A GM's Plight: my players / characters can't seem to get along

[Alex Head]

I've seen some good advice on these threads, so lets see what you guys have for this:

I'm running a campaign and for the most part my players seem to think I'm doing a good job, which is awesome. Things are pretty good for the most part, but there is one major problem:

Two of my players can't seem to get along. Now, they aren't at each other's throats, but they have a really hard time not taking their arguments out-of-character.

an example: We'll call the characters Steve, Hank, and Mitch. Steve and Hank are brothers while Mitch is... not. Anyway. Steve likes playing a character with flaws and does it pretty well - His character is believable, if a bit goofy sometimes, and is a joy to roleplay across from (as a GM). Hank, on the other hand, comes from a background where character development is less important to the game, which isn't a strike against him by itself.

What the problem seems to be is that these two players argue incessently because Hank (the old power-player) and Steve (The new character-builder) can't seem to mesh. When one makes a decision, the other attacks them OOC for it. When one succeeds they gloat and use it as justification for more personal attacks later.

I've made a point of telling both of them that if they can't get their stuff together that the game is over and we'll try again in a few months. I'm not thrilled at that prospect - we've all put a lot of time and effort into the campaign so far, but I see no other way to make okay.

I like both players a lot. One's my roommate and the other's one of my best friends, and most of the time they get along okay-ish, but their experiences at the table are coloring more and more of their interactions.

I'm hesistant to punish them in-character for their bickering because I don't want to use meta-stuff as an excuse to TPK, but at this point i'll try just about anything.

ideas?

[Lincoln Hills]

Hm! That's a dilly of a pickle!

I think my foremost advice would be to approach each one when the other's not around and ask him, as a favor, to try to get along a bit better with the other. Tell them you can't think of a solution and put it on their shoulders to try to save the game. Just because you're the GM doesn't mean you're the U.N. or a babysitter.

Secondly, you might re-introduce the old 1e concept of a 'party leader' simply so they can alternate - following 'Steve's' lead one session and 'Hank's' suggestions the next. Better yet, put 'Mitch' in the driver's seat and the tension gets reduced a bit - the two can each advise the party leader, rather than just wasting time butting heads.

That said: sometimes an optimizer and a role-player just can't get along. (In about 3 seconds, somebody's going to say 'but an optimizer can be a role-player': that's technically true, but that's not the table situation Alex has here.) You may in the end have to drop one player or the other... or ask 'Hank' to GM and see if a party of yourself, 'Mitch' and 'Steve' has fewer problems.

[Joana]

We had a couple of brothers-in-law in our group who couldn't stop picking at each other, in character and out. It got to where it was so bad, they couldn't tell you what their PCs' actual quest was because they were so focused on "getting" each other in-game. That was the point where I called the campaign.

We had a bit of success in playing separate campaigns, one with the group and one brother-in-law and one with the group and the other. With the other guy not at the table, they were both a lot easier to get along with and more engrossed in the story. It was sad that they couldn't put it aside long enough for the whole group to play together, though.

[M P 433]

Be open with your gamers one at a time (away from the gaming table, maybe on a night you invite one out for a quick bite of food) about how you aren't enjoying the game as much with the bickering, and see if they'll be responsible enough to see what they can do to help make it end.

It may not work, you may just have incompatible players. Just don't try to handle anything in-game as that's just dodging the real issue and in a way that won't be effective.

[blackbloodtroll]

Talk to them each, alone. Discuss your concerns in a cordial manner. You would be surprised how well this works.

[Robespierre]

Polar opposite players sometimes have a hard time being in the same party. However it doesn't help that they're being immature about it. I would consider sitting down with them and talking it through like a real group.

[pipedreamsam]

They need to learn to respect the opinions of others, maybe introduce a really mean, snarky, or condescending NPC that they can rally together against.

[The Saltmarsh 6]

Sounds to me like you have just a bit of brother trouble.
I had the same problem with my brother it's nothing to do with the game it's just that brothers can rub each other up the wrong way for no real reason.
best thing is to sit them down and have a chat they probably dont even know that they are doing anything wrong

[Alex Head]

Lincoln Hills wrote:

I think my foremost advice would be to approach each one when the other's not around and ask him, as a favor, to try to get along a bit better with the other. Tell them you can't think of a solution and put it on their shoulders to try to save the game. Just because you're the GM doesn't mean you're the U.N. or a babysitter.

I like this. I think this will work with atleast one of them, which is all it would take.

Robespierre wrote:

Polar opposite players sometimes have a hard time being in the same party. However it doesn't help that they're being immature about it. I would consider sitting down with them and talking it through like a real group.

Yeah, i know... I just dread having to have that talk with everyone. You're right, though, they deserve the respect of being spoken to openly. I just hope they can take criticism from me - they certainly can't from each other :\