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Over five years ago! Screw using Bing if I need to find some obscure quote, I'll just ask Nobodyshome:-D
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I know it's not FaWtL, but I still feel naked, sitting up there at the top of the page:-D
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I know it's not FaWtL, but I still feel naked, sitting up there at the top of the page:-D
Yeah, why does it not surprise me that you like to get naked in front of children?
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Well that's kind of... ewww.. I didn't know there were actual kids about!... that's not the image I want to cultivate at all!... crap! Need a distraction to escape... Smurf Bomb!
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LOL. I drive my (own) kids crazy because I just don't give a rat's patootie about the whole bizarre American nudity taboo. If they're talking to me in my room when it's time for me to change, I just change. And they're like, "Daaaaaad! You're scarring us for liiiiiife!"
And my response is the only one possible: "That's my job."
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That's the problem with being a parent of a Pre-teen girl, the forces of nature (my wife and daughter) requires a certain level of modesty and taste :-D
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Something something Serpent's Skull!
Is... is that on topic enough, in all honesty tho I think Nobodyshome ran it spot on:-)
I don't remember how mine went, it was so long ago :-)
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With a chap named Tangent commenting in the thread, can anyone honestly express surprise that the thread derailed? :P
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Do... do you wanna switch?
You can reminisce about the good old days and I can derail whichever random thread I happen across with stories about my kids (have I mentioned my kids lately..) And any other random topic I can think of (Gnome carving! My new passion, alas people would prefer I not carve their Gnomes..) Not to mention the poor Star Wars analogies...
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This is a VERY entertaining read, tangents and all. ^______^
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Well, they did it again.
Exhausting session, but Mr. Stereotype got killed in Tazion... AGAIN. Party got its tail handed to it... AGAIN.
I swear, 6 players in an AP built for four and it's a brutal deathmill.
Details tomorrow, but it pretty much boiled down to, "Wow, that critter just hit Malek for 42 points of damage. I wonder what'll happen if I walk up right next to it and cast a save-or-suck spell on it that uses a Fortitude save? Huge musclebound creatures don't have good Fort saves, right?"
Have a good evening!
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I think I just made my biggest mistake of the campaign...
...Mr. Stereotype asked my advice on a character class. I suggested a divine caster with Protection from Evil, Weapon of Awe, and Bull's Strength, all for Malek.
And he went for it.
My bad guys are in for squishy, froggy deaths...
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I think I just made my biggest mistake of the campaign...
...Mr. Stereotype asked my advice on a character class. I suggested a divine caster with Protection from Evil, Weapon of Awe, and Bull's Strength, all for Malek.And he went for it.
My bad guys are in for squishy, froggy deaths...
It could be worse... It could be arcane caster with protection from evil, bull's strength and haste... Or do they have access to haste already? I lost track of who is alive and who is dead, except for Malek.
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Witch with Slumber Hex, if my wife remembers to use it, the fights are over as soon as they start :-)
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It could be worse... It could be arcane caster with protection from evil, bull's strength and haste... Or do they have access to haste already? I lost track of who is alive and who is dead, except for Malek.I think I just made my biggest mistake of the campaign...
...Mr. Stereotype asked my advice on a character class. I suggested a divine caster with Protection from Evil, Weapon of Awe, and Bull's Strength, all for Malek.And he went for it.
My bad guys are in for squishy, froggy deaths...
Oh, they have Haste... from the alchemist.
Our current happy crew is:
Malek, level 7 grippli barbarian with over 90 hit points already! He's living up to his namesake! Except I think Halek was so ridiculous he was flirting with 100 by 5th level... at least when raging.
Hooken, level 7 half-elf ranger. He's scary-optimized, getting off 5 arrows a round when hasted!! At an average of 1d8+8 per hit (Manyshot adds to that), he's the only reason they survived the BBEG encounter. And that was right through the poor guy's Protection from Arrows spell. DR 10 vs. arrows just ain't what it used to be! Only his Blur saved his life, as a second critical came in right after the first...
Narmina, level 7 gnome bard. Fortunately, her player built her to cast damage spells. As a bard? Yeah, she's the most ineffective bard I've ever seen. Her player has finally figured that out, and plans on swapping out a lot of the pointless damage spells for buffs, debuffs, and battlefield control. In other words, the stuff a bard *should* be doing.
Voren, level 7 tiefling alchemist. He was remarkably effective during the battle with the BBEG, so much so that he spent 6 rounds under the effects of a Hold Person. His big issue is that he's too worried about splash damage. He could have mopped the floor with the BBEG, *IF* he'd been willing to hit Malek with splash damage a bit more. He was also trying to be the party's main healer, which isn't a good place for an alchemist to be.
Izran, level 7 undine gunslinger. The most useless 7th-level character I've ever seen. He gets off one shot for 1d8 every other round. I need help on how you optimize a gunslinger to be at least somewhat effective. At the moment, he's just a joke of deadweight.
That's it for the living...
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Plus the Mr Stereotype's divine caster to be announced when ready?
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Plus the Mr Stereotype's divine caster to be announced when ready?
Yep.
For now I've got meetings at 9, 1:30, and 3:30 PDT and I've got to prep for all of them, so I'm afraid the writeup of the epic battle will be tonight.
But this was definitely one of the best battles I've run for the kids, because they learned most of their shortcomings in a single fight, only one PC died, and that PC died due to bad decisions rather than a vicious GM.
I swear, I'm killing so many of the kids' PCs the parents are beginning to wonder about me as a GM. So each time I have to explain, "This is how your son managed to get his character killed," and they say, "Ah, I see. OK. I guess that's reasonable."
When parents agree that your once-a-session kill rate is perfectly reasonable, you know some bad choices are being made...
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Plus the Mr Stereotype's divine caster to be announced when ready?Yep.
For now I've got meetings at 9, 1:30, and 3:30 PDT and I've got to prep for all of them, so I'm afraid the writeup of the epic battle will be tonight.
But this was definitely one of the best battles I've run for the kids, because they learned most of their shortcomings in a single fight, only one PC died, and that PC died due to bad decisions rather than a vicious GM.
I swear, I'm killing so many of the kids' PCs the parents are beginning to wonder about me as a GM. So each time I have to explain, "This is how your son managed to get his character killed," and they say, "Ah, I see. OK. I guess that's reasonable."
When parents agree that your once-a-session kill rate is perfectly reasonable, you know some bad choices are being made...
Bah. That's nothing. In a proper* Legend Of Five Rings game there should be at least two deaths per session - a minimum of one seppuku and one death in duel! :P
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I told my party when we started Skull & Shackles i wasn't going to pull any punches, its gotten so bad we now draw straws to see who is "Captain Redshirt" as we've been calling them, last time we played my daughter drew the straw, bribed someone else to be Captain then both were killed by a Wolf's-in-Sheep's-Clothing (no one can resist a Monkey dancing oddly on a stump it seems:-p)
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Oh, gods. Speaking of silly moments, we all remember how MY wolf-in-sheep's clothing did. (The 10-Kuthona-4707 entry in that post.)
I will never again use plants against that party...
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To be fair, I'm not certain much of anything would work against that party, short of a tactical nuclear strike.
And even that's assuming one of them doesn't catch wind of the incoming strike before it happens.
Yeah, they're pretty much the reason I started this thread. Went through Curse of the Crimson Throne with GothBard playing the bard and calling the tactics, and the party of 4 had little trouble. Went through Rise of the Runelords with Gothbard as Raesh calling the shots with Torath-as-Shiro providing advice and it was a curb-stompin' bad guy fiasco.
Then Gothbard GM'ed Second Darkness and I got to see just how much tactics affect the game; 15-point builds, 7 players... and an utter catastrophe. "I shoot the least-wounded one!"
My favorite moment: When so many enemies were wounded but not down that my CHA 20 life oracle couldn't do an exclusive channel without healing bad guys... without a single area effect spell being used!
The sad thing is... the kids are only the second-worst group I'm running. My "new" Crimson Throne group (the same group that failed Second Darkness) is setting a new record in incompetence; for example, 6 3rd-level PCs took a 3-hour combat to defeat a single ogre spider, and 3 derro were a seriously difficult fight for them.
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Yay for story hour :-)
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Izran, level 7 undine gunslinger. The most useless 7th-level character I've ever seen. He gets off one shot for 1d8 every other round. I need help on how you optimize a gunslinger to be at least somewhat effective. At the moment, he's just a joke of deadweight.
The nastiest gunslinger I've put together is a high-level concept, but the basic shtick is as follows:
Gunslinger 5th (Dex to damage with one-handed firearm)/Unchained Rogue 3rd. EWP (axe-pistol: combined hand axe/pistol, similar concept to the axe-musket, only one-handed). At 8th level (3rd unchained rogue), he uses Dex to damage for the axe part. Gunslinger 5th gives Dex to damage for the pistol part. Afterwards, it's just a matter of getting axe-pistols of the infinite sky. If you use the automatic bonus progression from Unchained, the price drops considerably. At low-level, the basic idea is *bang*bang*, (move to flank with Malek), TWF chopping into hamburger ensues. Added bonus for upgrading to sunblade axe-pistols of the infinite sky or brilliant energy axe-pistols of the infinite sky.
After 8th, use whatever you like, although I went with Inquisitor. Why? SAVE MACHINE (Stalwart and Evasion? Yes please!). Sanctified Slayer archetyped Inquisitor is spectacularly nasty since they get all kinds of nasty with sneak attack goodies.
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The Battle Rages On
We resumed the battle last night, with Malek having just broken free of Issilar's control. At first it was a frustrating stalemate for the kids; Issilar dropped a Web on the entire room, and was sitting pretty way up high on the wall, buffed with Spider Climb, Shield, Mirror Image, Blur, and Protection from Arrows. Hooken was still essentially out of the fight, having been dropped to 3 hit points by Malek, and Voren was hanging back and healing him. Narmina could perform but do little else, and Izren was just plain appallingly useless, not even able to hit with his 1d8 pistol that wouldn't do any damage anyway. Nithiri (female vishkanya magus, played by Mr. Stereotype) tried to put a Flaming Sphere on Issilar, but couldn't penetrate his spell resistance.
So Malek decided to do what Malek does best: Surprise the GM. "I climb the wall and get a... 30. Is that enough?"
"Yes, but you're only going to be able to move at a quarter speed."
"I have a climb speed of 20'."
"You have WHAT!?!?!"
Yes, Malek, raging engine of death, walked through the web like it wasn't even there, then climbed right up next to Issilar to get good and cozy. Issilar did not approve, and hit Malek with Hold Person. Since Malek had a climb speed, I allowed him to remain frozen against the wall. The next round, with Malek paralyzed and no one else any threat at all, Issilar coup de graced Malek. For all of 3 points of damage. Yes. I rolled a 3 on 2d4. And with his DR, Malek took 2 points. I made him roll the Fortitude save anyway, and it was somewhere in the 20's. So much for killing off the frog-o-doom!
The next 12 rounds or so were a combination of hilarity, incompetence, and deadliness. Voren showed up and hit Issilar with a bomb, which caught him on fire, which made him lose a spell the next round. (Re-reading the rules on bombs, looks like I messed up, but I had him roll a Reflex save and he got a natural 1, so, meh...) Voren also started trying to Dispel the Hold Person on Malek. In return, Voren joined Malek in Hold Person-ville. Even lowly Izran managed to pop an image. Narmina was performing and taking an occasional shot, but doing very little.
Hooken and Nithiri earn "special achievement awards", however. Hooken got to the web, and got stuck in it. He freed himself, tried to move, and got stuck again. Freed himself again, then rolled a natural 1. It's a good thing the combat lasted as long as it did, because Hooken took his own sweet time getting there.
Nithiri was a curiosity in and of herself. In spite of having both Fireball and Euphoric Cloud in her arsenal, she had no missile weapon, no way to fly, yet was determined to get to Issilar. She first tried to climb the wall with a -1 Climb skill. This was... ineffective. Then she spent THREE ROUNDS making Acrobatics rolls (at +1) to try to parkour up the wall. On her third round, she rolled a natural 20, so with the +5 house rule I figured her 26 made it, leaving her clinging desperately to the top of the wall. So Issilar hit her with a Lightning Bolt, dropping her into the webbing, then lit the webbing on fire with Burning Hands the next round. Yeah, she didn't have a great day.
It was just bad, bad, bad, 'til Hooken's dice found their groove. One crit from an angry ranger really ruins your day, Protection from Arrows or no. A low roll by Hooken on his second crit saved Issilar's life thanks to his Blur spell.
What about Malek, you ask? Well, after the Hold Person wore off Issilar hit him with Charm Person, taking him out of the fight for good.
Malek, o Malek! Your teensy frog brain is the envy of GMs throughout the world!
So eventually Hooken drove Issilar to flee (in a bit of irony, the only one doing major damage was also the only one to save against Issilar. If Hooken had been charmed, it would have been very, very ugly.) Issilar scuttled up the stairs, calling for help.
The party... chased him up a narrow staircase... single-file... leaving no squares open... while he was calling for reinforcements...
So yeah, Malek charged into a room with a girallon in front, four rock-throwing charou-ka behind it, and Issilar behind them, all of them with readied actions. Malek fled screaming out of the room with 18 hit points left, and his max is 93. Ouch.
So... your barbarian, who has more than double your hit points, was just forced to flee after a single round of combat with these guys. What do you do?
Apparently, Nithiri's answer is, "I walk up and hit them with an area effect save-or-suck spell!" She moved into position, accepting the attack of opportunity from the girallon, and let loose with her Euphoric Cloud, disabling 3 of the charou-ka, blocking sight from Issilar and the 4th, and putting her... 5' away from the perfectly-healthy girallon.
It took a 5' step to be completely out of the cloud, hit with all 5 attacks (including one claw crit), did rend damage, and Nithiri went to -19 hit points, dead dead dead.
The party wanted to flee, but wanted Nithiri's Ring of Sustenance so badly that it looked like they were going to risk a TPK to get it. Issilar resolved that quandary by having the girallon drag her corpse into the room.
The party fled the building, tails between their legs.
In a final indignity, as they were leaving, three fiendish mantises appeared in front of them. Voren bombed them and got yelled at by a woman's voice for his troubles. The mantises were their rear guard! (I swear, the looks on the kids' faces when they all realized, "Hey, these are RED mantises. And we made a deal with that Red Mantis lady to deliver an artifact to her. And that was a woman's voice..."
It was all awesome sauce...
EDIT: Requisite linky to obit.
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So Malek decided to do what Malek does best: Surprise the GM. "I climb the wall and get a... 30. Is that enough?"
"Yes, but you're only going to be able to move at a quarter speed."
"I have a climb speed of 20'."
"You have WHAT!?!?!"
Well, he is a frog after all. Well, frogfolk. They have climb speed. It's one of the few things they get mechanically. Their main advantage is how cute they are.
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Malek kind of reminds me of Hammy the Squirrel from Over The Hedge after he has caffeine and goes all matrix on everything:-)
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I need to get someone to GM pathfinder... I have two ideas for grippli characters: a grippli mantis-riding hunter and a grippli storm druid - small, bluish-green, wearing hooded robe, and using his own grammar.
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The party wanted to flee, but wanted Nithiri's Ring of Sustenance so badly that it looked like they were going to risk a TPK to get it.
Correction, Voren and a dead Nithiri wanted the ring but the rest of us wanted to flee.
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And Impus Minor joins the fray! Let's give a hearty welcome to Impus Minor, the *only* player with a lick of sense at that table!
(Just go back and re-read. Hooken's usually the one pulling everyone else (particularly Malek) out of the fire. But he's only 11, so the rest of the group isn't interested in his input. Makes for much more entertaining GM'ing. "Yeah, Impus Minor had the right idea, but let me remind you that you decided to xxx..."
Have I mentioned I'm a horrible person?)
And before the rest of y'all yell at me:
Narmina: The entire, "I want to have a suit that makes me look like a Medium creature, but I'm not going to pay any gold, skill points, or feats for it," fiasco. Plus, a damage-spell bard?!!?!
Voren: "We should stand and fight the army." 'nuf said.
Izran: Do I really need to justify calling Deady McDeaddead less-than-strategically astute?
He-or-She-Who-Has-Not-Yet-Been-Named: Xethos. More than enough said.
Malek. Yep. Not going there.
OK. I'm done.
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Oh, Gods. GothBard read this thread. And she's going to ask Impus Minor to retire his bard in favor of a Sable Company Marine (a hippogriff-riding ranger) for Crimson Throne.
What do I tell my group of adults when an 11-year-old utterly pwns them?
Impus Minor knows rangers, Lily.
(10 points if you can name that movie!)
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Correction, Voren and a dead Nithiri wanted the ring but the rest of us wanted to flee.The party wanted to flee, but wanted Nithiri's Ring of Sustenance so badly that it looked like they were going to risk a TPK to get it.
Welcome, Hooken. Tasty beverages are on the left. Engraving station's in the back next to the notary public. Snacks are on the right. :)
Oh, Gods. GothBard read this thread. And she's going to ask Impus Minor to retire his bard in favor of a Sable Company Marine (a hippogriff-riding ranger) for Crimson Throne.
What do I tell my group of adults when an 11-year-old utterly pwns them?
Impus Minor knows rangers, Lily.
(10 points if you can name that movie!)
Is it Legends of the Fall?
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Oh, Gods. GothBard read this thread. And she's going to ask Impus Minor to retire his bard in favor of a Sable Company Marine (a hippogriff-riding ranger) for Crimson Throne.
What do I tell my group of adults when an 11-year-old utterly pwns them?
You will gleam with paternal pride while secretly laughing at the rest of the party?
Mission: Impossible?
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And hello Hooken.
Using your character name on the messageboard? You know, nicknames used that way often stick. Are you ready for that?
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And hello Hooken.
Using your character name on the messageboard? You know, nicknames used that way often stick. Are you ready for that?
Impus Minor is a far cooler nickname. <grin>
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Impus Minor is a far cooler nickname. <grin>And hello Hooken.
Using your character name on the messageboard? You know, nicknames used that way often stick. Are you ready for that?
Approved. Motion passed. ;)
You can rename your account until you make a total of 10 or so posts, I think or something like that...
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You will gleam with paternal pride while secretly laughing at the rest of the party?Oh, Gods. GothBard read this thread. And she's going to ask Impus Minor to retire his bard in favor of a Sable Company Marine (a hippogriff-riding ranger) for Crimson Throne.
What do I tell my group of adults when an 11-year-old utterly pwns them?
I didn't ask what I would *DO*, I asked what I would *SAY*! :-P
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I didn't ask what I would *DO*, I asked what I would *SAY*! :-PYou will gleam with paternal pride while secretly laughing at the rest of the party?Oh, Gods. GothBard read this thread. And she's going to ask Impus Minor to retire his bard in favor of a Sable Company Marine (a hippogriff-riding ranger) for Crimson Throne.
What do I tell my group of adults when an 11-year-old utterly pwns them?
Let me rephrase my previous suggestion:
"Mwahahahahahaha!"?
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I didn't ask what I would *DO*, I asked what I would *SAY*! :-PYou will gleam with paternal pride while secretly laughing at the rest of the party?Oh, Gods. GothBard read this thread. And she's going to ask Impus Minor to retire his bard in favor of a Sable Company Marine (a hippogriff-riding ranger) for Crimson Throne.
What do I tell my group of adults when an 11-year-old utterly pwns them?
"Mental note: ... "
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Better?
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Better?
Fantastic!
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Is it Bridges of Madison County?
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OK, Cap. I'm going to ruin your attempts with the original: "I know things about pigeons, Lilly".
Does that help?
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OK, Cap. I'm going to ruin your attempts with the original: "I know things about pigeons, Lilly".
Does that help?
Mmmmm .... Cap was close I think ... should be In the Line of Fire.
Days of Thunder?
Nightmare Before Christmas?
Four Rooms?
The Life of Brian?
its gotta be one of those:-)
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Of course the sad part is i spent all the time i had at the computer today guessing movies i knew had no chance, it wasn't The Smurfs was it:-p