Fang the Obtuse's page

ditto

Fang, being deathly terrified of landscaping, and rock features in general from his timed as a failed contestant on "Design Star". Lashes out with panicked yet, accurate, attacks:

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (12) + 9 = 211d10 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14

1d20 + 9 ⇒ (11) + 9 = 201d10 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

"Sexy and Scaly is too valid design perspective!!!!"

Spot:

1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15

Initiative:

1d20 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

Apparently we're not the most attentive bunch...

Fang insists on doing that thing where he looks straight at the Sun until there's a giant red afterimage in his vision which he then overlays with various scenery while pretending it's a fireball. Each time he does this he yells, "KERPLAWEE!!!"

Spot:

1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

Fang listens to the story, sure that someday his common will be good enough to figure out what Urdok is saying...

Fang has curled up into a contented, loudly snoring ball of scales as soon as the group stops...

Survival:
1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10

Fang follows the rest of the party when he reaches the place where the body should be, he looks confused. He gets down on all fours and sniffs around picks up a rock, licks it, takes a small bite, and looks even more perplexed than usual.

Search: 1d20 - 3 ⇒ (17) - 3 = 14
Spot: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23

Fang points ahead to the edge of the cliff, "Bah! Gah?!? No pointy..."

Fang the Obtuse wrote:

If you're curious that's actually part of a dutch kids song I picked up while I was in the Netherlands. Translated it basically goes "Ten little fishies are going to the sea, that fine says their mother, but I'm not going with you, because there's sharks in the sea and they'll bite you dead, dead, dead, dead, dead..." Repeat with nine fishies, etc.

Netherlander are vikings right? Or are they lizardfolk? I recognized it as Dutch in any case :)

Mostly their pot-heads, which is a combination of the two... Interestingly enough...

If you're curious that's actually part of a dutch kids song I picked up while I was in the Netherlands. Translated it basically goes "Ten little fishies are going to the sea, that fine says their mother, but I'm not going with you, because there's sharks in the sea and they'll bite you dead, dead, dead, dead, dead..." Repeat with nine fishies, etc.

Fang is so happy to be back under the open sky that he breaks into song... It's impossible to be sure what the song is about and appears to be some weird creole combined with dim intelligence, but you can detect that it's a count down song (along the lines of 99 bottles of beer on the wall...)

"Tein kliene visjes ze gingen naar de zee. Dat's goed zie die moeder, maar ga neit mee. Ik blief liefer in de viese voule sluit voor in de zee eer zitten haaien en ze bitten je dood, dood, dood, dood..."

Fang glares at Amar, since he was dining on crab #1...

Fang attacks... with relish!

Attack1: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (16) + 11 = 27
Damage 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14

Attack2: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (9) + 11 = 20
Damage 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14

I'm going to assume that I don't get a flanking bonus because I'm going before everyone else, but that means everyone else should get a flanking bonus from me!

Not sure if I can do a full attack or not. If not just drop the second roll and add +1 to my attack:

1st attack: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (14) + 9 = 23 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9
2nd attack: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (5) + 9 = 14 1d10 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8

"Fang like surf and turf, now must find cow..."

Init: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (20) + 1 = 21

And...

Swimming! That's where I'm a viking!

Sorry for my absence. Real like ass-ploded (excuse my french)... I leveled and it feels so good...

Fang jumps into the water!

Fang wanders around in a confused haze. He feels something he's never felt before... guilt... Fortunately he doesn't have the intelligence to figure out what this new emotion is and it passes quickly...

The idea of a nap however... That's something he understands!

So I failed my fort save, but the spear missed? Right? And there was only 1 spear that tried to hit me anyway?

Truly the gods love lizards...

Fang grabs the rod and looks with puzzlement on his companions who are moaning and wincing...

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."

Fang wonders how as the most guilty of all he could get away with only one spear, while those who had very little part in the desecration with the exception of the pom-poms are poked many, many, many times. Must be clean living...

Fort Save:1d20 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11

Fang is still attempting to grab the rod from off the sarcophagus he's not going to be dissuaded by it being part of the lid...

Fang looks at the red rod he's been carrying around and then at the blue rod. It takes him a second, but there's an obvious flash of insight on his otherwise vacant lizardfolk face. And seeing no one else reacting he walks in and attempts to grab the blue rod from the top of the sarcophagus.

Fang wanders around wondering what all the fuss is about... It's obvious there's no food, anyone can smell that.

Fang let's forth a shrill warcry!!

3 second visual example

Hammer-
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 191d10 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

Cuisinart
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 181d10 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15

"Bad jerky! Lay down! Be Salty!"

1d20 + 8 ⇒ (7) + 8 = 151d10 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 271d10 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

It's Fang's worst nightmare: stuff that's so old you can't eat it and it can kill you...

"Bad Jerky!!!"

Not sure if Fang is close enough to take a full attack, if he's not just use the first attack and add +1 to the to hit.

1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 231d10 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

2nd Attack (If applicable)
1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 271d10 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

"Die Jerky!!! Die!!"

Will: 1d20(17)+4+6=27
Initiative: 1d20(6)+1=7

I'm guessing Fang didn't beat them...

Also how do you do the cool green formatting for the rolls?

Fang wanders forward to see what all the fuss is about. When he sees the corpse he carefully sniffs it to see if there might be anything edible left on the bones. After fingering one of the femurs, he apparently decides it's not worth the effort and wanders off...

Fang suddenly realized that while he was day-dreaming of raw pork and lizardwomen with strangely mammalian chests that all of his new friends had left him. So gathering up his loin cloth he hurried after them into the catacombs.

Fang pauses from using the red stone rod as a toothpick (trying to get the last of the oreo gunk out) to wonder what's happening.

spot checks?

decisions?
questions: ic or ooc?

Spot Check: 1d20[16]+3=19

Fang grins happily but with probably too many "fangs" showing... But he seems genuinely cheerful. As far as he can tell he now has more friends than ever and he's willing to go and fight and eat pretty much anything and anywhere...

"Happy-happy, joy-joy."

In other words he's way to dumb to be afraid.

Look et tha mug, ellava poker face." Urdok points at Fang's vapid expression.

Fang looks up at the mention of his name. And as he looks around you realize "vapid" only scratches the surface of his expression...

Fang who has finally given up on eating the left over "oreo" after burning his mouth seventeen times. Looks up from his corner. Scratches his head, and gives a big toothy grin...

Sorry missed your Sept 1 post or I would have jumped in before now.

Amar stands back from the oozy creature, ready pull someone out of a grapple.

I think no one's grappled, right? Amar is in healbot mode. So if you're damaged sing out.

I've taken some damage. I'm down at least 27 maybe more if I missed something.

Grapple Check: 1d20[18]+15=33

So I'm free of the grapple? And take no damage? Still I'm too dumb to flee particularly if someone else is grappled

Attack:
1d20[20]+10=30, 1d10[1]+7=8
1d20[12]+10=22, 1d10[5]+7=12

Confirm the crit:
1d20[11]+10=21, 1d10[5]+7=12

"There's got to be a pony in there somewhere!"

Wow, lots going on, let me know if I miss anything...

So 27 damage total, that takes me to 22 hps. I edited my profile.

Reflex Save (to avoid "weapon" damage): 1d20[15]+7=22 Invisible Castle is back up...

I don't think I can beat his grapple check, but I guess I'll try... I assume that even if I'm grappled that since I'm using "light" weapons that I can still do a normal attack...

Grapple Check: 1d20[10]+15=25

Attack the oreo who attacked me:
1d20[15]+10=25, 1d10[10]+7=17,
1d20[2]+10=12, 1d10[3]+7=10

"ARGH!!! To much creamy goodness!!!"

*Grumble* *grumble* I was all done with my post and I clicked submit and it vanished into the ether... :~( Also Invisible Castle appears to have kerploded, so I guess I'll use random.org

Initiative: 1d20[11]+1=12

Grapple Check: 1d20[18]+13=31

Knowledge Dungeoneering: 1d20[6]-3=3 "Milk!!"

So two attacks? Both Full attacks? If not just subtract the offending attacks:

Attack 1a: 1d20[11]+10=21, 1d10[1]+7=8
Attack 1b: 1d20[10]+10=20, 1d10[8]+7=15
Attack 2a: 1d20[11]+10=21, 1d10[7]+7=14
Attack 2b: 1d20[ 9]+10=19, 1d10[8]+7=15

"Milk Burns!!! Mommy no!! No more Habañeros!!! I'll be good!"

I assume the damage you mentioned was to me, was it 8 total or 10 total? I also assume that punching the "milk" is not going to be very effective and may in fact result in more acid damage.

to reveal a stagnant pool of water, its surface calm, milky, and mysterious.

Milk!!

Fang rushes in, drops to his knees and takes a drink from the pool. The cookies have to be in there somewhere!!!

You didn't think it was possible for Fang to look more lost and confused than he already did, but when the door doesn't open to his massive biceps, well lets just say that a world which never made much sense to Fang now makes no sense...

As Urdok urges him to try again it becomes apparent that such an option had never occurred to him, but once he finally grasps it, his face lights up again and he grabs the door with renewed vigor...

1d20[15]+7=22

Four minutes of strength. We're probably close to the end, if not there already.

Let me know soon DM because I definitely want to role-play his reaction when it all disappears... He might weep, I'm not promising anything, but it could be a very dramatic moment... ;)

Watch this one won't be nearly as good...

1d20[11]+7=18

Fang flexes his big biceps and takes another tug.

*sound of constipated lizard man echoes through the great chasm*

Fang looks as everyone walks to the other door. He gestures questioningly to the door he just opened (impressively, I might add) and after a moment shrugs and walks over to the other door and begins to pull.

FANG SMASH!!!!

Strength Roll: 1d20[19]+7=26
Wisdom Roll 1d20[5]+7=12

"Bad bug dead! Eat? Maybe one time, no..."

"Still strong! Open Door?"

Am I up?

"FANG IS NOT AFRAID!! FANG IS STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!!!"

Still flanking? Still Bull's strengthed?

1d20[18]+12=30, 1d10[8]+7=15
1d20[18]+12=30, 1d10[8]+7=15

Fang hit's with two suspiciously identical blows...

Wisdom Check:
1d20+5=16

Fang: wisdom check dc20

1d20[10]+3=13

Nope...

Fang looks at the sword with a kind of "where did that come from? Oh yeah..." And then attacks again. Rolling normally since I'm not sure how to factor in the sword or it's monkey-pawness

1d20[8]+10=18, 1d10[6]+7=13
1d20[10]+10=20, 1d10[8]+7=15

Fang uses his new super-leap ability to jump the length of the centipede and land at it's tail... Okay not really the whole Hulk thing started to go to my head

Fang smashes:

1d20[15]+10=25, 1d10[7]+7=14
1d20[16]+10=26, 1d10[9]+7=16

J and F are on opposite sides

Flank, baby!

Fang crouches, and flexes his arms in a double inward curve emphasizing his pecks and roars before smashing his giant green fists into the giant vermin.

1d20[7]+12=19, 1d10[5]+7=12
1d20[14]+12=26, 1d10[8]+7=15

(As the power of the spell flows into him...)

"Arghhh!!! Fang Angry!! Fang smash!!! Fang already green..."

I assume that I'm within 5 ft. If not drop the second attack and add +1 to the to hit on the first attack

Fang steps forward his ripped shirt flapping in the breeze, his fists flying in deadly arcs of deadliness...

1d20[19]+10=29, 1d10[1]+7=8
1d20[17]+10=27, 1d10[6]+7=13

Fang rips off one of the legs and starts using it as a club... ;)

1d20[9]+1=10 Initiative

So many legs... So many kicks... Fang can't block all...