Yes, you read that correctly. I wanted to do something to show solidarity with my NaNoWriMo friends, so I invented “NaNoWriMi.” You see how much of a novel you can write in a minute (hence the “Mi”), and then you abandon it forever. 1, 2, 3, go…
My "Novel Zero" was this:
Last Moon at Aggathor
by Mike Selinker
Today I am a man, thought Redclaw. I can give up enough of myself to make the change, day or night. The greater acommplishemnt is retaining enough of myself to change back.
Yes, that's how I spelled "accomplishment." You think I'm wasting precious seconds on spellchecking? I've concluded that the rule "You can finish your last sentence, but for God's sakes, be quick about it" may need to exist, but most people seem to get somewhere with 60 seconds from conception to (a sort of) conclusion.
Anyway, it's kinda taken off on my Facebook page ("novels" by Jason Bulmahn, Owen Stephens, Miranda Horner, and more), so I figured folks here might like in. I'll probably collect them somewhere afterward. Anybody want to climb on board the NaNoWriMi Express?
Mike
Director of Games
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I wrote a new one just for the Paizo boards.. here it is. Enjoy.
The ship was traveling at mark 7, well above its optimal cruising speed. The deck plates creaked, and the engines were beginning to make an ominious rumble. None of that mattered though. The Zeus class heavy destroyer had to make it to Tau Antaris system within the next 4 hours or 17.2 billion people were going to die.
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Senior Software Developer
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Insert Title Here, by Gary Teter
"That's not a book, that's a lecture," she said. "I can't tell you how important this thing is to me -- they're out there, they know it, and they're coming to get us." Then the walls fell, but it wasn't like that at all. Dust everywhere. Books a-kilter. The end was at hand. She wrote, and then was done. With four seconds to spare.
OK, I admit I thought of the title before the minute started.
I thought of my byline before the minute started, so don't worry about it.
Whodunnit?
Detective Dudley puffed on his pipe as lightning crashed outside. He regarded the group sitting in the parlor and said, "One of you is the murderer! Is it Prof. Pumpernickel? Miss Crimson? Or perhaps Dr. Knowbody? Judging by the evidence we have, that murderer is..."
(Seconds to spare)
Seconds to spare? Then you easily could have told us who the murderer was! That's just mean.
Dawn in the AP's Office
by Reggie
They'll be here any minute, he thought wearily. The hot weather won't keep them out this time, the little buggers. What can I do? Then it hit him in a flash.
Close the place down! Even the staff'll be happy then!
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Seconds to spare? Then you easily could have told us who the murderer was! That's just mean.Whodunnit?
Detective Dudley puffed on his pipe as lightning crashed outside. He regarded the group sitting in the parlor and said, "One of you is the murderer! Is it Prof. Pumpernickel? Miss Crimson? Or perhaps Dr. Knowbody? Judging by the evidence we have, that murderer is..."
(Seconds to spare)
It was Colonel Marmalade!
Rob, that's a fine bit of science-fiction.
Reggie, that's a fine bit of horror.
Cosmo, that's enough out of you.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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Well, what had started out as a miserable day had brightened considerably, Par Obenka reflected. The weather 'droids had managed to clear the sleet out of the air, and the magni-rails were finally running on schedule, after all the endless issues with the Imperial troopers hassling the natives. He instructed the railcar to drop him off at his office, where he was scheduled to meet with his superiors about a lucrative off-planet report.
It was, all told, the best day in Par Obenka's life.
And then he looked up, puzzled. "Alderaan doesn't have a moon," he muttered.
Opportunity Lost
by Ashavan Doyon
Pain exploded through me at the thought. It started in the temples, beating like drumbeats hard upon my flesh. Then it jolted inwards, inflaming the inner layers of my brain like that stupid egg they used to tell you would be your brain if you did drugs. Funny, didn't need drugs to make that happen.
All very fine novels, guys.
The Foot Path
by Tensor
I woke up hungry for Taco Bell. Sleepily, I rose to my feet. My shoes… hmm, somewhere. A thought hit me. The dark ones may be waiting. Images of dark wings, and white fangs came to my mind. “F$%! it,” I said out loud. I want some tacos.
Slipping into my shoes, I quietly push open the door. A warm wind, for a November day, brushes past me. Leaves in the parking lot chase each other in circles. I start walking.
Tensor, you have made the greatest thing to ever use the words "Taco Bell."
Against the Wind
The 8th Dwarf.
The ship swung about sails limp against the wind, Fire shouted commander Ableyard. Grapeshot store white hot through the air. The men on deck of the La Victore we torn to bloody shreds.
Against the Wind
The 8th Dwarf.The ship swung about sails limp against the wind, Fire shouted commander Ableyard. Grapeshot store white hot through the air. The men on deck of the La Victore we torn to bloody shreds.
Argh the grammar the grammar....
So badly want and need to edit.............
Argh the grammar the grammar....
So badly want and need to edit.............
Discipline, Dwarf, discipline. Just getting the words down is its own acommplishemnt. Er, accomplishment.
Story by Dale C. McCoy, Jr.
The clash of swords rang out across the courtyard. All those looking down from the tower saw the valor of their fighting men and women, but it became quickly obvious that their forces were woefully outnumbered.
Rocksalt
The 8th Dwarf
The pumpkin crashed through the window showering the room in glass.
"Happy Halloween freaks" an acne faced teenage voice rang out.
Thomo grabbed his shotgun he had loaded with rocksalt. The roar of both barrels silenced the
"My throne!"
"No, mine!"
"Mine!"
Stab. Bleed. (slightly more slowly). "No, mine. See."
"Ha!" (gurgling) “Look behind you."
"Ha. No."
"Seriously."
(stamping noises. Sounds of bones breaking).
"Right. Bet there's nothing there."
(pause).
"Oh. B!%$$!~s."
Was supposed to be The Adamantine Palace in sixty seconds but on reflection reads more like Hamlet. Hey ho.
Adventure Story 1:
Dry air is a form of poison. Life adapted to it always looks harsh with fringes of violence. Johnny moved across the moistureless land scape.
(I am cheating here a bit. :) )
For Sale
by Anonymous
The man slowly typed out the ad he would pay to have placed in the classifieds section of the local newspaper:
"For sale: baby shoes, barely used."
Dinosaurs In The Dark
It started like any other dream, but quickly it became a blank canvas and repainted itself.
Chance Meeting
The shop was well lit, and a little dusty. Both walls of the narrow space had high, long bookshelves running the entire length of the store. On them were books and oddities.
The Bar
Otis stood behind the bar drying a recently washed glass when it started. Another body added to the fray, as Otis reached down with a sigh.
"Time to bust some skulls," he said as he raised up a piece of knotted wood.
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Spellbook
"Why do so many wizards all use the same spells, if they can research new ones? Wouldn't it be better to have all unique spells, so no one could counterspell you?"
Kyrnan Vale winced at the apprentice's cracking voice. Children at that age were always annoying. Spellcasting children were unbearable.
The Sound of Her Voice
A voice spoke out. "There are stairs here," a small flicker of light came on to reveal the face of a small black feline.
There was a loud clatter followed by a noisy thump. "OW," another voice cried out. "I warned you," the cat replied. "Yeah, yeah, Ginger. Would you please