Does he have to be a PC class? I'm thinking Commoner with maxxed Con and uses an improvised weapon.
No, no, this is the right place...
I would say any spellcaster, let's say a sorcerer. Give them 7 charisma. VOILA! Free commoner. Just to make sure to give him 7 int (no skills). Spend all you WBL on turnips. Put all your stats in constitution (even that will not compensate much for your hit dice). Honestly, this is kinda discouraging...
So... a rogue?
No, no, you could just have a rogue take all the skill-related feats & rogue talents, and he would still be usefull (if useless in combat). Even at 3/4 bab he's better than a commoner.
half-orc wizard 20, favored class: something else
ST 8 DE 7 CO 7 IN 9 WE 17 CH 17, levelups in ST x3, CH x2, half-orc bonus in WE
Final stats: 11/7/7/9/19/19
Equipment: Blowgun, Buckler, Backpack filled with something heavy enough to bring him to a heavy load, splint mail
Feats: all wizard feats that do absolutely nothing if you can't cast spells
AC: 15
Attack: -3, 1d2 damage
he has 20 skill points total, 4 hitpoints +1d6-2 (average 2) per level for a total of 42 Hitpoints. Fort 4 Ref 4 Will 16.
Skill ranks: Acrobatics 2, disable device 7, ride 7, swim 4, in total +4 is the highest he has in any skill, most skills are negative in total
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now for his adversary!
Human Commoner 1
ST 18, DE 12, CO 14, IN 10, WE 12, CH 7
Feats: Toughness, Light Armor proficiency
Gear: Spear, Chain Shirt
AC: 15
Attack: +4, d8+6
HP: 11
Fort: 2 Ref: 1 Will: 1
Skills: Swim 6, Craft (Smith) 4, Perception 5
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He is not quite as durable as the level 20 wizard, but if it comes down to a 1v1 he will have a 50% chance to hit, while the wizard only hits 15% of the time. the wizard needs an average of 8 hits to knockout the commoner, while the commoner needs 4 hits on average and the commoner will propably win initiative
in the skills section the commoner is vastly superior. he will not instantly drown when confronted with water, he can craft some useful items and make some money and he is even a better person to watch for his partys back
Start kobold. With modifiers, stats turn out : 13/14/7/10/12/9. Favored class: antipaladin. Alignment: Lawful good (this will ensure he is targeted by as many anti-good powers as possible. Give him the "jester" racial trait to take away a perception bonus. Note: his strength isn't bad. I did this so I could waste as many points as possible on a stat with a -4 racial bonus. It could be lowered but I'm not sure where it would be less useful.
We give him a level in oracle. Take the dual-cursed archetype. I'm picking murky-eyed and deaf, though at higher levels I could see haunted as being a lot less useful. His mystery is heavens, power is awesome display. His feat is quicken spell. He has 4 skill points. One goes into heal. One goes into profession (gladiator). He buys an item that allows him to fly in order to place a rank in fly (and promptly loses that item). His final rank is in bluff, pushing his bluff to +0.
Make them blind, deaf and lame. Done.
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Challenge accepted.
Pod-Gill the Just Terrible, Venerable Pod-Spawned Gillman lv20
Level 1-True Primitive (Brb), Unbreakable (Ftr,) Monk of the Lotus (Mnk,) Holy Gun (Pal,) Wild Stalker (Rgr,) Carnivalist (Rog,) Musketeer (Cav,) Mysterious Stranger (Gun,) Sin Eater (Inq,) Soul Forger (Mag,) Synthesist (Sum,) Mindchemist (Alc,) Menhir Savant (Drd,) Scroll Scholar (Wiz,) Theologian (Cle,) Stargazer (Ocl,) Tattooed Sorcerer (Sor,) Court Bard (Brd,) Witch, Horizon Walker
Alignment - LE
HP 105
STR 10 (-10pts -6) DEX 10 (-10pts -6) CON 11 (-7pts +2 -6) INT 10 (+4pts 7+3) WIS 8 (+4pts 7+3-2) CHA 8 (+4pts 7+2+3-4)
Fort +27 Ref +12 Will +20
Skills (74pts): Knowledge (geography) 6 ranks +7, Profession (any 68 professions) 68ranks +1each
Feats: Any 10 metamagic feats
Attacks: Fine Mancatcher -5/-10 Damage: -
Class Abilities/Special Abilities:
cantrips, arcane bond (familiar parrot,) arcane school, scribe scroll, diligent student, aura, channel energy (secrets,) domain (knowledge, variant channel harm,) orisons, spontaneous casting, curse (clouded vision,) mystery, revelation (guiding star,) orisons, spontaneous casting, spirit sense, nature bond (domain seasons,) familiar tattoo, bloodline (destined,) mage's tattoo (bonus feat,) cantrips, hex (water lung,) patron's spells,heraldic expertise, cantrips, bardic performance, cognotagen, bomb, alchemy, brew potion, throw anything
fused link, cantrips, summon monster 1, illiterate, rage, favored terrain (desert)
endurance, diehard, vow of poverty, flurry of blows, unarmed strike, combat reflexes (bonus feat, have gun, amateur gunslinger, gunsmithing (bonus feats,) strong senses, track, wild empathy, familiar, trapfinding, gifted firearm, challenge, order of the seal, tactician (allied spellcaster,) grit (CHA-based), gunsmithing, deeds, eat sin, monster lore, stern gaze, judgment, orisons, arcane bond (fine mancatcher,) arcane pool, cantrips, favored terrain (astral plane)
Adventuring Gear: A Fine-sized Mancatcher (his arcane bonded weapon,) an ex-parrot (his familiar which has ceased to be,) a spellbook he refuses to read because he is an illiterate true primitive. Pod-Gill takes his Monk Vow of Poverty very seriously.
Pod-Gill sucks because he's stupid, old and a pod person, which means he can't cast his spells and none of his supernatural or spell-like abilities work. He never focused on any one skill or task in life so he's a complete wreck and he needs to stay wet or he will shrivel up and die. Basically, he's the worst and I hate him.
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That's what I came up with by adding all the 1st level classes together. Every class has a +2 in at least one save at level 1 except for the Horizon Walker because it's a prestige class. Classes with +2 to Reflex saves turned out to be the least plentiful while +2 Fort was most common. I didn't even give Pod-Gill any items or feats to boost his saves. Even with his saves as high as they are, he seems pretty weak for a level 20 character to me.
I dumped all his mental scores to start, blew the points on physical scores and then made him super old to destroy his physical scores and slightly raise his terrible mental scores. Finally Pod-Spawned gives him a -4 CHA. I almost made him a pod-spawned orc, but the gillman water dependence was too awful to pass up.
Challenge accepted.
Pod-Gill the Just Terrible, Venerable Pod-Spawned Gillman lv20
Level 1-True Primitive (Brb), Unbreakable (Ftr,) Monk of the Lotus (Mnk,) Holy Gun (Pal,) Wild Stalker (Rgr,) Carnivalist (Rog,) Musketeer (Cav,) Mysterious Stranger (Gun,) Sin Eater (Inq,) Soul Forger (Mag,) Synthesist (Sum,) Mindchemist (Alc,) Menhir Savant (Drd,) Scroll Scholar (Wiz,) Theologian (Cle,) Stargazer (Ocl,) Tattooed Sorcerer (Sor,) Court Bard (Brd,) Witch, Horizon WalkerAlignment - LE
HP 105
STR 10 (-10pts -6) DEX 10 (-10pts -6) CON 11 (-7pts +2 -6) INT 10 (+4pts 7+3) WIS 8 (+4pts 7+3-2) CHA 8 (+4pts 7+2+3-4)
Fort +27 Ref +12 Will +20Skills (74pts): Knowledge (geography) 6 ranks +7, Profession (any 68 professions) 68ranks +1each
Feats: Any 10 metamagic feats
Attacks: Fine Mancatcher -5/-10 Damage: -
Class Abilities/Special Abilities:
cantrips, arcane bond (familiar parrot,) arcane school, scribe scroll, diligent student, aura, channel energy (secrets,) domain (knowledge, variant channel harm,) orisons, spontaneous casting, curse (clouded vision,) mystery, revelation (guiding star,) orisons, spontaneous casting, spirit sense, nature bond (domain seasons,) familiar tattoo, bloodline (destined,) mage's tattoo (bonus feat,) cantrips, hex (water lung,) patron's spells,heraldic expertise, cantrips, bardic performance, cognotagen, bomb, alchemy, brew potion, throw anything
fused link, cantrips, summon monster 1, illiterate, rage, favored terrain (desert)
endurance, diehard, vow of poverty, flurry of blows, unarmed strike, combat reflexes (bonus feat, have gun, amateur gunslinger, gunsmithing (bonus feats,) strong senses, track, wild empathy, familiar, trapfinding, gifted firearm, challenge, order of the seal, tactician (allied spellcaster,) grit (CHA-based), gunsmithing, deeds, eat sin, monster lore, stern gaze, judgment, orisons, arcane bond (fine mancatcher,) arcane pool, cantrips, favored terrain...
This is amazing, but I still think it could be even better (worse) with the dual-cursed archetype. Blindness is good, but imagine all the other things you could give him to go with it. Might I recommend consumed?
Water dependence is amazing, but if you're going for "worst stats possible", it's hard to go wrong with kobold.
Also, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but gunslinger and fighter levels can't be stacked
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The true origin of Pod-Gill is mysterious and lost to time but there are rumors of how the creature came to exist. One story purports it all started with a gillman wizard named Gill the Potentially Terrible.
Gill was strong and tough but thick as pig-poop, which made his choice of careers seem like an all-around horrible idea. In addition to being an awful wizard, Gill proved completely ineffective as a firefighter, his first chosen profession. Gill's only endearing quality was also his greatest weakness.
You see, Gill was filled with wonder and curiosity and he was eager to explore the world and help others. Normally these traits would be considered admirable but Gill was an idiot and wanted to be as helpful and as useful as he could be in every situation imaginable. Over the course of several decades, Gill pursued dozens of careers for which he was wholly unqualified, his decision to swear off reading and writing by learning the ways of a primitive barbarian and his self-imposed vow of poverty only making his life choices seem even more bizarre and stupid as the years passed by.
Every now and then a party of adventurers would be fool enough to hire the helpful gillman thinking his range of skills and can-do attitude would prove useful, but Gill was always quickly stuck in the back of the party and told not to do anything. It was during one of these adventures Gill was given a thin twig vaguely resembling a mancatcher, a weapon his companions assumed would be too unwieldy and small for Gill to use to cause them any harm. Despite having no proficiency with the lilliputian mancatcher, it became Gill's prized possession and he later claimed it was bonded to him though no one ever saw any evidence of this.
Surviving countless battles solely by virtue of being told to stay out of the way, an aged Gill was finally swallowed by a bodythief. Somehow, the pod-spawned version of Gill that emerged from the plant sucked at life way more than the original and the bodythief contemplated suicide as it hung its leafy head in shame. Now, Pod-Gill goes about its life being horrible at everything and embarrassing its perennial progenitor in front of all its bodythief friends.