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my question boils down to two specific situational questions:
can two air elementals share the same square?
can an elf and an air elemental share the same square?
No and no.
Air elementals, while it makes some sense they wouldn't, still are considered by game mechanics to occupy the same number of squares as any other creature of their size.

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my question boils down to two specific situational questions:
can two air elementals share the same square?
Usually no. Air elementals are NOT incorporeal or insubstantial. They take up a space just like any other creature. Subject to the normal size difference rules which you are familiar with. (I assume you mean per the book/PFS. In a home game you can rule it however you like.)
can an elf and an air elemental share the same square?
Not unless the elemental is at least Huge.
An exception to this is if the elemental is in whirlwind form. In this form it actually picks up other creatures and objects and - assuming they are at least one size category smaller than the elemental - are "picked up bodily and held suspended in the powerful winds."
-Flagged for movement to rules forum.