The first thing that comes to your mind is terror. Over time, you have been a great many things - an experiment, a failure, a success... you have been a mother and a father, beloved and hated, nurturing and feared. However, no matter what else was going on... you were great. Your existence was one on the scale that most other beings could not even begin to conceive of, and even most of those who could didn't even begin to understand the true depths of what you were. With countless plans and plots, you moved along - until, after so many ages, changes happened. Struck down in the fleeting moments after ascension, you were all but completely destroyed. Still, even a freshly made god is not eliminated so easily...
The last memories you have are those of unlimited greatness spreading out before you, then endless despair. However, neither of them explain why you're so small, so weak. The fragile flesh of your body seems like it would burst apart under the slightest thought... had your mind not been so drained, so sluggish compared to what you knew. It takes time, but you slowly realize what has happened.
You are no longer in the form of a deity. You do not even possess the body of your children, the forms of mighty denizens of the Abyss. You are much lower than that... and in time, the word 'mortal' comes to mind. Strange little things... weak and powerless, but known to stand against even the greatest of demons and thwart their plots. Individually weak, collectively strong, and much beloved by many of the other gods, who took an enormous interest in their affairs. Your situation could be worse, but it wouldn't be easy... you don't possess even the smallest fragment of the power that was as natural as simply existing to you. Power does remain within your body, but only the faintest shadow of what should have been.
More immediately, however, this odd sensation... "touch", you think it's called... seems to be telling you that you're enclosed in something hard, and something you recognize as "sound" seems to be coming from around you, calling and encouraging you to come forth.
Seems language works well enough, in her head at least.
She shifts... it hurts, badly, with the ache of unused muscle and popping of unused joints.
Her entire form hurts in a markedly unpleasant way, and the cold, unforgiving presence of the hard surface around her provide no comfort or pleasant experiences whatsoever.
She likes this "touch".
Her eyes flutter open, slowly, looking around. She makes sure to have a genuinely wide-eyed expression of confusion to show her new-found vulnerability and ignorance (true enough), but also ensure she can actually see what's going on.
She doesn't show all of her vulnerability, of course, but she's terribly mortal right now - truly, honestly mortal, it seems (how droll) - so she might as well use that to her advantage.
Fortunately, she seems... 'alive', at least by mortal standards. She wasn't sure. How adorable they are!
She smiles radiantly, as if exhausted, eyes squinting up. She breathes, happily, looking around.
Then: "The children!" she whispers as horror floods her, as she half-sits, horror on her face. Her children!
Knowledge (religion):1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27
... are fine. she reassures herself. They are fine and alive - thriving, actually. She knows not where the knowledge comes from, only that it's true. She counts those demonlords who are dead in her mind, uncertain when or how she learned of their demise, but able to recall each of their faces, portfolios, and deaths clearly enough, as she reclaimed them into herself. Her final two children were not among them, though, she notes, with some self-satisfaction, that her murderer is among those lost.
The fear leaves her features, as she purposefully re-asserts an innocent and hopeful mien at whoever or whatever she happens to see nearby, smiling ignorantly and beautifully (if she does say so herself, though of course, she wouldn't... out loud).
Sense Motive:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12
She tries to understand who they are and what they want.
As it turns out, being encased within stone is a bit of a block to charming just about anyone... whoever's on the outside, at least, seems to have neither seen nor heard you, and they remain cheerfully oblivious as they continue whatever it is they're doing. Learning to deal with the limitations of the mortal world is likely to be very important for your long-term survival... because if there's anything at all you remember about the material plane, it's that mortals die very easily.
"Oh! That's why everything was so dark!" she says. She knocks on the stone and pushes slightly to see if it opens, while trying to zero in on the voices and actually identify anything she can about them. When it's sealed firmly, she tries a different tactic for the curious puzzle she finds herself within.
"Um, hello? Hi! I'm in a small dark place! Who're you? Are you my rescuer?" she asks, putting extra "hopeful" in her voice.
Hm. I do hope that I'm not trapped (or that this thing isn't trapped). That would be boring.
"Would you mind please helping me out of here?" she asks.
She maintains her appearances as before, though takes ten slowly searching with this renewed perception "touch" to find how the thing opens, as well as trying to ferret out any information she can from the different voices. Does she understand the language? Genders? Numbers or vague guess ("lots" "some" "a few" "a couple" etc)? Comprehensible or obscured by the stone (to know if she'd likely be heard or understood as well)?
The voices, which had been partially obscured by the stone, stopped for a moment. Sounding more inquisitive a moment later, though the words were difficult to make out, several of them approached... and after a few moments of what sounds like heated debate, a line of light appears and quickly widens as the stone is pulled apart on cleverly-built hinges. From within the coffin, you can see-
Hell.
Wait, no, that's somewhere else. Nevertheless, the place you are is more foreign to your own nature than anywhere you've ever seen before. The air itself is suffused with a sense of order and purpose, and each building you can see is ordered, structured, and sensible in design. This isn't order for the sake of morality, but more regulation for its own sake, the polar opposite of chaos.
Moments later, several heads pop into view. At least, they seem like heads. They're attached to what appear to be constructs about two and a half feet tall, and four of the little creatures are looking at you with what seems to be great interest.
"I told you someone was in there! Stone didn't sound right from the very start..."
"Yeah, but what are we going to do now? She may not be harmonious..."
The four creatures gather together, talking rapidly and apparently not at all concerned for their own safety.
"Oh! Wow! Hello, there! How cute! Are you my rescuers? I can be all, like, really harmonious, like you don't even know!" she asks again, now that they can hear her. "I just woke up! What a -" she hesitates for the briefest of moments, "- wonderful place you have, here!"
She carefully looks around, happily, but gets a confused look on her face. "... where is it, exactly? I mean, just to be sure." she stumbles a little.
She recognizes the implicit threat of not being harmonious enough, so she cast about to find her things - her things? huh, she supposes they are - just in case it turns violent, though she'd rather talk her way through them. Noticing that they are around, she takes a moment to 'delightedly' collect them with a small, "Ooh! How nice!"
This entire place feels... wrong to her, but she'll never show it. She rises carefully, bending and stretching the eons of sleep from her newly very mortal form. Hm: she'd have to do something about that, eventually.
She keeps a careful eye about, though she appears more innocent and happy than anything else. She also keeps a (subtly) wary eye on the four creatures, trying to ascertain their reasons and motives and trying to follow their conversation, while slowly getting her bearings - she's not entirely sure of what reality this could be, but it certainly wasn't 'home'... wherever that was, because the Abyss certainly wasn't home anymore either, not since her... she swallows, and finishes the thought, not since my death.
Taking in the absolutely orderly nature of the world around her and tomb beyond is... overwhelming... at least slightly. She doesn't need to pretend to feel slightly dizzy or sickened, though she doesn't let on that said sensations are at all tied to the ludicrously straight lines and exceptionally focused architecture.
Her eyes flutter a little at the overwhelming order of it all.
"Also, uh... what, um, I mean, like, who are you?" she asks.
The small creatures keep discussing for a moment, though they don't seem entirely displeased... unfortunately, you don't seem to be having much luck actually recognizing where you are; though once a god, you certainly didn't know absolutely everything. After a few more moments, however, the four creatures turned, lined up, and saluted. The second one on your right seems to be the leader, and this is the one that began talking. "We are the Grand Noble Order of the Northern Outer Quadrant." It said proudly, puffing out its tiny robotic chest. "We are responsible for maintaining the perfection of the city within our zone. Speaking of... get that thing!" It pointed towards the opened stone coffin, and its companions darted forward, lifting it up and starting to carry it off. The little construct zoomed forward a moment later, brushing small bits of stone dust into a pan. "It's a very important job, you know. Perfection doesn't keep itself!"
She blinks. "The... Northern Outer Quadrant of what?" she wonders to half to herself. Then, "That does sound like a very important job!" she beams at the creature. "And you must be especially important, being the leader, right?" she asks.
"So, I'm curious... how did you find me? My stone-thing I was in, I mean? Did you know I was in there?" even though she didn't think they did, it could be helpful to know, "And, like, where is it going? I mean, where are you taking it?" she feigns casual ignorance instead of the depth and strength of her inquiry. "Um, like, I've been... er... 'asleep': yes, 'asleep'. For a while. So... uh... I, like... need directions? Where's a place to go?" And how did I get here? she wonders silently to herself.
She analyzes the construct-like thing for a moment. Then, deciding she might need to be a bit more clear, "I mean, like, where do... people... who, like, need to eat or sleep or stuff all hang out?" She's reasonably certain she needed to eat or sleep. Reasonably, anyway.
"And, like... do people... um... 'travel', anymore? I mean, like, to other places?"
Then, "Oh! How totally rude of me! What's your name, cutie?" she asks, not expecting a comprehensible answer.
The creatures didn't pause in their cleaning of the debris as they answered the question. "Why... the Northern Outer Quadrant of the Eternal City of Axis, of course!" the apparent leader said proudly. "Tending to this place and thwarting the corruption of chaos is a truly honorable job, and one we are proud to have been made for!" It did glance back at the opened hunk of stone. "As for that... it wasn't so much that we knew you were in there as we knew something about it was wrong. Naturally, we wanted to find out what it was before we sent in a report, in case more stone from the same place would be a problem. Is it normal for mortal creatures to be enclosed within stone in the place you come from?" This appeared to be a very serious question - it actually wanted to know.
Knowledge (religion):1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17 Knowledge (planes):1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14Untrained, maximum DC 10. Hm... rather somewhat ironic that she doesn't have knowledge the planes?
"Oh." she says in response to the idea of Axis. Just the name was terrifying. She trembles a little: the plane of all law, source of all order, and location where all lawful gods reside. She... probably shouldn't stay. She probably shouldn't stay immediately, if not sooner.
They'd... put her in Axis?! Well, if you want a qlippoth, demon, or other anarchic entity to stay dead... well, she supposed, it just makes sense.
Turning, blinking toward the small construct, "I'm... glad for you!" she manages, smiling, "And, honestly, I... I can't say. I'm not sure that it's not common, but... it certainly happened in my experience!" she smiles.
Bluff:1d20 + 9 ⇒ (12) + 9 = 21
"Er... but... I... is it common here?" she asks. "And... where is that hunk of stone headed?" she suddenly felt slightly protective of it... it might be all she has left of her home. Or, more importantly, it might hold clues to her new existence and the whole "mortal" thing.
Then, deciding to try again, "Er... also, are there ways to go to other places from Axis? And places to eat or sleep or stuff?" She smiles, "... and do you have a name?"
The small creature let out a rapid stream of near-incomprehensible machine-speech. It's not in any language you recognize, but it does seem to be its name... "As for the stone, we'll do what we do with all potential problems: get rid of it! Everyone knows that for various reasons, problems do happen, but we've evolved a very thorough system for taking care of them and making sure they don't repeat!" It seemed to be about finished with the cleaning, which it had never stopped doing since zooming over. "Mortals like you can go down about three blocks that way." it added, pointing towards the center. "We have a thriving trade district with carefully-selected products from across most of the Planes, but you're pretty lucky - the guards have truly rigorous inspection protocols for anything coming into the city, but they don't really care about what goes out as long as it's not important, so it's easy enough to leave. Not that any residents do, of course, unless it's for work - why would you live anywhere else?" It sounded honestly confused at the idea. "Visitors and traders leave, though, and they're usually happy to let others go with them when the portals are opened."
"You are the most helpful creature!" she beams at it. "You've helped organize the confusion of my mind, and order the chaos of my ignorance with your knowledge! No wonder you were given such an important task!"
She leans down and smiles at the little thing. Creepy and disturbing it may be, but it's kind of like a child in some ways. A dangerous child, to be sure, and one she maintains a guard against, just in case, but a child nonetheless. Although she doesn't yet realize it, she likes children.
"Now listen, please: do you think perhaps that I could help stop the chaos from happening again? I don't know if I could," - ugh, it's honesty and forthrightness was infecting her! Ew! - "however by thoroughly examining that rock, I might be able to ensure something like that never arrives here again!" She really, really hoped nothing like that ever arrived here again. Because that would mean she would have died, again. And come here, again. She wasn't entirely sure which was worse, at present. "All you would need to do for me, Sweety-bolt, is just let me look at it for a little while, maybe take down some notes, and then you could take it wherever you like! It could be very helpful in stopping any such... unpleasantness... in the future!"
You can safely assume they will not be attracted to you. XD
Praising one's ability to contribute to order was (by far) one of the best ways to get on the good side of the menial workers of Axis... especially if you were diplomatic enough, or could bluff enough, to make it more believable. Notably, the creatures here seemed more than happy to agree to the request, and after a moment of consideration... "Sure, why not? As the teachings explain to us, even a small amount of information is valuable, for it can help to support us all." The other little metal machines paused in their removal of the stone and set it down to allow further examination.
Heksfazia carefully studies the rock, using her charcoal and paper to take any important notes, make any impressions of note, and otherwise carefully replicate any impressions, visual cues, or the like (or write about the fact that there's nothing worth replicating).
After a careful and thorough examination of the object in question and finding disappointingly little to inform her, she thanks the wretched little things with a pleasant smile for all their excellent assistance and completely empty promises to be harmonious (well, maybe she will be, but if so it'll largely be juuuuuuuuust long enough to get out of here, hopefully forever and always), and acquires the little leader's <code name>: she encourages the leader to write the extremely short/summoning version of its name (that... mortals... could use, "Just in case I need you to help establish order, later, of course, as you're so good at it!"), on one of her papers.
After this is accomplished, she proceeds to follow the directions of the little creature to the bazaar, realizing she's... starving.
I'm going to narrate a bit, but feel free to retcon, remove, rewrite, or generally ignore. She's being afflicted by her fundamental opposite. She may be experiencing delusions, or perhaps was more affected by that 'harmonious cookies, man' place (run by what was probably secret devotee of Norgorber) more than she thought.
She idly wonders if they have any <a:lsker'ops> or phnt'agans to devour whole... ooh! or maybe a few labba-labbas? ... souls? ... ... sin?? ... anything?!
Most people simply give her blank stares and offer things like "noodles" (looking like qlippoth children, no thank you) or "polygonal crackers sorted according to geometric-numerical value" (arg! how disgustingly orderly!) or "harmonious cookies, man" (she was reasonably certain this contained some sort of mind-destroying toxin, seemingly used by the very self-same individual who offered her some free samples for some reason...).
The only individual she could even get to recognize the names of her favored snacks was quite surprised she'd ever heard of such "thankfully extinct creatures" and proceeded to engage her in a nearly incomprehensible conversation about, she was relatively sure after a while, was the planes themselves, maybe the Abyss, or something like that. About the only thing she could understand was that the Abyss had changed, qlippoths were nearly wiped out (something she'd never considered possible, much less probable), and most only know of the demons that reside in that plane, "... which are bad enough, allow me to assure you good madam! What utterly loathsome creatures! And to think the qlippoths were - what few remain are - worse! Nearly incomprehensible!"
She left, depressed, simply getting up and wondering off as he was juuuuuust getting enthusiastic about how the advent of the protean-qlippoth war enabled order to enter the world and flourish and become a powerful force, confusing the man. It was a boring conversation anyway.
Probably the strangest thing, though, was how... small and mortal everyone was. And how entirely unafraid of her they were!
There were so many people! And none of them were attempting murder (except for the one cookie sells-man, she supposed), rape, pillage, devour, or corrupt each other! Not even a little! It was... terrifying, in some ways, though there were elements that were appealing. Not the order, certainly (oh, merciful all that didn't exist, not the mind-breakingly boring rigid order of the place), but the lack of constant fear and hatred. It was... bizarre.
Still, by the time she realized she was going to get nothing she recognized and find nothing to eat she was exhausted... and somewhat desperate.
Her body... her stomach... hurt. She wasn't full... was she... oh, no... was she pregnant?! But she was barren!
She desperately began searching for something, anything, to help her...
Diplomacy:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27; or +9 for a total of 28...
After staggering around for awhile, several details become apparent... including the fact that Axis has heard about something called "social services" and adopted it into the overall structure of the city. Unfortunately, it seems to be residents-only, so that's a bit of a problem... the pain in your stomach is only growing worse and worse when someone finally addresses you.
"Um, excuse me... are you all right?" a feminine voice asked. The speaker is a young woman (at least, probably young - mortals have this bizarre ongoing shapechange ability that works throughout their lives, which they often dislike but seem powerless to control unless they possess an excessive degree of magic), and she seems like she's honestly concerned about your well-being. There's no fear or worry in her voice - this is, after all, the Eternal City... and it has ways of ensuring there are no problems on the streets.
Head throbbing, mind spinning (from lack of food), she stumbles over to the other woman. "Oh, gods... my stomach... it hurts... I might be pregnant!" she blurts out to the woman, holding onto her. "But that's not supposed to happen! I'm barren!" she pleads with the lady.
It's at about that point that her stomach grumbles exceedingly loudly.
"Oh, ****!" she cries. "It feels like I'm getting emptier! Is it devouring me?! Is this how I die?! I thought it was over!" she sobs in frustration at all the wasted lives, completely worthless if she dies now from another spawn... spawn she wasn't meant to have more of... "Was it that cookie salesman?!" her eyes narrow in fury, "I knew there was something wrong with him! Those... those... harmonious cookies! I will destroy the pitiful mortal who dared impregnate me with his poison cookies!"
At which point, she promptly sways on her feet, dizzily, (having failed her (very mild) fortitude save against hunger. She clings to the probably-young mortal. "What a waste!" she declares.
That... wasn't something very easy for any normal person to respond to, but the young woman seemed determined to make a good shot at trying. "I think your stomach would be a lot bigger if you were pregnant." she said firmly, reaching into her bag and pulling out what looked like... many holes surrounded by fiber and encased in a hard dark-brown shell of some sort. "Eat this." she instructed, holding out the chunk of bread.
Heksfazia reached for the bread, hesitantly. Not pregnant? she thought.
Grasping the strange thing, she bit into it. Heavenly, she thought... and she didn't hate it! How odd!
Almost of their own volition, the newly-minted mortal's arms and mouth began communicating in utterly horrid... well... harmony. Smoothe integration of (subconscious) thought into action. It was... well it was awful to have that much self control, really. She hated it. How wonderful!
She immediately began consuming the loaf. She'd never realized what "hungry" really was, she began to realize. She re examined her mortal form once again as she consumed.
Thoughts originating from the head/face casing, she analyzed, as her body continued to ravage the strange heavenly mana offered by the blessed little girl (and she didn't loathe the concept in the slightest! Strange!), traveling down probable information-clusters in the head-moving air-and-food passage system, - called a "neck" as she recalled - and from there radially distributed through a network of semi-integrated impulse dispersal agents spreading outward throughout the form all the way to the tips of the limbs. she mulled over this. How awful! How completely orderly, inefficient, well-structured, and easily disrupted it all was!
"Mfbee-imf mor-bdal fshuggs!"^ she opines to the woman (mouth entirely full of bread), a statement the poor wretch could hardly do aught but agree with, she was sure. How awful: stuck in these orderly forms without multiple brain-nodules spread across the whole to ensure maximum disorder and efficiency of localized conceptualization and destructive impulse. Alas, she felt sorry - genuine pity - for the poor creatures. No wonder they turned to sin! It was all so... so boring!
After a time, she finished the bread. Then she realize she felt very ill, but in a very different way. Too... too full. It was like when she gorged on the krill in the ancient days, expect she couldn't simply creat destructive excretions to watch her fellows burn in pain to ease the heft.
... wait, mortals could eat too much?!?!
Oh, this would never do.
"Hmf-hmf... *buuuuuuuuuuurp*, oh, pardon, I think... ugh... I ate too much, too quickly. Oh, this sucks. I'm sorry, I've never been... mortal... before."
She sways, feeling terrible.
"help" she manages before the stomach cramps brought on by eating too much too quickly when starved manage to force her into a little ball. She would not let the food win. She would kill it with her newly mortal insides, and relish it's suffering for a thousand years... or however long it took this "bread" to collapse into generic soul-stuff.
^she said, "being mortal sucks!" for the GM's information, since I know it wasn't clear. :)
Blinking, the young woman reaches out and pokes you a few times, seeming more curious than anything else. "Do you need to go to the hospital?" she asked. Hospital... Hospital... a word referring to a place where mortals received care from other mortals in order to help their bodies run more efficiently? "They get things from all over the Planes here, so they have to do some in-depth checks before they get in, but I'm sure they could help you." Yes, fantastic! Strap you down and study your body in detail, noting any irregularities that might be present! Like, say, the spirit of a truly chaotic entity who would probably corrupt the pleasant order of the city with its mere presence! This couldn't possibly go wrong, right?
"... no." she manges. Eventually the stomach cramps settle enough to physically in url herself. "No, def- nng - definitely, - urg - fine. Yes. Fine. Um... can I stay with you? Please? I kind of... I was hijacked by a bad person and woke up here. I was released and found entirely harmonious by the most excellent and dutiful workers here, and..." she looks around, suspiciously, "I'm not a citizen," she admits, "hence definitely no hospitals. Please." she adds.
Enhanced Diplomacy+Tap Inner Beauty net a total of +4 to her Diplomacy, and +2 to all other CHA-based.
She carefully examines herself and her surroundings, hunting out how she's doing, and seemingly probably going to be okay. She then pours on the charm, trying to understand the girl's motives, and trying to convince her that everything's fine and she definitely shouldn't go to the authorities, and being Heksfazia's friend is an awesome thing.
"In fact: may I please stay with you tonight? Maybe you can show me around, help me get a good feel for the place, and perhaps find free passage somewhere else?" she asks hopefully, and - just a little - suggestively.
The young woman who came over to help looks more entertained than anything else. "Actually, I was just on my way out." she said, indicating a larger group of people that were waiting a little ways back. "It's a nice city, but I don't think I'd actually want to live here. Of course, I can't promise that we'll be anywhere near your final destination, but..."
The young woman who came over to help looks more entertained than anything else. "Actually, I was just on my way out." she said, indicating a larger group of people that were waiting a little ways back. "It's a nice city, but I don't think I'd actually want to live here. Of course, I can't promise that we'll be anywhere near your final destination, but..."
Her eyes widen... "Oh. Oh, ****. Oh, yes, please." she practically begs the young girl. "I can guarantee that I you will not be any further away from any destination I could ever hope to have than I am at present! I can pay! ... well, sort of. I can give you a phenomenal tattoo! ... well, maybe; if I find some tools. And I won't eat anything! ... well, okay, apparently I will. Okay, so never-mind that last one - that's not true anymore. Um... well, I'm useful! ... or at least, I can be! Um... Probably!" she smiles sweetly. Then waivers and grimaces a little from stomach cramps from eating too quickly.
Presuming there's no actual objection, she holds onto the probably 'young' woman for dear, dear freedom (and, you know, life), and the ability to walk (weakly and cramped), and, hopefully, passage out of this miserably orderly place.
"You can, like, be my besty! ... or one of them, anyway! Fair warning, you might not actually be my besty, or at least not forever, but... at least... I'll like you! A lot!"
Some people were more suited for staying in Axis than others... and you are definitely not one of them. Rather, it might be best to get out of the city before the aura of oppressive order drives you insane, because you literally could not find any place more dedicated to rules and orderly conduct. Fortunately, as mentioned, the way of leaving the city is fairly simple - and the woman helping you seems quite willing to let you sit in a large, sturdy wagon. Two tall, blandly-featured humanoids are sitting on either side of what appears to simply be a circle in space, ignoring the world around them.
Spellcraft (DC 24):
The spell is Gate, a 9th level planar transport spell. The local gods seem to have done something very strange in terms of granting spells in order to allow two entities to focus so completely on the spell and hold it open.
One of the guards stares directly at you as you approach the gate, and you get the feeling that he knows exactly how chaotic you are - having a permanent Detect Alignment spell going wouldn't be unusual in a place like this. However, those who are leaving the city really aren't much of a concern, and he simply waves you through.
On the other side of the planar transport is...
Hell.
Quite literally this time. Your companion stretches, her skin rippling and turning red as the others in the little caravan start to disperse. "Have fun." she said, grinning widely as the planar portal winked out and slowly sauntering off.
All right, reviewing your situation...
The immediate area seems to be a bustling city of some kind, filled by various devils going about their business. In fact, most of them seem to be ignoring you for now, since this really isn't where the souls of sinners are going... but more importantly, you're feeling something else close by. It feels... well, like a part of yourself, actually. That shouldn't be possible, but there's no mistaking something that integral to the core of your very being. The real question is whether or not it's worth trying to pursue that now...
Though Exfeyzua had been fooled before, she had never really felt so very suckered. She liked the girl. Well done. She'd have to get her back somehow.
... but hey, at least it was only Hell, and not Axis. Thank herself for small favors. (Wait. What did I just do right there? Was that... was that a prayer I just did? Ugh. So mortal.) I mean, sure, she might eventually be driven insane from the order, but at least it's evil. That, at least, she could relate to. Gods of the **** ******* **** Abyss, could you have imagined what would have happened in *shudder* Heaven?
"But, wait!" she called out, "Don't you want to corrupt me! You know: take my virtue, 'deflower' me, -" she briefly wandered where mortals' flowers were anyway - "and then trick me into signing an infernal contact so that you may forever retain my soul as your own personal plaything?!"
She did her best to look desperate, "Not even to purchase a Wish or anything?! Hey! Nothing?"
Watching the lilin* walk away, getting a grip on her bearings, she 'startles' and then, as loudly as she can in celestial, "Oh! How rude of me! I wanted to say: thanks for the favor! Free of charge, even!"
"I'm 'Fae', by the way!" definitely not enough to summon her. Heh. "You're such a kind person to set me free from my entrapment that way, and to even make sure I could get home! Goodbye! I hope your infernal reputation doesn't suffer too much! It is nicer, here! And exactly where I needed to go, too! The light of Elysium continue to bless and guide you!"
"Hi, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall!" she purrs, looking around.
CHA:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22
"That incredibly kind young devil over there brought me here - thanks sweet heart! That was incredible! - and didn't want to damn my soul to hell!" she makes sure to point to the lovely creature walking away. "So, I've got a fairly newly-minted mortal soul, ripe for the potential reaping and/or corruption, and am very interested in making bargains! Any takers?" she adds the last a little more suggestively. Then, grinning wickedly, "Do be gentle with me: I'm new." she licks her lips, eagerly.
She waits. It's very possible none will take the bait, and she was laying it on a little thick... and obvious.
...but there's a sucker born every moment, fools regardless of the races, someone desperate (or looking to avoid staining their hard-earned reputation so recently tarnished through newly-minted scandalous rumors, hee-hee), and those ready or willing or both to believe practically anything. Then there were the interesting ones, those suffering from a severe case of pride. She liked those - they thought they could never be fooled, or could come out on top of anything if they were. So tasty, they were. Of course, then there was the possibility of being arrested. That had its own unique potential as well.
Sense Motive:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16She shops around at any who respond to her, assessing potential threats and those who are interested or likely going to just murder her - she avoids the latter.
Perhaps fortunately, there weren't too many demonic entities within earshot, and those who did looked... well... rather amused, actually. There was actually being innocent, and then there was pretending to be innocent, and it didn't seem like very many of them were fooled. It was also quite possible they knew something you didn't...
"You're overdoing it. Nobody's going to believe things like that." a tall devil said, stepping forward. Like the earlier woman, his skin was a brilliant red, and numerous small horns came out of his forehead. With a wave of his hand, the few devils still in the immediate area dispersed, and he smiled widely as he snapped his fingers, conjuring up a scroll and opening it. "And oh, dear me... according to this, it looks like you accepted a meal from one of our own, but never paid for it... or specified what that payment would be. Don't you know that everything has a price?" His sly grin widened.
She takes in a sharp breath. "Oh, wow!" she exclaims. "You are so cute!"
She smiles broadly and flounces toward him. "Here's the deal, Horny." she says, looking up at him. "You know you don't really want me. Well!" she grins suggestively, "at least not that way. I could be open to other suggestions, though." she smiles but then grows more serious. "See, I wouldn't digest very well. Now here's you, trying to wrangle me into something. Clever, but I don't really care, and, frankly, it's not really a thing you're putting too much effort into."
"No one here would try to do something so... petty as to wrangle a soul for bread. I accepted no agreement, as you noted. Besides, you lied: of course things are free, they're just not free to the person making them, which is why most people charge for stuff. So, here's the price I paid: I'm in hell. Voila! Price paid. No, seriously, if you're going this track you won't get far: as no agreement was made there is nothing legally binding, and, to quote your own Hd'ladaquathra - you remember him, the ancient respected duke who disappeared into the Abyss years ago by way of solar? -, 'Where the second party has no opportunity for knowledge, there can be no bargain. Hook them through gifts, then charge them for the stuff they need, once they've come to rely on you. To do otherwise invites the wrath of the heavens and your destruction.' Too bad he didn't take his own advice; besides that, you're wrong: I offered payment which was never requested, hence the burden fell entirely upon your own to accept or reject that side of the negotiation, which was never done - I guess tats just aren't for you, eh?"
Presuming it's not too hot to touch, she takes his hand. "So anyway, handsome. You want to make a bargain? Fine. Here's a general rough outline of one. You do me some favors, and I'll do you some. Sound fair? Bear in mind, your acknowledgement that it 'sounds fair' is entirely non-binding - to both of us. Point in fact, this entire conversation is! Wee! I love bargaining with devils - it's so easy and fun, I'll likely do so in the future, hence driving up traffic, increasing their knowledge and power and general capability, spreading their influence, and by proxy encouraging others to do the same- oh, wait, I'm in hell, and their trying to trick me. Nevermind. I suppose I won't be a valuable future ally."
Survival:1d20 + 9 ⇒ (2) + 9 = 11
"The truth is, I don't know my way around here. I could make it on my own, probably, but you don't want me to do that, as that nets you nothing. I could go down in a blaze of glory, but you don't want that as it causes too much anarchy in your ordered systems, and I get to leave this place anyway in that case. The last option is that you, for free, in terms of my payment, offer me help. This builds trust, gratitude, and positive feelings. When I eventually get out of here - and I will, regrettably - you will be on my 'friends list', which is a good list to be on."
Diplomacy:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23Or +9.
She grins. "And besides. If there is payment involved, I have several ways of ensuring you're... compensated." She smiles, happily. "According to my own definitions of 'compensated', of course, which, I assure you, is more fair to both of us than your own."
She pauses. "Oh, and if that girl's ever ticked your off, you can totally slip me a few gold coins - an interest-free loan with no time limit on the repayment - which I use as a favor to you as the full price to purchase her as my slave for eternity. If, on the other hand, you like her, you can just gift her to me for free, as I like her. A lot. Not willing to sell my soul for her though - that's boring and been done to death."
"Oh, and, hey: what's your name and hers? I'll buy that knowledge - and the ability to contact you later - with my own."
Arg! I forgot to make these checks! Sorry. Charsima:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23Hopefully, he likes her. :) Sense Motive:1d20 + 9 ⇒ (16) + 9 = 25to gauge his attitude and ideas. Knowledge (history):1d20 + 7 ⇒ (9) + 7 = 16To get a feel for historical contracts. Bluff:1d20 + 9 ⇒ (13) + 9 = 22I don't know why, but it seems like it might be appropriate.
The workers of Hell were not known for their senses of humor, or indeed much of anything besides cruelty. Yet this particular fellow laughed - a real, honest-to-goodness laugh bringing a few tears to his eyes. "You're fun." he admitted, smile growing ever wider. "In fact, part of me wants to turn you into one of us just so I could toss you at some mortals to see what happens." Especially because she talked so much - which was both a blessing and a curse. Of course, there was one other little issue... and despite his smile, there's something in his gaze that's just a little odd. He really does know something you don't, and that's almost certainly driving his actions.
"On the other hand... a hundred souls twisted from the start aren't worth even one soul fallen from grace. You're asking for quite a lot of effort on our part just for the chance at your dirty soul. I think you're over-estimating your value to us." Mouths weren't really supposed to have that many teeth... right? "Still, a soul is a soul... and I think you'll be quite easy to tempt." He snapped his fingers and another scroll appeared. With a wide smile, he held it by the top and let it roll down. The contents were quite simple... they were an offering to allow any god or other granter of spells the opportunity to provide a little bit more each day. "We love our bureaucracy, of course, so I'm afraid the paperwork would take quite some time to sort out... but I'd be quite interested to see just how long you can resist."
The Contract Devil is offering a scroll that will grant you the [Temptations] mythic ability if signed.
Temptations (Ex):
Temptations (Ex): You gain one temptation spell slot per spell level, even for spell levels you cannot yet cast. Each day any god (most often a hostile god) may prepare a spell in some, none, or all of those slots for you. The GM chooses these temptation spells and may apply metamagic feats to them without raising their slot level. The GM may make you aware of the temptation spell names immediately, as an ominous foreshadowing of what the day will bring, or the GM may tell you the names during some dire circumstance, just in time for you to cast one. The GM must also tell you the granting god’s name. If the spell has a verbal component, you must voice aloud the god’s name when casting the spell. Having miracle at your fingertips can be quite tempting, regardless of the grantor. Each time you cast a temptation spell from a hostile or unfriendly god, you lose favor with all helpful and friendly gods.
(GM Note: Depending on what happens, you could lose more than favor...)
Heksfazia's eyes widen. "Oh. Oh, wow. Oh, my wow. Oh, my **** **** wow."
She looks at him, eyes filled with joy. "Really? This... this is for me?! You're offering this to me?!" she catches her breath.
"... wow, so my 'dirty soul' really is that valuable to you guys. Like, shockingly valuable. That's... really good to know."
Hexy winks at him. "Thanks, but no way, Hot Fuzz. Seriously? Your offer is 'Put your fate into the hands of your mortal enemies - they'll totes grant you power, but it'll cost you the favor of the people you do like, and, you know, not inherently gain you favor with the ones granting stuff. Hence allowing you to fall ever-further into debt of those that don't like you.'? That's... remarkably cute."
She smiles. "Besides. I know how this works. I've run the ringers myself before. 'Oh, look: a situation where I need it. How convenient! Oh another! And another! Wow, what coincidences all lining up just for the sake of li'l ol' me!' No thank you." She looks at him with quite a bit of approval.
She appraises him. "Oh, sure, you could put me in those situations anyway. 'Oh why oh why didn't I accept' kind of things, but it's no where near the level of satisfaction - or value - you receive from getting me to sign of my own free will. Petty revenge is sweet, sure, but it's juuuuuuuuuust not the same as me offering my soul for free while simultaneously damning myself for all eternity."
She smiles and pulls out a piece of paper. She quickly scribes a contract on it. "Here's a similar offer, since you're into equities and such."
The contract is brief and absolute:
the hastily written contract wrote:
The undersigned (for the remainder of this document known as 'Hot Fuzz') shall hereby be irrevocably bound to the one who initially wrote this contract (for the remainder of this document known as 'Yes, Mistress'. In exchange, 'Yes, Mistress' will rule over 'Hot Fuzz' absolutely and without limit and will do the will of 'Yes, Mistress' to the best of 'Hot Fuzz''s ability in all cases, according to her intent more than hard letter, unless 'Hot Fuzz' genuinely believes she would prefer the latter (and/or that it would be better for her). Should any other contract or rule or other legal or magical binding or effect or other element or aspect of any reality of any sort prohibit this clause, that other other contract or rule or other legal or magical binding or effect or other element or aspect of any reality of any sort is annulled if possible or suspended for the duration of this contract if not. No party other than 'Yes, Mistress' (as defined at the time of the initial writing) shall, at any time, have rights, privileges, or responsibilities of editing the document, by any action - direct or indirect (including, but not limited to, the mental control or alteration of 'Yes, Mistress' by person or by proxy) - or by inaction. There will be no reprisal, infernal or otherwise, for this contract's creation, and, upon termination (or destruction) of the contract, both 'Hot Fuzz' and 'Yes, Mistress' will part ways as unlikely friends with no hard feelings whatsoever. 'Hot Fuzz' will love and adore 'Yes, Mistress' for all time and obey her as outlined above. Also probably wear bikini briefs, as they would look totally amazing on him.
"See? Equitable." she smiles, "In both of them, I get something nice and one of us may get screwed over or may not by the whims of some other power (or not, depending on how we go about it): they're basically the same thing, it's just that I vastly prefer the latter."
Enhanced Diplomacy+Tap Inner Beauty net a total of +4 to her Diplomacy, and +2 to all other CHA-based. Diplomacy:1d20 + 12 ⇒ (16) + 12 = 28or +13 for +29
"I mean, alternatively, you could just... jot your name down here, please, and the girl's." she gestures. "As a bonus, you could serve as my guide, friend, and ally (and provider of food that I need now, apparently), as well as an easy non-violent, non-painful, non-deadly method of leaving. The payment for all such services rendered is the guarantee that, when I eventually summon you - and be assured I will - it'll be on pleasant terms. Alternately, I offer a tattoo or two to remember me by, so long as you provide all the materials and there is no other pressing consideration that would otherwise prohibit said activity - basically anything reasonable for my sanity, safety or otherwise will take precedence over more immediate payments."
"And/or..." she says, "you could do me a favor with absolutely no strings attached or payment requested other than generating good will, retire with me to a place more private and comfortable, and you tell me what, exactly, it is that you know that's so important about me that's driving your actions."
She runs a hand across his forearm. "Frankly, I like you. A lot. I think we could have some good times together. You know: each of us constantly trying to... 'outmaneuver'... the other." she says, suggestively. "But I'm going to be frank: I'm not signing a sucker's contract. If you'd like, I'll certainly hold onto it for you, though, presupposing it doesn't count as acceptance or agreement to the contract to hold onto it for any length of time." she says.
Sleight of Hand:1d20 - 1 ⇒ (9) - 1 = 8 and STR:1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4to smoothly remove it... hm, so she just tugs on it, then, not moving it from his grasp. She turns it into a suggestion.
"Hm. Impressive grip! I've got to say, by the power of those hawt forearms, you're pretty persuasive: you sign my contract (and abide by it, as intended) or otherwise sign a functionally similar in all ways (for my purposes) other contract, and I'll sign yours in a heartbeat (presupposing a heartbeat takes long enough for me to actually sign it)."
Enhanced Diplomacy+Tap Inner Beauty net a total of +4 to her Diplomacy, and +2 to all other CHA-based. Diplomacy:1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31or +13 for +32Mythic Surge:1d6 ⇒ 6Total 32 or 33 CHA:1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20Mythic Surge:1d6 ⇒ 1Total 21
"I'll even sweeten the deal: I won't put you into a situation that I deem too dangerous. Nine Hells, I'll even let you stay here (or wherever) if you sign and abide by my contract, mostly doing exactly what you're doing now, with only the occasional input from me, at least for a little while. If you lose your job here, you wouldn't be too useful to me, after all."
I suppose I should be clear: as a player, I'm not looking to gain an inequitably potent resource this early in the game. I'm just making a friend. Later on, once the game has hit the stages where it doesn't matter too much, I'll probably return for him... but by that point, I'm pretty confident that it wouldn't matter. Similarly, for any combats that might break out soon, I'm basically allowing him an 'opt out' clause: I'll face stuff on my own, for now, but have a hypothetical 'ace in the hole' for Hexy for later. She's not going to waste it on anything so banal as 'deadly combat' at this point. Further, if an alternate contract that functions similarly for the purposes outlined above is generated here - sans any drawbacks -, I'd be very interested in that, too. I'd even be willing to hand-waive/abstract those negotiations.
Oh, a final note: my initial impression upon reading the contract was that it not only had the drawbacks listed, but also damned my soul to the hells - hence the strong reaction. When I realized it didn't note the damnation clause as you wrote it, she mellowed somewhat... but I'm still not sure. Hexy would not sign something that damned her soul, but lacking that clause, it's much more interesting. A test of her self-will, as it were.
Temptations is exactly as written. XD It does not damn (or save) any soul, merely tempt you away from where you are. In fact, if Hexy did too many evil things or got tempted too often, she'd start seeing spells prepared by good deities trying to pull her away from that. If this were a "the price is your soul" contract, I would certainly have noted it.
Heksfazia could be a remarkably persuasive person when she wanted to be... in fact, almost anybody else would probably have been falling all over themselves to sign the contracts, even if it was unlikely at best they would receive her soul. Yet the devils of Hell were the masters of contracts and agreements under the guidance of their lord Asmodeus, with honeyed words and sweet offers being their own tools and techniques.
Also, the DC for that kind of Diplomacy here was higher than you rolled.
The same wide grin remained on his face as he waited patiently. "'Good will'... heh." Not exactly the kind of thing his kind were known for offering; there was always a hook. He calmly touched a finger to the side of his eyes, and a pair of small, gold-rimmed glasses formed. "Oh, we don't really need to go anywhere special." he noted, indicating the empty space around them. The other devils in the area had been noticeably lower in level than he, and cleared out earlier on his command. "I doubt the rest of the Outer Spheres would have noticed, but we like to treat examinations of the soul as something of a specialty..." The rims of his glasses glinted in the light. "And yours is the most pitiful, broken-down thing I've ever seen. We can accept twisted souls, but we'd rather not have incomplete ones. It's so... inefficient... when we have to specifically go out and get the rest. Now, I suppose I could just hand this over as a favor and investment..." He clapped his hands and an object appeared between them, surrounded by a sphere of crackling black energy - and every bit of your remaining divine power surges upward, desperately trying to connect with what it recognizes as a fragment of itself, your godly power split from your mortal form. "...but that's not the way we do things here. If you ever want to be complete, you'll have to deal with us. Of course, I rather doubt that you'd sell us your entire soul just to get part of it back..." he peered over the rims of his glasses. "But I'm sure you'll be far more willing to bargain certain services. There's something we wouldn't object to being done, and if we know anything here, it's how to reward those who help us."
There we go. This is what he'd been after the whole time.
She grins. "Ah. Now that is a pretty pretty. At last we get to the point of all this. So, to get this thing, you'll want me to be signing on for Temptations, and...? What's part two of your request (as I'm sure there's a part two)?" she asks. "I mean, I could still give you a single tattoo (according to all the caveats above) to remember me by as the second part of said payment... but you've seemed so 'meh' to the idea, a girl-" she checks, and, ensuring that she is, in fact, a girl, continues, "might get the idea you're not interested!" Exfaezua pouts a little... in humor.
Enhanced Diplomacy+Tap Inner Beauty net a total of +4 to her Diplomacy, and +2 to all other CHA-basedCultural Adaptation adds an additional +2 Diplomacy:1d20 + 14 ⇒ (16) + 14 = 30or +15 for +30. CHA:1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 20
We're good, ref: the DCs and him signing anything. I didn't know how high it was, and wasn't trying to get another character traveling 'round with me besides, hence my explanations for GM use. Especially after I used the mythic power, I was concerned you might feel obligated to do something you didn't want to. :) (I am still impressed at my 32 roll, though. :D)
On that note, could I have used my mythic surge to add cultural adaptation (another +2) to the above checks? It's fine if it doesn't meet a DC: I'd just intended to do that, and forgotten (probably due to toddler-induced fun); I'll just presume the expenditure of mythic power. It does last for 30 minutes, though, with my mythic ability. Even if I can't consider it retroactively (which is fine - it's basically just me going "Arg! I forgot!" which happens sometimes in games :D) consider it used going forward, as noted above.
Ref: temptations: good to know.
Ref: Tap Inner Beauty, by my guesstimations, I've got about 6-8 rounds of it left after this post (it lasts 1 minute). Let me know if I need to have considered it cast again, as it's a limited resource (I've used two of my possible four since sleeping: one on the girl, and one on him). Enhanced Diplomacy is not limited.
"Oh, the Temptations merely seemed amusing." he observed, raising an eyebrow. "It's quite fun, watching people dither and stress about whether or not it's worth it... particularly if they're in deep trouble if they don't. As for the task, it's nothing major... I just want you to tempt a certain priest and, when he's fallen completely away, kill him. I've already seen to it that his soul will arrive here when it's judged. You'll find him through there." He snapped his fingers and another planar gate opened. "And upon your success, I'll return this piece of your soul to you. Unless you'd rather not get it back, of course... in which case you're free to leave through there and go back to a broken existence."
"But, of course, you're making this far too easy. And not telling me stuff. Who's the priest? Who does he worship? And why is he so important that, getting me to get him to fall, gets me back my soul-piece? You're adorable, really, Honey, but, barring more information, I likely won't succeed, meaning you'll lack two souls (okay, well, I suppose you'll only be delayed one, but you get the point)."
Then, suddenly, "... wait, wait, waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiit." she stops. "You'll be... watching? You... like to watch? Mmmmmm... yes, that does make Temptations more enticing." she grins wickedly at him. Winking, she licks her lips, accepts the Temptations scroll, and carefully places it in her pack. "Consider me intrigued, and I'll be thinking over it more, and likely signing it. Soon."
Enhanced Diplomacy+Tap Inner Beauty net a total of +4 to her Diplomacy, and +2 to all other CHA-based
Cultural Adaptation adds an additional +2 Diplomacy:1d20 + 14 ⇒ (17) + 14 = 31or +15 = 32 Bluff:1d20 + 11 ⇒ (11) + 11 = 22 CHA:1d20 + 6 ⇒ (16) + 6 = 22
Then she examines the locket, carefully, trying to get a feel for what it is, what it does, and what the strange cackling black energy is.
Detect Magic
Knowledge (religion):1d20 + 7 ⇒ (7) + 7 = 14 Spellcraft:1d20 + 7 ⇒ (11) + 7 = 18 Use Magic Device:1d20 + 10 ⇒ (11) + 10 = 21, Mythic Surge:1d6 ⇒ 6 total UMD 27 plus any resonance for being her soul-piece.
"Though I've got to say." she adds, absently, at the powerful devil, examining the 'soul piece', "you should really be nicer. It's totes a jerk move, regardless of how you're trying to negotiate to tell a girl her soul is ugly - even if it's true! You should try not being a jerk. It's more enticing."
"Now tell me two more things (in addition to the mission information): one, how do I know you're not lying, and two, how do you like your forearm massages?" She continues examining the locket while beginning a massage, not really paying attention to the arm she's massaging.
One thing you can't do is activate it until you actually have it...
While the black aura is obviously magical, your current expertise and understanding of magic aren't enough to really help you understand what the aura is - though it seems clear enough it's not something that came with the item. Rather, it seems like something added in to protect it - and it wouldn't be very surprising if touching it were to result in some incredibly nasty effect.
However, your attention is pulled away from the item as fire erupts out of the devil's arms, though you are able to pull away in time unless you actually want to be enveloped by the flames. Even that, however, is almost unnoticeable compared to the look he gives you. This may be Hell, but his gaze is cold enough to make an ancient frost wyrm feel utterly inadequate. His words, however, are delivered calmly and clearly.
"Don't ever call me a liar."
There were some things you really shouldn't say to the people who did the contracts in Hell. Sure, they were often misleading - that was a point of pride, even. And they may not have told the whole truth when they did give it... but they were not liars, and mortals were lucky to even survive suggesting that the exact letter of their word, once given, was not trustworthy. There was almost certainly more to his request - anyone who thought otherwise would be stupid as well as crazy. However, he'd meant exactly what he said... and people had best think carefully before claiming otherwise.
I wasn't trying to activate it: I was trying to figure out what it did.
Hexy laughs, heartily. "Ooh! Feisty! I like it. Though seriously, Hot-n-Cold, you need to watch you're temper. You're a deceiver - just like me. 'Lies' take many different meanings, and I called you nothing: you presumed to take umbrage at a question, not even an implication. Don't be a ****: I asked because I want to know. Clearly, to you, based on your reaction, 'lies' means 'I'm telling you that which is not true' in a literal, rather than figurative sense. Silly boy: that's not what that word means to everyone. We trick and mislead people, you and I, all the time. You just follow strictures that most people don't bother with, linguistically: it's a generic word I used before, not a specific one."
She smiles, pleasantly. "So, here's a question: what is this, and what does it do for me? I know how it feels, but you've got some nice energy going on there, and you're being very careful to tell me little and rush me into an agreement. Which is the piece of the soul - item or energy? And how will you 'return' it? I like things handed nicely over to me, preferably in a good state, in a manner that I can handle pleasantly. You're precise, so here's precise: I want this handled in good faith, not chicanery or clever scheming. There are a million ways the two of us could legally scam the other, no matter how precise we attempt to make our wording out to be."
She returns to examining the item, ignoring the fact that he could crush her like a bug.
I figured I've rolled enough for this check. It's just a continuation of my last check/statements. Heh - a devil being insulted over being called a liar. I like him!
The Spellcraft DC to identify its properties through the aura surrounding it is... very high. Especially because the aura is actively interfering with your attempts to analyze it. XD You'll have to actually come into possession of it to learn what it does.
The devil shrugged slightly, his gaze warming up a bit... eventually. However, you do get the feeling that pushing him on this matter is probably a bad idea. He won't hesitate to kill you if he's insulted enough. Creatures of an inherently lawful bent (like basically all the denizens of this land) have a... different... way of looking at certain things. The shades that chaos sees aren't always present in their sight. "Oh, energy, of course. The item is little more than a vessel for phenomenal power... but then, the same could be said for bodies and minds." He spun the item around a bit, allowing the examination. "I will return it by removing the aura I've placed around it and placing it into your hands, at which point I will recognize you as the legitimate owner and I will relinquish all claims upon both item and soul."
"I'll take that and the guarantee that you will not - by action or inaction - immediately or within a relatively short duration thereafter (as I would account such things) seek, permit, allow, request or in any other way attempt or enable others to kill, incapacitate, incarcerate, or otherwise inhibit my personal freedom and life-functions."
She pauses. "I'm not going to tie you or myself down to a specific time-frame: it's the spirit of the agreement (as I understand that phrase), that I'm talking about, and someone with an intellect as mighty as your own can clearly understand what I'm talking about. Also a name by which I can summon you later, for the potential of more bargaining... and maybe - just maybe - if you treat me right, more mutual rewards or quests."
"Besides, trust me: giving me your name will be much more pleasant than making me find it. Of course, I'd also take a few clues to be able to find you more easily later."
GM: I don't need a specific name. Something as simple as "he writes something unpronounceable and evil on a paper" works. Hexy's eager.
Once he jots down something, down to business.
"Alright hot-shorts. So, I'll take your passage - free of charge or other expected or required payment or action either immediately or at any point in the future - and look into the possibility of doing this thing for you. If I accomplish the task, the bargain is completed. If I don't, it's not, but there's no hard feelings. I might come back to see you again, later, though."
With the agreement made, and verbally cemented on both sides, she flounces for him toward the portal, takes one moment to wink back at him, and heads through.
Charisma:1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 4 + 2 = 22
GM: I just realized that I've basically made you spend *checks* a week negotiating whether or not I'd accept a GM hook/quest.
>.<
Oops. Sorry. I... can be dense sometimes.
XD
So I enacted a brief narrative to hurry through this to actually allow you to do something other than negotiate with a player who's a bit too dense to take the hints/bait. Just... just know that I'll try not to accidentally-purposefully invert your dungeons by going through them backwards like I did that one time.
Hah! It was actually quite fun playing this guy. ^^ I'm not aiming for any particular pace - you're free to spend as much or as little time as you'd like on any given thing.
"One week as measured normally on the Material Plane." the devil said, the side of his mouth twitching again as he noted a far more specific timeframe. The other interpretation was far more open to wiggle room... and they'd never accept that. More to the point, he was a devil. Temporary respites were one thing, but nobody should have been surprised if they tried to leave their options open. On the bright side, planar travel seems to be your thing lately, and as you step through, you find yourself in...
Someplace that's not Hell.
Oh, good. Third time's the charm, then. Ahead of you is a large door leading deep into the earth, probably some kind of dungeon or fortress. That friendly fellow who showed you the way probably could have deposited you right on top of the fellow you're trying to find, but that would have been a bit too nice of him. On top of that, however, judging by the skulls and candles surrounding the entrance... there probably is some kind of religious group inside. Somewhere within it, anyway.
Now that you're through the portal, however, you finally have the opportunity to look down at the paper, where the mark of the devil you were talking to sizzles slightly. It's actually quite clear, really, without the kind of incomprehensible scrawl some might use to stop others from seeing or knowing their name. Even your limited knowledge of the religions of the universe planes is enough to recognize the symbol to the left of the signature, though... and the name Asmodeus.
Jya (as she felt like right now) looked at the mark.
Then she giggled... just a little. Then she giggled some more.
Oh, yes. This was... marvelous.
"Sounds fair enough." she whispered lasciviously toward the darkness, knowing that he was paying attention, now.
She grinned, slowly.
Well: time to see what I'm doing. she thought to herself. She quickly looked around to get an appraisal of the place, her situation, and anything that was obviously happening. Any particular points to note about the situation, location, and religion? Etc. As well, she searches out anything to make a clever trap... just in case.
Knowledge (dungeoneering):1d20 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17 Knowledge (religion):1d20 + 7 ⇒ (11) + 7 = 18 Perception:1d20 + 6 ⇒ (12) + 6 = 18 Dexterity:1d20 - 4 ⇒ (11) - 4 = 7Stealth: nope; Mr. Black Blood doesn't like t3h stealthy. She exceeds a DC 5, though! So she's not, you know, slamming into clattery things! :D She's probably just walking normally, her boots making soft and slight 'tep-tep-tep' noises. And maybe her stomach slightly growls - bread was the last thing she ate, after all. Craft (trap):1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11Also nope. Welp. Not doing so hot on the tricky skills right now...
After appraising the situation, she glanced around: excited. She suspected it would be better to be not suspicious... at first, anyway. She put her best "innocent" face on (well... "sort-of innocent" anyway... "innocent-enough-for-these-peoples'-purposes" would probably be a better description; heh), and headed down into the depths.
If the passage looks too dark to see... Jya carefully collects one of the candles.
Bluff:1d20 + 9 ⇒ (19) + 9 = 28She totally belongs here/is entirely one of the people here. +2 for the next about five rounds? Diplomacy:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (7) + 8 = 15Or +9. Since she's totally one of the people supposed to be here, hopefully this DC will be lower...; also I've got a +4 for the next 5 rounds or so. Survival:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7She... has no idea which way is north. Got it. Sense Motve:1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17I almost forgot! She needs to know what's going on with these folk...
With everything ready, and weapons in hand, Jya sets off down the path, following the path forward... though carefully, of course, as it may well be trapped.
I'm probably just going to presume these rolls until otherwise noted that I need to make more, or something just looks like I should make a specific roll for a specific character or moment. Do let me know!
I will be tracking your progress through the dungeon here. Feel free to reference this anytime to see more of where you're at. I'm also going to just assume you're doing things like checking for traps, so don't worry about making the rolls every few feet - I'll ensure they're done as necessary. It'll speed things up a lot. XD Please be clear about how you're moving so I know which route to put you through!
The air of the dungeon is surprisingly pleasant as you step into it, with an average temperature that's neither too hot nor too cold. That's quite fortunate, really, considering the way these places can get a bit nuts. The floors are made of a sturdy flagstone, while the walls are made of what looks like some kind of masonry - with a bit of effort (DC 20), you could climb them and avoid any spot on the floor. There doesn't seem to be anyone in this particular corridor - whoever the residents are, they're likely further inside. Ten feet down the hall, and the first interesting thing you can see after you arrive, is a sturdy-looking iron door. Unfortunately, it's locked (DC 25), and its nature as an iron door (Hardness 10, HP 60) means that breaking it down wouldn't be so easy. On the bright side, the corridor also goes away from the room, and you might have better luck that way if getting through this door proves too much of a challenge...
As she currently lacks any tools or other devices (netting her a maximum check of 21 without armor) she opts to head down the hallway. However, she gives the door a promising look: she won't forget the one that got away...
After a bit of a loop, the hallway turns north, where you can see a wooden portcullis. It's lowered, but not locked - a bit of effort (Strength DC 25) would suffice to lift it up, or you could try to shatter it outright (Break DC 28)... assuming you didn't just hack away at it, anyway (Hardness 5, 30 HP). However, the lighting in the area remains a little on the low side - you can't quite tell if there's anything in the room or not.
After briefly testing the portcullis it's beyond her strength to affect, and going with the presumption that "not making a tremendous fuss" is the best option, at present, Jya decides to continue down the other path she noted before. Still, before going any further, since she's starting to feel a bit lost, she returns to the entrance.
There, she marks 'entrance' in Abyssal, as near to the ceiling as she can reach, pointing up the stairs. She notes 'locked door 1' next to the locked door in the same manner, and 'wooden portcullis 1' next to the wooden portcullis in the same manner still. She marks the direction to the entrance in a similar manner at every intersection.
Ah-huh. That should help with navigation - at least a little. Jya thought to herself.
Dependent on how you rule it, I'll do one of the two (or, depending on how you rule it, four) following things:
If I should meta-game just a tad for speedy gameplay:
Jya heads down the right branch of the hallway, to see what she can find. Upon reaching the dead-end, she carefully searches for any secret doors, hidden caches, traps, or other deceits taking 20, if possible, being highly suspicious of dead ends, even though it's pretty clearly a dead end.
If I should avoid all meta-gaming:
Jya notes the branching path to her right, but continues to her left, as she has been.
If she can successfully recognize the room beyond from the entryway (unlikely due to her Survival?), she'd go back and briefly check the side passage as described above. If she cannot recognize the room beyond, she'd carefully mark 'entrance/exit <- that way' in Abyssal as high up as she could reach again, and proceed to explore the room that way.
It doesn't even take to the end of the hallway before you find a trap set into the ceiling - you've found what appears to be a swinging axe trap, one quite hard to avoid, set into the ceiling where the hallway begins to go further to the right. It would be one thing if the trap were triggered by a pressure plate or something... but your careful and cautious examination notes that simply moving forward will be enough to trigger it. It's still possible to disable it (DC 20) if you had the skills... but if not, you'll need to find another way through... or just dive forward and hope for the best, since the axe doesn't seem quite strong enough to kill you.
Nasty place, this one. Three paths, each with their own sort of problem...
Incidentally, this dungeon was randomly generated. XD I didn't pick this stuff!
Turning around, she carefully marks "HEY! TRAP!" in Abyssal on the wall, including a few more instructions to denote to herself where the trap resides, and heads back around the hallway to the portcullis.
She sighs. Brute force: it always comes down to brute force.
Strength:1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4Nope.
The Portcullis doesn't budge an inch. She blinks. After waiting a moment, she tries again.
Strength:1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6Hahah. It's actually amusing, as much as sad.
Again. she thinks to herself.
Strength:1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13Oh! I almost had something there!
She manages to shift the device ever-so-slightly, but as soon as she tries to get a better grip, it immediately collapses back into place.
Getting absolutely no where, she heads back to the trap. Jya breathes, carefully. Readying her hammer to try to catch one of the swinging blades with her hook, Jya tries creating water in the area about 25 feet away, or at least out of the range of the trap, hopefully setting off the trap by having a material presence passing through suddenly.
CMB:1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 3 + 2 = 12I... doubt that does anything.
Jya frowns, thinking. Heading back out of the dungeon, briefly, she quickly scrounges up a rock and a club. Cost: 0 gold; presumably, this is just a hard stick somewhere from the local environs: a hard rock works too, or something equally solid that can hopefully
Heading back to the grate, she creates a lever: the heavier/more rounded rock she places as a base, using the hard stick or rock to wedge under the door, and then simply lean her full weight against the weight of the portcullis, pushing down with all of her might.
Strength:1d20 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 + 2 = 6I'm adding a presumed +2 cricumstance bonus for leverage. ... okay, looks like it doesn't matter.
"**** you, too." she half-whispers at the grate.
Heading over to the trapped hallway, she tosses the rocks and wood down the corridor from 10 ft. away.
Enjoy hard stone, my metallic bladed friends. she quietly whispers in her mind at the vicious trap. Unless they were some exotic metal, the hard slam of the trap on the rock should dull the blades... hopefully enough.
I'm unlikely to be able to post tomorrow, but so the game doesn't have to sit fallow, if she can carefully examine the traps after the rocks get thrown and suspects they're safe, she'll try to buzz past them as fast as possible.
If not, she shrugs and goes hacking at some wood, singing a 'sacred' (and very vague) song 'to the divine'.
Bluff:1d20 + 9 ⇒ (17) + 9 = 26
Diplomacy:1d20 + 8 ⇒ (18) + 8 = 26Or +9 = 18
In case it's needed for anything (including bashing a door down):
Initiative:1d20 ⇒ 5
Ranged Attack:1d20 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2Shortbow:1d6 ⇒ 6 Ranged Attack:1d20 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7Shortbow:1d6 ⇒ 6 Ranged Attack:1d20 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5Shortbow:1d6 ⇒ 2 Ranged Attack:1d20 + 1 ⇒ (13) + 1 = 14Shortbow:1d6 ⇒ 2 I don't actually suspect that I'll be able to actually get off that many ranged attacks, but, you know, just in case.
Unfortunately, tossing things through the space where the trap waits doesn't seem to have much of an effect.. it's possible they simply aren't large enough to trigger it. Brute force eventually wins the day, though, as your hammer suffices to bash down the wooden portcullis and reduce it to chunks of wood that no longer bar your passage.
There's a rustling sound above you, however, and you're able to look up just in time to see something up near the ceiling...
Initiative:1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9
While not the fastest creature ever, it is a little quicker off the mark than you are, swooping down to slam into you.
Fortunately for you, you're able to slip to the side despite its power, swinging your flail in retaliation... and watching the blow go very wide indeed. Well, they were never the easiest weapon to control. Seemingly without hesitation, the creature lifts up slightly and slams forward again and again, its flight keeping it just out of the range of your attacks.
After several exchanges, however... the creature finally slams into you, and it's a heck of a blow, far heavier than it seems like it should be able to manage. Its tendrils lash out a moment later, trying to get a good grip on you so the beast can begin to feast.
Grapple:1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7vs your 17 CMD.
However, maybe it's just not very good at this sort of thing... or maybe you're simply too adept at wiggling when things are trying to grab you. Whatever the reason, it's unable to get a good grip on you, and it dodges to the side after your retaliatory blow... only to shoot in once again.
This blow came much closer than many of the others... in fact, only your inexplicable connection to nature seems to have helped you enough to slip away from the blow and avoid another blow. This small, flapping creature is... far luckier than it has any right to be.
