Ulfen and the Ratman

[THUNDERLIPS!]

WE WANT TO BE FREE!

WE WANT TO BE FREE TO RIDE!

WE WANT TO BE FREE TO RIDE OUR MACHINES WITH OUT GETTING HASSLED BY the mona!

THUNDERLIPS! AND LUCIUS RIDE TO SEA-TAC THIS MAY!

THUNDERLIPS! HEARS RUMOR OF NAHLEENS TOWN INHABITANTS THAT KEEP GETTING PEOPLE WITH FUNNY TITILE'S AFTER THEIR NAME TO HONOR THEIR HERITAGE. THUNDERLIPS! LOOKS FORWARD TO SAILING LONGBOAT INTO PUNGENT SOUND TO LAY WASTE TO WEST SEEATTLE! Except Easy Street Records. We like Easy Street Records. If this shop is no longer open THEN WEST SEEATTLE BURNS!

RATMAN! LET'S RIDE!

[Ethan Snide]

I have to live in the same city as this.

I have to ride in the same airplane as this.

I can't even move to first class to get away (which is a class that absolutely is my class by the way).

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

Big Daddy 'LIPS!, we gonna take this town by storm. We'll OWN Seattle!

Skid Row ain't seen the likes of us...

And The Public Market may lose an "L"!

Let be written,
Let it be heard!
There'd better be more beer,
Than a brewery of can hold,

Men of Influence are coming!

[THUNDERLIPS!]

FIRST CLASS COULD NOT HANDLE THE THUNDER OF THUNDERLIPS!

[Ethan Snide]

And let's keep it that way. Leave the dregs of the society back in steerage where they belong.

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

No, it is just that there cannot be that much AWESOME up there... and some of us have certain level of sophistication that certain... bodyguards... cannot handle.

This means, of course, that THUNDERLIPS! will be in shape to make sure Ethan and Lucius make it to the hotel safely. As is his job!

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THUNDERLIPS! ALWAYS IN SHAPE! PAINLORDS ARE STILL IN AWE AT THUNDERLIPS!'S LIVER'S PROWESS.

[Ethan Snide]

If by awesome you mean STIs, then yes, we certainly cannot have that much awesome in first class.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THAT IS NOT THE REASON IT GLOWS IN THE DARK, SNIDE!

[THUNDERLIPS!]

AT LEAST THUNDERLIPS! KNOWS HOW TO OBTAIN AN STI SNIDE! RUMOR HAS IT YOU CAN NOT EVEN MASTER YOUR OWN DOMAIN.

[Ethan Snide]

Well little minds do often listen to rumor.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

IT'S BIGGER THAN YOUR SO CALLED BIG HEAD.

[Ethan Snide]

While I'm sure that you probably can't tell the difference between a normal brain, and that thing you think with, your "mind" as you like to call it certainly may be bigger than my head, but it's not what you have, it's how you use it.

And you, you worthless bag of diseased testicular matter, clearly lack in any real skill.

[GM_Beernorg]

::makes popcorn:: 10 bucks says THUNDERLIPS! rips off Ethan's arm and beats him with it, any takers?

[Ethan Snide]

Doubtful. The difference in our respective skills is akin to any multi-cellular organism to a bacterium. That loud sack of meat would be pressed to touch me in the first place. And gods be thankful for that, I don't need to catch whatever new disease he's picked up this week.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

MORE POPCORN! WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS MAKE POPCORN? WHY DOES NO ONE REPLY "BREWS BEER!"

THUNDERLIPS! CAN ALWAY USE TEN BUCKS. THUNDERLIPS! ENJOYS EATING VENISON OFF A NAKED SNIDE.

[GM_Beernorg]

That's what a wand of summon case of beer is for, and mine is topped off.

::woomph:: and 24 cold beers to go with that popcorn!

Let the games begin!

[THUNDERLIPS!]

ALRIGHT BEERNORG!

SNIDE! SEE? THIS IS HOW ONE GETS READY FOR CROSS COUNTRY ROAD TRIP!

THUNDERLIPS! AM A DANGEROUSLY CURIOUS MAN OF INFLUENCE WHO COULD USE THE SERVICES OF THIS SUMMON MEAD SPELLSTICK.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

DO THE MUSHROOMS SCREAM, ETHAN?

[Ethan Snide]

I hear your mushroom screaming regularly about what you do to it.

[GM_Beernorg]

::cracks a beer:: Owwww, this is getting good now.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

DO YOU WEAR THAT MANLY TIARA TO COVER UP THE PERMANENT MUSHROOM STAMP ON YER FIVEHEAD?

[The Gornlord]

Yeah I heard this is the ship heading to Seattle with the beer and tavern skanks. Don't mind the blood I just stabbed a monkey that hustled me in a game of three card monty.

[Gunari Maximoff]

Sorry about that, my monkey, Gilligan must have hotel out. I'll have to heal him now, I hope you didn't kill him

[The Gornlord]

About that...

[THUNDERLIPS!]

GORNLORD! THUNDERLIPS! AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. EVER SINCE THUNDERLIPS! RAN OUT OF "SPECIAL" BARBARIAN CHEW YOU HAVE BEEN NEVER FAR FROM THUNDERLIPS!'S SHAKES.

[Wei Ji]

Has one ever considered a lower volume for one's discussion points? One imagines the implications for eardrums around one would be.. immense?

Not saying 'tone it down' or 'shut up' even. Freedom does require being 'loud and proud' sometimes, after all.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

BIRDMAN WEI JI! THUNDERLIPS! HAS ONLY ONE VOLUME! FREEDOM REQUIRES A LARGE BEER AND REMODELING BUDGET! ONE DOES NOT BECOME THE MASTER OF SHOUTING WITH OUT TALENT.

THUNDERLIPS! WAS UNDER EFFECT OF UNNATURAL LUST WHEN HE WAS LOUD AND PROUD. UNLESS YOU ARE NOT REFERRING TO THE EVENTS IN TAMRAN. OF WHICH NO ONE SHOULD SPEAK. EVER. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH VIRILE, POTENT, FIRM ULFEN SHOWING OFF THEIR LINEAGE TO LADIES OF ABSALOM. IT IS ONE OF THE REASONS THUNDERLIPS! WEARS NOTHING BUT A THONG.

[Ethan Snide]

Rumors of what happened in Tamrin have spread far and wide Lips. Your reputation now precedes you. Not that this changed your reputation, or lack there of, at all.

There's a difference though between telling somebody to hide the Halfling, and playing a game of hide the Halfling. Perhaps you didn't get the memo. Wouldn't surprise me.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THUNDERLIPS! alternates between looking at a halfling and his Floodlight of Freedom. This goes on for several minutes. Various expressions crease THUDERLIPS!'S face, as if he is working out some quantum geometry problem. THUNDERLIPS!'S hands and arms move with no discernible pattern, maybe comparing the halfling to his Beacon for all the Ladies. Finally, THUNDERLIPS! walks over to Ethan.

IT'S OKAY, SNIDE. NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO BOTH LIKE THUNDERLIPS! BESIDES, WE WOULDN'T WANT THE HALFLING TO TURN INTO A DIAMOND IF YOU HID HIM. UNLIKE ALL THOSE LUMPS OF COAL THUNDERLIPS! SEES IN YOUR ROOM.

[Liz Courts]

Removed some posts. Keep it clean and respectful, please.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

GORNLORD? LUCIUS? ETHAN? WHERE EVERYBODY GO?

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THE BOARD IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS. BEWARE ITS GNINJA MINION. SHE WILL STRIKE LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT.

WAIT. DOESN'T THIEF EQUAL NINJA? THUNDERLIPS! NOT SURE HOW TO THINK ABOUT THAT ONE. THUNDERLIPS! GENERALLY FOLLOW ADVICE GIVEN T HIM AT TIMES LIKE THIS.

THUNDERLIPS! WILL STOP THINKING.

[Ethan Snide]

I went to where it's quieter, and far less irritating, like the ninja suggested.

Somewhere without you.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

BUT... BUT... sniff

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

Just remember Tamran, THUNDERLIPS!

You'll always have Tamran.

[Karasuma Tazou]

But why would you want Tamran? It's a mess. And no one stays bought.

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

Oh, it is a long story about a barbarian, a halfling cutpurse, and a spell...
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNNATURAL LUST ONLY LASTS ONE ROUND?" is basically what he said, well after the spell had expired.

[Karasuma Tazou]

I'm beginning to think that one of our party members deathing one of the halflings was the better resolution for all concerned. Eeesh.

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

Sorry, my fine feathered friend, but you asked. We were all shocked, well, maybe not THUNDERLIPS!, but, well... Never get between an Ulfen and his halfling, I always say.

You in the need for companionship, by the Wei? I am sure I can find you a nice bird-lady friend, price is negotiable. Or you looking for a nice crow to nest with?

[Karasuma Tazou]

Relationships of that sort are expensive, and I'm saving money for the inevitable resurrection costs that are going to come with being a Pathfinder agent.

Better the cash stashed than taking a loan out, after all?

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

I am sure we can work out a deal... Maybe a trade of services, or something like that. Besides, if you were to adventure with THUNDERLIPS! and Luscious Lucius you wouldn't have to worry about being brought back from the dead.

You may have to eventually pay for a regeneration spell for your liver, but you will live.

[THUNDERLIPS!]

BIRDMAN TAZOU! BIRDMAN ALWAYS WELCOME TO ROLL WITH THUNDERLIPS! AND LUCIUS. BIRDMAN NEFREET HONORARY ULFEN FOR HIS MANLY WHISKEY AND BUXOM LASS SMELLING MUSK.

[Karasuma Tazou]

Roll is perhaps not the right term to look for there, but if you're talking about handling a contract, I'm your bird. I'm even considering going for the Absalom Bar Exam at some point...

"Better Call Kara"... Does it sound 'catchy' enough?

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

Well, as it happens, I am always on the lookout for good talent. That talent takes many forms, and having a legal eagle on retainer would be useful for someone who is often around a certain Ulfen. Damage seems to follow him around, so this Ratman may need some... Protection, as it were.

Perhaps we can work out a deal..

[THUNDERLIPS!]

THUNDERLIPS! THOUGHT THUNDERLIPS! WAS PROTECTION!

OH.

THAT PROTECTION. THUNDERLIPS! GOT IT. WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.

["Lucious" Lucius Vizinni]

No, THUNDERLIPS!, that is why we are planning on adding Electra Ivy to our retinue. She can handle that sort of "protection". Well, of course, I know certain alchemical concoctions that will prevent certain... mishaps... from happening. I provide them to my girls all the time. However, we also need to make sure that they are clean... and sometimes certain clientele don't disclose all of their... issues... so having someone around who can cast cure disease certainly wouldn't be a bad idea.