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A rugged looking gnome stands atop a leather-clad wolverine, itself perched atop a small crate, on a street corner near the Ascendant Court. Draped across his shoulders but beneath his dark olive hair is a black and brown ferret. Around his neck dangles a hand-carved compass rose composed of various animals. He adamantly preaches to the passing crowds, using his longspear to steady himself atop his shaky tower.
"It is time for us all to venture from our comfortable cities and live in harmony with nature once again! The beasts of the wild are not monsters, but allies of good! Don't let the demonic lies of the Mother of Madness fool you! Her usurpation of His power is incomplete..."
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A pretty but heavily scarred young woman with light blue skin approaches the small gathering. Under her black and red robes, she is encased in gleaming mithral armor heavily ornamented with horns, spikes, and other devilish motifs. An iron holy symbol of Iomedae hangs at her waist alongside a gold-plated dragon's tooth.
"Sir Gnome, I feel you may be unfortunately misinformed about your deity. I am pleased that you seek to retake the wild though! It is most noble to strike down the brigands and savages that seek refuge in the wilds and strike at good, civilized folk. Fight for order and righteousness! Cull the chaos that lurks outside the bounds of settled lands!"
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The gnome beams at the passers-by who have stopped to listen. Clearly he was not expecting anyone to take him seriously in so crowded a venue.
"Aha! A brother of the faith!" he replies to the halfling, "Mother Moon has cared for the Beast Master these past millenia, and for that, I give her praise! But it is time for Curchanus to regain his standing in the cosmos as Lord of the Animals!"
"I am Osbjörne, of the North, Lady Hellknight" he replies with a shaky and slightly exaggerated bow that nearly topples his wolverine from atop the crate. After a panicked moment of rebalancing, followed by a quick back and forth grumble-growl between the cranky mammal and the gnome, Osbjörne raises his head defiantly.
"And were I misinformed I would not be standing here today!"
"On my very first mission for the Pathfinder Society, I traveled to a dwarven ruin in the Aspodell Mountains. There, my comrades and I scattered a horrible derro cult led by an elf tainted by the foul powers of the nightmarish demon queen, Lamashtu herself! Despite wearing no more physical protection than this very armor, Ow!" he pounds his chest, accidentally jamming his hand on one of the many thorns studding the vines wrapped around the rough leather chestplate. Osbjörne licks the wound briefly, then continues.
"I engaged the abomination in single combat, frustrated her evil magic, and took the brunt of her anger, yet she was unable to land a single blow! I distracted her for nearly half a minute, before the others had finished with her minions and could assist in putting her down."
"Now tell me, Agent of the Inheritor, do you believe the Wanderer may yet live?"
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"I applaud your good deeds, Osbjörne of the North, but where is the further evidence of his return? I hesitate to presume to know the will of the gods, but I find it unusual that the return of a dead god would not be heralded with more fanfare. Would he not make himself known to the clergy of She who inherited his own goodly domains? Perhaps, my friend, it was the Lady of Luck who was smiling upon you that day."
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The gnome grabs the ferret lounging around his shoulders and presents him with outstretched arms.
*
"The Prophet of the Beastmaster! He was tasked with spreading the news of the god's return, but could not communicate with most humanoids." Slowly, the gnome draws the ferret back to his body. It quickly returns to his shoulders, chittering and dooking into his large ears. Osbjörne nods solemnly before continuing.
"I am but a humble mouthpiece of this great messenger, a direct decendant of two of Curchanus' heralds, Kodo and Podo."
"His miracles will be small at first, but as more believe in his return, his influence will be felt across the face of Golarion!"
*(NAK-iyan)
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"YES! YES!" the gnome shouts after the Hellknight, leaning precariously atop the wolverine, "Spread the word of Curchanus' return!"
His satisfied grin turns back to his audience.
"The walking dead disrupt the natural order of things. Faithful of Curchanus do not go into the crypts and graveyards looking for undead to vanquish, but will not hesitate to destroy one loose in the wild. Against evil, young man, you will find no stauncher ally! Curchanus taught the stars to look upon us kindly; to send us pleasant dreams..."
He trails off as the two ferrets engage in their conversation.
"Am I ok? Should I not be? I have been tasked with marvelous purpose! Who wants to know, not-ferret?"
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Oh ahh just making sure the gnome was.. ahm.. acurately conveying your message and not, you know, whirling you around by the tail or something like they do sometimes because they think its fun.
So.. your great great great great great grandpappy knew Curchanus ? What makes you think Curchanus is back?
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"Whirl you by your tai-... Wha- I never... What sort of furless do you hang around? Honestly!
When I was a kit, my father told stories passed down in my family as far back as anyone can remember, tales of Curchanus' bravery, heroism, and selflessness. Of Lamashtu's trap for Desna, and Curchanus' sacrifice to protect her. And signs to look for upon his return."
He stiffens slightly as he recites, echoed by the gnome he's perched on.
"When the white frost is slain by ravens black,then you know Curchanus is back!"
"Näkijän sought me out after a hawk, Shaukka, herself a descendent of another of Curchanus' Heralds, witnessed this very event happening southeast of Trollheim, in the Land of the Linnorm Kings."
"Don't you see?" His voice begins to rise with excitement again. "The light is returning to dispel the darkest reaches of the wilds! Harmony with nature, lost so long ago by the majority of twolegs, is attainable again!" His eyes flashing, he resumes shouting at the passing crowd.
"HAIL CURCHANUS! THE BEASTMASTER HAS RETURNED!!"
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First you see the bright yellow fez, beneath the Fez another read headed gnome dressed in bright yellow robes trimmed in a red flame motif and sporting goggles the gnome has a bandoleer of little vials, and various gourds and pockets beakers and paraphernalia, is busy haggling with one of the merchants for some quick silver. After haggling, where you can hear the gnome and the merchant going back and forth... this isn't a deal its a joke... twice nothing is still nothing... your starving my children...your a thief I can get a better price on quicksilver from the Qadiran Mustafa I'm leaving...No wait wait I’m sure we can come to a better price.... and the gnome and the merchant quickly come to an agreed upon price, and the gnome pops the flask of quick silver in his pack.
Noticing the other gnome perched on a crate, this brightly dressed gnome makes his way over to the street corner. Both gnomes, one on his box, and the other with his Fez, come out to about equal height. With a big grin, the brightly colored gnome extends his hand " Greetings and Salutations I am Fizzabang the Fabulous some time pathfinder, some time merchant, some time alchemist, some time Chirurgeon, and full time explorer. I'm always looking for some new experience bit of information etc. Who is this Crunchanus? I haven't heard of him before.
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She raises an eyebrow, and gives a bit of a nod. "Desna is a good goddess. Anyone helping her establish her purview should be alright in most any book." Bree-Bran looks over the pair of gnomes again.
"My own path does not bring me a steed as a boon companion, to ride into the fray against evil. No, I train to take on the World-Wound, far to the north. An area that was once natural and wild, but now suffers from the incursion that beset it. Once I am fit for such an undertaking, I expect I will be searching out allies with a similar mind, and I hear rumors that the Society itself might be interested."
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When Fizzabang can find a break in Osbjorn's conversation, he says "My apologies my good Osbjorn, I think i have had to dodge a few too many explosive fiery bombs, either those i have dropped at my own feet, or those Alchemsit goblins have thrown in my direction. It's hard on the hearing. So it isn't Chrunchamus but Curchanus. Well I must say he certainly sounds like a very busy God. You mentioned that he lives and that he is back. Does this mean that he was dead?"
"I am certainly glad he brought down Desna from the Celestial realms. The world would be a much more duller place without her "
To Bree Bran
"If the Pathfinder Society calls me to help mission in the World Wound, i will of course go and help as best I can. At the moment I plan to set up shop in Manaket, the capitol of Rahadoum. Rahadoum has foolishly chosen the path of Atheism and turned away from the Gods. I have just about finished my research into a new extract that will restore life to the recently slain. It will function like a Breath of Life spell a cleric would cast. Without any legally practicing clerics, able to neutralize poisons, remove diseases, blindness, deafness, and curses, well that should be an excellent place for me to set up my chirgeon practice."
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To Bree Bran"If the Pathfinder Society calls me to help mission in the World Wound, i will of course go and help as best I can. At the moment I plan to set up shop in Manaket, the capitol of Rahadoum. Rahadoum has foolishly chosen the path of Atheism and turned away from the Gods. I have just about finished my research into a new extract that will restore life to the recently slain. It will function like a Breath of Life spell a cleric would cast. Without any legally practicing clerics, able to neutralize poisons, remove diseases, blindness, deafness, and curses, well that should be an excellent place for me to set up my chirgeon practice."
The paladin nods slowly. "Even atheists need help with difficulties of the world. I know almost nothing of Rahadoum, but perchance I should research it while here in Absalom. I do know that healers are welcome most anywhere they go."
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Fiaaabang replies: True Bree Bran healers are most welcome everywhere. I have been to Rhadoum on pathfinder bussiness in the past. I can tell you that Rhadom follows the Laws of Man. Their first law is that none in Rhadoum shall bow down and worship a god. To this end they have a specially trained corps called the Pure Legion. who are trained to root out believers and kill them. We had to tangle with them while on Pathfinder business. They were not pleasant. They kill clerics and anyone who has a connection with the divine. ie: paladins, oracles, clerics, rangers, inquisitors, the list goes on.
Bree Bran, you may wish to consult the Grey Cloaks the guard of the Ascendent Court. They are composed of atheists, often Rhadoumi.
Bre Bran, your gifts may be better employed in Mendev, where they are in sore need of help, and there you would be lauded as a hero. people will want you around, unlike Rhadom.
Anyways good luck, i need to get back to my experiments. "