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The static crackle of an old-fashioned radio app turns on as a bored ysoki waiting at a docking bay tunes into Absalom Station News Radio. They listen to a number of news items, some interesting, some dull, but at the end the omni-present statement interrupts...
And now a word from our sponsors...
1.) "Our universe is expanding, and with it, so are our boundaries. We travel to the edge of space to meet new friends. Co-workers. Family. For every star, there's a person who wants to meet you, and a new experience that can be gained, from something as simple as a quick conversation to something more. And now, for just a small 30 credits a month, Shelynet can help you make those connections.
Shelynet. The universe is vast, but who said it had to be lonely?"
2.) "Tired of your old cybernetics shortin' out on ya? Tired of havin' to go down to your physician to have this and that part replaced and fixed, over and over again? Tired of shellin' out money to keep those rusty old bits operational? Well, no more! Come on down to Trusty Sal's Discount Parts Warehouse! We offer the finest in budget cybernetics, with the best and brightest surgeons the galaxy's got to offer. Got old gunky parts? We'll trade them in for new ones at an affordable price! Got an unusual or unique part you need ordered? We'll have it shipped to you in 5 days or your money back!
Trusty Sal's: Don't fall apart! Come see Sal."
4) "Wherever there is evil,
Wherever there is strife,
Wherever there is malice,
Or threat to all life.
There is a force,
Who allow peace to carry on.
We are the defenders:
The Knights of Golarion.
Join us today and become part of the greatest defenders of the System. Dedicate your life to the protection of Golarion space and provide a stable future for you and your loved ones. We want YOU to be the best you can be so that the system can be the best it can be. Inquire at your nearest Knights station today."
5) "'Wow, what a loser.'
Got a lady or gentleman at home who's not satisfied? Ask your chemist about Paragon Serum today. One easy dose at only <garble> credits and they'll be begging to see your gun.
'What a HERO!'
Paragon Serum! Ask for it today.
Paragon Serum is not guaranteed to improve your love life, only superficial appearance. Side effects may include thyroid imbalance, loss of vision, extreme narcissism, genetic fraying, other hormonal issues, death, and halitosis. Nausea is typical after dosing but usually wears off after thirty minutes. If you experience nausea lasting longer than two hours consult your local Emergency Medical Officer or hospital. Paragon Chemicals is a subsidiary of Kalistritech and does not take responsibility for failed doses of Paragon Serum from confirmed viable batches. Paragon Chemicals does not endorse or license secondhand distribution, only an official Paragon Chemicals distributor may provide Paragon Serum."
I'm commander shepard and this is my favorite shop on Absalom Station.