A Queer Little Man's page

I will be your "pupil".

Terin is having a REAL bad day and may be becoming a little unhinged.

I can't imagine why. This all seems so pedestrian in my world...

Which is the closer of the temples of Pelor and Fharlanghn to our current location?.

Neither is particularly close, but you have friends nearby who may help, and Seann knows of a nearby shrine in this district, though he can’t tell you how he knows.

"What are you?" Though, I'm really hoping you'll just tell me.

The little man straightens slightly while you hold him, and cracks his neck from side to side.

Such naughty children, but so very smart! I shall be so very careful with the rest of you, but perhaps not Tyndal. After all, you are all bound to be hungry when you wake!

Flushing out your sibling as if we were a disease. Imagine; a disease! I was harmless to you now, you know. My kind only reproduce once, then move on to the next generation. Not long now and we’ll forgot all about this and be a family again.

The cracking sound from the freakish little man’s neck increases. With a horrible tearing noise, his scalp separates, coming away from the part like a zipper.

The pair of watch members stand rooted in the hallway, jaws agape, and their sergeant stands similarly petrified as two long, sharp hooked legs emerge from the opening, peeling away the shell as a banana. Tyndal and Terin spring into action, hacking at the creature with their weapons, and the rest of what was once “Lerod” strips away (the monstrosity adding a muffled, “thank you.” from the deflating mouth as the skin falls aside). Before you stands a milky white, six-foot tall cockroach. Standing upright with the remains of the husk around its legs like a burlap sack, it twitches two antennae in your direction.

The monstrous insect pounces upon the sergeant, snatching her up with four clawed limbs, biting her head clean off, and then throwing her decapitated corpse towards the men in the hallway before wheeling on Tyndal menacingly.

Cockroach Init (1d20+6=14)

Get…rid…of? No, no, no, no. Don’t you understand? You are all part of something special now! I’ve given you an incredible gift.

You have brought us to the new world. I have nothing but the best interests of my children at heart!

Let’s all sleep this over. I bet you will see things from a fresh perspective in the morning!

The strange and now apparently potentially dangerous little man screams in terror and ducks behind Seann and Anders. Answering Eldin’s softer questioning he whispers, “Yes, everyone except Tyndal.”

Voice rising as he continues, he adds,“I was desperate. We only reproduce once, and I was right, don’t you see? Tyndal already murdered one of my children by accident! It’s ok though, we’ll all be one big family soon!”

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Harven became a father! It is sad he was too small though, poor thing, out there without any protection.

Spitting in his lap to clear his mouth.

“Wait…we’re leaving the food?”

Begins to stuff his pockets hastily.

The outlandish man looks up from his plate with furrowed brows and, mouth full of food, declares, “Mupplefrump leptchas” before returning to his gluttonous repast. His table manners are quite frankly nonexistent, and several patrons move to tables farther away as bits of food and drink spray from his lips, unnoticed in his frenzied orgy of victuals.

A nearby noble mutters something about “adventurers ruining the economy” into his wineglass.

On a lighter note, the food is excellent, though the ale is a bit watered. Whoever the chef is, they are a miracle worker. Unfortunately, the meal gives you all terrible heartburn (excepting the human garbage bin over there), but such is life.

"We're here!", screams Lerod at the top of his voice.

Wow. We really made it. So this is the place? Let's get some drinks, meet some people!

"We have a problem?"

“Sorry Tyndal, I just thought maybe we could all be one big family.”

Harven happily hands over the rope. You see him wince a bit as he ties off his end of the rope, and when you inquire about it, he mentions he has been experiencing ever-increasing abdominal pain.

“We better get him up to the city quick. He’s small.”

“Are you any good with locks Lerod?”

“Which one of us is Lerod again? Hmm, ok, but I’m only changing once.”

On the subject of locks.

“I’m not sure, but I’d be willing to give it a shot.”

speaking of which ..." Eldin turns to the queer little man and asks "Vanthus, what do you plan to do once we get back to the city?"

Can’t I stay with you? I’d like a drink too! Maybe we could find something new to eat, before my children come.

Le-Who? Never heard of him. Wait...did you say your eyeball was talking to you?

Right. I'm the crazy one.

I can't watch!

The odd man watches, transfixed.

I’m not putting that thing anywhere near my face. I say we squish and run!

(are they singing anything good?)“I once heard a tale about an old man who lived in a crocodile infested swamp,” he muses, “who kept a troupe of singing mushrooms. I am unsure f the veracity of that tale, or whether these mushrooms are of the same variety … or how that helps us at all.”

Poor Eldin has lost his mind, or located some really good stash.

Vanthus examines the mushrooms dubiously.

"Do you suppose it got that way be eating these things?"

Ok, this is kinda fun now. Can someone hand me a weapon?

(If not, he’ll keep covering Seann.)

You’re right, Anders. This is much better than letting ONE otyugh eat me.

If it gets you all out of here without putting anyone else in danger...I volunteer.

Unbelievable. We’re never getting out of this stupid sewer.

I’ll cover you!

“Vanthus” is going to use his action this round to “aid another” on Seann’s AC (+2AC) – (11/28, 1:39 "Vanthus" rolls to Aid Another; Total = 15)

You guys are bad luck! Rabid dogs, ooze beasts, exploding corpses!?!

You are all too important to me to risk; I mean, think of my children! Won’t someone think about the children?

I volunteer to stay with the thing so you can pass through. Otherwise, I say we rush it!

The odd little man thinks for a second, searching around with his eyes.

"I eat hardy to keep my strength up!"

Then, he reaches into his pocket and offers you a puppy head.

“Plus, I stay in the back.”

How far of a jump is it?

It’s not far, and it’s a low slope. Basically, it is just a dry spot that pokes about the surrounding low cave floor.

If needed I can roll damage...

I put some serious thought into changing it after the fact, having it do nothing instead just to screw with you all. :P

Terin awakes to the odd little man (“Vanthus”) slapping his face, as the rest of the party returns groggily to full consciousness.

The last thing any of you remember before Terin struck the corpse was an intense burst of light and sound.

“Wow! Are you ok?” "Vanthus" brushes maggots and entrails off Terin as he sits him upright.

A severed head decorated in pantomime paint stares back at you from the floor with an uncompromising doll’s gaze.

“What kind of freak traps a perfectly good corpse, anyway? Luckily, it didn’t seem to do anything but knock us all out; I don’t know for how long though. After I came to, I dragged everyone up here for safety, even if it is a little cramped. There’s no way I’d let anything bad happen to you guys! Especially now. We’re all going to the city!”

“Oh hey, I saw something floating up ahead earlier. I think it got flung when the corpse blew, but I didn’t have time to check it out.”

"City? You mean Sasserine? I thought you lived there."

Oh course, silly. That’s where all us humans live. In the city.

Your anomalous companion, pockets bulging outward with dead puppies, trails as ever behind the party.

“Thanks for not turning me in back there guys. I can’t wait to show my children the city!”

Good choice!

Those things are dangerous, and they eat up all the good food nearby.

The strange man plunks himself down onto the floor and begins to shovel handfuls of rat-puppy entrails into his mouth with gusto.

is the wierdo coming with us?"

The Queer Little Man finishes swallowing “something” he discovered on the floor of the chamber and pipes up with, “Here I am! Ready to go to…’The City!”

Indicating the room to the northeast (to the right of the den).

Perhaps we should hole up in there until everyone is well?

“Aaiiii!”

The strange man flails about madly with his improvised weapon (Cripes, natural 1). The wooden column receives a terrible thrashing it will not soon forget, yet the ooze proceeds unmolested.

Emboldened by Anders’ attack and the party's apparent turning of the tide, “Vanthus” snatches a piece of broken barrel and takes up position adjacent to Eldin (D7).

“Yaaaahhhh!”

AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Vanthus" hits the dirt, hiding his head under his arms.

"No. That water looks most uninviting. Besides, candles are overrated anyway."

Then man sighs, then resumes picking up various bits of trash to stuff against the doorway.

Can I put this door back up now?

"Who's that?"

The man shrugs noncommittally.

Dunno. I think he was trying to get away from the beasts, but the water was already occupied. Apparently, it doesn't like company.

Turning back to the wretch, Eldin asks, “From what direction did you hear the yell for mercy that you mentioned?”

The eccentric waves aside your concerns

It came from the outside space, the husk; it’s not important anymore. Long gone.

Do you know the way to the surface?

The man shakes his head, making “tsk tsk” noises over the broken barrel.

That was hard work too.

The man points towards the pool.

Any chance you could retrieve my candle?

Shying away at first, then sighing at the futility of resisting, the man relents to Eldin’s scrutiny.

Eldin is trying to see whether the tattoo looks newly done, old … or if it’s a real tattoo at all.

It does appear to be genuine, probably within the last few years or so, as the colors are only slightly faded.

“Where are your children sir?

I haven’t had them yet, but I plan to! I’d almost given up hope, truth be told. Now that you’re here though, I think things look much better for them.

How long have you been down here?

All my life!

The names that you chose, Vanthus and Penkus, do you know the original bearers of those names? Have you seen them?”

I’ve never met them; I only heard someone screaming them some time ago. “Vanthus….Penkus…Mercy!!!,” like that.

"Whst were you doing when we ...intruded upon your ...position?"

Trying to seal out those horrible beasts. Dangerous, they are.

You are lucky to have survived. I'm lucky you survived too.

Will we be going back to the surface soon? I can't wait to see the city.

I'm no creature. I'm a people person. Vanthus Penkus, that's me.

Can you step away from that doorway so I can block it up again?

The peculiar man brushes himself off and meanders over to where the collapsed but salvageable door lies, intending to resume his previous operation.

Lotus...Dragons? Never heard of them!

Sense Motive check DC10:

Vanthus. Vanthus Penkus. I chose it and I'm sticking with it!

Clearly demoralized, the man begins to back towards the pool.

Hey, hey! No need to be like that. Those are the only names I’m familiar with, ok?

Look, seeing as you took away my only light, you could at least help a guy out.

Think of my children!

Do you know a Vanthus?

It's such a common name among us humans.

I'm Vanthus Penkus.

This man looks nothing like your description of Penkus, either.

Can you help me block this door up before the monsters return?

Who me?

I'm...uh…Vanthus. Yes, Vanthus. That's me.

This man looks nothing like Vanthus.

I didn't know you survived, I thought the creatures got you. I was so worried about my children, but thank the Not Food you're here!

I was blocking off this door to keep the beasts from returning.

As Tyndal’s impact presses the stranger to the ground, a candle spins away from the man’s outstretched hand, flying into a nearby pool. The modest flame snuffs out, then quickly sinks beneath the surface.

From beneath the tangle of limbs, you hear a muffled cry of, “Mercy!”

The uppermost barrel falls, shattering upon impact, and the ensuing torrent soaks both men to the skin.