Last one to post wins

[Fish-Malkovich]

Niece biscuits!

[The when]

Flanders Fries.

[Pulg]

Po-diddley-atoes.

[Fish-Malkovich]

Jaff-Falafel cakes!

[The when]

Time to listen to YYZ again…

[Double Mullet Denim Dude]

hell yeah brother

[Etemon]

You know, I was the lead singer and guitarist for YYZ when we first got together back in the 60’s.

But, after forty glorious years, we finally retired and let new members take over (excluding the drummer, he refuses to retire).

[The when]

The wheel turns. Now it’s time to listen to All Along the Watchtower.
Even a Bob Dylan version.

[Pulg's Fairy Trombone Orchestra]

Proop proop proop proop proop proop.

Proop proop proop proop proop proop.

[Etemon]

*Joins in with Pulg’s Fairy Trombone Orchestra, playing an electric guitar and singing the song in Japanese while retaining the Elvis voice.*

[The when]

Now listening to Amazed by the Offspring.

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

I am constantly Amazed by my Offspring, and never in a good way, let me assure you.

[The Riddling Reaver]

*Descends down a rope that is being suspended from a flying galley ship.*

This is not quite how I wanted to make an entrance, but I couldn’t bear to see such a fine lady so glum!

*While still on the rope, manoeuvres around to greet Dowager Comtesse de Malodor in a gentlemanly way.*

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

Oh! Hello, Wilfred!

[The when]

While Wilfred and the Comtesse get it on, we listen to Adam & the Ants performing “The Ants Invasion”.

[The Riddling Reaver]

Dowager Comtesse de Malodor wrote:

Oh! Hello, Wilfred!

Shhh! My dear lady, please! Though I keep my true identity secret, even from you, I am fully aware that you have the means to acquire the knowledge (and you have done), I share all the information that I have of my world in exchange for staying an enigma to all.

[Octave de Malodor]

Dowager Comtesse de Malodor wrote:

Oh! Hello, Wilfred!

Justine! Explain yourself!

[The Riddling Reaver]

Now, now, it’s nothing like that. And even if it was, I hardly think that you of all people have the right to judge.

[Octave de Malodor]

Silence! You have impugned the honour of the House of Malodor! I challenge you to a dowel!

[Comte de Malodor]

Duel, Pops.

[Octave de Malodor]

A duel with dowels.

[The when]

For doweling music we have Weezer performing “Automatic “.

[The Riddling Reaver]

Octave de Malodor wrote:

Silence! You have impugned the honour of the House of Malodor! I challenge you to a dowel!

*Bursts out laughing, finding Octave de Malodor humorous.*

My dear fellow, you honestly don’t know just who I am do you? Maybe this will help.

As such, I know of another who would gladly duel you in my place!

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

*Charges in on horseback, impales Comte de Malodor in the process with a lance, comes to a halt in front of The Riddling Reaver.*

I am here to engage in a duel with the mildewed pond scum that is Octave de Malodor!

[The when]

So, naturally, Back In Black by AC//DC plays.

[Octave de Malodor]

The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef wrote:

*Charges in on horseback, impales Comte de Malodor in the process with a lance, comes to a halt in front of The Riddling Reaver.*

I am here to engage in a duel with the mildewed pond scum that is Octave de Malodor!

Blast your eyes and moisten your dishcloth, Sir Loin! I've taken my hormones, am wearing my truss, and it's not past my bedtime, so BRING IT ON!

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

*Dismounts horse, and unsheathes a magnificent sword from its scabbard.*

Most gladly! Have at you, lowly swine!

*The battle only lasts no longer than a few seconds as The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef quickly defeats (and expertly kills) Octave de Malodor.*

[Super Slaad?]

Chicken thighs.
Ground chuck.
Bratwurst.
Lamb chop.
Baby back ribs.
Sow belly.

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

I knew those men, the finest example of knights you would ever see, they alas gave their lives defending Dowager Comtesse de Malodor during the early stages of the Blood War (when Pulg betrayed her to the enemy).

[Pulg]

That was Pulgzuzu, not me. Also, I am not willing to be attached to a pole and used to mop up Octave de Malodor for less than £21.65.

[The Riddling Reaver]

Here you go, cash in full!

*Gives Pulg 10 times his asking price.*

[Pulg]

Oh wow.

HEY FAIRIES, IT'S PAYDAY!

[The Riddling Reaver]

And what better way to spend all that money, than on a good old fashioned game of: Liar’s Dice!

*Sits at a large, round table, holding an iron cup with five ivory cubes (six sided dice).*

We’re playing the single hand version, and all types of wagers are accepted. Just bring a cup and 5d6s!

[Super Slaad?]

*Gives Pulg a goldbrick and a stick.*

“You know what to do.”

[The Riddling Reaver]

*Laughs at the goldbrick.*

That’s not worth very much, might be good as butter for the fairy bands’ bread!

*Studies that stick, gets delighted.*

Now that is worth a good deal of money! Care to use it for a wager?

[Pulg's Mind]

*Thinks: why has Super Slaad gilded my wives, and which one is this - Lucy, or Beatrice?*

[Super Slaad?]

*Nibbles on Pulg’s Mind.*

[The Riddling Reaver]

So Pulg, are you playing with us or not? We just need a fifth person.

Right now, the people who are playing (excluding myself) the game of Liar’s Dice are;

The Dirty Dangler

Lady Blackmoor

Fish-Malkovich

[The when]

Super Slaad? nibbles delicately at Pulg’s Mind, giving him the uneasy feeling that he is forgetting something important.

In the background, Uriah Heep perform Blind Eye.

[Bumptious Wazzock]

Hey, The when, Comte de Malodor and I are having our own game of Liar’s Dice on our table. Want to join us?

[The when]

Comte de Malodor was only just recently pierced through by a lance, and The when only posts when music is playing. (It’s new policy.)

The Who; Boris The Spider.

But sure, why not?

1d4 ⇒ 11d6 ⇒ 61d8 ⇒ 21d10 ⇒ 21d12 ⇒ 71d20 ⇒ 12

“Whoohoo! I got a thirty two! Beat that!”

Now Saint Motel is doing Born Again.

[Bumptious Wazzock]

You’re not supposed to say what your exact rolls are, you have to guess how many of a specific number everyone has.

I will help you, and start by making a bid of four threes.

[Pulg]

Nine twenties.

[Super Slaad?]

Can I say twin nineties?

Why yes, yes I can.

[Bumptious Wazzock]

Twelve fives! Call me a liar, or raise the bid!

[Super Slaad?]

Nine twenties beats twelve fives most days.

Of course, twin nineties are best, if you are knocking Stukas out of the sky.

[Pulg]

Bumptious Wazzock wrote:

Twelve fives! Call me a liar, or raise the bid!

I'll do better. I'll call you an Appalachian Dulcimer.

[Battery Sgt. Major Longears]

Super Slaad? wrote:

Nine twenties beats twelve fives most days.

Of course, twin nineties are best, if you are knocking Stukas out of the sky.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! WE ARE THE LUFTWAFFE'S DOOM!

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

Have more of my ancient nemesis’s returned from oblivion itself to challenge me?

[Super Slaad?]

Yes, the loofah waffle is here to de-foot you.