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That reminds me of my "tray of brownies" prank I pulled some years ago. I showed up for a Pathfinder game with a big baking tray covered with foil and told people "I brought a try of brownies". One of them (who was pregnant) got really excited, grabbed the tray, looked very confused at how light it was, and lifted the foil. Inside were more than 100 E's I had cut out of brown construction paper. Everyone was confused until they realized that they were "Brown E's". We all had a good laugh, although the pregnant lady was also quite upset that I didn't actually have any brownies for her to eat, so she sent her husband to go buy some from a nearby grocery store.Crater Lake's a running joke with our family. We were staying in Ashland, drove HOURS to get to Crater lake, and the fog was some of the thickest I've ever been in. Visibility was literally about 10'. So we saw nothing. So occasionally we get some gray paper, frame it, and send it to each other as "memories of Crater Lake".I once drove all the way from central Arizona to Bend, Oregon; just to have some beers and a burger. Did some sightseeing along the way. Golden Gate Bridge and Crater Lake for instance.1400 miles is a bit far of a drive for dinner.L.A. has some great Mexican places.
Just sayin'.
(1) Do not taunt with baking.
(2) Do not bake while nekkid.| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
I swear, death's another one of those, "Let's completely hose the poor," things. Legally, we're not allowed to touch my mother's estate to pay for any post-mortem expenses we incur. So Elder Brother has racked up around $2000 in expenses up in Seattle (her cremation and legal work), and my bill is getting close to $5000 (California lawyer, accountant, house appraisal). Considering that article just this year that most Americans can't even afford $400 in emergency expenses, what the heck are they supposed to do if they can't even afford cremation/burial, much less legal fees?
I guess that's why many rural Americans have big back yards...
EDIT: I mean, even if we were looking at dead minimum no-lawyer "we're going to do it all ourselves" stuff, the cremation was $1200 and the house appraisal was $900. That's still over 5x most Americans' emergency funds...
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I swear, death's another one of those, "Let's completely hose the poor," things. Legally, we're not allowed to touch my mother's estate to pay for any post-mortem expenses we incur. So Elder Brother has racked up around $2000 in expenses up in Seattle (her cremation and legal work), and my bill is getting close to $5000 (California lawyer, accountant, house appraisal). Considering that article just this year that most Americans can't even afford $400 in emergency expenses, what the heck are they supposed to do if they can't even afford cremation/burial, much less legal fees?
I guess that's why many rural Americans have big back yards...
EDIT: I mean, even if we were looking at dead minimum no-lawyer "we're going to do it all ourselves" stuff, the cremation was $1200 and the house appraisal was $900. That's still over 5x most Americans' emergency funds...
Emergency fund, what's that?
It feels like I've spent my entire adult life bouncing from one financial crisis to the next. Any time I start to get a little bit saved up, a car breaks down, or I wind up having to pay some big medical bill. My "emergency funds" have always been the generosity of family and friends and a promise to pay them back (which I do).| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
And because you are paying them back, you are not building up an emergency fund. So the cycle continues. Yup, I been there.
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We make stupid amounts of money.
Yet our "emergency fund" has... $944.54 in it right now.
We exist on vast lines of credit: Accumulate debt on one card, once its cycle completes set it up for payment and accumulate debt on the next card, etc., so we have 3 months of income to pay off any major incident without having to pay any interest. Then in September my options vest, we reset the cycle, and start again the next year. The whole, "The government charges you 4% for using a card," hits us all the time. $4000 tuition? Sorry, that's $4160. $7000 for property taxes? Sorry, that's $7280."
Most of my mother's liquid inheritance is going towards breaking that cycle of stupid.
And as I said, we have a ludicrous income. We just live in the Bay Area so we have ludicrous outflow to match.
EDIT: The *big* difference is retirement. We're well ahead of the curve on retirement savings. But if we want to retire to the E.U., we can't touch that because we have to be able to prove roughly $4000/month in income to get the "rich folks" permanent visa. So if we ended up in a life-or-death situation, we could pull the retirement funds and afford quite a bit. But that's more than just an emergency like, "Impus Major just totaled the car again..." It's got to be a life-changing emergency.
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What's keeping us afloat while Cyz finishes school is student loans and three roommates. And even that part is precarious with two of the roommates becoming unemployed last year. Credit cards make up the emergency part of the equation, which I'm trying to get under control. Cyz's PhD prospects should cover paying off the loans and maintaining the household (even without my brother and our friends contributing) but I can't say it isn't a stressful thing. At least I have retirement accounts, that's more than some can say. Even if I treat them as 'if they survive' rather than an actual plan.
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I THINK i have some cheetohs in the couch cushions that haven't gone TOO stale.
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I have a rock collection.
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I am expecting to make millions by 'shorting' CY's rock collection.
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I have my first ever sernik (Polish cheesecake) in the oven, because American-style cheesecake is gross and anything containing cream cheese should be banned under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.
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I'd eat your cheesecake.
Wait...
Yes. That is what I meant.
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I swear, I usually abhor dumb cats, but it is impossible not to love Mephisto for his unshakeable good nature and unstoppable curiosity.
Last night was our first family member bath since we got the kittens. So of course Mephisto and Morrigan investigated. And of course Morrigan fell in. Mephisto watched in curiosity as we tried to towel off Morrigan but she would have none of it. So he followed her around, grooming her every time she stood still. She eventually gave up and let him get to drying her off. He was an amazingly attentive brother.
While he was working, I took the towel I'd been trying to use, folded it up in front of the hall heater, and cranked the heat so it would stay permanently on until she was warm and dry. I put her on the towel, let her feel the heat, and she was definitely, "Oh, this is nice, but I have better things to do," and wandered off.
I figured she'd get cold and be back.
Instead, I opened the hall door 10 minutes later to find Mephisto sprawled on his back on the towel, eyes closed, luxuriating in the heat. As I sighed, one eye opened as if to say, "What?"
Boy is a good-natured hedonist. And we love him for it.
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Fantasy Monster: Cheese Gremlin
Based on a heartbreakingly True Story.
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I swear, our lawyer continues to prove he's worth his weight in gold (which isn't quite what he's costing us, but gold has gone up an awful lot).
"Here's a ZIP file of all the government forms you're supposed to have filed already that I'm sure you didn't know about, plus step-by-step instructions on getting them to the right people in the right way."
Yes, I love my lawyer. Just not in a biblical sense.
Fate may be about to be unkind.
The kittens are behaving better outside so I'm giving them longer leads. Mephisto promptly located a rat-sized hole leaving into our subfloor. Once Impus Major is off his call I may send the M's to go exploring down there.
They're horrible hunters. Between the three of them they have failed to defeat a newt nor a Jerusalem cricket. But the rats don't know that, and will flee.
EDIT: I mean yes, rat could bite and latch on and force an ER visit for stitches. And rat would create the angriest, deadliest mass of rat destruction in the neighborhood. Mephisto's reaction to something hurting him is full claws at full strength. And he is solid muscle.
And in today's edition of, "How to enrage NobodysHome," yet another instance of, "Bilk the poor or the careful to pay for the rich or the profligate."
Our utility company sent us a breakdown of our new bill:
Low Usage (200 kWh/month): Bill increases from $75 to $91 (+21%).
Moderate Usage (450 kWh/month): Bill increases from $184 to $188 (+2%).
High Usage (700 kWh/month): Bill decreases from $304 to $296 (-5%).
So, "Hi, we're introducing a new billing system that vastly increases the bill for the lowest energy users so we can give a discount to high energy users."
Soooooooo angry...
Fantasy Monster: Cheese Gremlin
Based on a heartbreakingly True Story.
** spoiler omitted **
Of course it was. There can be only one, after all.
Of course it was. There can be only one, after all.Fantasy Monster: Cheese Gremlin
Based on a heartbreakingly True Story.
** spoiler omitted **
But there were none! NONE!
But there were none! NONE!Of course it was. There can be only one, after all.Fantasy Monster: Cheese Gremlin
Based on a heartbreakingly True Story.
** spoiler omitted **
Down that back alley, where you could not see. Lightning crackles around a triumphant gouda, who brandishes a cheese slicer, then runs off into the night.
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FFXIV is such a cozy, polite game.
I miss it. My connection isn't good enough in this apartment to play right now, so at best I get on once a week to do Fashion Report and Cactpot and then don't touch it for a week. The times I've tried to do raids it's been so laggy I can't contribute.
Here's hoping when we move out and get an apartment that isn't on campus our network will be at least a little better.
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EDIT: OMG. They're even worse. They're of the "AI can do everything for me cult." "Oh, I just love that answer the conversation I can use the Zoom AI notetaker to track what was said.
Have you USED that notetaker? It's epically awful. We pitted it against my notetaking in a John Henry-style competition, and it wasn't even a competition; the Zoom AI notes were terrible.
In my experience, these sorts of people don't care about the quality - the appeal of AI to them is that it does the thing they want, with no work put in from them, and with no complaints, disagreement, or expectation of treatment.
They don't care that, in actual practice, they have to take two or three times as long to get the job done, and the actual quality of the work will be noticeably worse.
The AI giving vanilla answers is even often a plus for those sorts, as it means they don't have to deal with difficult questions or responses. It's all very plain and straightforward and simple for them.
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Speaking of ens****ification, we broach the topic of toilet paper. [snip]
The hotel we stayed in during our Japan trip had a bidet, as did most of the public restrooms. We have considered everything since a disappointment.
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I'm done with work.
I've worked 55 out of 72 hours, shoveling snow.
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Also RE:TP:
Have fun with that.
I have my first ever sernik (Polish cheesecake) in the oven, because American-style cheesecake is gross and anything containing cream cheese should be banned under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.
Send me any American cheesecake you don't want, I will happily devour it to the last crumb.
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I swear, I usually abhor dumb cats, but it is impossible not to love Mephisto for his unshakeable good nature and unstoppable curiosity.
Last night was our first family member bath since we got the kittens. So of course Mephisto and Morrigan investigated. And of course Morrigan fell in. Mephisto watched in curiosity as we tried to towel off Morrigan but she would have none of it. So he followed her around, grooming her every time she stood still. She eventually gave up and let him get to drying her off. He was an amazingly attentive brother.
While he was working, I took the towel I'd been trying to use, folded it up in front of the hall heater, and cranked the heat so it would stay permanently on until she was warm and dry. I put her on the towel, let her feel the heat, and she was definitely, "Oh, this is nice, but I have better things to do," and wandered off.
I figured she'd get cold and be back.
Instead, I opened the hall door 10 minutes later to find Mephisto sprawled on his back on the towel, eyes closed, luxuriating in the heat. As I sighed, one eye opened as if to say, "What?"
Boy is a good-natured hedonist. And we love him for it.
Humans just don't get this level of luxury at this price.
Maybe your social credit score is too low.FFXIV is such a cozy, polite game.I miss it. My connection isn't good enough in this apartment to play right now, so at best I get on once a week to do Fashion Report and Cactpot and then don't touch it for a week. The times I've tried to do raids it's been so laggy I can't contribute.
Here's hoping when we move out and get an apartment that isn't on campus our network will be at least a little better.
Nah, this is an issue everyone has here. It's a campus apartment with the cheapest internet they can install. Some people have already sprung for something better, but we're going to hold off until we move out to somewhere we're comfortable spending over a year living, now that we know the area better and how things work here.
So, it's about actual credit score, not social credit.Nah, this is an issue everyone has here. It's a campus apartment with the cheapest internet they can install. Some people have already sprung for something better, but we're going to hold off until we move out to somewhere we're comfortable spending over a year living, now that we know the area better and how things work here.Maybe your social credit score is too low.FFXIV is such a cozy, polite game.I miss it. My connection isn't good enough in this apartment to play right now, so at best I get on once a week to do Fashion Report and Cactpot and then don't touch it for a week. The times I've tried to do raids it's been so laggy I can't contribute.
Here's hoping when we move out and get an apartment that isn't on campus our network will be at least a little better.
I mean, it is housing.
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And thus begins the horrible beginning of the (hopefully) magnificent end.
My first cataract surgery is in 2 weeks, so no contacts for me. Precisely because I'm going in for cataract surgery, my optometrist didn't order me a new glasses prescription. So it's going to be hard to work, impossible to drive, and a lot of, "Face up against the screen wondering what the heck is going on."
All those accessibility settings you always ignore on your computer? Turns out they get really darned useful once the cataracts move in...
And who else here is baffled by "bad dishwasher loaders"?
Dishwashers aren't rocket science. There are thin prongs for plates and wide prongs for bowls, then racks for glasses and something for silverware. Yet one of my friends admitted that whenever she tried to load the dishwasher, her dad would rearrange things and fit in at least 50% more dishes. This morning I got up and was pleasantly surprised to find that someone had loaded the dishwasher. And the sad thing was, it was so neat and organized that I knew that none of my family members had done it.
It's like, "How can you be bad at loading a dishwasher?" The racks are pretty much designed to be fool-proof, yet half the people I know would be hard-pressed to fit 10 plates and 10 bowls into a full-sized dishwasher.
It makes no sense.
EDIT: OK, color me both pleased and sheepish (pleepish?). I asked Impus Major which of his friends had loaded the dishwasher last night, and he admitted he'd done it himself. Boy CAN be taught!
I do miss having a dishwasher. None here in this apartment, so it's back to washing things by hand, which is admittedly how I did things for the majority of my childhood - as soon as we were tall enough to reach the sink, our parents pawned off all the dishwashing duties on myself and my brother.
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The thing that irritates me the most about AI is that now you can't tell whether you're dealing with someone who doesn't read what you're sending them or whether you're dealing with someone who hits the "AI reply" button. Both are useless and annoying, but in my opinion the AI is worse.
NobodysHome : Hi! Just wanted to confirm that you don't need me at the house today.
Appraiser: Sounds great!
Um... WTF is that supposed to mean? Do you expect me there or not?
And the issue is that working with a big tech company, that's been the routine response from project managers for decades; just ask LM about communicating with the Fake Russian some time. Which is probably why the AI is trained to do it.
So now we have automated useless responses.
The thing that irritates me the most about AI is that now you can't tell whether you're dealing with someone who doesn't read what you're sending them or whether you're dealing with someone who hits the "AI reply" button. Both are useless and annoying, but in my opinion the AI is worse.
NobodysHome : Hi! Just wanted to confirm that you don't need me at the house today.
Appraiser: Sounds great!Um... WTF is that supposed to mean? Do you expect me there or not?
And the issue is that working with a big tech company, that's been the routine response from project managers for decades; just ask LM about communicating with the Fake Russian some time. Which is probably why the AI is trained to do it.
So now we have automated useless responses.
While the email story is factual, the Ersatz Russian has been known to put more effort into communicating with people when he considers it worth the bother.
He's like the Badger in Wind in the Willows.He actually just called me the other night; we talked for about half an hour while I made dinner and cheesecake. But we always had a weird "flirty siblings" relationship. It made his ex jealous as hell.
I do miss having a dishwasher. None here in this apartment, so it's back to washing things by hand, which is admittedly how I did things for the majority of my childhood - as soon as we were tall enough to reach the sink, our parents pawned off all the dishwashing duties on myself and my brother.
I've never had a dishwasher until the current apartment. I've lived here 2 and a half years and i still haven't used it.
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That reminds me of my "tray of brownies" prank I pulled some years ago. I showed up for a Pathfinder game with a big baking tray covered with foil and told people "I brought a try of brownies". One of them (who was pregnant) got really excited, grabbed the tray, looked very confused at how light it was, and lifted the foil. Inside were more than 100 E's I had cut out of brown construction paper. Everyone was confused until they realized that they were "Brown E's". We all had a good laugh, although the pregnant lady was also quite upset that I didn't actually have any brownies for her to eat, so she sent her husband to go buy some from a nearby grocery store.Crater Lake's a running joke with our family. We were staying in Ashland, drove HOURS to get to Crater lake, and the fog was some of the thickest I've ever been in. Visibility was literally about 10'. So we saw nothing. So occasionally we get some gray paper, frame it, and send it to each other as "memories of Crater Lake".I once drove all the way from central Arizona to Bend, Oregon; just to have some beers and a burger. Did some sightseeing along the way. Golden Gate Bridge and Crater Lake for instance.1400 miles is a bit far of a drive for dinner.L.A. has some great Mexican places.
Just sayin'.
(1) Do not taunt with baking.
(2) Do not bake while nekkid.
i learned the hard way to not fry things while naked.
The blister has only recently healed and skin color is returning to the area. This is my first time not popping a water blister.
What's keeping us afloat while Cyz finishes school is student loans and three roommates. And even that part is precarious with two of the roommates becoming unemployed last year. Credit cards make up the emergency part of the equation, which I'm trying to get under control. Cyz's PhD prospects should cover paying off the loans and maintaining the household (even without my brother and our friends contributing) but I can't say it isn't a stressful thing. At least I have retirement accounts, that's more than some can say. Even if I treat them as 'if they survive' rather than an actual plan.
Damn. I'm sorry.
I have my first ever sernik (Polish cheesecake) in the oven, because American-style cheesecake is gross and anything containing cream cheese should be banned under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.
You are beautiful and wise, but are currently speaking craziness.
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I'd eat your cheesecake.
Wait...
Yes. That is what I meant.
What the dragon said.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I swear, I usually abhor dumb cats, but it is impossible not to love Mephisto for his unshakeable good nature and unstoppable curiosity.
Last night was our first family member bath since we got the kittens. So of course Mephisto and Morrigan investigated. And of course Morrigan fell in. Mephisto watched in curiosity as we tried to towel off Morrigan but she would have none of it. So he followed her around, grooming her every time she stood still. She eventually gave up and let him get to drying her off. He was an amazingly attentive brother.
While he was working, I took the towel I'd been trying to use, folded it up in front of the hall heater, and cranked the heat so it would stay permanently on until she was warm and dry. I put her on the towel, let her feel the heat, and she was definitely, "Oh, this is nice, but I have better things to do," and wandered off.
I figured she'd get cold and be back.
Instead, I opened the hall door 10 minutes later to find Mephisto sprawled on his back on the towel, eyes closed, luxuriating in the heat. As I sighed, one eye opened as if to say, "What?"
Boy is a good-natured hedonist. And we love him for it.
Now thats my Little Freehold!
Speaking of ens****ification, we broach the topic of toilet paper. [snip]The hotel we stayed in during our Japan trip had a bidet, as did most of the public restrooms. We have considered everything since a disappointment.
I remember one person I made the acquaintance of who viewed Americans as backward savages because we use toilet paper. She did not know it was common here until she came here on vacation after spending a lifetime hearing about good natured American sterotypes via movies and living near a US base in her country. Decades of goodwill built up gone in an instant. I will never forget the look on her face when she discovered the only bidet she would be able to use during this once in a lifetime trip was in her hotel room.
And thus begins the horrible beginning of the (hopefully) magnificent end.
My first cataract surgery is in 2 weeks, so no contacts for me. Precisely because I'm going in for cataract surgery, my optometrist didn't order me a new glasses prescription. So it's going to be hard to work, impossible to drive, and a lot of, "Face up against the screen wondering what the heck is going on."
All those accessibility settings you always ignore on your computer? Turns out they get really darned useful once the cataracts move in...
Impossible. You cannot be at cataract age yet. Not yet.
Impossible. You cannot be at cataract age yet. Not yet.And thus begins the horrible beginning of the (hopefully) magnificent end.
My first cataract surgery is in 2 weeks, so no contacts for me. Precisely because I'm going in for cataract surgery, my optometrist didn't order me a new glasses prescription. So it's going to be hard to work, impossible to drive, and a lot of, "Face up against the screen wondering what the heck is going on."
All those accessibility settings you always ignore on your computer? Turns out they get really darned useful once the cataracts move in...
Both GothBard and I are of solid Northern European non-Slavic descent: Brown-to-nearly-black hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. So even with sunglasses California's higher UV concentration does us in. She had the surgery last year and I'll get it this year. (My mother needed it as well, but I forget how old she was.)
i learned the hard way to not fry things while naked.
The blister has only recently healed and skin color is returning to the area. This is my first time not popping a water blister.
Oh come on, what could go wrong?!
You are beautiful and wise, but are currently speaking craziness.I have my first ever sernik (Polish cheesecake) in the oven, because American-style cheesecake is gross and anything containing cream cheese should be banned under the provisions of the Geneva Convention.
Who will tell Lisa that we do use cream cheese for cheesecake in Poland from time to time?
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Yeah, I think I was just born under a lucky financial star.
We've had about $20,000 in cash outlays in January. About $15,000 was expected (kids' tuition and property tax on our house), but I'm also having to pay all the California fees for dealing with my mother's estate. So as I mentioned, we had to float some of the money and I'm sitting here desperately scrambling to figure out how to make $5,000 appear out of thin air.
And then my brother emails me: One of my mother's non-trust accounts had named beneficiaries, so
(a) I should be receiving my third by the end of February, which is exactly the "$5,000 out of thin air" that I desperately needed, and
(b) the account has enough in it to drop the rest under Washington's $100,000 probate limit so it looks like we no longer have to do probate, either.
They say that wealth is 10% planning and 90% luck. I am inclined to agree.
EDIT: I mean, in 1999 I was a college professor, GothBard was working at a biology company, and we were barely making ends meet. The idea of building up savings or retirement was beyond us. Then I quit my horrible job just as the dot boom was "hiring anyone who was breathing" as my new director put it. I was unemployed for 2 weeks before getting picked up by a tech company for a 33% raise. Raw luck. Then I happened to be a perfect fit and got massive raises every year. A combination of luck and work. My parents helped me with a down payment on a house (relatives). I got laid off, lost everything except the house, and then someone from my former tech company saw that I was looking for work and picked me up. Luck/who you know. We still weren't doing great, but as our gaming group grew someone noticed GothBard's imagination and said, "Hey, you'd make a great game developer!" Luck/who you know. And suddenly we had dual tech incomes and it was off to the races. Planning.