How would you convince a 20th level Wizard?

[Xarath]

So lets say a vanilla generalist Human Wizard max 20th level with the appropriate WBL (for all extents and purposes a PC) suddenly visits our world, in such a way that cannot be denied that he has some sort of power we don't truly understand.

This Wizard wants to vacation in our world and actually resides in a demiplane somewhere far away. Various governments, organisations and other power groups/individuals along with various leading men and women in all walks of life and varying influences attempt to make peaceable contact once they realise this Wizard's sheer power and knowledge.

But the Wizard wants nothing to do with any of our people or power plays. He just wants to be left to his own devices and wants to idle the time away here. But the people of our world wont let the Wizard off that easy and try to cajole him at best or threaten him at worst.

The Wizard however points out a few key things:

1. The Wizard isn't interested in advancing our knowledge or helping us to understand magic or the arcane.
2. He's rich and can acquire vast riches on his own power and so bribery is out
3. Knowledge of our scientific achievements is nothing to him, he visits other worlds and knows of technology. Consider that the Wizard has spells relating to technology
4. He's immortal or as close as, as he has Sun Orchid Elixirs and a Clone ready for backup
5. He's got contingencies ready so if we strike and fail to kill him, his spells simply warp him back to his demiplane so we could have an angry Wizard on our hand.

So my question is, if you had control of a vast operation like say a government funded program aimed at making the Wizard enhance our magical knowledge, how would you go about it? Threats? Blackmail if at all possible? Also note, you would not be the only one and have to actively compete against other government operatives, private organisations and individuals with resources, so you are facing competition as well.

(this is just a thought experiment that came to mind)

[David knott 242]

As presented, we have nothing that he wants.

So the first thing we need to do is figure out why he is here, what he wants, and how we can make it easier or harder for him to get whatever it is. Once we know that, we can potentially make some sort of deal with him.

[quibblemuch]

No one can resist the charisma of Mandy Patinkin. He’s a national treasure!

[DungeonmasterCal]

quibblemuch wrote:

No one can resist the charisma of Mandy Patinkin. He’s a national treasure!

Here he is, our national treasure:

"Ya'll Are Brutalizing Me" from the movie "Run Ronnie Run"

[Xarath]

David knott 242 wrote:

As presented, we have nothing that he wants.

So the first thing we need to do is figure out why he is here, what he wants, and how we can make it easier or harder for him to get whatever it is. Once we know that, we can potentially make some sort of deal with him.

Well, as stated, the Wizard is interest in a bit of R&R in our world. Just to kick up his feet and relax and have too much time on his hands...

[David knott 242]

Xarath wrote:

David knott 242 wrote:

As presented, we have nothing that he wants.

So the first thing we need to do is figure out why he is here, what he wants, and how we can make it easier or harder for him to get whatever it is. Once we know that, we can potentially make some sort of deal with him.

Well, as stated, the Wizard is interest in a bit of R&R in our world. Just to kick up his feet and relax and have too much time on his hands...

Since you didn't mention him causing mayhem in our world, I would assume that one of the first things he did was produce a permanent item of great value and sell it at a pawn shop for some spending money. If he did otherwise, he would already be the target of a lot of unwanted attention.

Still -- If he has publicly displayed his magic powers, he will be attracting a lot of unwelcome attention from the general public anyway. So what would he do for somebody who owns a fancy private resort and is willing to kick out most of his other guests for his benefit?

[Freehold DM]

I would just ask him. If he says no, it's unfortunate,but it's his decision.

I would also show him where Katz' delicatessen is.

[Xarath]

David knott 242 wrote:

So what would he do for somebody who owns a fancy private resort and is willing to kick out most of his other guests for his benefit?

Well he probably would find a way to pay the guy. He wouldn't want to teach magic, as stated in OP. If a resort owner doesn't want to service the wizard, he would go elsewhere...

[Yqatuba]

What his charisma? Not all wizards bother with CHA since it's not all that important. If it's low it might actually be easy to convince him?

[Asmodeus' Advocate]

I mean, the question is basically: how would you motivate someone when you have nothing to offer that they want, and no way to coerce them. And the answer is, you can't.

So, if I was in charge of an agency trying to advance the magic knowledge of humankind, I'd just try to keep an eye on the wizard and take any permanent magic effects the wizard creates back to a lab to study, see what we can make of it.

[David knott 242]

We must have something he wants because he is here, even if what he wants is just a vacation. He obviously prefers not to create too much mayhem because the question under consideration would be very different if he were doing that.

So we keep him under surveillance, take a lot of notes, and study anything he discards. If he is willing to talk with any of our people, keep in mind that things are likely to have different values for him than for us, so any trade that can be managed is likely to be good for both sides. Even casual remarks from him might be highly instructive.

[Tacticslion]

How would I convince a 20th level wizard? Simple! I’d be a 20th level bard! :V

[Andostre]

You know what? I bet he doesn't have the internet or anything like it. Scrying doesn't hold a candle to a search engine.

Of course, then we'd have to deal with him never leaving his magical mansion after he discovers certain websites.

[DungeonmasterCal]

Andostre wrote:

Of course, then we'd have to deal with him never leaving his magical mansion after he discovers certain websites.

*Invokes Rule 34 for naughty wizard sites*

[Andostre]

Even not going with the lowest common denominator. Give that mage YouTube and cat sites? We could destroy that 24 INT.

[Tacticslion]

And suddenly a new Vime/YouTube personality is born, where he tries to show us all how to do things without magic, and he'd literally be the best, too, because he has twenty-freakin' ranks in whatever skill he's using, dang it, and that's better than literally anyone who's ever been born.

(But it would totally just be opening kinder surprise eggs or whatever, as he rakes in cash, while spending 22.5 hours each day looking at other YouTube things, because he has keep watch and a ring of sustenance so who needs to sleep, dang it.)

Stupid show-off.

[Tacticslion]

By the way, he'd do the whole internet personality thing, but he'd do it for 24/7 (possibly more if he researched a new spell), by getting his simulacra who, with ten ranks, still outranks (literally) everyone on the planet! Dang it, man, stop showing off! You jerk!

[Tacticslion]

Tacticslion wrote:

And suddenly a new Vime/YouTube personality is born,

DANG it! I just realized Vime wasn't a thing anymore, is it?!

DARN YOU, WIZARD~! DARN YOUR NASTY, BROKEN SOCKS THAT ARE PROBABLY BETTER THAN MINE BECAUSE masterwork transformation AND make whole EXIST~!

*shakes fist*

[DungeonmasterCal]

What's Vime?

[Andostre]

DungeonmasterCal wrote:

What's Vime?

He probably meant Vine.

[Tacticslion]

That or vimeo.

Look, you can't expect me to keep up with all the hot new trends, dang it! I'm only one man who isn't a wizard! STOP SHOWING OFF, DAGGUMMIT, WIZARD!

*shakes fist*

[Tacticslion]

(In case it's not clear, I don't actually know which one I meant.)