First of all, good ideas everyone, somethings I hadn't even considered, but alas, here's how it unfolds.
Weird Al lures Dennis Hastert into a bear's den, then probably sets up a Twitter account for Lady Gaga, where he then strangles her with his hair.
Meanwhile Ted and Vince team up and leave a couch sitting next to a life sized cut out of Oprah [Initiating high five] an exhausted and bloody Toby McGuire is then no match, and falls quickly. At which point Ted stabs Vince in the chest because there can be only one washed up 80s rocker on reality television.
So, now we're down to Jaleel White and Ted, who is clearly no match for the ninja actor awesomeness of post Urkel Jaleel, the dude is everywhere, but you never notice.
So clearly, Urkel goes all Ice-T on that b~#*~*~ crazy piece of s#+# and strings him up in some forgotten gorge, or whatever he did at the end of that movie.