Group one: We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master TheHairyAvenger

His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, has called you to the moot house at the centre of Licktoad Village. Slorb, an overdressed Pompous Goblin, greets you at the door pushing his lens-less glasses up his nose as he does "Chief Gutwad waits." He opens the door and you enter a large room filled with trophies of Licktoad heroics; Stolen Weapons, Shiny treasure and the pickled bodies of small furry animals adorn the walls and shelves of the large room. At the centre of the room you see him, Chief Rendwattle Gutwad. He has squeezed his wide girth into a six foot high teeter chair. His Throne!!! The chief never speaks to anyone but his advisor Slorb and then only in whispers due to the great power of his voice.

Slorb moves over to the side of the great chair and his nasally voice rings out "Sit on the dirt!!" As you sit in front of the chief he suddenly speaks, his voice booming into the room.

“You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission. You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there!"

“I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”

After he finishes speaking Slorb quickly leads you out of the hall giving you the map to the firework cache [/b]"Prepare for big fire now."[b] before returning to the chief.

Now is the time to make introductions talk about what just happened etc. You have until evening when there will be a bonfire held in you honour.

Farg farg looks at the others with a smile so big, the the corners of his mouth almost actualy touch on the back of his head. "See Big Chief know I big bad hero!We find fire works and brink back to big chief then I even bigger hero!" The young goblin's feet begin to shuffel back and forth and his arms flap starngly at his sides."Now we dance! Maybe make nug nug with hot goblin girl they stole from Spank Oodle tribe!" The cavalier runs at the large black wolf, Fangface, and tackles it. They both roll around in the dirt, the wolf snapping his teeth at the goblins face and Farg farg laughing hysterically.

Scrapeknee enters in in full religious regalia. Proud, noble...carrying all the dignity of his ...

Slorb moves over to the side of the great chair and his nasally voice rings out "Sit on the dirt!!" As you sit in front of the chief he suddenly speaks, his voice booming into the room.

Scrapeknee quickly sits on the dirt. One thing being in the goblin clergy teaches you, it's when to hit dirt.

"You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission. You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there!"

Scrapeknee strokes his unholy symbol and thinks what this could mean. More power fire boom to tribe. More possible burns among enemies , more burns and scars among us maybe? Lamashtu sure to like disfiguring either way.

“I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”

"We find them, glory to Lamashtu, Licktoads, and its great chief!"Scrapeknee says with energy.

They are led out

Farg farg looks at the others with a smile so big, the the corners of his mouth almost actualy touch on the back of his head. "See Big Chief know I big bad hero!We find fire works and brink back to big chief then I even bigger hero!" The young goblin's feet begin to shuffel back and forth and his arms flap starngly at his sides."Now we dance! Maybe make nug nug with hot goblin girl they stole from Spank Oodle tribe!" The cavalier runs at the large black wolf, Fangface, and tackles it. They both roll around in the dirt, the wolf snapping his teeth at the goblins face and Farg farg laughing hysterically.

Scrapeknee nods , "Lamashtu bless nug nug. But we ALL be heroes or this not work. You heard chief, we come back heroes or not at all."

Snark silently followed. He always avoided chief as he looked not so nice but now he wasn't scared any more because he had gun. Maybe that was why he could now hear chief without cowering?

"We's get them fireworks chief! We's have great party when we's returned with firework. Maybe I can learn how to make firework if we not burn one?" He'd be a hero to his people if he could actually make firework, maybe he could even become chief then.

When he sees the map Snark starts studying it. "Hmm, I's never been there before. Been lots of places, but not there." He caresses his gun, "Me's got no time for nug nug, I's need to make sure gun is good for tomorrow!"

Farg farg sits up and shoves Fangface away. "I big hero, chief said. He know I like out of stories. Me and Fangface." The goblin shoves the black wolf again and it snapps at his backside. " We get fireworks. You stay close,I keep you from dead lands."

Scrapeknee also studies the map though he listens to the other goblins as they talk. "Gonna be much glory if we do this right, glory for all. Mmm me never be there either"

Vilthik takes a knee on the dirt when prompted, listening intently to the mighty chief, containing himself with his prideful composure. Upon the mentioning of making any men, dogs, and horses dead, however, he cannot resist allowing a wide, wicked smile to corrupt his face. He momentarily lets his mind drift, imagining the hunt. After the chief finishes, Vilthik stands, running his thumbs on the hilt of sword and haft of axe.

"This one makes many man-creatures dead, great chief. So many tongues will this one steal that he could make a mighty crown for you. No failures, mighty one, this one will keep these lick-spits in line, oh yes.

Farg farg looks at the others then to Fang face and shrugs before turning back to Scrapeknee. "If you been there you no need map would you?"
He slaps at the black wolf as it tries to bite him on the upper left leg and cocks his head to the side as he looks at Snark. "Me hear right? You no time for nug nug? Why you gun more better than nug nug?"

"Had to see map to be sure it was place me not been before..." Scrapknee shrugs.

"Gun save life, is gift from Zogmugot! Maybe if I's use gift good and be a story hero I's make nug nug with god hero! Need to have gun perfect for tomorrow so I's no die. Kill Lots-legs before she sees us." He patted the seemingly enormous gun while he stuck his other hand in a pouch filled with pellets.

Vilthik nods sharply. "Lots-Legs is also having Lots-Eyes. Must be very sneaky-sneak to kill her. This one knows sneaky-sneak. Lots-Legs even better prey than man, maybe. No tongues, but legs for all. Enough legs for all of these ones, yes yes. Enough and all be heroes. None running from prey, or this one put arrow in back for being afraidy-beetle."

As night falls there are several Goblins speeding around the camp piling sticks twigs and virtually anything flammable in a heap so that they can light a Great Bonfire, the smell of raw fish wafts by you as the biggest and best fishies are brought out. A great feast has been planned, snails, snakes, fish, Halfling fingers, Human nuggets and much more is spread across a huge makeshift table. A hush comes over the camp as a huge keg of apple cider is brought out and sat on the table. Preparations are over and the Goblins silently stand and wait in awe as their chief is carried out on his Teeter Chair by four struggling Goblins. They place him near the fire and he lifts up a strange looking candle.

He lights a match, eliciting an audible gasp and suddenly shooting fireworks fly from the candle, they blast into the Bonfire engulfing it in flame. Screams and squeals break the silence. The Party Has Begun.

If you wanted to know anything about Lots of Legs etc before moving to this part you can roll an untrained knowledge local against a DC of 10. If you don't get that asking around for an hour will give you the following information:

Vilthik nods sharply. "Lots-Legs is also having Lots-Eyes. Must be very sneaky-sneak to kill her. This one knows sneaky-sneak. Lots-Legs even better prey than man, maybe. No tongues, but legs for all. Enough legs for all of these ones, yes yes. Enough and all be heroes. None running from prey, or this one put arrow in back for being afraidy-beetle."

Farg farg makes a disqusted face and sticks his toung out as if he had tasted something bad before turning to Vilthik. "Ohs yeah. You da' crazy one, run around cutting tounges from da longshanks and wearin them." The goblin turns and slapps his wolf on the snout before turning to Snark and continuing. "Least he not like crazy Hairgut of Hang nail tribe. He ran adround cutting off longshankes naughty bits and wearing them like big chief head dress. "

"Yeah, Hairgut real ####head.. Scrapeknee agrees with Farg on that one. Being a prudent goblin, he takes his time not just to celebrate, but gather information and listen to stories of what they might be facing. He didn't survive acolyte training just to become food for giant spiders or crazed widows

Vilthik narrows his eyes and walks off, grumbling. "This one have many tongues. Kill many man-creatures." At the feast he sits on the ground, sharpening axe, blade, and arrow point, musing on the map, puzzling through his brain to extract any bits of useful information that would help him hunt the dangers that it mentioned. He walks over to tables at random intervals and stabs at food with his short sword, putting bits of this and that in his mouth.

Knowledge (Local): 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15

"Cut tongues or parts is silly if you not eat them. I dare you cut tongue from big frog in the swamp. I's have killed one with my gun. I's shot from hiding." Snark decides he'd listen to the tales of the oldies in town, they always knew quite a bit as they had somehow managed to survive all of it.

As the night carries on the Goblins get more and more drunk. Some of the female Goblins formed a gang and chased the males around screaming at them for "Nug nug for baby."

Several of the Goblins round the 4 of you into a corner awe is written across their faces at been given the chance to speak with great champions "Slorb say you are great warriors, he say you bring more fireworks." one of the younger ones reaches out to touch Scrapeknee. "You great warriors, will you dance with...Squealy Nord?" Suddenly the party goes quiet at his words, everyone is staring.

You know that Squealy Nord is a ferocious pig and to dance means to ride on him for 3 rounds.

If any of you wish to go straight away and ride Nord resolve against a ride DC of 15. You must remain on the pig for 3 rounds to win the dare.

Here is a picture of the ferocious beast.

[UOTE]Several of the Goblins round the 4 of you into a corner awe is written across their faces at been given the chance to speak with great champions "Slorb say you are great warriors, he say you bring more fireworks." one of the younger ones reaches out to touch Scrapeknee. "You great warriors, will you dance with...Squealy Nord?" Suddenly the party goes quiet at his words, everyone is staring.

Scrapeknee was busy looking at the female goblins, wishing he had studied how to gather stiffystuck herbs so he could better perform the duties of Lamashtu for longer and began gobbrats as the goddess, in her divine insanity, has decreed.

So he's a bit surprised when touched, "We bring more fireworks. Do great glory for Licktoads and Lamashtu. You want see hero dance with Squeely Nord?" He looks to Farg Farg, "Farg Farg can ride anything I am thinking! Farg Farg, you want show?"

Farg farg chases the female goblins right back, offering up his superior genetics for the next generation of Lick Toads.
Afterwords a little worn out but smiling completely around his own rather large head, the young cavalier listens to the other goblins speak in awe of the great hero. When Scrapeknee mentions him riding Squeely Nord, Farg farg stands up strait and slicks back his ears then thumps his chest. "Hells yeah! I ride that Squeely Nord like Is stole 'em! I big bad hero! You all see! Now get out way."

The young cavalier praticaly runs to get on the back of the ferocious beast. He jumps on the beast back and grabs it around the neck and squeels in a rather unhero like voice. "Turn it lose!"

Ride:1d20 + 12 ⇒ (16) + 12 = 28
Ride:1d20 + 12 ⇒ (17) + 12 = 29
Ride:1d20 + 12 ⇒ (8) + 12 = 20

Snark avoided the girls by hiding, like he always did. No that he really needed to in the past, but now he suddenly was a target for them. "Stupid girlies. I's a hero, I's need a baby mama that's also a hero so all my kiddies are born heroes."

When the kid asked them about riding Squealy Nord Snark shook his head, "I's turn Nord into bacon when he's big. I stole bacon secret from humans when looking." Still, Snark paid very close attention to Farg riding Nord, partly out of jealousy and partly because he didn't want him to damage bacon.

Farg Farg easily rides the pig and everyone cheers, even Squealy Nord seems to like you. After you get off Slorb comes over carrying a gift. "Big Dragon fire!!!" The Goblins ohhh and ahhh. This is a great gift. You are handed a large bottle. The liquid inside looks volatile and as you take it the glass feels hot.

This is an elixir of fire breath.

Farg farg practicly beems after jumping off Squeely Nord. The young goblin stands in the pen with his arms extended over his head and waves to the crowd by fanning his hands forward and backwards at the wrist.

The cavalier takes the bottle and looks at it with awe written all over his face. "Farg farg use big dragon fire to burn enemys! Just like in the stories!" He holds the gift over his head and begins to shuffle his feet, looking very much like he had just eaten some poisonouse mushrooms. " See! I big bad hero!"

Ride to quick dismount.1d20 + 12 ⇒ (19) + 12 = 31

Having avoided the possibility of social humiliation by delegating, as all good leaders, spiritual or secular, do, Scrapeknee applauds, "Praise Lamashtu for bringing so many heroes to Licktoad tribe!"

Not wanting to be outdone, Vilthik puts away blade and axe and skulks up to Squealy Nord. "This one can ride, too, oh yes. Saving skills for beastie that can eat many men-creatures, but will practice now to show I hero." He clambers up onto the pig with a hard look of determination.

Ride: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (10) + 12 = 22
Ride: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (20) + 12 = 32
Ride: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (12) + 12 = 24

Everyone cheers once more at Vithik's spectacular ride however Slorb smiles and points to both you and Farg Farg "You share. But There is more Dares for you all to do." He clears his throat and pulls out a strange wriggling bag from one of his pockets You must eat five Bull Slugs in one minute!!! You know that these slugs are nasty to eat even for Goblins. He pulls one out to show the ever gathering crowd, the slug is huge, deep black and incredibly slimy. Large blobs of slime drip from the slug as Slorb wiggles it in the air. He holds it their for a while before dropping it back in the bag. "Which big hero accept big challenge."

If you choose to accept this challenge there is two ways to do this. One way is to eat the slug whole which requires a DC 15 Fort save for every slug. Or spit out the slightly poisonous Slime Bladder to make it a DC 10 Fort save however this may have... Repercussions. You can apply this to each individual slug.

You have 10 rounds to eat the slugs. Attempting to eat a slug counts as a round. Failing the Fort Save means that you fail to eat the slug. If you fail to eat a slug you can try again on another round.

Snark's face turns pale upon seeing the slugs which are roughly the length of his forearms. He takes a step back, suppressing the need to throw up. Slightly ashamed of himself he steps forth again, "Place slug on your head and I shoot it off but I's not eating slug." Hopefully the other Goblins would be impressed by his prowess with the gun.

Suddenly, dancing with Squeely Nord doesn't seem so bad. For now, Scrapeknee hopes one of the more impuslive types will volunteer

Farg farg looks at Vithik and shrugs. "Course you ride him now. Him pooped out from me big bad ride."

After Slorb holds up the slugs and the other two goblins pass on the offered challenge, the young cavalier once again slicks back his ears and steps forward. "Slugs no match for me. I eat 'em real quick like." He turns to Scrapeknee and hands him the jug won from ridding the ferociouse Squeely Nord. "Hold my jug and watch this."

Farg farg will attempt to remove the poison sack before eating the slugs.

Fort Sv: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13
Fort Sv: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11
Fort Sv: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24
Fort Sv: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7
Fort Sv: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

Fort Sv: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17

Scrapeknee takes the jug "Me put in pack to keep safe."

As you finish off the final Slug, Slorb turns away his sick spilling onto the ground. He recovers quickly and even though he is pale he quickly retrieves your prize. The Chiefs Dogslicer!!! "Chief let you Borrow his favourite weapon, Gorge of Gluttons. Chief killed many horses with this weapon. You must bring back to chief after victory or your head will pop!!!"

Gorge of Gluttons—a +1 dogslicer that functions as a bane weapon when utilized against horses (improving to a +3 dogslicer that inflicts an additional 2d6 points of damage on a successful hit).

When he hands over the Dogslicer, Slorb is flanked by several mean looking Goblins carrying Clubs. One of the meanest ones growls We play Hide or Get Clubbed. Slorb expands One of you hide, they try to find...if they do you get clubbed. If no you win great prize.

If you want to run and hide then roll a stealth check for me please.

Vilthik lets a wicked smile darken his face. "This one the best at sneaky-sneak." He dashes off and crouches low as he moves, moving into hiding.

Stealth: 1d20 + 16 ⇒ (6) + 16 = 22

Ouch.

Farg farg takes the dogslicer and a sound escapes the goblin very simular to the sounds of Squeely Nord. "Now we talkin!"
The cavlier holds the magical sword above his head and begins to twil around, giving a good view to all of the tribe. "I be hero! You all see now! Farg farg is the bestest! If you no think so you can suck toad bottoms!"

Well, powah of Lamashtu can heal me if I gets clubbed. Scrapeknee goes to hide, and he does it near the home of Chief Gutwad, figuring that might be the least place folks dare to look.

stealth: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (14) + 9 = 23

"If you's club me I shoot you in face. You first needs to find me." Snark loaded his gun before he went to hide. Now those club fools would have a reason not to want to find him.

Stealth1d20 + 15 ⇒ (4) + 15 = 19

So the Cleric is best at hiding. Oh and Snark will actually shoot the Goblin that tries to club him.

The Goblins stand several moments with there eyes closed "1...2...3...4...erm...1..." Before opening them again and charging off to find you.

The Goblins search for what they feel is hours but is actually only a few minutes. None can find you hiding. After a while Slorb shouts out "I have special ring that lets you climb real good. Come get it. This is loan from chief."

The ring is a Ring of Climbing There is one dare left now you have passed everything super easily actually :) then you can decide who gets what prize.

Last challenge is to beat the Rusty Earbiter. At his words several Goblins come running out with a strange looking assault course. Barbed wire, bent Dogslicers, Barrel Hoops, Vines and thorns all conjoin to form this strange creation. You also see 2 Goblin ears hanging from the numerous pointy objects. "Great inventor made this. Now Great Inventor high in sky...High in sky in Birds belly." Everyone pauses a moment remembering the inventor. "One Must crawl through here, to get big prize."

If you wanna crawl you have to beat three DC 15 Escape artist checks. If you fail you can try again but something naughty might happen. You can take aslong as you like to get through.

Farg farg bounces on his tip toes and bangs his new dogslicer on his shield as the others win the challenge of hide or get clubed. "You all is some sneaky sneaks! We be great heroes!"

When the Rusty Earbiter is rolled out Farg farg makes a strange face and points at it while backing up a few paces. "I let someone else show they big hero. Farg farg great big strong fighting hero. Not sneaky sneak hero!" He turns to a female goblin and strokes his left ear. "Me ears too pretty to get bite."

Sanrk hit himself in the head over his choice of hiding place. The tree was too slim to hide his ears completely and tips extended from both ends. But he wasn't found. Apparently the clubbers were either really dumb or they were afraid of his gun.

"I knows who beats that easy!" Snark pulls a toad out of his pocket, [b]"Croaks is really good at this. He so small that can just move through. I's self got too big ears." Snark then quickly stuffs the toad back in his clothes, before some idiot eats it. He didn't feel like find Croaks number 15.

Farg farg bounces on his tip toes and bangs his new dogslicer on his shield as the others win the challenge of hide or get clubed. "You all is some sneaky sneaks! We be great heroes!"

Scrapeknee grins toothily, "Lamashtu teaches me manythings." After all, the only way to avoid some of the more annoying tasks the old priest used to lay on them was by hiding from the fellow. It worked pretty well then, and it would seem it worked pretty well now.

He eyes the ring happily, then the word 'loan' comes up and he sighs. Loan is just a word for 'not really yours'.

The cleric's eyes widen as he spots Rusty Earbiter, "Good idea, Snark." Better Toad than me.

Vilthik eyes the Rusty Earbiter suspiciously. "This one is no dirt worm, but I will still show that I hero."

Escape Artist 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 21
Escape Artist 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17
Escape Artist 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8

After you escape the Earbiter with a fair amount of ease, Slorb brings over a strange looking Robe and says proudly "Chief’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful." He lifts it as high as he can showing off the strange patch work robe, several bulging pockets and patches lines the robe. Inside you find A Ladder, A Three Legged Turtle, A Horseshoe and A Bullhorn.

Finally Slorb say's "Remember bring back stuff or your head will flop!!!" Before wandering away.

Everyone needs to decide who gets what now. Split it fairly so one item each.

Ok I will let you guys finish up the night then we can move on to the morning :D

"We well prepared now for big fights."

Just before you all set off for your home you here Slorb shouting "Be at Moot house early morning!!!" Then he slinks off to serve his chief, as he is carried back to his home.

I assume everyone gets sleepy now. If you do anything more substantial during the night just say :D

The next morning Slorb is seen outside the Moot house, he will wait until everyone has arrived and berate those who are late. "Come on, Chief wait to see you off."

Trophies of animal heads once more stare at you as you enter the moot house. Everything has remained the same, even the way the chief slouches in his chair, but one thing. There is now a pile of fireworks sitting at the base of his chair. "Get rest of fireworks and bring them here to me." He motions to the fireworks by his feet "Take these to help on grave mission." You collect the fireworks and as you leave Slorb gives you the map to the shipwreck.

You know that to get to the shipwreck will not take long. Maybe an hour or two. Has anyone decided who has what items yet? If you would like I could step in? I will allow everyone to be able to be proficient with the Dogslicer, it is the Goblins primary weapon after all.

Now you have fireworks as well ;)

That night, Scrapeknee found a willing she goblin, closed his eyes, and thought of Lamashtu

She was a bit clingy, so in the morning he was one of the late ones.

"Much praying...yes. Very important ritual."

Trophies of animal heads once more stare at you as you enter the moot house. Everything has remained the same, even the way the chief slouches in his chair, but one thing. There is now a pile of fireworks sitting at the base of his chair. "Get rest of fireworks and bring them here to me." He motions to the fireworks by his feet "Take these to help on grave mission." You collect the fireworks and as you leave Slorb gives you the map to the shipwreck.

"Yes, great chief." Scrapeknee assures, "Much victory for goddess and tribe."

"You be glad you sent us big chief. You see, we get dem fireworks in two shakes of a wyvern's tale!

Vilthik's eyes twinkle at the sight of the fireworks. "We will bring you great piles of boomers, mighty chief. And then we will wash the men-creatures in fire!

"We's get you firework chief. We's good at things so no problem." Snark approaches the fireworks. He has more knowledge of explosives then the others so he should manage them.

Once they are all outside with the fireworks in their possession, Scrapeknee starts up, "It should not take long to get there. Vilthik, you want to be scout up front?"

"This one can scout, oh yes. Good eyes and sneaky feets and good for track-looking, man-creature or not. Just no booming fireworks behind me, yous grub-eaters."

I will just move on.

The party sets off on their quest. You leave the confines of the makeshift camp and step onto the boggy ground of the marsh, you pick your way though difficult terrain. Stinging nettles snatch at your legs and deep pools of stagnant water bar your path. You eventually take a break about halfway through your journey. You rest next to a small creek with large trees stretching above you.

Need a Perception from everyone please :D

Farg farg Percption: 1d20 ⇒ 12

Fangface perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19 + Scent ability