Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers


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Alright this game has some "interesting" people in it but my players have decided to stop for the night and some "exotic" entertainment decided to help them out with the horrors of going through this world alone... at least for the night.... but these people werent the normal type of "entertainment" they were Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers....
Thoughts?
-Count Coltello


Well on the idea of pudding filled waffle hookers is that if you want them then it must be in a bed full of jell. the pudding will come out of the hooker as you go.


Now you see my good sir, the question is what kind of jello would the bed be made out of
-The Count


well chocolate would be just unnverving. and tapioca would feal weird. vanila is boring. so i would go will hmmmm....dragon bile with a touch of ooze acid to give it some zing.


Ah but you forgot the Troll Bogies sir.
-The Count


well i did think about it but they are to hard to come by this day and age. I mean how would i find a troll who will let me take their bogies and make pudding jello out of them?


Well now as to your inquiry i have a sister about two decades old that is dating a troll. he often procures quiet a bit of the Green Goo in question i would be more than willing to sell you some for a decent price.
-The Count


No No No, i would not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am. Seriously tho no ty.


I just thought that i would offer my Fellow Adventurer some green eggs and ham off the body of a naked pudding filled waffle hooker laying on a Dragon bile jello bed.. is that so wrong sir?
-The Count


No there is nothing wrong there just that i am unamused by this far of a discustion into pudding filled wafle hookers on a bed of dragon bile jello. it has just made me hmmm whats the proper way of saying this "losing faith in man" nono thats to small "Losing faith in sentient life forms" more fits this current topic

Shadow Lodge

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I knew I would regret clicking this thread.


then why did you click it?


Ha How could you not think you would regret clicking on a Thread that is named "Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers"?
and @Hallet Maybe im not a "sentient life form" maybe im just a figment of your imagination?

next buisiness of topic ... Tentacles!

-The Count

Grand Lodge

Masochism.


MAGICAL PINK TENTACLE VOID!!!!!!


mmmm... syrup.

How many calories are these Waffle Hookers?

And before you say with outrage "You're going to eat a Waffle Hooker?!" I would point out there is no WrongBadFun way to enjoy a Waffle Hooker.


To be continued my good people. the wonderous lure of food and waffle hookers are calling me
-The Count


1 person marked this as a favorite.
TOZ wrote:
I knew I would regret clicking this thread.

My only regret is that it has failed to live up to my expectations. They were so high.


Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers better known as P.F.W.H consist of 1586 servings of waffles, their pudding filling is 560 servings, the bed would be over 3000 for the bed, about 1110718 Calories in total so a heart attack in a hooker. Thats assuming that she dosnt kill you for trying to eat her.


Alright all you people that still clicking on the Waffle Hooker Thread. It is officially Story time.. Todays story includes Notte Nightbringer, Roccia Rockshaper, and Tuono ThunderCaller. Earlier in the story these three set out on their adventure to the distant land of Eryda the decide to stop for the night in a near by town of Becipa the seaport. when they get there they hear about a bounty put out on a famous pirate named Pirata the SeaDog so they go onto the Pirates ship (not thinking of course) all of a sudden the ship takes off and heads toward the continent of Dewca the three adventurers manage to kill the captain, shortly following the ship crashing into the Pendow island. which looks uninhabited so they look around to realize that it was chalk full of Waffle buildings (shhh dont guess yet you will ruin the suprise) so they go into the Belgian waffle town hall and sees a bunch of Beds that look to be made of some kind of Jello (i said dont guess yet!!) they notice some more waffles on the bed so they walk over there and see about 6 Naked Waffle Hookers!! they decide to have a wild night of passion and in the morning they wake up in a sticky mess of Chocolate pudding, and waffle hookers. they get hungry so the waffle hookers offer to let them eat part of them (the hookers grow any part eaten back again).....

i will leave the story here for now. Hallet care to take over from here
-The Count


*Count Coltello is Notte Nightbringer, Hallet is Tuono ThunderCaller, And Mysterious Stranger who shall be named in a little will play roccia Rockshaper*

"Hello Tuono here its my turn in the story"

As the waffle hookers are offering part of themselves to us my first thought is why I am covered in chocolate pudding and decide that its better to not question what I dont wana know. Deciding that taking a bite out of these hookers would be bad for my health not knowing ware they came from i attemt to find a place to clean myself off.


*roccia rockshaper here*
ripes one of waffle hookers arms off and beats Tuono withit


When im looking for the shower of bathroom a random waffle arm is smacking me. Getting pissed off my hair starts to stand on end and sparks fly off myself. Turning around to see who it is i attempt to shock who is attacking me. The most i get is the waffle arm starts to toast cause it is roccia smacking me. The only course of acction i can take in this situation is to TACKLE HER!!!!!!


*Yay its my turn Count back here now*
as i watch Tuono and Roccia play around i take a big bite of the waffle hooker to my right i dip the waffle that I bit out of in the chocolate pudding that is all over me "mmmm yummy! Tuono Roccia stop playing around we have to figure out how to get off this island now" i call out to them sometimes i feel sorry for Tuono because he is the only male in our little party. i go over to them and throw my arms around both of them, and lead them outside where it is almost to bright for me to handle. i summon all the energy i have and all of a sudden the bright sunlight dissapears and all around us is practically nighttime.


"Tuono Time!!!!!"

Not wanting to run around outside because im still covered in what im just gana assume is chocolate. The Bright light dosnt bother me as much as Notte, i mean come on i am around bright techno collored lightning all the time but moving on. I try to take our party to the docks so i can jump in the water an clean off at the same time i want FISH nice and roasted fish with the taste of salt all over them *drools*. While spacing out being draged threw town i almost miss how everything smells like fresh waffles. This normaly would make my mouth water but the waffle hookers have destroyed that....for now..... The closer to the docks we get everything starts to smell sickly sweet i start to panick because i cant see the normal blue of the ocean. The closer and closer we get the stronger the smell gets. Mapple starts to fill my nostrels...dread is the only thing i feal right now.


*well not to sure where Reignaofheart (Roccia Rockshaper) is at the moment so im back now... the one the only NOTTEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

As Tuono pulls us toward the docks I pull away from him for a second and run to the fish market that they had there my nose full of he battling scents of Fish, Waffles and Maple. (not a pleasant combonation) I get to the fish place as Tuono is practically near the docks with Roccia. I buy about a dozen fish since Tuono will eat about 8 of them by his self. i take off after them as quick as i can. i dont realize they stop , i am running looking at the fish and i plow into them sending them and me and all our yummy fish into the ocean of Maple syrup. "Nooo!! my fish!" I Scream loudly as we fall. "why did you stop!" i shout angrily at Tuono" we are all laying on our backs in the sticky stinky stuff that i hate so much the fish are about 5 feet from us and they dissapear sinking into the deep dark brown stuff. we start to sink as well i let out another scream in fury and i hit Tuono a couple times.


"Hmmmmm so Roccia is missing in action TIME TO SAVE THE DAY"

Notte bumps into myself and Roccia not realizing we had stoped and like the dumb blond like she should be , unfortinatily for this joke she has black hair, bumped into us pushing the 3 of us and something that smells GREAT.....i see one right in front of my face as I hit the syrup a fffiiiiissssshhhhh. Instandly my mouth starts to water again but this time i dont space out, the fish is right in front of me, causing me to spark uncontrolably. This has an unfortunate effect when sinking in maple syrup.....it starts to heat it up 1) makeing us sink even faster 2) becoming realy hot 3) and last but not least I cant swim. Trying to get some forward momentum I try to walk...scratch that Run forward...but im kinda sinking in a maple syrup hell. I can tast its canadian filth on my toung as it invades my mouth and lungs trying to sufocate me, and Covering my eyes in somthing so think I cant open them.Sinking into darkness I only have one regret , I dint get my FISH!!!!!!


*hey roccia is back *bout damn time Notte and Tuono are shouting**

1 shift the earth out to use and pull myself out


So, I clicked on the thread hoping to discern how the thread title should be parsed, but have nothing yet...

are these hookers who accept payment in pudding-filled waffles? ... are these animate pudding-filled waffles who have ranks in profession (hooker)? ... are these hookers who work out of an establishment named "Pudding Filled Waffles" (with a custard yellow sign) ... are these some sort of new ooze monsters who consume and inhabit hookers, causing them some sort of odd skin change (and natural armor bonus) that appears in a waffle pattern?

... please advise

-TimD


*That was exciting....*

When Roccia shifts the earth from the edge out so she can pull herself out it smacks me and Tuono in the face causing us to sink alot faster than we were. i manage to muster up enough of my shadow energy to make a couple shadow tenticles to pull us out of the Maple syrup, we look around to realize that we were in a pool a 8ft pool of maple syrup. we see a big Wafflian person Running toward us, "Hey get out of my pool you little rascals" the Wafflian had whip cream for hair and a big moustache he has a blueberry looking outfit around him. "im sorry sir we fell into your big pool on accident" i appologize, "we should tackle him and eat him" i whisper to Tuono "im hungry!!" as the mayor comes closer i look at my fishies in the pool of syrup once more with a pained look on my face. "hey i know you. yall are the ones that killed the Famous pirate lord Pirata!!!" yes we all shout in unison.


TimD wrote:

So, I clicked on the thread hoping to discern how the thread title should be parsed, but have nothing yet...

are these hookers who accept payment in pudding-filled waffles? ... are these animate pudding-filled waffles who have ranks in profession (hooker)? ... are these hookers who work out of an establishment named "Pudding Filled Waffles" (with a custard yellow sign) ... are these some sort of new ooze monsters who consume and inhabit hookers, causing them some sort of odd skin change (and natural armor bonus) that appears in a waffle pattern?

... please advise

-TimD

i can understand where you will be having some issues Deciphering how the Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers would be Portrayed these are Waffle Humanoids they are basically women (and men) made out of waffles as for the chocolate pudding... it replaces ALL body fluids (blood spit...... other fluids...) i didnt come up with this concept these are a strange being that i found along my travels in the outskirts of Italy. keep in mind these mystical beings are found else where but only the Italian Pudding-Waffle hookers are Worth Finding hope it helps my friend

-Count Coltello


Count Coltello wrote:

but only the Italian Pudding-Waffle hookers are Worth Finding

-Count Coltello

Here, now! Let us not be so unchivalrous as to so lightly dismiss the English Muffin, the French Tart, the Danish Pastry...


Getting anoyed with being constantly sticky on this little island so i call up some Strobing lightning melting all the sticky stuff off myself. This Wafflian accualy looks good when i think about what Notte whispers as "he?" aproches. Whispering back i clame that his hair is mine. Roccia elbows me in the side telling us to not eat anyone. With my stomach growling i rub it hoping to sooth the hunger pains. Just remembering who this pirate we killed was i am confused on why it matters. Not careing what he says i go over to the pool and try to find the fish i had saw.


Thornborn wrote:
Count Coltello wrote:

but only the Italian Pudding-Waffle hookers are Worth Finding

-Count Coltello
Here, now! Let us not be so unchivalrous as to so lightly dismiss the English Muffin, the French Tart, the Danish Pastry...

What about jelly filled doughnuts, bamiyeh, and shuāngbāotāi. Arnt These things just as delectable.


kicks Tuono into the syrup "look harder" runs around look for the way back to the waffle hookers thinking of the slaughter to come "hmmmmmmmmm"


Thornborn wrote:
Count Coltello wrote:

but only the Italian Pudding-Waffle hookers are Worth Finding

-Count Coltello
Here, now! Let us not be so unchivalrous as to so lightly dismiss the English Muffin, the French Tart, the Danish Pastry...

well my good sir what i had meant was simply that the Italian Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers are simply better than the Pudding filled Waffle Hookers from other areas of the world. and as for the "Dismissal" of the English Muffin, the French Tart, the Danish Pastry i couldnt possible forget those so easily they just have not come up until this moment.

-The Count Coltello


Mi sfugge il significato di tutto ciò !!!!!!!!!
I miss the meaning in all of this!!!!!!!!


*now i know people are probably wondering what will happen next? Will Roccia the rock shaper be able to kill all the Wafflian Hookers? Will Tuono ThunderCaller be able to find his precious Fish that he loves? Will Notte Nightbringer Find Food, or will she resort to eating the mayor? Will Tuono ThunderCaller get out to the sticky pool he hates so much? Tune in Later to Find Out*

*We want to Bid you Arrivederci,adieu, au revoir, ave, bon voyage, congé, farewell, Godspeed, And Goodbye My Wonderful peoples*


Gandal wrote:

Mi sfugge il significato di tutto ciò !!!!!!!!!

I miss the meaning in all of this!!!!!!!!

The Meaning of this is we wish to educate everyone on the wonderousness of Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers. and then we decided to have a little fun and make a story out of it. of which we are now done with for the day. me (count coltello) who is Notte Nightbringer, Hallet who is Tuono ThunderCaller, and Reignaofheart who is Roccia RockShaper. will continue our story of nothingness later. have a wonderful day sir and take care!! dont have to much fun with the Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers!

-The Count Coltello


.........somebody's sister likes trolls?........


I want to add a new char: Giorno Soleggiato Sunrise! Up to you her class/levels.

edit:it is snowing heavily in Italy ,F**K i hate snow.


SILENCIO!


The thread title made me hungry. I clicked and then I was disappointed.


Hey Touno here Gandal if you wana jump in go right ahead me and Notte check back semi reguraly Roccia on the other hand is being a bad sport. We are planing some new adventures so come on in.


Sorry,spiacente, i already have too many online commitments.
I didn't think this were going to be a real play by forum.


Ralph Pootawn wrote:
.........somebody's sister likes trolls?........

Yup Yup only sure fire easy way to get Troll Bogies!

-The Count


Gandal wrote:

I want to add a new char: Giorno Soleggiato Sunrise! Up to you her class/levels.

edit:it is snowing heavily in Italy ,F**K i hate snow.

its just a storry to pass the time, if you wanna swing by and drop a couple lines in feel free too and i love the snow its awesome. but then again i got all this fur... anywell thats all for now

by the way love the name Giorno.
-The Count


Showtime at the Apollo wrote:
SILENCIO!

But but LOUD NOISES!!!!! YOU CAN NOT SILENCE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just saying
-Count Coltello


Freehold DM wrote:
The thread title made me hungry. I clicked and then I was disappointed.

and Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers make me hungry all the time thats why you have to eat them (they grow back in some cases)

How when clicking on a Thread about PFWH (Pudding Filled Waffle Hookers) can you not be disapointed?

-The Count Coltello

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