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![]() *When Vampire Schism is given the letter from her father, it reads as follows:* Hello daughter, Firstly, let me assure that everything is alright, I'm currently in a sort of suspended state of time and space (along with Wally and everyone else). As such, my return is currently postponed until further notice. So, I'm granting you emergency powers to serve as "Acting Countess" until I am able to return. Secondly, in case you have independently thought about acquiring some more creatures for our private zoo, I would like you to obtain a male Tanystropheus (it's something of a personal favorite of mine). Hopefully, all is well with you and that I will be able to continue with the Fantastic Journey and then head home. I look forward to your reply, Dad ![]()
![]() *Appears from the future (10 months later), via a time machine.* Can't stay for too long, spacetime continuum and all that, but I must deliver an important message: Multi-barrelled Halfling launchers are not to be used anymore, they're total fashion disasters. *Starts to leave, then remembers something else.* Wait, I almost forgot about the second message I needed to deliver. *Guts Comte de Malodor like a fish by using a wooden spoon.* Your wife does not forgive you going to the Esquilax Rodeo and forgetting about your anniversary dinner next week. *Heads back to the future.* ![]()
![]() Dear daughter, Thank you for informing me about the apple cart situation. It's good to know that the therapy sessions are working out for it. Now I can save up to get you a brand new carriage. And commendable work with the pets and activists, couldn't have done it better myself. In regards to the adventure journals of Sir Wallace, I have now remembered that I did lend them out. My sincerest apologies for that. However, Fish-Malkovich (whom I lent the books to) will return them later on today. Greatly appreciate that you did not harm the professor, otherwise the project he's working on for me would never get done. I find it curious that he needs a lab for what he needs to do, but he excels at his tasks with phenomenal success. So it's probably best to leave him to it. In the meantime, I'm sending a new acquisition to help out later on. Take care of yourself until I get back, Dad ![]()
![]() *Writes out a letter to Vampire Schism (in red ink this time), during a brief interval.* Fondest greetings, daughter, I trust all is well with you and that the castle is still in one piece. *Chuckles at this, then realises how it could be interpreted.* Hopefully, everything really is OK. As I have not heard from you in a while. I have a few important tasks for you to do, so that everything can smoothly when I return. 1. Please send me a report on the apple cart, you should remember me saying that, in a previous letter, it is not to be upset under any circumstances. I do not wish to spend more money on expensive therapy sessions because of its overly sensitive nature. 2. Go to the castle library and research all books entitled "Where's Wally". I want you to familiarise yourself with everything, as I intend to go on another fantastic journey, this time with you. 3. Dedrick the professor is working on a project for me on the 3rd highest level of the castle. I'll explain everything when I return but, in the meantime, give him as much assistance as you can. Again, hope all is well, and looking forward to hearing from you. Dad. ![]()
![]() *In between travelling with Wally, writes a letter to GoatToucher.* Dear Uncle GoatToucher, As you know, having been a regular - and much welcome - my guest at my castle, I am in possession of an apple cart. However, I have spent quite a lot of effort in making sure that nothing upsets the apple cart (it's very sensitive, and therapy sessions are just so ridiculously expensive). I do not wish to get rid of the apple cart, but I must know how to deal with the situation permanently. Yours sincerely, He who always serves tooth bread at parties and banquets. P.S. I have asked my daughter, Vampire Schism, to look after my castle whilst I am away (with the help of Dowager Comtesse de Malodor). Do you think that you could pop in and see how everything is going? I'd be most grateful. ![]()
![]() Daughter, Unfortunate that my warning was late, do you know what she had? Good work with the zombies and ghouls, however, they're not what I was talking about. There are certain other horrors that make themselves known. In any case, make sure that nothing upsets the apple cart (it's very sensitive and therapy is expensive). ![]()
![]() *Returns from the most recent location, feeling terribly exhausted.* I never knew just how tiring travelling could be, how does Wally find all the energy?! *Gets the delivery of ink from GT's Sousaphone Monster.* Excellent, writing in blue ink is very mundane and just not me. That being said... *Uses the last of the blue ink to write a third letter to Vampire Schism.* Daughter, Please forgive the formalities of my letters, and thank you for sending the ink. I'm currently recovering from the latest expedition, you'll find out all about it in the next postcard, and dealing with various matters that require my signature (hence the request, we vampires only use red ink. Plus, it's my favourite colour, most vampires prefer lilac.) How are things at the castle? With the warmer weather on the way, certain creatures in the area begin to really come alive, I'll explain later. In regards to writing to you, instead of using telepathy, it is because I am constantly moving and am at such a great distance (we can be in different dimensions/realities, but trying to communicate telepathically from the void is impossible). I hope this clears up a few things. Remember to stay in touch as often as possible. Sincerest regards, Father P.S. Don't let Dowager Comtesse de Malodor eat anything from my personal larder, she'll get windy. ![]()
![]() *Returns, briefly, to the motel in the void. Writes a letter to Vampire Schism.* Hello, daughter, I hope all is well still with you and thank you for the cutout, I can't wait to use it. Regrettably, I will have to keep this short, as I'm going back out in a few minutes after writing this. Please may you, if possible, send me some red ink. I've ran out of it a while ago (hence why this letter and the previous one is written in blue ink) and I can only write out/sign documents with that specific ink. All the best, Your father *Gets the letter delivered, before leaving to go to the next location.* ![]()
![]() *Reads letter, allows self a warm and tearful smile.* That's so very sweet, I shall have to get some souvenirs. *Quickly teleports to the post-office at Transylvania 65000, to pick up the cardboard cutout.* It's really quite something, think I'll keep it safe for now. *Goes back to the motel in the void, puts the cardboard cutout in my motel room.* Alright, time to resume that fantastic journey with Wally! *Leaves the motel with Wally and the others.* ![]()
![]() *Writes a letter to Vampire Schism (using blue ink, as I'm out of red ink).* Greetings, daughter, I trust everything is well with you and that the castle is being well maintained and that Dowager Comtesse de Malodor has been able to provide assistance. I haven't received any news stating otherwise, granted, I've been on the move all the time. Speaking of which, I am currently staying (along with Wally and everyone else) at some sort of motel that exists outside of time and space. Apparently, this is where Wally goes while figuring out where to go next. There's been talk of going somewhere you can "dream of 3 wishes", whatever that means. In any case, things are going to start getting more lively than usual. Take care of yourself in the meantime, and send me a response, if you can. Yours sincerely, Count Reiner Heydrich ![]()
![]() Just for the record, everyone, I'll only be describing the scenes on the postcards along with revealing the location of Wally and the 23 travellers.
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![]() *After a few long hours, the servants' quarters are finally completed.* I, Count Reiner Heydrich, hereby dedicate this new extension to honour the commitment of the workforce. *Opens the door to the new wing, amid cheers and applause.* Now, I must leave you, for I am going on a fantastic journey! My daughter, Vampire Schism, will be left in charge. Farewell, I shall return some day, keep an eye out for Wally's postcards! *Transforms into a bat and flies away.* ![]()
![]() Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
Obviously, there's going to be 23 travellers (including me), not just 11. ![]()
![]() *Is especially cheerful this morning, opens the curtains and gets blinded by sun.* What a lovely day! The weather is good and I'm going to enjoy myself! *Gets dressed in the most fanciful attire.* Today is my birthday! I can't remember how old I am now, but I do know that Jurassic Bard is now 32. *Suddenly spots a man wearing a red and white striped jumper with matching bobble hat, blue jeans and glasses.* Wally? What are you doing here? *After wishing the count a happy birthday, Wally explains that he is going on another fantastic journey.* Brilliant idea! And you say that you are going to 24 places instead of the usual 12, starting with my castle? *Wally confirms this and says that he intends to go back to the Odlaw Swamp and a couple more old places.* If that's the case, then I'll be the first of your eleven travelers! ![]()
![]() Vampire Schism wrote:
Fair enough daughter, you have done well, expect a big promotion when you return. ![]()
![]() Pulg wrote:
Also no, as she was a well-known halfling "entertainer". She took her own life after taking Comte de Malodor as a client. ![]()
![]() Pulg wrote: If you want superior quality insulation - fast, I can put my mind to shedding a bit sooner. £4 per 20.5 litre sack, how's that? I'll pay you £160 for 1.25 litres of hair you are able to shed. Comte de Malodor used all his pillow stuffing fighting Sir Limey De Longears. And I said that I would help him to replace all the pillow stuffing. -_- ![]()
![]() Vampire Schism wrote:
Most exciting, please help yourself to my private larder, daughter. If anyone deserves to enjoy sampling my personal food stash, it's you. ![]()
![]() No, "Deathtrap" Duncan was a notorious prankster known for his lethal and puzzling "jokes". Hence why, he gave himself the nickname of "Deathtrap" (he was inspired by the infamous Deathtrap Dungeon). While Forrest O'Doom (no connection to Darkwood Forest, the actual Forest of Doom) was a petty baron from Khul. They have since died, Deathtrap Duncan met his end (ironically) in Deathtrap Dungeon. And Forrest O'Doom was victim to a mine collapse whilst searching for gold to improve his status. ![]()
![]() Fair enough, I myself do not use such minions very much either. Aside from zombies, ghosts and ghouls, I prefer intelligent undead such as the Baobhan Sith. ![]()
![]() Vampire Schism wrote:
It's absolutely fine, daughter, and thank you for the reports as always. During my search of the forgotten levels of the crypt, I found this and this. Because of there being so many of the latter, I will take most of them and give you one of the spares. ![]()
![]() Um, sir (and The when), that "spider thing" is about to... *The warning comes to late, as the Spider-Man bites The when and Pulg's Fairy Operatic Tenor.* Oh dear, that's unfortunate. *Pulg's Fairy Operatic Tenor and The when instantly die from the venom.* Daughter, maybe it would be best not to have your "pets" roam about unchecked. ![]()
![]() Not those ones, no. But I did steal the method of creating them, along with a certain Serpent Queen. ![]()
![]() Excellent! Great job with the progress reports, daughter, I have a new pet for you. ![]()
![]() Vampire Schism wrote:
Fantastic news! I'm almost finished with my little project, just a few more things. *The interior of the castle is completely refurbished (and some of the rooms have been moved around).* And with that, I'm done! Time to focus back on adding to the menagerie. ![]()
![]() Dowager Comtesse de Malodor wrote: Alphonse likes them. What he likes doing with them doesn't bear thinking about, though (it takes a lot to make Orcus queasy, but the little beast managed it. Please, please don't ask for details) I have no intention of asking, don't worry. Now, time for the renovation! *The magic spell teleports everyone (except the count) to the unused summer Manor.* Alright, let's get to work, might give the rooms a shuffle around as well. *Uses some more magic to alter the interior of the castle.* ![]()
![]() Agreed. I wonder if the Malodor household likes them? If you get the chance Pulg, ask them for me. In the meantime, I will have the castle renovated, it's starting to look rundown (interior wise). Since magic is going to be used, no-one has to do anything. But the castle will get cleared still. The magic will automatically teleport everyone (except me) to my - unused - summer Manor. Don't worry, the Manor is clean and newly refurbished. I just never used it.
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