Ponies are not old enough to drink.
Fake id collars are getting pretty good these days.....
Do ponies wear collars?
So....A pony, a Werewolf, and a kobold walk into a bar.....
The hobgoblin ducks.
So....A pony, a Werewolf, and a kobold walk into a bar..... and get heckled by the drunken rot grubs.
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hee hee good ones....
don't know about ponies and collars though. not sure what I was thinking.
::goes back to making a summoning diagram for silver dragons::
add a pony,werewolf,&kobold joke......check
beware of the fish.....what does that mean?....
does not say anything in here about poodles....hmmmmmmmm
A pony, a kobold, and a werewolf walk into a bar. They approach the bartender and tell him that they each have 1000 gold that they want to spend on a drink. They tell the bartender that it has to be a unique drink for each of them, and that it has to be the greatest drink they’ve ever had, or they won't pay.
The bartender agrees to the terms and heads into the back room. A few minutes later, he emerges and places a bright green and yellow drink in front of the pony. The bartender tells him that it is a celestial alfalfa daiquiri. The pony tastes it and proclaims it to be the greatest beverage he has ever tasted.
The bartender goes back into the back room and comes back with a purplish drink that seems to have a yellowish steam wafting off of it. The bartender places the drink in front of the kobold and says that it is a rare cocktail, made of fermented mushrooms grown deep in the heart of the earth, that have never felt the touch of sunlight or wind. The kobold downs the drink and announces it to be the greatest drink ever created.
The bartender goes back into the back room and returns seconds later with an empty glass. He puts it down in front of the werewolf and grins. The werewolf snarls at the bartender and demands to know what’s going on. The bartender grins at the werewolf and says that the werewolf’s drink is one part kobold, one part pony, seasoned with rare mushrooms, and garnished with celestial alfalfa.
It was the best drink the werewolf ever had.
CR
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good one, corrosive.
sebastian, I am sure the warwoof had nothing but the most noble of intentions with that joke.
Edit: Score!!! A frakkin pony. That triples the success ratio of summoning silver dragons!!! Purple hair...check Bella Sara Charter Superscriber...check ......now where is that Kobold...CLEaVER little fellows they are....My summoning diagram will be completed soon!!!
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and proceed to get entirely blitzed.
The following morning, none of the three could remember any events from the night before, though they all carried bruises, cuts and scrapes and the kobold had a terrible case of heartburn. They decided they needed to get to the bottom of the missing events and began to retrace their steps.
They had no success until they stepped back into the bar. The interior was a shambles and the bartender, upon seeing them, picked up a large bat.
"What in tarnation are you three doing back here?"
"Well, we're not quite sure. We woke up this morning with no memory of what happened last night.", said the kobold as the other two stood by the door warily eying the bat wielding barkeep.
"Can't remember, huh? Well I'll tell ya what happened. You three got all sorts of drunk in here and started challenging each other to all sorts of things. You," said the barkeep, leveling his bat at the werewolf,"began juggling a group of halflings, lanterns and anything else you could get your paws on."
"You", said the barkeep, pointing the bat at the pony,"were jumping and leaping from table to table, flipping in midair and relieving yourself on the customers."
"And YOU," said the barkeep, turning the bat to the kobold," were the worst of the group, going on and on about your exploits, about defeating legions of gnomes, swallowing one of the halflings and basically doing all you could to prove yourself better than anyone else in the bar at anything you could think of."
"Worst dog and pony show-offs I ever saw."
<runs from the thread as he expects to be pelted by tomatoes for the bad pun attempt>
<runs from the thread as he expects to be pelted by tomatoes for the bad pun attempt>
Hah! Good one!
and proceed to get entirely blitzed.
The following morning, none of the three could remember any events from the night before, though they all carried bruises, cuts and scrapes and the kobold had a terrible case of heartburn. They decided they needed to get to the bottom of the missing events and began to retrace their steps.
They had no success until they stepped back into the bar. The interior was a shambles and the bartender, upon seeing them, picked up a large bat.
"What in tarnation are you three doing back here?"
"Well, we're not quite sure. We woke up this morning with no memory of what happened last night.", said the kobold as the other two stood by the door warily eying the bat wielding barkeep.
"Can't remember, huh? Well I'll tell ya what happened. You three got all sorts of drunk in here and started challenging each other to all sorts of things. You," said the barkeep, leveling his bat at the werewolf,"began juggling a group of halflings, lanterns and anything else you could get your paws on."
"You", said the barkeep, pointing the bat at the pony,"were jumping and leaping from table to table, flipping in midair and relieving yourself on the customers."
"And YOU," said the barkeep, turning the bat to the kobold," were the worst of the group, going on and on about your exploits, about defeating legions of gnomes, swallowing one of the halflings and basically doing all you could to prove yourself better than anyone else in the bar at anything you could think of."
"Worst dog and pony show-offs I ever saw."
That's because I was a good showoff. Loser ponies and warwoofs...
…at least the barmaids are safe.
…at least the barmaids are safe.Not for long......
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No I have all three components for summoning a Silver Dragon!! A warwoof, a pony, and a kobold. Surely, he will be coming soon.....
Don't you mean a gecko?
Also: A pony, a Warwoof, and a kobold walk into a bar. The gecko didn't know what hit him.|
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::waits patiently::...which is kinda dumb because after the first one bumped into it, the second one should have noticed something.
why whatever do you mean?
poodle hero is good..... but i do not like the ridiculously long feat progression it takes till you can hump somebodies leg.
gecko you say? is that your term for a certain silver dragon? Regardless I am not looking to hear from Geico's lawyers. I already have had to hear from marvel's lawyers when I yelled flame on before breathing fire on poorly optimized party. That and all the paternity tests, thanks to WOTC and their obsession with half-red dragon this and red dragonborn that, everyone thinks we are a bunch mating maniacs. Now everyone claims to have red dragon ancestry. Just a bunch greedy munckins looking to score some of the hoard.
Was it a biker bar?
…at least the barmaids are safe.Not for long......
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! No I have all three components for summoning a Silver Dragon!! A warwoof, a pony, and a kobold. Surely, he will be coming soon.....
So, little doggie, want to play Space hero or Mutant hero?
*POOF* ~cough, cough, cough~ Dratted summoning spells! ~Looks around~ Who summoned me? ~GLARES at the three stooges~ Did you three do this?
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HAH!!! It worked!! How in the devil did it actually wor.....??
Nevermind that. 'AHEM'
I have summoned you here to, er, uh, :looks around: apologize for bombing your thread in the customer service section. I dont know what I was thinking, and can only really conclude that the orange monster drinks combined with a copious amount of coffee caused my infraction.
The three were tricked and failed their will save. I do not know what to say about the poodle. I feed him and now he wont leave. Preaches about the coming of Hero, he does. He also informed me of the ponies disregard for laws involving the required age to consume alcohol.
poodle hero is good..... but i do not like the ridiculously long feat progression it takes till you can hump somebodies leg.
O.k. I can not help it. That is just plain wrong. Poodle Hero is thankfully free of level restrictions. It is entirely possible to create a beginning character that is actually proficient at their chosen shtick. Unlike some other, unnamed, games.
If you really want to take a shot, you could complain about the overly complex formulas required to write up a decent leg humping ability, or, suggest that without aforementioned write up, you character is utterly incapable of performing such a basic feat.
HAH!!! It worked!! How in the devil did it actually wor.....??
Nevermind that. 'AHEM'
I have summoned you here to, er, uh, :looks around: apologize for bombing your thread in the customer service section. I dont know what I was thinking, and can only really conclude that the orange monster drinks combined with a copious amount of coffee caused my infraction.
The three were tricked and failed their will save. I do not know what to say about the poodle. I feed him and now he wont leave. Preaches about the coming of Hero, he does. He also informed me of the ponies disregard for laws involving the required age to consume alcohol.
~grumbles, snarls, grumbles~ Oh, alright. Apology accepted. Now what are we going to do about these three stooges?
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~grumbles, snarls, grumbles~ Oh, alright. Apology accepted. Now what are we going to do about these three stooges?HAH!!! It worked!! How in the devil did it actually wor.....??
Nevermind that. 'AHEM'
I have summoned you here to, er, uh, :looks around: apologize for bombing your thread in the customer service section. I dont know what I was thinking, and can only really conclude that the orange monster drinks combined with a copious amount of coffee caused my infraction.
The three were tricked and failed their will save. I do not know what to say about the poodle. I feed him and now he wont leave. Preaches about the coming of Hero, he does. He also informed me of the ponies disregard for laws involving the required age to consume alcohol.
Well, I don't think they deserve to be banished to 4E.....actually, I will simply let you take the lead on that. I have three buckets of fish sitting in the corner over there. The bella sara cards are non-refundable, as are the kidnapped gnomes....
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poodle hero is good..... but i do not like the ridiculously long feat progression it takes till you can hump somebodies leg.O.k. I can not help it. That is just plain wrong. Poodle Hero is thankfully free of level restrictions. It is entirely possible to create a beginning character that is actually proficient at their chosen shtick. Unlike some other, unnamed, games.
If you really want to take a shot, you could complain about the overly complex formulas required to write up a decent leg humping ability, or, suggest that without aforementioned write up, you character is utterly incapable of performing such a basic feat.
Alright, alright, how about the fact that humping legs requires too many points for the maneuver and should only require 2x advantage instead of three. Not to mention that I can just buy up the underpriced strength attribute and force someone to accept a good old canine leg hump.
The drunken satyr wasn't listed as walking into the bar, because he'd been there all along...
Alright, alright, how about the fact that humping legs requires too many points for the maneuver and should only require 2x advantage instead of three. Not to mention that I can just buy up the underpriced strength attribute* and force someone to accept a good old canine leg hump.
Much better.
*supposedly corrected in 6e
poodle hero is good..... but i do not like the ridiculously long feat progression it takes till you can hump somebodies leg.O.k. I can not help it. That is just plain wrong. Poodle Hero is thankfully free of level restrictions. It is entirely possible to create a beginning character that is actually proficient at their chosen shtick. Unlike some other, unnamed, games.
If you really want to take a shot, you could complain about the overly complex formulas required to write up a decent leg humping ability, or, suggest that without aforementioned write up, you character is utterly incapable of performing such a basic feat.
Pfff, you need one combat maneuver (Leg Hump) and a few combat levels (Leg Hump). You'll be fine, just invest your experience wisely.
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Sorry to threadjack but how did the pony (Sebastian) wind up with the pony avatar and the Bella Sara Charter Superscriber tag?
I asked the same question about the unique avatar. Check this thread for the answer (about 2/3 of the way down the page).
So....A pony, a Werewolf, and a kobold walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
The kobold says, "That's okay. We already ate."
Walks by and peeks in the window.
Sheesh, what a dive. Well, the dragon should clean that lot out pretty thoroughly.
Walks on.
GROOOOOOOOOOOOONK!!!!!
eats bathroom.