Has anyone built with the issue of making game sessions happen? Scheduling as the GM sucks.
Unfortunately, I don't really have anything constructive to add, other than to sympathize with your predicament :(
Obviously though, this is just another case to be made for why players should allow their GMs to take control of their schedules ;)
Okay, maybe one constructive thing - have you tried (even over email, if you can't get people together to chat) talking about it as a group to come up with a solution? If the majority of the group itself comes up with the new day, rather than you as GM listening to each person and making the decision, it could go across a lot better to whoever ends up unable to play.
Obviously you don't want Drew accusing you of playing favorites and choosing Rich over Mitch, when it sounds like weekdays could also be an alternative. Let the group decide as a whole which day is best, and therefore who can't play.
Turns out late-night posts with your phone can be filled with errors.
Talking it over as a group hasn't produced anything very useful- Rich doesn't want to tell Mitch directly that he wants to play on the day that Mitch can't play, he just keeps saying that he'll *play* Saturdays but doesn't play that often- whereas he told me he'd play every week if we did Sundays.
I really just want to run the damn game, and yes I'd love to run every week. I considered asking Mitch to leave, but that's a really dick move that I don't want to pull.
Don't necessarily ask him to leave, but you should have a talk with him. Share your concerns, and see if he is really dedicated to showing up or he just isn't being honest with himself and everyone else.
In the end, be open, honest, and have a good discussion about scheduling and people's interest in the game. It's always the best way.
What you're describing is essentially exactly what happened to my group a few years back (excepting your issue with one player not wanting to play with another).
Between work-scheduling, family-responsibilities, and random events (such as someone being ill for the week), even getting together once a month became next-to-impossible at times (and even when we did get together, the first hour or two would be spent trying to catch everyone up on what happened last time).
Unfortunately, we eventually decided to dismantle the group, as running an immersive campaign in that manner simply didn't work. I found my new avenue in PBP-gaming (play-by-post), which has worked wonders for my roleplaying. It could perhaps be a solution for you, too, although it obviously doesn't work in terms of keeping the group going.
You don't happen to live in the w. metro area of the Twin Cities, MN do you?
JK
Seriously though, I get what you're saying. I'd love to have a weekly game on a weeknight. My one buddy can make any weekday but weekends are tough; another player can make weekends easy but not weekdays. As for weekly, 2 of us are married with kids so any more than 2/month the families get mad.
If you're set on gaming in person, the best thing you can do is talk it out. Be honest, fair, and inclusive. Make it a conversation that brings everyone affected into the dialogue. This may end badly and that will suck, but at least it will resolve for everyone. However you must enter this conversation with one demand: some kind of resolution that everyone can live with.
If you can game online then use email and keep the game rolling w/out people there. Either NPC their character or take them out for the session. This can be accomplished by saying that PC is headed back to town, hiding in the shadows, paralyzed, turned to stone, Fascinated, etc.
Whatever you do, keep your players informed. They're your friends. The minute you exclude one for the ease of the other three, you've reverted to kindergarten games whether its at a gaming table, heading out to a party or just sitting around watching football.
I may be reading too much into this, but it sounds like you and your friends are making the transition from adolescence into adulthood.
Speaking as a gamer with 30+ years of experience: Adulthood is awesome, but it does make regular gaming harder.
From my own experience, I have found that, as gamers age, their real-life responsibilities take a larger and larger part of their schedules. Gaming necessarily takes a back seat.
Getting into a serious relationship (up to and including marriage) is a good example: When you and/or your gaming buddies start to pair off, you'll need to start coordinating with the spouses' schedules as well as your own. I've noticed that dual-gaming couples have a somewhat different set of challenges than couples where only one games. (I'm in the latter camp.) Fortunately, my wife approves of "nerd night," and considers my gaming hobby/obsession a benevolent insanity... and part of my charm.
Having kids further complicates things. Do you want to run a dark and gritty game with horror elements, graphic violence, and/or sexual situations? Maybe no so much when there's a seven-year-old running in and out of the gaming room. Plus, there are school concerts, open houses, sports games, and birthday parties that compete for time. And some kids are terrible about providing advance notice...When my kid was young, I can't tell you how many times I got less than 24 hours notice about something important that she and/or we all had to attend! I've had to bail at the last minute for that sort of thing.
And, of course, as you and your friends' carreers advance, that will put more stress on scheduling your games: Out-of-town conferences, work deadlines that necessitate some late nights, office parties, vacations, etc can all interfere with your regularly scheduled game night.
Ditto non-work real-world responsibilities: Maybe a memember of your gaming group got elected to the school board, or to town council, or as Vice President of the Rotary Club. Church events, family obligations, Army Reserve training weekends, and professional associations can all present scheduling difficulties.
And don't forget those homeowner emergencies: The water heater sprung a leak, or the kids next door hit a grand slam through your dining room window, or the toilet backed up badly, or you're getting your kitchen remodeled.
With my group (five people, ranging in age from early 30s through early 50s), we're lucky if we can meet twice a month!
We've resorted to Doodle polling and scheduling gaming on each others' Google calendars.
Welcome to adulthood! On the plus side, you can buy your own booze whenver you want and sleep with your spouse every night.
Fact: Life is busy and even if the players want to attend and you have a pre-planned game date, not everyone can make it.
If I were you, I would recruit until you have a total of 6-7 players. I would recruit friends/acquaintances (even if they haven't played RPGs before) and even tap into your local Pathfinder Society scene. Meetup. Local shops. Whatever.
The idea is to have enough players that at least 4-6 of you can get together consistently on game days.
To start I would do 3-6 months of PFS in order to:
1) To determine if these are players you want in your campaign.
2) To see if the players like your style of GMing or Pathfinder.
3) To determine how reliable the players are in attendance.
I would then ask everyone if they want to start a campaign.
This is what I did (although we played PFS for 2 years) and it's worked out really well.
Edit: It sounds like you've already found your solution. Some people like small gaming groups (1-4 players), my preference is to play consistently with a mid-sized group (4-7 players). To each his/her own!
Gaming schedule conflicts is a very unfortunate reality of life, especially for adults with families. I am in two games now and one was started as a weekly game, but we went two months without playing, the other is supposed to be a monthly game and we went three months without playing. This summer was a total bust due to me moving and one of the other players moving.
To try to deal with this we've instituted a couple of changes. One is that the "weekly" game is now a bi-weekly game but we meet regardless of how many people show up. Players who don't show up have the GM (me) run their character. That has helped, but it means that we sometimes play without players and they have to wonder how well I'm running their characters.
If we have too many players not able to meet, we will meet with as few as three players and play some other game. That reinforces the idea that we meet regularly and gives the people who couldn't play a reason to regret it, and that incentivizes them to make the next session.
Its life really, getting together with friends for anything becomes more difficult as we get more things in our life (as mentioned quite well by haladir). My group has recently sort of contracted because some people's schedules dont line up. Its not anyone's fault. But you should talk with everyone in your group to discuss your concerns about scheduling difficulties. But honestoy 2 nights a month is pretty good for a group of 5 adults, even if you wish you were able to play every week or every day. And you have to be willing to accept that sometimes things dont work out.
My group consists of a bunch of university students and shift workers. We have our scheduled game Thursday nights, and it always seems that one person would cancel at least every other week. So, we picked up a fifth player- this means we can play even if one person cancels (and the group understands that a single cancel won't affect the session). Two cancels or more, we decide if we still want to play, or just get together and hang out (to help people keep the Thursday sched).
I also have put my foot down, and tell everybody who joins my game that they will be expected to make 4/5 games. I understand people have lives, but everybody else is committing to this so you should too.
Make a schedule and stick to it.
As for having less active players... I also have a "no electronics" rule at the table. People get distracted too easily with a cell phone or computer. It's helped keep immersion up. If they prove they can have a device and not fiddle around on it then let them use it.
Yes I'm a bit of a nazi GM, but all these little things help to keep everybody showing up, and staying focused while playing.
It's a hard thing to get around... Most of my groups run all the time, regardless of who is absent. The sole exception being when the GM/more than half the players being absent. I've had some fun games when we were only 2 players. It doesnt work for "high-octane" campaigns, but it can work for some.
One of my GMs has a pretty iron rule: if you miss 3 games in a row, you're out.
5 players is my magic number. Its not too many and if one person bails we still play. Maybe pick up another player and I bet things will work out better.
@Mark Hoover - you from the Twin Cities homie?
Originally from Chi-town, now in the TCs. Just checking in, or looking for a game? If you're in the market, we've got one coming up IRL with open seats...
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We have 5 now, I can see why you'd like it- although I think 4 might be more optimal, 3 players isn't too bad (if everyone always attends)- 5 players can slow down combat a bit and gives each player a bit less spotlight.
Throw a few mooks in the players love cutting through them.
@Mark Hoover Just checking in at the moment I currently have a PF and Traveller game on alternating weekends. Good to see gamers from the TC online at Pizo though :)
Oy, can I relate!!! Chris Hardwick has likened a gaming group to being in a band: you have different commitment levels and personalities, the lead singer half the time doesn't show up for practice or didn't learn the lines (i.e. update his character sheet and/or prepare spells)... it is so easy for it to go awry!
I agree though with your sentiment that the friendships are much more important than the commitment. The game serves you, not the other way around!
Our gaming group consists of all 30-somethings, mostly married and/or parents, all traveling about an hour to our gaming location (mid way between MA and CT), and it has been very difficult for us to keep the game consistent.
My first game had 5 players, and our weekly game ended up being closer to monthly. I instituted a "2-out" cancellation policy, so if only one person couldn't make it the game still happened. This helped people prioritize the game nights more (knowing it wouldn't be cancelled if they couldn't make it), and usually the person who was out ended up Skyping in for the 2nd half once they were done w/ whatever priority caused the conflict (usually kids, which thankfully go to bed ;)
One other thing that helped was having a backup game. Most cancellations happened from the same 2 out of the 5 players, so I started running a different AP with the other 3 when we cancelled the main game. This caused a little more work on my part (I always needed to have that backup AP ready to go), but it helped keep the game night consistent for those who prioritized it more.
Lastly, we've had a bit of a turn recently, in that we've had more people interested in GMing. It's not ideal, but we now have 3 main APs running once a month each (with different players at each game, 9 separate schedules in all), and one backup AP we pull out when a session gets cancelled (and anyone from any of the games who is free can show up for it). The way we've managed this is to have the 3 GMs divvy up a month (one game per weekend, either Friday or Saturday), and email the entire group 2 months at a time w/ a proposed schedule. They all then comment on whether they can make it, and we adjust accordingly. We then log it in a Google Calendar that everyone can access to keep track of which weeks are which (and the GM usually emails a reminder to their players on the preceding Monday). Because everyone sees how many people are involved (and since we set the schedule 2 months in advance, giving plenty of lead time), most people now prioritize those game nights, and shuffle other commitments around instead. It sounds crazy, but we've been doing this for over a year now and we've rarely had to cancel a game!