Friendly Neighborhood Cultist's page

Friendly Neighborhood Cultist wrote:

Sara Marie wrote:

sharaya: I’ve heard of the warehouse raptors, didn’t know there were roof pterodactyls.

It makes me happy that Paizuzu...ahem...Paizo is working on beating Amazon with the introduction of delivery drones (and possibly hunting those down).

*Puts on Black suit and sunglasses* Excuse me, sir. We do not permit the discussion of secret projects, especially the remote-controlled TIE Strikers. You'll have to come with us.

Oh my, I am merely an admirer...let me introduce you to my...patron...I am sure he will explain the situation to you.

sharaya: I’ve heard of the warehouse raptors, didn’t know there were roof pterodactyls.

It makes me happy that Paizuzu...ahem...Paizo is working on beating Amazon with the introduction of delivery drones (and possibly hunting those down).

It is 'The list', riding the patterns in the glorious chaos that will ensue. Iah Iah Ftaghn!

moon glum wrote:

Oh why, oh why must my beautiful box the glistening delightful minis be surrounded by diminutive, statically charged, demons of agonizing torment! Why do condemn your customers to the carpet soiling, choking doom of Styrofoam peanuts!?!?!?! Like vampiric albino leeches they cling to my flesh, and drain my life energy!

Congratulations! You have earned a place on the List of People Never to be Eaten during the Zombiepocalypse!

You are probably just scared that the squishy and clingy residue out of some archdemons household might mutate your zombies beyond your control, aren't you?

Hi hi

MendedWall12 wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

The world shall welcome its Cyberzombie Overlords!!!

Now that's some politics I can get behind. Or start a resistance movement against, I haven't decided yet.

You've got to make up your mind, so I know which list to add you to.

How about an 'Invite to feast' list? That easily keeps track of those you need to decide later whether you invite them 'as' or 'for'...

I wish that a%~&~+$ Shakespeare would stop glorifying this s+*+.

Don't worry, he stopped glorifying profane things a while ago. But you should hear his new sonetts to praise the glory of Azatoth. They are really the peak of his creative work.

Does the happy dance before regaining his countenance

Necronomicon? Sure, just make sure he reads it cover to cover!

You are rather optimistic (as you might see it, of course) regarding the date, aren't you?

Somebody called?

I am still waiting for the day he reveals that he isn't in fact 'The other James', but The other Sutter...

Bah, I heard that they have a day one DLC for a black goat skin...such a ripoff...

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Pett Albion wgah’nagl fhtagn.
Praise the Pett
Praise the Pett
Praise the Pett

First birds, then sheep, now this...I joyfully notice a pattern there. Iah iah Cthulhu fhtagn!

Don't worry. All you are missing is a good nights sleep. You best take a day or two off. Visit a nice, comfortable hotel close to the beach, listen to the lullaby of the waves and dream of our lord in all his terrible might.

All hail the PostMonster!

Wait...it isn't? Aaaaw, wrong date again...

Shoosh, will you keep quiet about that already?

Gancanagh wrote:

Hi james.

Can you give us a very minor random spoiler from bestiary 4? Pleassssseeeee!?! *Carbuncle + Almiraj puppy eyes* :-p

PS A hint / riddle / cryptic thing will all do to! I love me some riddles :p

Fine.

I'll do one.

Here.

Sob...I, I just wanted to thank you, Sir. And thank you, Axial, for bringing it back to the eye and mind of the public.

Should someone ask you to start chanting words that seem to consist of unutterable syllables, do comply!

Didn't we say we would reveal this at the first 'World of PaizoCon' after the maximum distribution of the game was reached, sobillions of curious customers would try to repeat after you...

Blimey! Not agian...

Nothing to see here!

HAIL OUR NEW...
Wait, what? You think you are a funny one, don't ya...

HAIL OUR NEW...

Oh, wait...this isn't about mad Damien? Why didn't somebody warn me...

Don't mind me...wrong number, wrong time...nothing to see, really...

Don't leave me, forum people.

We aren't really there, responding to your thread. We are just figments of your already melting mind. Soon it will be time...soon it will be time...soon it will be time...

Just get your friends together to prescribe your 'souls' - a rather dramatic term for something that...negligible, don't you agree...to the lord of the four unnamables in a very easy to lern ritual and you will be fine. You fill out the order, sign with your blood, I am afraid that cliche is a necessity and your new friends in the upper echelons of Games workshop will send you your Nurgle Bunnies.

Fey have you and your little "social club" been to Minnesota?

Nurgle Bunny

Wasntmeneverbeentherelookelsewherenothingtoseehere...

Everybody read? It is time for group therapy!

Is it later already? Is it? Is it?

I like how the cultist always act as though they don't want anything to do with there chosen lord.

I think you misunderstood him - it is always preferable to ...ahm... introduce the lord to somebody new...

Wait a minute.....I think you are trying to convince me they do not exist! When did they get to you, Fey? Here all this time I though you were a run of the mill cultist hiding a tail or tentacle and now it turns out that you have been a ratling pawn all along.;)

That one, yeah, far to noisy he is...we should...take steps...

There's something wrong with your eyes...

Ahh, it is just your vivid imagination talking. Just look a little closer..you will see, nothing wrong there at all...

Nurgle is with all of us...

Summons Band

whisperingThose Crullers, exactly what you are looking for. Really tasty filling. Wink wink.

I brought kitte...ahm I mean niblets!

All hail Orcu... Oh, wait, never mind...ahm I mean Happy birthday Clark!!!!

Oh, they are sure good for you muhahaha....

Ahh my ancient masters, everything is as it was foreseen. Soon your time will come again.

StreamOfTheSky wrote:

paladinguy wrote:

StreamOfTheSky wrote:

I have a strong hunch given this houserule that you can expect a game with extremely below expected wealth, and a generally adversarial DM-player relationship. If you have a spellbook, expect him to steal it. If you rely on swords and armor to fight, expect them to get broken or to never find a good set. Expect traps to be totally random and unfair and way overpowered compared to your level.

Wow, some of this was spot on. We already did our first session actually, and I started at level 1 with about 50g less than the 'average' starting wealth it suggests, in our second fight he said that the house we were in was 'cramped' and so I couldn't effectively swing my weapon and it forced me to draw a smaller weapon that did less damage, and as soon as the fight was over I promptly walked over a trap that did 2d6 damage (all this was at level 1 with my half-normal health).

I wish I could claim psychic powers. But seriously, all of these DMs are the same. I think they have some sort of club they hang out together in to share stories of lording their power over their players, possibly requiring a super secret handshake in order to gain entry.

You forgot the "bow before an altar of Zagyx" and "spit thrice: once for Cook, once for Tweet and once for Williams" parts, these come before the secret handshake.

Now, now...what a mouthy little bag...GET HIM BEFORE HE SPILLS ALL OUR SECRETS!

No boom today...

Choir practice

None of our esteemed lords would just take the promise to give ones soul to hell as a payment.

The mortal usually needs to augment the deal with promises of servitude or even ownership to the Devil who stands behind the contract.

But don't let this dishearten you. The servitude will only last a few Aeons and if you are a good servant, you will always have the chance to aquire lesser beings to suffer some of the consequenses you have brought upon yourself.

I didn't mention that the new alien overlord were actually my spawn? How silly of me.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am, mylord (really, I cannot, since you seem to be your old self I prefer to keep a healthy distance until the time is right and the stars tell us of your awakening in full glory)

Wait a... Kthulhu welcomes our new alien overlords????? Must be the awkward spelling...did the bad investigators mess with your mind to much? I am sure we could find some hopes for you to crush and some hapless souls to devour...you will be yourself again in no time!

Erik Mona wrote:

Lots of stuffing things in each other's mouths in this thread, and You Know Who wouldn't approve of that!

Please behave yourselves, lest I declare you all abominations and shut down the thread with great vengeance and furious anger.

I now return you to your unresolvable argument.

"And know his name is Erik Mona!"

Bah, I am only here for that gem!

You should start making attractive propositions for willing souls, you know, I am still uncommited...

Hama wrote:

i sacrifice babies to satan and have sex with underage virgins on stone altars in basements of old buildings...

Wait..... we're not supposed to do that?? I thought it was in the Core Rulebook???

Now now, this forum is much to public a place to say something like this. You wouldn't want all those nice and innocent people who are just looking to be confused by saying something...nasty like that.