Question about a book

[NecroMaster]

Hello I am looking for some opinions on something I wrote. It is a long story but it boils down to I awoke one night with an idea in my head I could get out and typed it up on the computer. Since then I have been adding to it here and there and it has taken a life of it's own now. Currently I have over 35 pages typed up in MS word and over 32,000 words. Below is a paragraph out of the first chapter. I would welcome any feedback.

The hallway suddenly was as bright as a mid summers day as a bolt of lightning sprang from the tip of Mithos' finger and struck Tamerak. The paladin dropped to his knees again, pain shooting all through his body from the lightning. Blood was dripping from the wounds on his face to the floor. Tamerak closed his eyes concentrating on his wounds. The gashes on his face began to heal. They stopped bleeding and closed up part of the way. The feeling in his sword arm returned. That was the last of his healing power for today, he hoped it would be enough. The battles through the tower and the fight with Mithos were taking their toll, he knew he couldn't take much more of this. Tamerak grabbed his sword and jumped up to his feet just in time to take another lightning bolt to the chest. He staggered back but stayed on his feet. Mithos admired the paladins resolve as he cast his next spell, a large disembodied hand that stood ten feet tall and just as wide appeared between Mithos and Tamerak blocking the paladin as he charged in. Tamerak skidded to a stop and swung his sword at the interposing hand scoring two quick strikes but appearing to do no real damage. Mithos took a few steps back so that he was beyond the paladins fallen companions. He cast a spell that animated their bodies turning them into zombies under his control. They slowly stood up and turned to Mithos. "No!" Tamerak screamed seeing his friend rise as undead. "I swear I will destroy you foul creature!" Mithos ignored the paladins taunts and commanded the zombies to attack the paladin.

[,]

The gloom of the hallway was strobe'd with brightness as a bolt of lightning joined from Mithros' outstretched finger to Tamarek's battered form. The Paladin dropped to their knees, pain wracking their body as the power surged through their frame, muscles contorting under the onslaught of power.

With labored breath Tamerak closed his eyes, pushing the aches and smells and such from his mind as he sought an inner place. The myriad cuts and contusions, which had been oozing blood, began to fade and close. The paladin felt strength return to their sword arm, though the effort of drawing upon their god's power left a certain emptiness within themselves.

*'The link with the fates is gone for the day'* The though came to Tamerak but was quickly replaced with *'May it be enough'*. Gripping his weapon firmly again the Paladin rose to his feet even as yet another bolt of arcing glare surged between the pair of combatants causing Tamerak to stagger backwards under the onslaught. Mithros had used the Paladin's moment of calm to continue working towards his own ends.

The wizard chuckled, seeming amazed at the Paladin['s resolve, even as he finished a second evocation and a great, faint glowing palm appeared in the corridor space between them. It manifested just in time to halt the Paladin's rush to come to grapple with their spell slinging foe. Tamerak cursed, knowing that the previous bolt of lightning had delayed him enough that the wizard could mount yet more defenses.

He swung mightily at the magical barrier, his sword hitting something twice though with no real measure of impact or resistance. Even as the Paladin flailed vainly at his magical barrier, Mithros took a few steps back, dragging the hem of their cloak away from their feet and the slumped forms strewn there. Barely bothering to note the Paladin's progress against their current spell Mothros began another invocation, this one causing the hair to rise upon the nape of Tamerak's neck even as distance and muffled as the words were by the distance and intervening arcane.

With the last motes of magic spent the bodies aout Mithros' feet began to stir. As the fallen frms of Tamerak's friends crawled slowly, as if in some sort of pain, to their feet and turned glassy eyes towards the Wizard.

"No!" Tamerak screamed upon seeing his friends begin to rise as undead.

"I swear! I will destroy you! You foul creature!" The Paladin yelled, their voice cracking with grief.

Mitrhos ignored the paladin's taunts, still focused upon the last moments of the spell as he commanded the newly risen zombies to attack the paladin.

Um...how's that? Hope it helps. :)

[NecroMaster]

Thanks, that does help and give me some new ideas as I write this. I have never written anything before and I have been having fun writing this.