So my first post which happened quite some time ago was about a race called Grimmlings. I after all this time have developed the specs for a race of Grimmlings comparable to how the Draw are to elves. I come here to the forums to receive help cleaning this up.
As of right now I am posting from a mobile device so please excuse my lack of formatting.
Race name : Alurai
Fey
Move speed 30 ft
Specialized: -2 intelligence, +2 to both strength and dexterity
Xenophobic: Sylvan. The can learn as bonus languages: aklo, common, undercommon, abyssal.
Slapping tail: deals d8 damage
Claws: deals d4 damage
Bite: deals d4 damage
Dark vision: 60 ft
Scent
Stalker: receives perception and stealth as class skills
That should be everything if I forgot anything let me know. I'm currently working on flavor text, right now I'm focusing on the mechanics. Although the theme is supposed to be sort of feral, hunters.
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So, off the bat, plan is 4 natural weapons? Seems a bit excessive for any PC race. Then Scent AND Darkvision, with bonuses to perception and stealth.
Just seems like your making a race that really only functions in one or two class roles. Is this a race to play as a certain class? Can they be anything else?
I will add that xenophobic as per the race creator does some pretty major limitations for PC race options, especially when combined with your negative intelligence modifier.
Futhermore, why not just play an existing race and call them your thing? Why does your race need the above, instead of using an existing race which you rename?
Well originally it was supposed to be part of a homebrew setting I'm doing. I used the xenophobic thing to counteract and intelligence penalty to counteract the physical combat prowess. I am willing to get rid of either scent or dark vision , I did think having both would be a bit much. Lastly none of the other races fit what I'm looking for, I also like designing races which is why I made my own, and this race is supposed to act as an evil more feral counterpart to one of my previously designed races.
Below is a race i built for the Claptraps from borderlands. It should serve well as a standard for a finished bult race. A big note is everything beyond the mechanics from the race builder is what makes it come alive as a race (although it sounds like you got that well in hand, and that this thread is only for the core mechanics aspect).
That said, what you have presented is a very flat race. It is very good at one thing, maybe 2 but just unapealing at anything else. It is so martial based that building it as anything else just isnt worth it. This is a big reason that the Orc is bad mechanically and only intended as a monster, not a player. Big, stupid and hits things. No matter what, its a stupid caster, an ugly bard, or an unwise cleric. Its too flat/one dimentional.
A breakdown.
Specialized stats: dex and str. Encourages martial.
Slaping tail, claws and bite: Screams martial. Almost zero benefit to caster/party face/skill monkey/ect.
Stalker/scent/vision: a focus on seeing and remaining unseen. Good for most any class, no real advantage either or.
Xenophobic: means its easier being dumb (worse, uncooperative). Its even harder to talk it out, instead just kill it.
The obvious exception to all this is the rogue. This SCREAMS rogue. 4 sneak attacks, enhanced senses, less int but who cares? Skill points out the wazoo.
VERY rogue based and almost zero incentive to be anything else, making it a very lopsided race :s
Final verdict? Unamiously favors a martial of almost any kind but especially a rogue. Almost no draw for anything else, worse it often penalizes playing anything else.
Now this advice is for if you want to make the race as a PC race. As a monster race where the players face it, great! Go for it :)
Should probably add something good for a shaman/sorcerer class, as those are often the "leaders" or at least of great importance in a martial dominated society.
CL4P-TP General Purpose Robots, more commonly known as Claptraps are built and manufactured by Hyperion as manual labour work robots. Due to little maintenance, constant abuse and a hazardous environment Claptraps have developed all sorts of personality quirks and Eccentric personas. Programed to be helpful most Claptraps will generally seek to aid those around them with almost constant cheery atitudes and be as annoyingly helpful as possible. This consideration rarely goes both ways as most other races on the planet see them as little more than scrap metal to be kicked and abused if not outright eaten. Claptraps have a special animosity towards the roaming bandits as they often use them for target practice or dismantle/destroy them in some other humorous fashion.
Alignment: Claptraps are generally lawful neutral as they dutifully follow their programming with little care for anything else though some can take a moral stance. Occasionally a Claptrap will go "Rogue" completely abandoning their programming and have a very radical shift in alignment. These rogue Claptraps will often attempt to join the nearest bandit camp or risk being dismantled by those who see them as 'faulty.' Attempting to align with the bandits is hazardous and rarely successful as they are often seen as just another target to shoot.
Classes: Most Claptraps tend to be manual labourers and never rise above the status of commoner but of those that do rise from the dregs often become paladins or rangers, helping out those around them and healing those that they can. Rogues, fighters and gunslingers are also seen as they take up whatever means of weaponry they have available to them. There are a few rare CL4P-TPs that take up alchemy, creating different oils and lubricants and lobbing grenades at those deemed a threat, or wizardry, creating technological effects so powerful as to be called spellcraft. Of the Claptraps that go rogue, they often take up the mantle of an inquisitor, rogue, anti-paladin or even assassin as a way of enforcing their own ideals on the world. There is even a CL4P-TP Ninja out there...
You will probably never see a Claptrap Cavalier.
Ability Score Racial Traits: CL4P-TPs are small and weak but their circuitry allows for quick processing and reactions. They gain +2 Dexterity, +2 Intelligence, and –2 Strength.
Type: CL4P-TPs are humanoids with the robotic subtype.
Size: CL4P-TPs are Small creatures and thus gain a +1 size bonus to their AC, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, a –1 penalty to their CMB and CMD, and a +4 size bonus on Stealth checks.
Base Speed: CL4P-TPs are fast for their size, and have a base speed of 30 feet.
Languages: CL4P-TPs begin play speaking Common. CL4P-TPs with high Intelligence scores can choose any languages they want (except secret languages, such as Druidic). See the Linguistics skill page for more information about these languages.
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Blind Panic: Whenever a CL4P-TP is reduced to half its hit points or fewer and has no conscious ally within 30 feet, it gains a +2 racial bonus on melee attack rolls and to Armor Class.
Constructed: For the purposes of effects targeting creatures by type (such as a ranger's favored enemy and bane weapons), CL4P-TPs count as both humanoids and constructs. CL4P-TPs gain a +4 racial bonus on all saving throws against mind-affecting effects, paralysis, poison, and stun effects, are not subject to fatigue or exhaustion, and are immune to disease and sleep effects. CL4P-TPs can never gain morale bonuses, and are immune to all emotion-based effects except fear effects.
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Eccentric CL4P-TPs have been known to have any of a number of bizare personality quirks. Choose one Perform skill. Gain +2 racial bonus to that skill.
Emotionless: CL4P-TPs have problems processing emotions properly, and thus take a –4 penalty on Sense Motive checks.
Wheeled: Jumping is quite difficult when you only have 1 wheel and no legs! CL4P-TPs take a -4 penalty to all acrobatics checks made to jump and do not have a feet slot.
Master Tinker: CL4P-TPs have a natural affinity with robotics and machinery. They gain a +1 bonus on Disable Device and Knowledge (engineering) checks and are also treated as proficient with any weapon they have personally crafted.
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Darkvision: CL4P-TPs see perfectly in the dark up to 60 feet.
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Alchemist Add one extract formula from the alchemist formula list to the character's formula book. This formula must be at least one level below the highest formula level the alchemist can create.
Bard Add 1 to the CL4P-TPs total number of bardic performance rounds a day.
Gunslinger Add +1/3 on critical hit confirmation rolls made with firearms (maximum bonus of +5). This bonus does not stack with Critical Focus.
Paladin Add +1/2 hp to the paladin's lay on hands ability (whether using it to heal or harm).
Ranger Add +1 hit point to the ranger's animal companion. If the CL4P-TP ever replaces his animal companion, the new animal companion gains these bonus hit points.
Rogue The rogue gains +1/6 of a new rogue talent.
Wizard Add one spell from the wizard spell list to the wizard's spellbook. This spell must be at least one level below the highest spell level the wizard can cast.
The CL4P-TP series was one of the last created by the Dahl Corporation and the series was known for its tendencies to malfunction or otherwise become exceedingly eccentric. Programed to serve and repair they were created to be maintainence bots or to do other manual labour and this they do well and with cheery attitudes.
A CL4P-TP stands just over 2 feet high with a slim build supported by a single wheel, and have two spindly arms ending in a pair of surprisingly dextrous pincers. At the top-center of the chassis lies a single lens that acts as their eye to the world and their front pannel hinges open to reveal a compartment used to store whatever odds and ends they collect.
While they are always ready to help out with a cheery attitude or to offer advice, they tend to come off as annoying more than anything else and due to their extensive memory banks they can be known for being know-it-alls. Often in attempts to cheer others up or simply to while away the time a few have been known to take to singing or dancing, further cementing their annoying image yet dispite these outbursts of "personality" they are usually content with remaining in the background supporting and fixing out of the spotlight.
I might change up then skills maybe stealth and intimidate, I might get rid of scent dark vision is more common and more easy to accept among a PC race which this is supposed to be. I was honestly going for this to be more martial focused maybe I should change the dex bonus to a wisdom bonus or something? I am willing to switch the claws to something if you have any suggestions.
Sorry for a double post but this point is so importiant that it needs its own post :s
You are using an inteligence and social penalty to counteract a martial strength.
This is just very bad design. Its like saying "You are too strong and fast. That is not good! So we made you alergic to icecream to compensate."
Instead, look at light sensitivity/blindedness as a weakness instead. Or possibly a con/str penalty (fast and agile, capable of a whirlwind assault but lacks in brute force/endurance). Even small size is a good idea in this regards. Another option is a non-mechanical meakness. Think of the Strix, who hate humans and are universally shunned or the goblins who are almost always killed on sight.
2 last ideas, make them craven. Strong but unlikely to use direct confrontation. Or make them hated by everyone. I mean everyone. They are alone against the world and even enemies will band against them. They need to be strong to survive.
Anyways, food for thought :)
Actually them being hated is part of the flavoring I'm writing for it. Basically they are universally hated and feared by everything, being creatures that maim and kill. Anything that doesn't die is basically tortured into submission. They care very little for others and view everything that is not themself as prey. They lack technological advances and keeping things submerged in darkness as it reminds them of the old days when people were scared of the terrors that lurk in the shadows. That's what I have so far anyway, I was considering light sensitivity just to balance them.
Okay here are the current changes
Light sensitivity- weakness, dazzled condition in bright light
Changing stats to bonuses to strength and wisdom, penalty to constitution
Getting rid of scent maybe adding fast 10 to base land speed ( a different way to simulate them being fast)
I always feel like it's sort of backwards to stat the race first and then give them fluff rather than the other way around.
Well I had an idea for the fluff its just a matter of actually typing it up at this point
Probably the biggest difference between these Grimmlings and the Claptraps is its staying power. Beyond this particular character, who could this race be? Using the Claptrap i have so far made an alchemist/bard. A gunslinger sargent. A mechanic who builds his own array of wierd and wonderful weaponry. Build the race to last.
Sugestions:
Drop the claws or drop the bite and tail attack (probably the former). Both is just excessive. A Grimmling barbarian can still gain claws if it desires.
Scent and darkvision is fine having both. I probably would not add a wis bonus on top as well (getting too specialized again).
Stat arrays. Drop either the str or dex bonus (looks like you would prefer having the str bonus). How about this idea?
+2 Str, -2 Dex, -2 Cha. Grimmlings are strong but their bulk tends to slow them down. Grimmlings also tends to view other races with scorn or derision.
However Grimmling society vererates sorcerers granting them... (modified version of the Pyromaniac magic trait).
This would give it a negative stat array but make up for it with sheer martial power and sorcerer/theme ability. Most importiant tho, it would give it a unique feel :)
Another idea:
+2 Str, -2 Wis. Grimmlings posess exceptional power, speed and keen senses but are otherwise unobservant.
Grimmlings have a base land speed of 40ft.
Simpler, makes them strong and fast. Great senses are not overdone and can still be invested in for great effect, but you can choose not to as well (via skill points and feats, ect).
More ideas:
Give them a reason or perk for not being a martial character (like above). Possibly a CL or stat bonus with a specific class/theme. .
Grant it a specific, additional (non-combat) feat. Some ideas might be improved initiative or lightning reflexes (speed idea). Spell/elemental focus. Dodge. 90ft darkvision. Ect.
When you are done, mind sending the finished product to me? Im getting more and more interested :)
Well I had an idea for the fluff its just a matter of actually typing it up at this point
If you write the fluff, the mechanics should come out well.
To me, a real key to making an interesting race is giving them meaningful flaws. Not just mechanical or physical ones either. Social and personality flaws. Mental flaws. Note that some of the iconic races have strengths and weaknesses that run counter to their strengths. Elves are incredibly smart, but often aloof or prideful. They're agile, but physically frail. Dwarves are friendly, loyal, and down-to-earth, but often portrayed as conceited and materialistic. They're hardy, but short and sluggish.
I am fine with dropping the claws, but I would like to keep the bite and tail or claws and tail. I like your second idea a lot for the stat array bonus to strength and penalty to wisdom. I will continue looking at spell like things to give them. As for a copy not a problem when it's finished I will most likely post the finished version on here for final inspection flavoring and all.
So do you intend for all these additions to be part of the base race or would they be configured to be alternate racial traits
Flavor is inside as well as mechanic and other things
2 RP Fey- 0 RP Base speed 30 feet
Low light vision
Fey need to eat, breathe, and sleep
0 RP Size- medium
0 RP -Standard- Ability scores- +2 strength, +2 intelligence, -2 wisdom - the Alurai are strong and learn surprisingly quickly, despite possessing keen senses their view of the world is shrouded by shadows and pride.
-1 RP- Language- Xenophobic- Sylvan. They can learn the following bonus languages: Aklo, Under-common, Abyssal, and Common
Racial traits
• Dark-vision- 60 feet 2 RP
• Scent 4 RP
• Slapping tail- D8 Damage 3 RP
• Bite- D4 damage 2 RP
• Fast- increase base land speed from 30 feet to 40 feet 1 RP
• Shadow caster- Members of this race add +1 to the saving throw DCs for their spells and spell-like abilities of the illusion (shadow) sub-school. 2 RP - alternate racial trait to bite.
• Static Bonus Feat – Dodge bonus feat -receive +1 dodge bonus to armor class. 2 RP
• Light Sensitivity (–1 RP): Weakness: Members of this race are dazzled as long as they remain in an area of bright light.
Have you ever wondered what lurks in the shadows? Those red piercing eyes, blood curdling screams. These feral vicious fey are known as Alurai.
Physical description
Alurai fur tends to match their hair color which can range from white to all sorts of exotic colors, the most common of which are black or blues. Alurai eyes are reverse colored, the sclera being the colored portion which can be virtually any color most common of which are dark reds or purples. They are 6 to 7 feet tall with their whip like tails being as long as they are tall and are as dangerous as any whip. The females tend to be taller and slimmer, while males tend to be shorter but stockier; although they tend to weigh between 120 to 190 pounds. The fur covering their bodies is only noticeable on the tail; elsewhere it is light enough to only affect the skin by adding a slight hue. The Alurai due to their more feral nature have much sharper longer fangs, they often use to rip flesh and maim their enemies.
Relations
The Alurai unlike the Grimmlings have do not care for the other races of the world. Actually they view them as little more than prey or slaves. The Alurai are hated by many other races and even many mortal enemies will put aside their differences in order to stop them. The Alurai invoke primal fears in people, skulking in the shadows, waiting for the hunt to begin. They have very little contact with the other races of the world in terms of trade or commerce as learning to communicate with them is not priority, anything they need is taken by force not negotiation.
The Alurai tend to live nearby small settlements, villages, they live in nearby caves, ruins, and forests or more commonly underground where the sun cannot hurt them.
Society
Alurai society is a meritocracy, a society run by the strongest. Leaders of society are determined by who has the most kills, most slaves, or is simply the strongest determined through combat. The only rule in Alurai society is to obey your superiors if you cannot best them, otherwise it is mostly anarchic.
Alignment and Religion
Unlike their Grimmling cousins who worship paragons and their “pool” the portal that lead them to Golarion, the Alurai are the result of the corruption and destruction of that “pool” driving the Grimmlings to madness and turning them into sadistic, prideful, corrupt versions of what they once were. Alurai very rarely worship gods or anything as they view themselves as better.
The Alurai can in fact be born, those born Alurai can in fact be as evil as any normal Alurai or as good as any other race although it is unlikely. Alurai are permanently corrupt right down to their soul so even if one is good they are view as evil even to magic.
Adventurers
Alurai adventurers are more common than you’d think. Most become barbarians, rangers or really any martial class. Those that have magical potential are seen as weak by the tribe which is why they often become adventurers to get away.
Nice! It is looking significantly better :)
Since i did not know the exact amount you were building for or what you viewed as most important i was offering ideas. Still, i like the alternate racial ability, i think that was a perfect way to do it :)
i would say it looks good, add a couple of favoured class bonus options, do a spell check/puncuation check and call it done :)
Well I thank everyone for the assistance, if there's anything left to say speak your peace otherwise I'm going to be calling this done.
Well bite and slapping tail are both always primary
I'm going to assume thats pretty much it. Unless there are any more things to add?
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Hmmm...so I think I'd go a different direction.
I think Catfolk are pretty close to your target race. A bit different, but I think that's the general idea. Their base is 9 RP.
Catfolk already have racial traits to swap out for scent or claws. They can take a feat to add claws too. They already have some pretty awesome archetype and skills related to your exact intended build (an agile semi-feral hunter race?..they can certainly do this).
You could change the race a bit, but I really think the catfolk are pretty close to your intended design. Might add a tail attack and swap low-light for darkvision, but I really don't think you need it on a PC race.
On a side note, the race creator in ARG isn't intended for NPC-only races, it's for characters. It really isn't a very good designer for NPC races, especially those which aren't going to interact with PCs in non-combat roles.
In example, tried so hard to use it to create a Beholder, but it just doesn't translate very well with that race creator. I'm much better off just designing the monster from scratch.
PS: my copy of ARG doesn't subtract any RP for xenophobic. Perhaps FAQed?
Its not supposed to but my group sort of house ruled that to be fair with linguist being 1 rp. This race is supposed to be intended for use, in a homebrew setting. Using mostly home brewed races.
Another difference is they count as fey not humanoid, and then low light vision comes with fey. The move faster as well and for the purposed of abilities and magic they always register as evil no matter the characters alignment
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Its not supposed to but my group sort of house ruled that to be fair with linguist being 1 rp. This race is supposed to be intended for use, in a homebrew setting. Using mostly home brewed races.
Another difference is they count as fey not humanoid, and then low light vision comes with fey. The move faster as well and for the purposed of abilities and magic they always register as evil no matter the characters alignment
So, is it a player race? Seems like always registering as evil would really kill most value for a non-evil adventurer.
I really don't think the race is suitable for an entire player race. Drow are mostly evil, and even their racial options are flexible enough where good drow do appear, from time to time. No diversity in your race.
If just an NPC race, strongly suggest ditching the race creator and just making whatever. Race creator really doesn't work too well for non-player races.
I suppose, if the idea is that your group doesn't mind twink characters which are the only member of their race, then race looks fine. Just seems lacking from the stance that the race represents an entire species. Looks like it's designed around only a few classes.