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Please provide feedback on this magic item I created for my Pathfinder homebrew campaign. I realize this is not the RPG Superstar competition, but I require the same type of feedback, since I am trying to improve my item creation documentation skills. Please check over the stats to see if everything makes sense - maybe I'm doing okay?
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Grovestone Amulet
Aura strong universal, faint transmutation; CL 17th Slot neck;
Weight 1 lb; Price 15,000 gp
DESCRIPTION This silver disk etched with symbols of protection or vigilant animals contains an ancient grovestone fragment that dissipates upon wearing the amulet for the first time. Upon first donning and wearing the Grovestone Amulet for 24 hours, the wearer receieves a permanent +1 inherent bonus to intelligence after which the amulet need not be worn. However, thereafter it also provides a +1 natural armor bonus to the wearer when worn openly.
CONSTRUCTION Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, barkskin, miracle or wish; Cost 14,700 gp
This costs (way!) less than a +1 book (27,500 GP), requires a 1/6th less time to activate, and on top of that it becomes a regular AoNA afterwards (2000 GP). Way too broken.
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@ Motionmatrix - explain the concept of "broken" as you mean it? I wish to understand. In this scenario the PC is promised this item in return for rare reagents needed by an organization. The PC is now almost 6th level. I agree the cost is about halved, and the activation time is reduced, but I am curious why a GM wouldn't be okay setting his own price values for items. In my campaigns "selling items" typically results in 50% reduction of market price. This item, for it's obvious value would not be reduced, so I reduced its price, assuming the owner could get full value in spirit (but still receive only a half share).
When making magic items, say for example, RPG Superstar, or any publication, should we follow the expected market price standards? And if we are making items for home campaigns (based on the context provided above) does it still mean its "broken"?
I open welcome more understanding on this. Much appreciated.
-Pax
You asked for criticism, I use the corebook as my basis for said criticism.
You made an item, which other than my previous statement, is fine.
If you wish to change your market value that is fine, but I can't judge based on that.
It is broken because if I, as a pc, found that amulet for that price anywhere, I would automatically buy it, every time. In fact, any pc would buy it and sell it back to the party wizard or rogue, hell, to anyone with an odd Int, any character could use an extra skill point. Very cheap for what it does. And has a resale value of at least 1000gp afterwards at 50% book cost of AoNA, which is what it turns into.
A permanent boost to an attribute is powerful. You are welcome to price it lower, but don't fool yourself into believing it is balanced in order to give it to your (lower level) players. When compared to other items in the corebook that do the same thing, it is very underpriced.
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@ Motionmatrix - That's very helpful. So with the adjustment of price, it would be cost prohibitive to buy (if such an item were available for purchase). Thus the "breaking part" is the imbalance of power based on its market value. Got it. Thanks for all your help.
Additionally, I should relook at activation time (based on your feedback above).
Finally, the construction, wgt, and CL all seem on par so that's a good sign that its not horribly written-up. The multiple schools of magic seem plausable for what it does.
Thanks for all the feedback - anyone else feel free to add more criticism on this one if you catch anything we missed.
Well first off + to a stat that +2, +4, +6 in item that are worn. Not +1 It should be a enchament Bonus. That cost 4k, 16k, and 32K.
Then you want + 1 to Naturel Armor with Cost 2k. in the Both be in the same item slot so add 50% to the scond power. So 1k. So for +2 int and +1 natural Armor in the same slot it 7k gp.
The headband grants the wearer an enhancement bonus to two mental ability scores (Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma) of +2, +4, or +6. Treat this as a temporary ability bonus for the first 24 hours the headband is worn. These bonuses are chosen when the headband is created and cannot be changed. If the headband grants a bonus to Intelligence, it also grants skill ranks as a Headband of vast intelligence.
This heavy book contains instruction on improving memory and logic, but entwined within the words is a powerful magical effect. If anyone reads this book, which takes a total of 48 hours over a minimum of 6 days, she gains an inherent bonus from +1 to +5 (depending on the type of tome) to her Intelligence score. Once the book is read, the magic disappears from the pages and it becomes a normal book.
As written yours could be worn 24 by the Wizard he would get +1 int, then hand it off Witch to get +1 int then to the Witch Familair to give it +1 int and leave it on them and then they would get +1 natural armor as well for 15k. Bottom +1 it Int that can be daisy chained around the party or the world for that matter or only 15k and the set up time is only 24 hour passive vs tome which is 6 days actively reading for 48 hours.
Lastly cost if it cost 14.7k gp to build then market price should be 29.4k gp not 15k. The cost only realy matter if you plane on this being made agian. But since it can be passed around the world why should it
Wait, maybe I'm getting something mixed up here, but where are you guys getting that this thing can get passed around to give everyone a free +1 INT?
It says in the first line of the item: "contains an ancient grovestone fragment that dissipates upon wearing the amulet for the first time".
While I can't speak for the OP and I don't know anything about the campaign he's running, to me that says that the magic to boost your INT score is one-time-use only, after which it becomes a plain old Amulet of Natural Armor that only works for the person who first wore it.
Plus, the item is a quest reward, so who gives a care what it "costs". No one is gonna be paying for it and I doubt whoever gets it is gonna sell it (why would you, when you could just upgrade it to a full +5 AoNA).
It does not specify that the Amulet of Natural Armor effect only works for the original wearer, only that it must be worn openly for the Natural Armor bonus to work.
As written, I can see someone misunderstanding the charge thing, but I find it unlikely. I assumed it was a one time charge for the Int bonus.
He asked for a critique, that is what I gave him. If the OP did not want the cost to be part of what we consider, then he would not price it at all.
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Exactly, I do welcome the critique, and while it may not matter what the cost is in this campaign, I DO want to get better at crafting the full stats on newly created magic items - so all feedback is important.
To clarify, the natural armor bonus may be conferred to anyone who wears it, but the +1 INT is a one-time use i.e. the grovestone dissipates.
I like this particular item because of the dual feature.
Again, I don't forsee anyone crafting this again, and yet, if you'll excuse the paradox, I still want to know that the stats are up-to-par.
Changes: I've updated the price and cost. I updated the description to be clearer that the +1 INT was one time use, while the natural armor bonus last forever and for any wearer whether the original wearer or anyone else (if the item is transferred to another PC for example.)
I also tried to keep the description brief. Let me know if this helps.
Grovestone Amulet
Aura strong universal, faint transmutation; CL 17th Slot neck;
Weight 1 lb; Price 29,400 gp
DESCRIPTION This silver disk etched with symbols of protection or vigilant animals contains an ancient grovestone fragment that dissipates upon wearing the amulet for the first time. Upon first donning and wearing the Grovestone Amulet for 24 hours, the wearer receieves a permanent +1 inherent bonus to intelligence after which the amulet need not be worn as the amulet's grovestone is used up. Thereafter, however, it continues to provide a +1 natural armor bonus to any wearer when worn openly.
CONSTRUCTION Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, barkskin, miracle or wish; Cost 14,700 gp
I didn't go over the math, so you may have done this already. Just double check that you priced it on one magic item gaining a new ability (as per Tom S 820 post). Give a discount (probably no more than 5%) for the amulet needing to be worn openly. Add a charge (no less than 10%) for how fast the +1 Int bonus takes effect.