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Every now and again something will happen and a GM will have a moment primed for comedy gold... Share your experience whether it happened to you or to someone else.
Mine looked like this:
We had with out a doubt the WORST spymaster ever in a party. Granted she was a first time player, but she pretty much outed herself 5 minutes into the game...Thats not the funny part though.
Our party with one exception was placed under a geas to love the city we were in and not want to leave. The city was ruled by a very High level Lich who was meant to be our big bad once we had a few more levels under our belts.
He invites us to dine in his palace. Our rogue who avoided the geas, snuck into the palace found our gear that was taken from us and proceeded to try and find us..
He did so and was nearly caught by our BBEG. He ducked out of the room as the BBEG walked back in. Spotted, the Lich gave chase. He was without qa doubt going to catch our friend so, our spy master in her great wisdom says, "I'm going to trip him." Player roll 20 confirmed with a 19.
The whole party looks at her, her boyfriend starts rolling a new char for her.
Player to Lich: "Oops. It was an accident." Bluff roll 10
Lich: Thats quite alright my dear these things happen" BBEG roll: 1
The table erupts into laughter.
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The GM had the Imp familiar of our power-hungry wizard betray our party to his infernal bosses in mid-quest. Thankfully, the rest of the party did not trust the diabolical midget one bit. The wizard did though and the look of hurt and disbelief on his face was priceless.
Consorting with a devil. What was he expecting anyway ?
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Our GM told us the first adventure would heavily feature undead, and we should prepare for that. So we ended up with a cleric of Pharasma (me), a smite-happy paladin (my boyfriend), and a bitter old ranger with Undead as his favored enemy (our friend).
We're in a graveyard, and the ranger scouts ahead and finds some zombies. He gets back to us, and tells us that he's going to go around the side, over the crumbling wall, and sneak up on them. Meanwhile, we sneak up on the gate, then the paladin will burst through on the ranger's signal, smite, and charge, while my cleric stands back to channel.
So the ranger goes around the side, and thanks to a ridiculously high Stealth modifier, manages to sneak around unseen. (Really, the GM rolling opposed perception checks for the zombies is just courtesy at this point.) The paladin rolls his stealth check, and gets a natural 1. With a -10 penalty for his armor and DEX.
GM looks down at the d20, looks at my boyfriend and says, "Okay. You, in your enthusiasm to smite some undead, have done this." He stands up and starts marching around the table, banging his chest and singing "EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIL, I'LL SMITE YOU!" to the tune of "Viva Las Vegas".
The upside was, it drew the zombies towards us, in a convenient range for my cleric to channel and destroy them. The downside was, we haven't let my boyfriend forget that, so each time he fails a stealth check, someone starts singing it.
A room larger domed chamber at the center of which was an open pit, 20 feet deep, 20 feet wide, 60 feet long.
On the wall nearby, hanging from hooks are fluffy pink ear muffs, fluorescent pink hair nets, speedo's, snorkles, and webbed flippers.
The party make their perceptions and see the image of a ghostly phased diamond suspended in the pit at the center point of all of its dimensions.
The quickly work out that they need to wear the "uniform" to become phased with the diamond and that the pit is actually a form of indoor swimming pool/giant bath.
"Oh, do go in. The water that appears might be shark infested and such a hulking pink fluffy barbarian will undoubtedly scare them away..."
It degenerated quite quickly after that.
The next hour was the party trying to persuade the big butch barbarian to "pink it up". I was laughing so much, my sides really did start to hurt *grin*.
And yes, the barbarian was played by the most testosterone laden butch man at the table, which didn't help matters one iota :D
Yes, we do have weird rooms occasionally, but we do have fun = a lot of fun with them :D
I'm the GM for our group and here's the situation.
One of the few good aligned people in a village, the orc barkeep is this one armed, disfigured by acid, one legged, one eyed, old, tongueless, pitiful creature who gets along by sign language.
The party sorcerer is asking for rumors around town and rolls a natural 1 and finds out apparently that the barkeep is the leader of a cult of an evil god. He tells the aasimir paladin in the group, they buff up like they are going into a dungeon. He walks in and drags this guy over the counter, through the room, out of the door, and into the street. He throws him down on the ground and casts Zone of Truth while the dwarf goes through all of his pockets, he resists and the oracle pops him with hold person. They realize he's mute and is just this poor old guy, and the paladin's player is banging his head on the table.
I felt bad for the player of the paladin, he had no idea. Of course now the player of the sorcerer starts busting out laughing. It was hilarious.
Okay in one of the very first games I ran, my party consisted of a cleric, sorcerer, fighter, and a magus. The magus couldn't show up so he was in the inn with a hangover. They are lvl 2 and in the city a woman comes up to them stating that her husband is trapped in the house fighting a goblin. The party accepts and the fighter goes off to tell the sheriff while the others follow the lady to her house.
Fighter arrives at the sheriff office pleading for him to come because there's a goblin in the town and one of the townsfolk is in trouble. The sheriff is all gunho and saying lets roll and asks where and who is in trouble.....the fighter didn't receive the name of anyone in the family because he ran out so fast and only got the dogs name. So he's there telling the sheriff that the ladys name is scruffy or something. Making him roll knowledge local, wisdom checks, etc and his dice is failing him big time like 1s and 3s lol.
The cleric and sorcer get to the house and find a half starved goblin. Before it started I decided to give the goblin a short sword and a potion of health because I knew the party was gonna steamroll right over him.....I couldn't have been more wrong in my life.
Sorcerer the first one to engage and trys to attack because of how sickly and starved it looks but misses, goblin crits on the sorcerer. Sorcer keeps fighting but keeps missing or to cast spells and getting aoo and is going down to very low hit points fast. Cleric comes up and casts a heal on the sorcerer and they both try to attack the goblin. Both missing and the cleric provokes an aoo and confirms and pulls the sick card (these cards are what the players asked me to huy and use for the game) so the cleric is throwing up and not being able to do anything and sorcerer getting beat on by this half starved lvl goblin.
Fighter finally rolls a natural 20 and runs to the house. He hears the commotion and runs upstairs to see this little half starved goblin whopping everyone's ass. He looms at the situation and decides to bullrush the goblin after saying out loud "eh, I got high enuf ac" to which he failed on the bull rush and the goblin confirmed the aoo and crits.
The decapitation card gets pulled. Fighter rolls a natural 1.
I tell the fighter he's got 2 choices. 1. The mighty hero warrior who scared off a mighty dragon gets beheaded by a half starved goblin that was hiding in someone's closet and ur famous last words written on ur tombstone is "eh, I got high enuf ac" or
2. You get ur throat slit but live but ur vocal cords are dmged beyound repair and ur literal last spoken words are "eh, I got high enuf ac".
Everyone's laughing even him and he's even in thought about it, thankfully he decided to keep the character because he rolled a natural 20 and confirmed so I let him do what his murderous rages go off on the goblin.
Was funny as hell and my players still talk a out it. Dice can be scary
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I'm the GM for our group and here's the situation.
One of the few good aligned people in a village, the orc barkeep is this one armed, disfigured by acid, one legged, one eyed, old, tongueless, pitiful creature who gets along by sign language.
The party sorcerer is asking for rumors around town and rolls a natural 1 and finds out apparently that the barkeep is the leader of a cult of an evil god. He tells the aasimir paladin in the group, they buff up like they are going into a dungeon. He walks in and drags this guy over the counter, through the room, out of the door, and into the street. He throws him down on the ground and casts Zone of Truth while the dwarf goes through all of his pockets, he resists and the oracle pops him with hold person. They realize he's mute and is just this poor old guy, and the paladin's player is banging his head on the table.
I felt bad for the player of the paladin, he had no idea. Of course now the player of the sorcerer starts busting out laughing. It was hilarious.
You're aware that by RAW the Paladin should fall for hurting an innocent, right ;-)
Oh its ok, a few sessions before that my player looked at me funny when I told him his sorcerer was being assassin death attacked while he was on the toilet.
This is after another instance where two players on watch got possessed by ghosts and started coup de gracing the whole party... maybe not so funny. I lolled.
Another one of my players is terrified everytime I say Rock, because he's lost two characters in the past year to them. I say a rock is swooping down on you and he says I go stand on a boulder and get my attack of opportunity. The rest of the players go and hide in crevases. *Snatch* At least they were kind enough to lightning bolt him so he didn't feel it when it threw him in a canyon.
Edit: Had to put one more. So a player saw a bear running up to him in the woods and it was friendly, so the gnome bard decided to jump on it and ride it while the rest of the party is finishing a fight. The bear runs off into the woods and gets captured by ogres. The gnome ends up as the teddybear/plaything of some twisted creepy ogres.
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One of my players loved the stereotypical "drunken dwarf" character, and wouldn't go anywhere without his beloved keg of dwarven ale. I've had so much fun with that thing. He lost it down a river (went swimming after it down the rapids), but found it later, whereby a group of pixies were fixated on it bobbing in the water, so the dwarf is chasing after this swarm of pixies to get his keg back.
A landshark swallowed it once. He dove in after it to get it back. It fell into a crevasse. "Bungee jumped" after it. Hurt himself, but he got it back. An evil mage mistook it for a valuable relic because he valued it so much. He used it as a "bowling ball" to knock down orcs.
Yeah, I've had some fun with that keg.
Dug, if evil mages know how much he values it then they should consider animating it.
Just a thought.