Right you are GM! :)
Do we want to Sense Motive/Wisdom: Perception on this guy to see if he is an enemy of our contacts? Otherwise let's just jump into the meeting...
Ehrm, Rasp did ask about them in the post on the top of this page…
Kemek is momentarily raken aback by Uruk's question.
"That is indeed a good question. I hadn't thought of that at all."
Kemek churns over this most perplexing and important decision. He looks out the window, then at the assembled personages.
"I think today I would like to look upon the agency of people. I am accustomed to Lathander's world. It is the function of society I need to examine and learn from. Thank you Uruk, please face me toward the bar."
"Is that a usual greeting among half-orcs? I notice Uruk did not also send the same greeting."
Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 1 = 21
Kemek notices the strange dichotomy of revelry and tension, baked goods and barred glances. He has no idea what to make of it all specifically, but his naiveté actually helps him to understand that there is something very wrong with this society. As if his innate childishness and inability to parse nuances frees him from the background noise of the combat of individual sounds, smells and social mores, to see the vibration pattern prevalent in the whole.
Just like he can't help noticing the figure in the corner. Kemek almost gasps in wonder at the workmanship of the armor and blade.
"I say - that fellow in the shadows. What an amazing blade he has. What fantabulous workmanship! And that armor. With all the iron that there doesn't seem to be around here, he certainly has amassed a goodly amount of it." All in Kemek's signature strange, and, unfortunately, loud and honest voice.
Kemek does not know what to think. He understands that something has been settled, but not exactly how. He peers at the merchant, visibly straining so much so that the staff begins to twist in Uruk's grip.
"What an odd occurrence. Surely the merchant would instantly recognise his own pouch by its shape, leather, color and drawstring?" he muses, rather too loudly for Uruk's comfort. Thinking further the gonds-headstaff seems to warm to the subject.
"Perhaps the merchant is rather addled in the brain, an idiot of some kind, or perhaps non-perceptive; forgetful; or, taking an, ahem, leaf from nature's storehouse of information - perhaps the merchant and the halfling are part of a collective we have not detected - their disagreement merely a ruse, a prop in some predatory enterprise we have only now just entered. Uruk?"
Kemek, completely oblivious to other folk perceptions of him as a botano-mechanical head on a gnarled staff, eyes the counting:
Wisdom: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17
Great call Qorin!
According to the playtest documents, a gondsman-head-on-a-magic-staff is only usable as a magic focus by a caster of the same type as the gondsman-head-on-a-magic-staff. This may be updated in the PHB when it drops in August for $49.99
As they travel, Kemek keeps Uruk apprised of all manner of small scurryings and a smattering else of useless tidbits regarding shifts in temperature, micro-climatic pressure drops and the nomenclature battles between those that classified the rare woodlouse by its relations to the common louse and those that rather identified it by a contra-indicated lineage that drew parallels with horseshoe crabs. Which all mostly resulted in Uruk having to grit his teeth and thank Kemek to keep a sharper eye and more closed mouth. Which Kemek promptly did. Momentarily.
Upon arrival at the fortified Inn, Kemek views the new locale with keen interest. He takes in the scene, then seems to blink as he hears Ridel's comment. He looks to his body pieces in undisguised alarm.
"Please have a care with my…extremities! It would not do to have the smallish personage make off with my knees or similar…"
What do you think. Head-ing to the Inn. Of course. Sheesh. C'mon Uruk, what am I, a glorified crutch? That is lame. Oops. Sorry. ;)
A crippled Half-Orc and a bodiless Gondsman... enter... a bar.
Completely missing Uruk's pointed reference to his maul, Kemek looks down at himself, wondering just which balance Uruk might mean. He realizes that with no legs, and little control over himself below the neck, he can't balance at all; and his mental state certainly feels a little askew. Brain whirring and circuits engaging, he moves on to current events.
"Are we leaving then? These goblins might have more information regarding the recent occupant of this cell. Or perhaps have a leader more intelligent, or intelligible than these minions we have met so far." He thinks for a moment.
"Though, perhaps they are not so interested in conversing with us, given recent events."
Kemek's head seems to pulse slightly as it "docks" with the staff. His eyes roll up into their sockets and a faint cooing sound emanates. There is a moment of peace, as if Kemek has returned to some sort of soul-home. Then, he awakes, light emitting from his eyes, nose, mouth and neck.
"Gaaaaaaaaah!??!?!?!?" he shouts, before returning to a state of calm. His curious and intelligent eyes remain open, but the holy light has disappeared.
"Whaaa! Oh. Herm, well that is an unusual feeling. I can still feel my… toes. I think. Yes, definitely my toes. Funny. They aren't wiggling. Well, this is different." The gondstaff closes his eyes, then reopens them.
"It seems as though Lathander has seen fit to restore me to some manner of functionality. I can create light. Perhaps in time I may find other uses for this staff. And head. Please do not use me as a maul or other weapon, kind Uruk."
He looks around, seemingly unfazed by his non-locomotive and non-manipulative state.
"So. Goblins about? I do not feel I have the capacity to cast the offensive spells I had formerly. This is somewhat distressing. However, I am not dead. That is…welcome."
Run with it Uruk. Kemek is in your…hands. ;)
The gondsman'd head rocks lightly before the eyes flicker open. With vague semi-focused eyes, Kemek peers at Uruk.
"Qorig - ish that you? Ah. Urukh. My thags to you." The eyes focus, and Kemek takes in the ruin of his body, the ichor weeping on the floor, before settling on his staff. He takes a great big sniff, and an unewholesome blop of ooze slides out of his mouth. The head sighs and breathes more clearly.
"I am unsure. I have never disassembled like this before. Did I disgrace myself?"
"Perhaps if you place...me... atop the staff... placing it where my body previously sat I may be able to draw Lathander's divine power through that."
Seeing the groveling goblins, and paying no attention to the fleeing human, Kemek's head rattles in Uruk's hand.
"Rip their heads off!" screams the severed head in an almost incoherent and uncharacteristically bloodthirsty manner. Then it looks up at Uruk, almost ashamed.
"Sorry. Ahem. Right. Any chance you can locate my staff? I'm sure I left it lying around here somewhere."
It looks at it's own body disconcertingly.
Kemek's head attempts to roll toward his body with little effect. It sighs, before trying again.
Seeing Rasp stab the goblin clean through, Kemek's head almost shouts out something congratulatory to the scarred valiant, then quickly looks at the dread enemy and thinks better of it.
Well done, brave Rasp! Kemek thinks to himself.
Evaluating his position and apparent vulnerability, Kemek's head attempts to hide, by…staying still and acting like a.. quite still decapitated head. He closes his eyes to aid this "moast excellent" subterfuge.
Stealth: 1d20 ⇒ 16
Not sure what stat modifier's Kemek's head has if any, nor what bonuses he might have for size. ;)
Kemek's head gasps as he recognises the dire human that slew Gorion.
Seems he has forgotten about me, or not noticed me yet... Kemek's head realises.
Perhaps playing dead is the wisest course here. he thinks without a trace of irony.
Apologies if that isn't the same big bad guy…Put it down to Kemek's head's less than lucid thinking, though it may appear that being bodiless is actually increasing his power of thought…
GM you missed my question - is Kemek's staff nearby, or down the ravine?
Kemek's head swivels in the dirt to face the combat, his eyes still bright.
"Well done Tessa!" it speaks as Tessa strikes. His dismembered body spasms, as if the cortex were still connected, then falls limp again.
"Die foul creatures! Rue the day we found you!"
GM - is Kemek's staff nearby, or did it fall down the ravine when he was beheaded?