So I have two players who have had a falling out

[Durngrun Stonebreaker]

Chris Lambertz wrote:

A note: this thread isn't intended for discussion surrounding the practices of our moderators. If you notice posts being removed and want clarification, you should email our [e-mail] inbox, rather than derailing the conversation.

We know it's not a thread for discussing moderators because all of those threads are locked. (Emoticon denoting light-hearted post)

[Kobold Catgirl]

Aw, you missed a great opportunity to ironically delete our posts, Chris! I'm disappointed. I'm totally gonna miss my quota.

Uh, I mean, yeah. Player drama. This is an interesting subject which I believe our forums tackle with insufficient fervor. Let us continue!

[KenderKin]

I know there exists entire threads of KC and his various aliases arguing amongst themselves.

My question is has a moderator ever had to make you play nice with yourself?

[Kobold Catgirl]

Actually, fun fact: Buried in the legalese of the Community Guidelines is a clause that exempts me from the "Personal insult/abusive" rule. So I can insult myself all I want.

[knightnday]

Bit of advice I saw regarding empathy and posting: find someone who's opinion you can tolerate and/or trust who has empathy/can read social queues/whatever feature you are lacking in. Ask them if your post/comment is over the line, hurtful, or otherwise not cool. Listen to what they have to say.

As far as the OP goes, I'd echo others and try to get them to communicate and fix this outside the game. Arguing, despite evidence to the contrary on the Internet, is not fun for people, especially those not involved in the argument but sitting waiting to play the game. Check the drama at the door and have a sit down somewhere neutral.

[Arturius Fischer]

Some good posts (I particularly enjoy TacticsLion's Wall O Text), but the big problem is that we don't have enough details to assess this reasonably in one way or another. There's just too many questions that we don't have answers for. And, in that absence of information, people assume things one way or the other and build off those assumptions, getting into arguments where neither side has all the info.

Some important questions are:

How many players are there total?
Do they prefer focusing on the game or is the game the excuse for them getting together?
How long does a session tend to last?
How much time is taken up by play VS how much time is taken up by T's venting? (And later A's counter-ranting.)
Do the rest of the players enjoy/desire for T to vent each time?
Do the rest of the players enjoy/desire for A to counter-vent each time?
Have you put any solutions to a vote to see what the group things about it?
Have you considered having a seperate 'show up time' and 'game start time' so that people can get the non-gaming related stuff out of their system?
(I have 4 players in my group. This phase lasts about an hour to an hour and a half each time.)
NOTE: It might help to allow people who specifically PREFER the game to show up at game time instead of the former time as long as they are ready to go. That way 'A' can show up for the game, but 'T' can still vent to those who want to listen.
Are there any other players you can include when/if A and/or T leave the game?

[Chris Lambertz]

Removed some baiting posts. Don't do this thing.

[DM Under The Bridge]

So many of my posts were deleted, including compliments, that I feel like I have entered a time paradox.

[Kalindlara]

DM Under The Bridge wrote:

So many of my posts were deleted, including compliments, that I feel like I have entered a time paradox.

The moderators delete anything that quotes a deleted post, even if the quoting post has nothing objectionable in and of itself. (Just in case you weren't aware.)

Also, I suspect that a certain term used in your next post may be involved in the mods' decision to delete certain posts. Just a theory, though - I can't speak for them. :)

[Kobold Catgirl]

it.

[Kobold Catgirl]

used to

DM Under The Bridge wrote:

So many of my posts were deleted, including compliments, that I feel like I have entered a time paradox.

You get

[Rynjin]

KC, I say this as your friend.

[Kalindlara]

Seriously. Danger Zone.

[Kobold Catgirl]

It's never that time for me.

It, however, occasionally time for me to go into the doghouse in the Cleavers' front yard and think about what I've done.

While posting.

[Aranna]

Arturius I am guessing that the OP ran away from this a long time ago.

[Kalindlara]

I've been checking both the account he posted this thread under and his main, and neither have posted in days - since Monday, I believe.

He might simply be too busy to post, or cut off from the Internet, or kidnapped by ninjas or something. :)

[DM Under The Bridge]

Mods kidnapped him and put him in a black site.

[DM Under The Bridge]

Aranna wrote:

Arturius I am guessing that the OP ran away from this a long time ago.

Why do they run?

[Kalindlara]

DM Under The Bridge wrote:

Mods kidnapped him and put him in a black site.

I don't think that was the moderators...

[Avarna]

I'll admit, that I've not read all the responses to this, so I'll apologize in advance if I repeat something someone has already said. That said, I still feel like putting my two cents in.

I've known people like Player A, and to a lesser degree have had similar experiences. Wanting to save people from themselves. Solve the problems of the world etc, etc.... But eventually they reach a breaking point. It wears on a person when you give someone advice, get them where they need to be to get help.... and then watch as it all falls apart because the person isn't ready for the help, fails to follow through with things like paperwork, or go to appointments.

Player T, is used to having player A be their knight in shining armor. The one person they can vent too, etc, etc.. And frankly could be taking advantage of Player A's good nature.

Either Player T needs to accept the change that's come over Player A, just as Player A has accepted the change that's come over Player T. Player A doesn't want to hear about other people's problems because it could easily be the same stuff again and again, without Player T taking responsibility for their actions, and making movement to resolve these problems.

I don't have an answer for the OP, because HE doesn't need an answer. The issue is between the PLAYERS and THEY are the ones that need to sort things out.

[KenderKin]

DM Under The Bridge wrote:

Mods kidnapped him and put him in a black site.

Pretty sure the furr-petrators where described as hairy and plush. Last seen stopping at every fire hydrant.......

[Arturius Fischer]

Aranna wrote:

Arturius I am guessing that the OP ran away from this a long time ago.

I think you are right. I was hoping for an update at some point, even if the end result wasn't good for one, both, or all of them. Always helps to have information on how things went so that you can at least learn something out of the ordeal.

Avarna wrote:

I don't have an answer for the OP, because HE doesn't need an answer. The issue is between the PLAYERS and THEY are the ones that need to sort things out.

Aaaaand that about sums it up, too.