 melee (1d4+1 plus A World of Pain)
Full Attack: Nip +5 melee (1d4+1 plus A World of Pain)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Sea of Tranquility, A World of Pain
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Hold Breath, Scent
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills: Hide +9 (+13 in water), Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +10
Feats: Dodge, Mobility
Environment: Warm Forest, Plains or Marsh
Organization: Solitary, Pair, Clan (10-100)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 5-6 HD (Small), 7-12 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment: ---

Cap-bee-aras resemble black and gold striped Capybaras with bee eyes and cute, little, fluffy deely-bobber antennaes. They live in extended families, and generally maintain peace and tranquility in their territories. They are effectively a scourge for those who reign by violence. And occasionally even others (because sometimes you need a little violence).

Sea of Tranquility (Su): A Cap-bee-ara radiates calm in a radius of 60 feet. Any creature making an attack other than a Cap-bee-ara that wishes to cause harm to another while in this radius must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha based). If it fails, it cannot use spells, attacks or abilities that cause damage or inflict conditions. This lasts until it leaves the area of effect, or the target itself is attacked.

A World of Pain (Su): Targets bitten by a Cap-bee-ara suffer wracking pains that impose a -4 penalty on attack rolls, skill checks, and ability checks if they fail a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha based). This lasts for 1 Minute, while the Cap-bee-ara escapes.

Hold Breath (Ex): A Cap-bee-ara can hold its breath for a number of rounds equal to 4 × its Constitution score before it risks drowning.

Hivemind (Ex): All Cap-bee-aras within 50 miles of their queen are in constant communication. If one is aware of a particular danger, they all are. If one in a group is not flat-footed, none of them are. No Cap-bee-ara in a group is considered flanked unless all of them are.

Skills: A Cap-bee-ara has a +8 racial bonus on any Swim check to perform some special action or avoid a hazard. It can always choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered. It can use the run action while swimming, provided it swims in a straight line. *A Cap-bee-ara gains a +4 racial bonus on Hide checks when in the water. Further, a Cap-bee-ara can lie in the water with only its eyes and nostrils showing, gaining a +10 cover bonus on Hide checks.

Combat: Cap-bee-aras aren't fools. they know better than to attack anyone who is affected by their aura. But anyone who resists it, and attempts to harm them enters A World of Pain.

"Heads up Harlan, there are some rodents of an unusual size incoming."

Harbingers of Peace and Quiet

"They're very bee-like for rodents."

"Those are the Cap-bee-aras!"


"Sorry, I forget how scary and sudden I can be. Names Tim. What are you doing out this far?"

"We're looking for Sodoff Village."

But Do NOT Anger Them

"We have a situation we need to discuss."

"Yer bein' chased by the cult arent'cha?"

"Does everyone know the existence of this thing?"

"And yet no one has any details..."

"Oh we got details. We're all former members."

April 28th

In this house.

Independant, Low budget, experimental horror movie. CW for endangered children.

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Chainsaw Bear
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 8d810+40 (84 hp)
Initiative: +41
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+21
Attack: Chainsaw +16 melee (2d6+9)
Full Attack: 2 Chainsaws +16 melee (2d6+9) and 1 Bite +11 melee (2d8+4)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Chainsaw Bear!
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, DR 10/-
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 28, Dex 13, Con 20, Int 6, Wis 12, Cha 13
Skills: Hide +0, Intimidate +3, Listen +4, Spot +4, Swim +9
Feats: Endurance, Power Attack, Track
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Family (3-4)
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 9-13 HD (Large), 14-27 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner, you feel like we're bein' watched?"

"That I do."


This is a large brown bear that stands on it's hind legs, that has chainsaws for hands. Their eyes tend to glow red. I'd go into it's origin, but we all know a Wizard did it. Probably while under the influence. Chainsaw Bears speak Common, and usually have a pretty dark sense of humor.

Chainsaw Bear! (Ex): The Chainsaw Bear may activate it's chainsaws as a Swift Action. When activated, the saws make so much noise that the Chainsaw Bear automatically fail all Hide and Move Silently Checks, and the chainsaws threaten a critical on a natural 18-20. It also gains a +2 Circumstance Bonus to Intimidate Checks. If the Chainsaw Bear makes a Sunder Attack while it's saws are activated, it is considered to have the Improved Sunder Feat.

Combat: Chainsaw Bears like to surprise people before whacking them with their saws.

Nick Cage as the bad guy

King of Beautiful Game passes on.

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December 9th. Get ready to make your very own Boatmurdered.

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One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater
Small Aberration
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Good)
Armor Class: 17 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+4
Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d3+5)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +9 melee (1d3+5) and 1 Bite +4 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Bard Abilities
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft.
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +6
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 16
Skills: Balance +10, Climb +10, Intimidate +10, Knowledge (Geography) +6, Perform (Horn) +11
Feats: Fly-by Attack, Hover
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement: By Character Class (usually Bard)
Level Adjustment: ---

OEOHFPPE's are strange alien beings that have an affinity for music, and seem to be anthropophagous in regards to a race or purple skinned humanoids. Rarely seen, they are described as having a growth on their head similar to a horn like instrument, large fangs and claws, pointed nose and ears, and their feet are pigeon toed. Much of their culture that doesn't involve eating purple people revolves around music. They appear to understand and speak Common.

Bard Abilities: OEOHFPPE's may use Bardic Music as if they had levels in Bard equal to their Hit Dice. If they later take levels in Bard these stack with their Hit Dice for purposes of determining their abilities.

Combat: OEOHFPPE's tend to use their Bard abilities if they have the option. Otherwise they just fly in and use tooth and claw. They tend to be less spectacular tacticians and more crazed flailing types when it comes to melee.

This Monday, the BCS/BB universe comes to a close.

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I know there are stats for a Bunyip already, but how about one based on the old show Dot and the Kangaroo? It certainly looks to have a humanoid form


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From another forum I visit. :)

Cash Cow
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4d8+16 (34 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 Size, +8 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+13
Attack: Butt +8 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack: Butt +8 melee (1d8+7)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Stampede, Trample (2d6+7)
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft., Scent, Valuable, DR 5/Adamantine
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 10, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +6, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary or Herd (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: See text
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 5-6 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...that cow's hide looks ta be made o' Platinum..."

Cash Cows appear to be regular cattle whose hide has a somewhat metallic sheen. When killed they may are usually dissected, as many of their organs are precious metals. It's uncertain exactly how they came about, but an insane mage is assumed to be the case as usual. Someone wanted cattle that could eat earth and raw ore and poop refined metals. He got it, but in the process they convert so much of the stuff that their insides slowly become metal. They are the same size as normal cattle but weigh twice as much.

Stampede (Ex): A frightened herd of Cash Cattle run in a random direction, literally running over anything Large or smaller. Anything in their path takes 1d12 damage for every 5 cattle in the herd (Reflex Save DC 17 for half damage, Save DC is Strength based).

Trample (Ex): Reflex Save DC 17 for half damage (Save DC is Strength based)

Valuable (Ex): Cash Cattle are pretty much inedible, and so is their milk. However if fed raw ore they can 'refine' it into a purified state (a full grown cow can 'process' 2 pounds of raw ore per day). Fully mature cattle are worth about 5 GP per pound (and weigh up to 2000 pounds) dead, but quite a bit more alive.

Combat: Preeetty much the same as your standard cow really...

When you need more than a comet

Piggybacking off of Don't Look Up?

At 85

Nick Cage stars as Nick Cage

An old cartoon I saw and remembered had this toothy bird in it. Perhaps it would make a good low-level threat?

I don't know how many people have watched The Dead Center but the demon/entity in it has a rather interesting spin/flavor of it's attacks that makes me wonder how it would work in Pathfinder? Any ideas?


So in the 1st edition Kaer Maga book, there was a 'Child Goddess' who lived in the city and actually had followers that could cast divine spells. Now that things have moved along, can we get more info on her and if she is in fact a deity living in the city?

Don't get between a man and his pig

Looks like The White Walkers have found new jobs


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Rorschach's Journal
December 2nd, 1985

Dr. Manhatten may have never attempted to kill me, he knows what he's doing. Woke up and found I was in a city ruined by bombs. Walked around for two hours. Robots fired at me. They look like people. I ran, found cover. More people showed up, soldiers who destoryed the robots. Their leader spoke to me, he says his name is John Connor.

I asked him about New York, he told me it was 2019. He had no idea about Veidt's plan. I'm in another dimension, obviously.

Was about to tell him my story when a light flashed, I got torn up again. Woke up in familiar New York. In this New York masks exist but they are not liked. There is one that glides through the air, they call him Spider-man. I will speak to him.

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[Emphatic assertion]

[Same assertion in different phrasing]

[Invitation for others to join in]

[But it's not a flame]

Any old timers remember the game Spottle? It is played in game by using a Spottle Toad/Frog and the players roll dice. On certain rolls, the Spottle Toad would eat the dice. Any ideas on how to replicate it and stats for the toad?

So there is an Escape Room style demon for RE8 out. The graphics look pretty good and of course, the memes about 'Tall Lady' are all over the place.

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He isn't locked in with them..

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Since there is a lot of fire in the western states, let us make this a place where we can get in touch with each other and give a heads up on who is safe or had to move.


That is a lot of D-Listers

My guess for survivors?

Harley(of course)
One schmuk (rooting for Polkadot Man)

Betting on TDK being Batman (The Dark Knight) keeping an eye on everything.

Now, I don't want to go linking videos since they are rather traumatic, but at a fireworks factory there was an explosion that had a second explosion that sent a shockwave out that smashed the fronts f buildings. Devestating.

No actual obituary yet, but I have seen on facebook that Jim Holloway, longtime artist for Dragon,Paranoia and other systems has passed.

Phantom was the last newspaper comic I was reading since everything else were zombies or reprints and I stopped after the story where it seemed Diana had died and just
let it go.
However, I have glanced at the comic section again and I noticed that Phantom has been going on some hallucinogenic dream journey where he is being chewed out by a previous Phantom for sending his son away.
The Phantom's legend of 'The Man Who Does Not Die' is based on the title(and purple speedo) being passed down to their son when they conveniently die when the son comes of age. The current Phantom has twins, Kit(Boy) and Heliose(Girl) and It has been brought up before about who might become the new Phantom and if in fact the legend will change.
Now both children have become adults since time passes in the comic and I must wonder, is the time of the comic coming to an end? Will there be a new Phantom and will it remain the same?

Since the Shadowcurse has ended officially, did Paizo decide just how it was done?

4 Person band of adventurers?
Thrune eliminating Ilnerik?
Glorious Reclamation when they rolled in?

Due to bone cancer.

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I saw this on rpg.net about how the gods would be if things were changed around and this
popped up, might be an interesting take on things.

Abadar: Chaotic Neutral God of Crime, urban decay, anarchy, and riots. Abadar personifies the chaotic aspects of cities and commerce. He is the patron of Crime bosses, corrupt cops and politicians, anarchists, the homeless and disenfranchised, and also worshiped by urban dwelling monsters such as Wererats and Goblins. Abadar plays all these forces against one another in a chaotic dance of chaos and destruction, defying the idea of cities as bastions of order and stability.

Asmodeus: Chaotic good God of freedom, trickery, and poetic justice. This Asmodeus is more of a dark byronic anti hero or a Loki figure. He's the trouble maker of the Gods. A silver tongued scamp who loved bringing the proud and cruel down with his mischief. Many a tyrant or warlord has been ruined by Asmodeus in disguise.

Callistra: Lawful Neutral Goddess of courtly love, Justice, and knowledge. The Goddess of the Elves here is a noble princess who encourages her elves to become chivalrous knights and pledge themselves to their queen priests, like a soldier bee protecting their hive (this version of Callistra favors honey bees over wasps), rather than seeking vengeance, Callisrtran priestesses seek to use the legal system to mete out justice against those who wrong the common man, and Callistran priestesses frequently become senators and judges (While also pushing for the decriminalization of sex workers, since Callistra is still a sex positive Goddess).

Cayden Calien: Lawful evil God of Tyranny, bullies, and drinking: In his mortal life Cayden was a warlord and abusive bully, who barged into the test of the starstone blind drunk and murdered someone else who was about to complete it. He is now the patron of tyrants, bullies and anyone who uses fear and force to force others to serve them. Calien also encourages his followers to drink heavily, to numb themselves to the feelings of others, and to feed their rage and anger.

Desna: Lawful evil Goddess of Nightmares, the sky, and spies. Desna's eyes are everywhere. Every star in the sky, every butterfly on the wind, are her eyes and ears. Eternally paranoid, Desna spreads this paranoia to others through their dreams, poisoning newlyweds with fear of infedility, destroying families, and driving noble kings to become brutal tyrants.

Erastil: Chaotic evil God of the Wilderness, beasts, and the patriarchy. Erastil claims isolated wildernesses as his domain, where his followers found isolated communities and communes cut off from the rest of the world. Here the only rule is might makes right, and the rule of man is above all. These communes often enslave and abuse woman, whom Erasitl see's as inferior, and also prey on local demihumans and communities. Lycanthropy is common among Erastil worshipers and is considered a mark of his favor.

Gorum: Lawful Neutral God of War. This version of Gorum is more like a Athena in that he embodies the more chivalrous and tactic oriented aspects of War. A born diplomat and orator, Gorum prefers to turn his enemies with wisdom and impassioned words than with violence. However when push comes to shove he is able to fight when he has to, and is a gifted strategist and a mighty warrior in his own right.

Gozreh: Neutral deity, so they're the same. Only difference is the water form is male and the Earth form is female.

Iomedae: Chaotic Evil Goddess of Warlords, Antipaladins and injustice. One of the most notorious villains in the history of the Inner Sea, Iomedae rampaged and pillaged across the land for years, eventually though the thrill of slaughter and destruction was not enough for her, and she sought greater power, taking the test of the starstone and becoming a Goddess. Iomedae teaches that the only thing that matters is victory, no matter the cost or what dirty trick you need to pull.

Irori: Chaotic Neutral God of anarchy, personal freedom, and perfection. Irori teaches that the only true path to perfection is to live free. Free of society, free of rule by anyone. He teaches that government, rulers, kings, laws, are all chains which restrain people from finding their full potential, and that these structures must be torn down by any means so that people can find their own path.

Nethys: neutral deity. Again no real change here.

Lamashtu; Lawful Good Goddess of childbirth, dreams and deformity. While monstrous looking, Lamashtu has the biggest heart of any deity, and considers all beings her children. Mothers pray to Lamashtu for healthy births, and mothers of children whose children are born different that their children will be accepted and loved. Lamashtu's clerics were often born with some sort of birth defect, which they consider a sign of their future calling, and teach that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of how they look.

Norgorber: Neutral God of Thievery, secrets, and righteous assassination. Secretive Norgorber is the patron of freedom fighters, underground railroads, and assassins who seek to unseat tyrants. The taking of a life is never an easy thing to do, but Norgorber believes that some people just make the world a worse place by their presence, and that their removal would be a net good for the world. Mistrusted even by good aligned communities, clerics of Norgorber prize secrecy over all.

Pharasma: Neutral Goddess, pretty much the same.

Rovagug: Lawful Good God of destruction. Creation and destruction go hand in hand. So it falls upon Rovagug to clear out the old. Like his brother Groteus Rovagug is the put upon demolition crew of the Gods, charged with the duty of destroying dead worlds or worlds too far gone to save. Despite this grisly work Rovagug is not without pity, and often sends emmisaries to inhabited worlds slated for destruction to get their people to safety or prepare them for their impending doom. Rovagug is presently on a cosmic break, taking a nap in the center of Golarion.

Sarenrae: Neutral Evil Goddess of corruption and the sun: Radiant as the sun, and just as dangerous to look at, Sarenrae is the eternal queen of Hell, an endless corrupter and schemer who embodies the destruction aspects of the sun and fire. It is said no mortal has ever interacted with Sarenrae and not been corrupted.

Shelyn: Neutral evil Goddess of Beauty, lust, and bigotry, Cruel, vain and petty, Shelyn is as evil as she is beautiful, and she cannot abide the existence of ugliness, so she bids her minions go forth and murder any race she deems "Ugly": Dwarves, Orcs, Goblins, basically anything except humans and elves.(And some gnomes).

Torag: Chaotic Evil God of the Dwarves: When Torag created the Dwarves, he gave them orders to wait for a sign to begin their quest for sky, which would be a sign that the surface folk would be at their weakest, and ripe for conquest. Thankfully for the surface race, the Dwarves ancient blood enemies the Orcs followed them to the surface, and worked to stymie their plans for conquest. Torag grows increasingly frustrated with the Dwarves inability to conquer the surface world, and may eventually abandon them for a new creation.

Urgathoa: Neutral Good Goddess of Gluttony and undeath. When Urgathoa stood in line to be judged by Pharasma, she missed the passions of the mortal world and so snuck away to spend one more night among the living enjoying the pleasures of life. This so bemused Pharasma she decided to give Urgathoa the task of shepheding those who had died but aren't really ready to go yet. Urgathoa's priests often work as exorcists, hospice workers, midwives, and so forth. There are also numerous holiday's and festivals where Urgathoa allows the spirits of the dead to come visit family members.

Zon Kuthon: Chaotic Good God of Darkness, Sorrow, and liberation. Shelyn's twin brother, Shleyn frequently abused and belittled Zon Kuthon, eventually imprisoning him in the demiplane of shadow. Zon Kuhton eventually escaped, and became the somber deity of darkness and sorrow, He is also the God of liberation, in particular sexual liberation. So long as its between consenting adults, its cool with Zon Kuthon, and his clerics often run BDSM clubs and high class brothels.

Well the CATS movie is out and boy oh boy is it getting savaged. Some of the more amusing reviews are using cursing so I can't post them here but this movie is actually gettinga 'patch' to it's CGI due to mistakes

So with Dark Crystal:Age of Resistance, has anyone tried their hand on creating Skesis,Uru,Gelflings and Podlings? Perhaps Gleflings and Podlings managed to flee through a magical gate created by Aughra and ended up on Golorian

Bit late posting this, but in Maine, PBS has a series on country music for those who are fans. I
don't know if this is shown out of Maine but worth a look for those who can get past episodes by streaming or whatever

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