Cheesy pickup lines

[Hama]

Let me begin:

"Do you have a band-aid?"
"No"
"Too bad, I hurt my knee when you swept me off my feet"

[GoatToucher]

I've got this zegz here, but there's no way I can finish it by myself.

You wanna -halve zegz-!?!?

[GoatToucher]

They call me "Jester", baby, because I've got a Wand of Wonder and I know how to use it!

[GoatToucher]

You wanna do it?

[Molten Dragon]

Hi there. I'm a friend of GoatToucher's.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"Help, the government's trying to steal my junk! I need somewhere to hide it!"

[Ventnor]

"Is this seat taken? Because I know my heart is."

[GoatToucher]

"Are those Russian pants? Because I have something that should be Putin you."

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"Are you Dutch? Because I'd love to invest in your two-lips."

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"I must be Dutch, because I feel a pressing need to plug your leaky hole."

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"I hope you like steak, because I want to give you tender loins."

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"They call me Cee Lo Green, because I want to so f!$+ you!"

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

"I'm a wizard, you're an island, and I need to tap you so I can work some blue magic."

[Ventnor]

Is that wand of cure light wounds in your pocket, or are you just... wait, it is? Crap, let me start over...

[Goddity]

*Charm Person*

[GoatToucher]

I trust the orgy pit has been scraped and buttered?