"The nice hungry cat lies under the wooden table..." the woodborn intones, massively failing to use every letter of the alphabet. His blade rests easily in his hand, alarmingly close to any part of Akiros that Akiros wishes to keep whole.
Ozzy whispers the news of the cat's location past her companions' earplugs.
The lead satyr's mind proves hard to probe. "I'm not going to shout at you from here," he declares, standing up from the table and walking a short distance from the table. The sword at his waist is easy to see, and, shirtless as he is, so are the knives in concealable sheaths strapped to his strapping forearms. The satyrs are all possessed of ahtletic builds, but the others not to the degree of this one. The swordsman looks genuinely happy to have visitors. "Are you hungry? Are you here for revenge? Here to join our noble cause? I'm down with whatever, but I hate waiting. One or the other or the other or whatever, let's do something fun. My name's Surpex, what's all of yours?"
At the table, the other lead Satyr (short-horned equipped with a short bow and a knife at his belt) begins to play his pipes idly. The non-lead satyr (the one that suggested Mr. Winky stay and eat) stands up as well, but seems content to let Surpex do any talking for now.
The wild man, the cannibal, looks downright pissed. "Surpex!" he screams, storming towards the satyr, "stop saying! Stop saying words from your mouth. Talking!" The cannibal's eyes seem to roll in their sockets, specks of foam mark his beard. "They're tres, trespassing! They're - they need to die!"
Jen glances towards the cannibal briefly, then back to Surpex. Probably no use probing crazy guy's mind...
The tiefling woman smiles in what she hopes is a friendly manner towards Surpex. "We were simply intending on passing through, friend," she says. Then, proceeding with introductions, she says, "I'm Jen. The girl is Ozzy, the man Abaos, and the one born of these woods is Awn. Though, a noble cause... it sounds interesting, but so many charlatans wander about nowadays that you can perhaps understand my reluctance to take that at face value."
Even as she continues to speak, intermittently making eye contact with Surpex, she turns her mind to the goat-man with the pipes.
"Would you care to tell us about this cause of yours, friend?" To Surpex, again.
Jen hopes she isn't going overboard with the friend moniker. Gods above, I'm going to do something embarrassing any moment now...
"Ah, just passing through. A well-armed party for it! Kind host, I wasn't aware that your tree was so near to the beaten path, to be stumbled across."
"Isn't," the cannibal grunts.
"Well," Surpex shrugs his shoulders, "sometimes wanderers get lost."
"Though, a noble cause... it sounds interesting, but so many charlatans wander about nowadays that you can perhaps understand my reluctance to take that at face value."
"The noblest of causes!" Surpex proclaims. "Prisioc, tell them our cause! Proselytize!"
That he's less excitable and more level in tone than Surpex does nothing to make Prisioc's words sound any less demented. "Our cause is the downfall of civilization. Our aim is to set kingdoms ablaze and corpses piled in drifts where the wind blows them. Our goal is to release the Green Lady, Nyrissa, from beyond time. And when the world ends, madmen will inherit Golarion."
"Sound fun, friend?" Surpex asks Jen. "Well, friend, you're in luck! We're recruiting an army! You're as behorned as me or Prisioc; you can't tell me that you're particularly fond of the world-as-is. And your deaf friends hardly look like they'd be out of place in a new world-disorder. Sign on with us; you'll fit right in - we make our own rules, and don't bother following them."
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Guthruc, thinking that putting the earplugs in would be a sign of weakness, is now charmed. No longer needing to stay back from any percieved enemies, he casually walks out from the cover of the trees, and aproaches his two groups of friends who are just making acquaintance. He turns to his friend playing the pipes "Guthruc and allies go to Hooktongue Slough to build army of boggard. Join?"
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With earplugs in, and feeling *very* Stealth, Iorskan watched from atop a tree. He had no clue what was going on. But he trusted that Guthruc would fill him in soon enough, and that the two would feast on the broken bodies of their foes soon.
EDIT: forgot +2 for Mwk tool (diplomacy), added into roll
Jen attempts to act as if she were charmed. A big, dazed smile stretches across her head as she nods her head up and down energetically. "Anarchism is the purity of rebellion!" she cries out with gusto. "Down with structure, down with the Feds!"
Her head continues to bob up and down, as if she has no control over it anymore.
"Guthruc and allies go to Hooktongue Slough to build army of boggard. Join?"
"Yes, yes, in fact I think my deaf friends and I can help you build this army, this FIST of the apocalypse, if you come with us to the boggards!"
To Ozzy, she mutters, "anarchist doomsday cultists, pretending to join them, Guthruc charmed for real"
Ozzy relays Jen's message to the others.
"Guthruc and allies go to Hooktongue Slough to build army of boggard. Join?"
"Yes, yes, in fact I think my deaf friends and I can help you build this army, this FIST of the apocalypse, if you come with us to the boggards!"
"Let me consult my friends!" Surpex considers it. Turning to his comrades he asks, "thoughts?"
"We won't get far recruiting recluses," Prisioc argues. "Tartuk died and took our dreams of kobold-conquest with him, and smart money says the Stag Lord will drink himself into an early grave before he and his nascent army amount to anything at all."
"Wouldn't surprise me at all if that's why he missed his check-in," the as-yet unnamed Satyr adds.
"I say we take them at the value of their faces." Prisioc leans on his spear. "At the very least, it'll be entertaining. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Lots bad," the cannibal snarls. "Lots bad could happen. I'm, I'm, I'm canny. You know I'm canny. You three have three minds and three sets of eyes, but I have . . . less eyes, but more minds. And none of us, none of us behind my eyes, we don't trust her. Girl I ate this morning, I ate a girl this morning, she was trespassing she needed to die, she wasn't . . . canny. But she agrees with the rest of us, doesn't trust the, the, demonspawn. She knows that much. Can't trust them."
"Gracious host," Surpex decides, "I must agree with your analysis." He turns back to Jen. "You're far to sane to join our cause, friend. While perhaps we could fix that, given time, I don't believe it's worth the risk, given how you resist madness' call, recognize it, and fake it. Am I wrong?"
The satyr shakes his head. "What business has a sane person like you in the Hooktongue Slough? Even I'm not crazy enough to risk death at the hands of the froghemoth - I'll leave that to short-lived boggardkind and those orcs who would rule them."
Against anyone's non-charmed judgement, Guthruc answers their concerns regarding Tartuk and the Stag-lord.
"Taktur is gnome that ruled dragon men? Guthruc and ally kill Turtak and kobold now ally! Follow Iorskan, dragon ally. Same blue fey and Deer king. Follow little girl and Ablavos. Man, dragon man, and blue fey weak though. No good for army, for warband. This why Guthruc go to boggards. Boggard strong. Guthruc already have one boggard ally."
Guthruc beckons for Ozzy, Iorskan, and Anura to leave the tree cover and join everyone in the clearing.
"Guthruc never hear froghemoth though. No matter, Githruc and allies strong. Guthruc kill froghemoth, or make it pet."
Seeing Guthruc beckon, Iorskan rationalized that it must be safe. He removed his earplugs and took flight, landing by the orc’s side. Looking up he said ”Eat-murder?” as if though it were the most innocuous of questions.
Guthruc turns his attention to the young dragon. "No, friend-ally" Guthruc clarifies. "They help fight boggards of Hooktongue Slough" Guthruc continues, not entirely getting the hint that they are doing exactly the oppisite of joining us.
Awn blinks.
Well, this should be interesting.
There's a pause while Nyrissa's cultists absorb this new information.
"And here," Surpex says at last, "I thought that our Lady's army-fielding attempts had been stymied by the instability innate to the type of people who'd join us in our noble undertaking - the desperate, the uncivilized, and the homicidally insane."
Surpex tries to look nonthreatening as he backs up slowly. "Good talk, I learned a lot. Well, friend, Guthruc, Iorskan, various taciturn assembled, you've all got places to go and people to conquer, and we'd hate to keep you."
Awn's smile freezes, in a manner that is decidedly not friendly. T'lass is suddenly pointing directly at the talkative satyr.
"Friend Surpex. You do yourself no honour plying deception upon deception. At some point you must realise we are not having humor with you. Stand. Or die."
[+2 from second sight]
Jen blinks. She's not quite sure how the interaction managed to go from her being as friendly as possible to... this.
Oh. Right, that horned son of a balrog tried to mind control me.
Rolling back her sleeves and running through her spells, Jen stands her ground beside Awn. "My friend is correct. After trying to play with our minds, why, you should certainly hope for our goodwill and forgiveness..."
"So talk straight, starting now."
"I was starting to worry that we weren't having humor," the satyr laments. "That's unfortunate."
He holds up his hands, to show that they're weapon-free. "There's no need to resort to crude violence; by all accounts I am a peace-loving and rational fey." Surpex isn't good at feigning sincerity. "You've yet to say what such sane folk as yourselves aim to achieve in the swamplands; with so little to go on I can't hazard a guess at whether your tendency towards toppling petty lords and shamans is shoddy luck, your cause in and of itself, or something in between. But I'm sure, whatever your longer term scheming, that we can resolve this amicably?"
Surpex seems confident, so Jen effects an air of nonchalance in an attempt to put him off balance. "My friends here are trying to establish a nation that will encompass your own... quaint... little abode. You'd do well to stay on their good side." She shrugs. "Myself, I'm mostly along for the ride. As for the danger..."
Jen fingers the binding on her spellbook in a decidedly conspicuous manner. "I'm very preservable, like a pickle."
Her tone shifts again as she focuses intensely - unholy, some have said - golden eyes on Surpex's face. "Why don't you give us the grand tour of your tree home? Think of it as... an expression of your friendly intentions."
”Their words charm. They want to topple civilization. Eat-murder them!” Iorskan slapped his tail on the ground for effect. Truth be told he didn’t quite care about their insane plans. Except that it effected his kobolds and his friends. Which meant that they should die. Or not? He was trying to think more like a human, and humans were weird about killing, except when they were not. But then they claimed that they were. And they killed without eating, which was unnatural. But his friends probably didn’t want him eating the wrong people, even if it was logical. So he waited for wiser heads, such as friend-Guthruc, to make a move.
Awn's smile turns straight back on, the insouciance of a being in control, and welcoming it. After all, self-styled lords in force must act...lordly. And given Abaos was strangely silent...
"Our lord dragon wishes to extend the same courtesy to you that your people-eating friend extended to someone just recently. I'm inclined to think our green tusked friend might wish the same. Don't. Mess. With. Us."
The woodborn's eyes twinkle.
"Amicable."
"No eat murder anyone. All friend here. Even if some ally look like taste good, Guthruc no eat-murder Abaoks, or Blue girl. Just like Guthruc and ally no eat Goat man."
Awn seems to be proving his dominance over the goat-man. I will not interfere, the worgs remided me of that too many times.
"Amicable!" Surpex agrees. "Is there anything we can do to speed you on your way?"
"Surpex. I insist you desist from currying favor. Perhaps a lifetime of ensorcelling weak minds and providing entertaining repasts has left you quite unused to...talking straight, though I imagine if it cane to it you could speak your mind quite easily. Put simply, you are a threat to our regency, and your flesh eating friend is simply on the wrong side of history."
Awn looks briefly at each satyr in turn, and completely ignores the cannibal.
"Lay down any weapons. Get on your knees, or if your legs bend not that way, sit. Put your hands in the air."
”No eat...?” Iorskan said unhappily. ”Then let’s go. Leave them.” He added impatiently. Diplomacy was hard. And confusing. First they were friends, then food, and now friends-not-friends and maybe prisoners? Iorskan thought that eating them would save a lot of time.
"My leafy friend, if today's the day I stop threatening regencies, I won't do it sitting down." The satyr bares his teeth, mock bows, and makes a break for it. "Buy me room to spellcast!" he shouts at his allies.
Their host doesn't need to be told twice - with a mammalian roar, he runs forward to attack.
Ozzy can't hear the Satyrs, but she heard what Awn said to them, and saw the change in their demeanor. She wastes no time, running forward and casting Create Pit in the middle of the group.
Iorskan took to the skies! Beating his wings he flanked the enemies, landed with a thud, and...
...unleashed a glut of flame. The fire washed over all of the foes. The wyrm felt naught but joy in his heart. He knew that the fire wouldn’t kill them (they weren’t you’re average peasant after all), but it would make the feast taste that much better.
Awn moves swiftly forward, possibly into the airborne conflagration beating and bearing down on the area. The woodborn neatly jabs at the lead satyr, enunciating just one word...
"Surpex."
Full Round Action: Charge Surpex, moving diagonally from position next to man (Akiros?) to adjacent to Surpex, between Surpex and Jen, three squares to the left of Guthruc...
[+2 Str, +3 BAB, +1 enhancement, +2 charge, +2 second sight]
[+3 THF, +1 enhancement]
[-2 to AC until my next turn]
Jen shouts out to Bokken ()
"Tame the cat if you can!"
She doesn't wait for a reply, already moving up to make a complex series of hand gestures. A slick rush of grease coats the left slope of the pit, catching her enemy before sliding down the slope to thinly coat the bottom of the pit.
The ground falls out from beneath his feat, and Surpex lands gracelessly. damage and prone.
Lord Iorskan's fire comes from on high, engulfing his malfortunate foes!
Prisioc is entirely unharmed by the gout of flame - it didn't even singe his beard. The others are rather more scorched.
Jen casts her spell, and the cannibal slips and slides in his attempt to get wihtin eat-murder range.
He falls in the pit. damage and prone.
Anura hops forward and casts Moment of Greatness. The only people likely to get a morale bonus to anything anytime soon are Guthruc and Akiros, so they'd best remember to use it at some point.
Akiros rushes to engage the unamed satyr. The unamed satyr yelps as he's cut.
As the throes of combat emerges around him, Guthruc's head quickly clears up, free of the charm. He shuffles through his short-term memory and realizes the fact.
Their magic is natural. they must use dirty tricks. Its the only way, the alternative, them being stronger, and... HA! That would be absurd! Nonetheless, nobody can know. I must not show weakness!
"Fine, you no join warband when ask nice. Guthruc show you place! Beat goat man to accept. You magic weak, no affect Guthruc, may still useful to warband."
After clearing that up, he backs up to get a running head start and charges the satyr working on spellcasting. "Coward! You flee from fight?!" Guthruc shouts as he enters rage and leaps across the newly formed pit.
Guthruc then proceeds to beat Prisioc with an incomplete stone rendition of Auchs's face, accepting Moloch's blessing of power all the while.
Abaos throws a starknife at the unamed satyr.
Guthruc leaps across the pit, landing log first on Prisioc. Onfortunately for the berserking orc, such titanic leaps tend to leave one open to reprisal.
Fortunately for Guthruc, such titanic leaps tend to take the lept upon off guard.
From the bottom of the pit, Surpex begins casting a spell.
The cannibal climbs to his feet and attempts to climb out of the pit. He muscles his way five feet closer to the surface. "Cat! Kill them, Cat!"
Happy to oblige, the puma charges out from beneath the table, attacking the orc standing right in front of it.
The puma latches on to Guthruc, biting and clawing.
Prisioc decides that now would be a great time to make a tactical retreat, what with his assailant being otherwise occupied. Once at a distance he's deemed safe enough, the satyr sorcerer unleashes a ray of fire from his palm.
Never one to miss out on a villainous monologue, Prisioc calls out, "Burn!" Well, ok, maybe he's the sort to miss out on a good villainous monologue. We'll leave that to Surpex.
The unnamed Satyr repositions away from Ismort. His pipes don't seem to be having any effect, so he casts a spell that isn't audio-dependent. Overcome by baseless terror, the ex-paladin breaks and runs.
Auchs, looking bewildered, finally reacts. he shouts, hardly able to hear his own voice. the ogre points at Prisioc. The lumbering giant double moves over to where the sorcerer is within his reach.
Auchs whines. Anyone in the party who's faced the party's largest taglong NPC on the field of battle could have told Prisioc that the satyrs toothpick wouldn't stop the giant once determined.
For once, Jen finds herself at a loss as she watches Surpex's hand motions. She really should have paid more attention to the theory behind druidic magic...
Still, a spell is a spell. "Throw something at him, distract him," she yells.
There was an enemy to eat! One just 5ft away to the north that he could step up to.
Iorskan was more than a bit overeager...
Awn weighs fate, and measures gravity and checks the balance. The cannibal is rising. Surpex is down. Awn can be down with that. And with Surpex. The woodborn leaps into the pit, sword dropping also to strike Surpex.
Move Action: Leap!!!
(+2 Dex, +2 second sight)
Standard Action: Cut!!!
(+2 Str, +3 BAB, +1 enhancement, +2 second sight)
(+3THF, +1 enhancement)
Tripping over himself in his haste to devour his foe, Iorskan finds to his dismay that the satyr is fireproof. And he's tougher than he looks.
Awn leaps into the pit!
With a skkkk! and a splootch! T'lass bites into the fallen satyr. But between the fey's resilience to warm iron and his boatload of hitdice, Surpex's incantation continues.
Ozzy casts enlarge person on Guthruc.