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Want to win a hardcover copy of the Heroes of Thornwall plus a tavern battlemap from Mike Schley? Now is your chance!
This is a special version of this contest that I'm only running here. This is the only place where I'm offering the 22"x28" battlemap, something I'm not offering anywhere else.
Click here to check out the map!
Here is how you can enter!
1: Download a copy of the Heroes of Thornwall PDF from DTRPG. (It's Pay What You Want so the price is right!)
2: Post a comment on this thread telling me something specific you liked, didn't like, or want to see in the next book.
3: On Friday (5/8) @ 10 PM EST I'll randomly choose one name from everyone that posted a comment here about the book, and I'll send that person a PRINT HARDCOVER copy of the book plus the POSTER MAP.
Get extra chances to win!
Want some extra chances to win? Tell a friend to enter as well and have them mention you in their post. I'll put your name in an extra time for each person that says your told them about this.
Why Am I Doing This?
Obviously getting the word out is important to any small publisher, but more importantly I'm prepping my next project and I'd really like to get feedback on this one. Hearing what you liked and want will help me a lot!
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A couple comments after reading the World of Aetaltis section.
Atlan is very similar to Aetaltis and causes a little confusion. Similar for Endroren and Enaros.
Atlans are the humans and non natives which is a neat twist.
No summoning or teleport magic, no druids or monks, no half races, no gnomes. Dwarves have volatile gunpowder, but there are no firearms.
Divine magic comes from the Enaros gods, but we only know one is Aelos who rules the moon, the last stop before the gods' afterlife. We also know Endrorden is the evil overthrown former ruler of the gods.
At first I thought the Drothmal were a human ethnicity, but I think they are a fully different race, not sure how to conceptualize what they look like besides barbarians. Same with the intellectual Newardins. I thought the Cheebats were halflings at first but it looks like they are different.
The follow up history in the village section is useful for a lot of world details.
A couple comments after reading the World of Aetaltis section.
Thanks for taking a look and for sharing. I made notes of your comments, and I'll definitely give them some thought.
I really struggled with how much world material to include. In particular, I get a lot of folks asking about the races.
We actually have playtest material for the races, so I'm going to share them with all of you. Feel free to download and check them out if you're interested. I also posted some concept art of the Drothmal to help you visualize them.
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I'm still working up my review (It's a big book!), but here are some observations thus far:
I like the detail put into the town of Thornwall with read aloud descriptions of many of the locations and a table of random events, many of which can be fleshed out into full sidequests.
I like how new GM friendly the entire product is.
I like how matter transfer is limited.
I love the art and cartography.
I dislike that many of the new races don't have physical descriptions.
The misspelling of Modren in its chapter header makes me sad.
Overall it is quite good!
I'm still working up my review (It's a big book!), but here are some observations thus far:
I like the detail put into the town of Thornwall with read aloud descriptions of many of the locations and a table of random events, many of which can be fleshed out into full sidequests.
I like how new GM friendly the entire product is.
I like how matter transfer is limited.
I love the art and cartography.
I dislike that many of the new races don't have physical descriptions.
The misspelling of Modren in its chapter header makes me sad.
Overall it is quite good!
Hi, Ken! Really glad that you like so much about the book. Thanks!
The misspelling is still there?? ACK! We saw that, fixed it, and replaced the PDF. I'll re-upload the corrected file ASAP! Thanks for noting that. FWIW the print version DEFINITELY has the fix!
For the race descriptions, yeah - clearly something I should have included. Once I get more playtest feedback from the race docs I posted (see my previous comment), I think I'll put out a free mini-race guide to make up for that oversight.
Thanks!
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@Marc - just looking at the race PDFs.
* Cheebat's Physical Description is too brief. I still have no idea what they look like.
* Drothmalen seem to have a Dorthmalen Code?
* Some Races have "Appearance" (Cheebat, Dwarf, Elf, Fairy, Halfling, Newardin, Scythaa, Orog, SPrite) and some have "Physical Description" (Drothmalen).
* Somehow Dwarves seemed to have snuck into your world. I have a sovereign cure for that, just PM me.
* Halflings also appear to ... appear in Aeltatis. Though they seem to be a rather direct port from one Dalelands to another. Poison their drinks, and they'll quickly disappear. You already have Cheebats...
* Why does the Newardine Complex Mind trait give them a bonus against diseases?
* Are Newardin distinctly asexual? Their names being bundled together gives this impression, but if it is concretely mentioned I missed it. [EDIT] - unless like the Scythaa they have interchangeable names regardless of gender[/EDIT]
* Orog Favored and Restricted Primary Cultures and Sprite Favored Secondary and Restricted Primary Cultures need capitals, unless you only capitalize the first culture, but I don't think you do for other races...
* Sprite have Spite racial characteristics.
Gaaah. I think I may have looked through an earlier version of these races? Anyway, the PDFs are looking neat.
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Ah, yes, now I remember - from an earlier thread regarding an NPC contest.
Interestingly Cheebats have changed from having greenish hair and skin to having skin that changes with their mood, but no mention of hair color.
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@Marc - note I am not entering the posted competition! So it's still wide open!!!!
Nice Marc!
I still have to download mine, but I will send all my friends here :)
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Things I like (so far, only about 1/3 of the way through the book):
The sidebar on Trust; Benefit of the Doubt; and Forgiveness (save me some face-palms XD )
The gods basically screwing over the dwarves, and the dwarves (understandably) effectively telling the gods to shove it. (Great source of conflict and RP ideas)
The random events and little side-quests to help build up relationships with the townsfolk.
Things I'd like to see:
Add me to the list of people who would have liked to have seen better descriptions of the new races.
I was going to suggest illustrations, also, but I got to page 56 and found the picture of Grezen, and so got a better idea of what a cheebat looks like.
Ah, yes, now I remember - from an earlier thread regarding an NPC contest.
Interestingly Cheebats have changed from having greenish hair and skin to having skin that changes with their mood, but no mention of hair color.
Yep - Cheebat are getting some tweaks. Early feedback was "So they're goblins?" which is not the point.
BTW - if you check the pregen section in the book, you'll find Scott Janke's (aka Curaigh on the boards) winning character from the contest! A fantastic character concept!
@Marc - just looking at the race PDFs.
This is all great! Thanks for all the details, typo catches, and more! I really appreciate it. I won't go item by item, but to answer a couple questions:
- Newardin Complex Mind: It does not give them a bonus against disease. That's a mistake.
- Newardin Gender: Newardin are not asexual. They do have interchangeable names. I'll clarify that!
And yes - you likely looked at an earlier version!
Thanks again!
Things I like (so far, only about 1/3 of the way through the book):
Thanks for the feedback. Based on the overwhelming comments about the races, in addition to the playtest documents I posted here, I'm working up a cleaned up and improved (with pictures) race playtest packet.
Thanks again!
Nice Marc!
I still have to download mine, but I will send all my friends here :)
Thanks! And make sure to tell them to check out pages 148-149! :)
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I'm also liking the description of Elias Mires.
I'm slipping in under the wire here, but I wanted to give myself the most time to check out the book. I have not had as much time as I would like to read it, but I have read as much as I can.
-The fiction at the chapter headers: I like that it's longer than what you find in Paizo's hardcovers, but not so long that I won't read it. That's a tough metric to meet because it it so vauge. However, I have noticed that Paizo's little blurbs are so short that I dont' pay attention to them. This is long enough that I'm getting some story (and a continuing one at that), but not so long that I think, "Meh, I'm not going to bother with that, lets get to what I'm reading this book for."
-The openness of the random events: I like that these ideas are open enough that a canny GM can have ANY of the townspeople be involved in many of the events. They are less encounters and more encounter ideas.
-The Map: That's just a beautiful town map
-Little pictures! Each unique location on the map is described later in the book. To help you find it there is a little picture next to it. This is a great idea!
-The Economy Rationale Sidebar: This is really useful for the occasional player who thinks that fantasy gaming economics should make sense.
-Menus, Recipes, and Tavern Games: I love food. I want to try some of these recipes now. I also love quick, simple games. Miners and Mountains is about as complicated as I would want to introduce to my players. I think it could be interesting to have PC's play this against NPC's. Use bluff vs sense motive is someone decides to cheat. *evil grin*
-Goodwill Mini-Game: This is what my players call a Mini-Game. A subsystem that tracks based upon player actions. They called the Trust system in The Haunting of Harrowstone a mini-game and enjoyed playing building their reputation immensely.
[bigger]Things I didn't like:
There wasn't a lot to dislike in this book. I did not have time to read it comprehensively enough to hit it with my normal editor's eye, but here's the things I picked up on that may have been better.
-No Town Statblock: I had a rant here, then found it on page 29.
-Where are the Race Stats? It looks like you addressed this with extra pdf's, but without looking here this morning, I kept thinking, "How am I going to let my players play a Cheebat? How can I stat up an Orog fighter?" Maybe include a note in the PDF version that the base player races are available in a free pdf on OBS, etc?
-Where is the Player's section? Is that perhaps also a pdf product that is separate? If so, a note in the text would be helpful to point us that way. Perhaps it is a $0.99 or free pdf available here and on OBS? Just a thought.
Overall, this is a well done and beautiful book for GM's to use. I'm glad I paid money for the pdf. I’m going to be using bits and pieces from this book for my home game.
I'm slipping in under the wire here, but I wanted to give myself the most time to check out the book. I have not had as much time as I would like to read it, but I have read as much as I can.
Thanks for the feedback, Itchy! This is fantastic stuff, and I really appreciate the time you took.
-Menus, Recipes, and Tavern Games: I love food. I want to try some of these recipes now.
If you do, let me know how it goes! The guy who wrote them up, Daniel "Doc" Myers, is a medieval cooking expert! http://www.medievalcookery.com/
-Where is the Player's section? Is that perhaps also a pdf product that is separate? If so, a note in the text would be helpful to point us that way. Perhaps it is a $0.99 or free pdf available here and on OBS? Just a thought.
This is a fabulous idea! I am definitely going to put one of these together! I'll let you know when I do! In fact, perhaps I'll put the races in there and make it a companion ebook people can use while they wait for the full campaign setting.
Thanks again!
I'm also liking the description of Elias Mires.
** spoiler omitted **
I am SO happy someone else saw and appreciate that. :) You made my day!
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Opportunities to Improve
Races
I too was a little confused by the races, at first thinking they were either new names for existing ones, or subdivisions of humanity. I agree that should have been more clear. Something like a PC race, you probably should always include a picture of them to help visualize them if they are not simply a renamed, tweaked version of an existing race. I’m not positive I like the idea of having all these new races in the starter product, but I suppose if they are crucial to the history and culture, it makes sense to cover them. I understand you are producing a download for the races. This could potentially be included in a ‘players’ options free downloadable supplement. However, GMs would expect this information too, so I’m disappointed it wasn’t in the main book.
Likes:
The coverage of Trust, Benefit of the Doubt and forgiveness I think is information that is really valuable to new GMs, or simply ones who hadn’t really thought that through. In reality, it also is of value to players too… helping them think about their actions in terms of how it impacts the story, and if they are letting the way they build their character derail their own enjoyment of the game. [depending on what they want]
The story of the historian interacting with the town was pretty neat way of providing flavor and help someone get the idea of this new setting. I really enjoyed reading it. I would hope that no critical information is hidden in there, as some might skip it, trying to get to more of the meat, but I think it was really well written.
I like the Sidequests and the concept and implementation of a system for tracking goodwill.
Additional Notes:
I have to admit… I was torn… I noticed the color map was beautiful, like a photograph almost, and but noticed the black and white version had the numbers on it… I thought to myself… why have both… you would have to look at two maps. Then it occurred to me that putting the numbers on the color map would detract from it almost seeming like a satellite photo. So I came to the conclusion I liked your decision, but I mention it because it did bring up questions when I first compared them.
I’m also going to say I was a little torn… in one sense having the items and services available listed at each location was neat… and I didn’t have a chance to compare prices to normal, but I somewhat wondered if it used more space than was really necessary. If the prices are the same, I would think it would be perhaps better to simply list the types of things that are available and not reproduce the pricelist everywhere. I did however, like the discussion of tradegoods and mentioning that items that are considered imports or exports could/should impact the base price a little bit.
Overall, I enjoyed going over this and will continue to dive further into it. I could see the city being useful in any setting, being able to work out any setting differences relatively easily. I liked the artwork and layout, the concept of the world seems engaging.
I strongly think a Players guide being available for download would be a welcome item, and would help GMs encourage their players to get into the game.
It could include the base restrictions for race, class, magic, etc. It could include your race information, and you might consider offering some campaign traits relating to people areas in and around Thornwall.
Opportunities to Improve: I too was a little confused by the races, at first thinking they were either new names for existing ones, or subdivisions of humanity. I agree that should have been more clear.
Yep. Gotcha on this! If you're looking to offer more advice, I'd be happy to hear what you think of the playtest races I posted. I may start a different thread for that to avoid cluttering up this one.
I have to admit… I was torn… I noticed the color map was beautiful, like a photograph almost, and but noticed the black and white version had the numbers on it… I thought to myself… why have both… you would have to look at two maps. Then it occurred to me that putting the numbers on the color map would detract from it almost seeming like...
I have maps in B&W, Color, and on line on Parchment for all the maps. I also have them with numbers and no numbers in each format. I'll probably make them all available for download at some point in the near future.
And thanks for all the other excellent feedback. Great stuff!
The misspelling is still there?? ACK! We saw that, fixed it, and replaced the PDF. I'll re-upload the corrected file ASAP! Thanks for noting that. FWIW the print version DEFINITELY has the fix!For the race descriptions, yeah - clearly something I should have included. Once I get more playtest feedback from the race docs I posted (see my previous comment), I think I'll put out a free mini-race guide to make up for that oversight.
Thanks!
Make sure that you fix it in the title of the chapter, and the table of contents in the front of the book.
Another thing to consider, potentially a premium PDF that incorporates the maps anc includes hyperlinks to their discriptions, and inhabitants and there information, etc. With electronic distribution this can be a great convienence.
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And the winner is....
Congratulations to Itchy on winning the hardcover copy of Heroes of Thornwall and the poster map.
And thank you to EVERYONE for your feedback. This has been fantastic, and I can't thank you enough for all your help. Thanks to your comments I've got my next mini-project mapped out (the player's guide), caught an ugly typo, and got some fantastic guidance for the next book.
I hope that I can continue to share new material with you in the future. Even this short round of feedback made a big difference.
Thanks!
Marc
www.aetalts.com
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Congratulations Itchy!
Thanks for running this contest Marc!
Congratulations Itchy!
Thanks for running this contest Marc!
My pleasure!
- Marc
Thank you! I'm looking forward to the arrival. I'm cannibalizing some stuff out of this book for my home campaign. :)