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Just posting this on the fly and I wanted to hear/read about some of your more memorable/odd murderhobo stories. Murderhobos, we see this bandied around a bit, but how has it come through in games and what were your best murderhobo moments that you have witnessed at the table?
A short one from me to start. Low level party, port city. They are raiding a thieves guild, and it is going well. A player arrives late, so I throw them in as an unaffiliated thief completing a job at the docks. They follow the commotion, and a few bodies floating in the water and from the blood trail follow the party into and through a rather large guild building.
The thief sees everything a few rounds after the players have been there. Bodies cut in half, blasted, doors torn off hinges. I describe this for the player, and they are shocked at the barbarity. The thieves didn't stand a chance, and it shows.
They continue to follow the party, and make quite the sum off what they have missed (combat specialists weren't the best at finding all the loot). The bodies pile up higher and just as the thief finds a secret stash missed by the party, he realises they are coming back.
The hunter-killers moving in perfect formation and step past him, very narrowly missing bumping into him, they do not notice his hiding place. These killers are dripping with blood, and don't seem human as they move unemotionally with steely-resolve indifferent to the slaughter. The thief thanks the gods he is not discovered, because these people "seem crazy!".
Session ends for all players, all were successful. Thief made the most coin. Thief decides not to join the party.
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Come sit, and listen awhile
One evening as the moons came up and the temple fire was burning
Down the path came a murderhobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a realm that's far away beside the crystal fountains
so join the party and we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the XP grows on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the laws are all empty and you would kill the sheriff anyway
On the swords and the boards and the barmaid hoards
Where hostages get saved after we been paid
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the guards have wooden legs
And the monsters all have rubber teeth and the barkeeps handover their kegs
The farmer's barns are full of loot, if they say no feel free to slay
Oh, I'm not bound to go where there ain't no gold
where those townsfolk should have killed us; truth be told
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never worry about locks
and if they are home you run them through no time for talks
the paladins have to tip their helms and all the lawful good are blind
If the party knew I’d kill them too
bury the dead without their gear is the thing to do
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, dungeons are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There will always be short swords, axes, saws when you need a way
so I'm a goin to stay where you flay all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
I'll see you all this Monty Haul in the Big Rock Candy Mountains
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My last true murderhobo was a 4th edition (not my favorite system but it was what was being played at the game store that night) character. I wasn't allowed back for organized play after this incident either. I built a dwarven knight who used an axe, and I knew how organized play worked so I decided to speed run/treat it like a 2nd edition dungeon. We start going through the dungeon and the dm noticed that I was moving quickly through, grabbing anything not nailed down and utilizing it if I could. First big no no was that we found a large garbage pit, I threw in a torch and sifted through the ashes to find any magical items. We found several bottles of dwarven ale which I used as alchemists fire, we found coins, I tied them in sacks and handed them to the others to use as weapons. Ripped off the sword from a statue because I wanted it, and broke doors down while having the others throw my dwarven alcohol bombs into the room. No looking into the room just throw the bottles. That night I earned the nickname "Loot n' Burn." We ended the session a full hour and a half earlier than the next group.
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This goes back a LONG time...
I was 16 or so, and the game was AD&D (1st edition). I had only been playing for a few years. I joined a new group, guys that were a little older than me, and had been playing together a while. I had so far only played with heroic groups, and was not yet familiar with evil murderhobo style play. I brought a NG ranger to the game, at level 1. The rest of the party were level 4 or 5 already. (In those days, you always started play with a L1 character, as there was no concept of balanced encounters or APL. But I digress.)
The party got to a town, found the inn, and almost immediately started a brawl-- which turned deadly, as the PCs drew swords and attacked the patrons, staff, and town guards that cane in to restore order. I was shocked, and my ranger died in PvP when he defended the bartender.
After the encounter, we had an out-of-game chat, and they said they always played evil characters and did stuff like that. But I could tell from the DM that he didn't really approve. So I then rolled up a 1st-level NE assassin. I slipped the DM a note, asking if I could find some poison, he rolled some dice and told me "yes."
We went on to the dungeon, and after some tough encounters, got to the treasure trove. But the other characters said I didn't deserve any treasure because I hadn't really contributed, they were higher level, and I only had about 4 hp. So I didn't get any treasure.
So that night, as the party camped out, I said I'd take last watch. Which they accepted (the trusting fools). I slipped the DM a note saying that I was poisoning every PCs' waterskin with the poison he let me get. He rolled my Move Silently check and slipped me a note that said "OK." Remember that, in those days, pretty much all poison was save-or-die.
Next morning as we break camp, the DM says, "OK, everyone except Hal make a save vs. Poison." Everyone failed. Everyone died. I looted their corpses and left them to rot.
We played heroic characters after that.
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One of my twisted friends tells of the time that his wizard was the only one to survive a hard encounter. i think this was in 2nd Ed.
He managed to get the party home, surgically implanted a marble next to each heart then had them resurrected none the wiser. Meanwhile he bought a whole pile of shatter spells and let the DM know that if anyone transgressed against his wizard he would use a scroll on them.
Cheers
This goes back a LONG time...
I was 16 or so, and the game was AD&D (1st edition). I had only been playing for a few years. I joined a new group, guys that were a little older than me, and had been playing together a while. I had so far only played with heroic groups, and was not yet familiar with evil murderhobo style play. I brought a NG ranger to the game, at level 1. The rest of the party were level 4 or 5 already. (In those days, you always started play with a L1 character, as there was no concept of balanced encounters or APL. But I digress.)
The party got to a town, found the inn, and almost immediately started a brawl-- which turned deadly, as the PCs drew swords and attacked the patrons, staff, and town guards that cane in to restore order. I was shocked, and my ranger died in PvP when he defended the bartender.
After the encounter, we had an out-of-game chat, and they said they always played evil characters and did stuff like that. But I could tell from the DM that he didn't really approve. So I then rolled up a 1st-level NE assassin. I slipped the DM a note, asking if I could find some poison, he rolled some dice and told me "yes."
We went on to the dungeon, and after some tough encounters, got to the treasure trove. But the other characters said I didn't deserve any treasure because I hadn't really contributed, they were higher level, and I only had about 4 hp. So I didn't get any treasure.
So that night, as the party camped out, I said I'd take last watch. Which they accepted (the trusting fools). I slipped the DM a note saying that I was poisoning every PCs' waterskin with the poison he let me get. He rolled my Move Silently check and slipped me a note that said "OK." Remember that, in those days, pretty much all poison was save-or-die.
Next morning as we break camp, the DM says, "OK, everyone except Hal make a save vs. Poison." Everyone failed. Everyone died. I looted their corpses and left them to rot.
We played heroic characters after that.
Very nice indeed.
Type E or F?