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Cosmo's custom avatar image Kewpie-Doll2.jpg

Cosmo's page

Disturbing Customer Servant. 5,361 posts (5,427 including aliases). No reviews. Aliases: Messageboard Bug!!! (Digital Pest), Lens Samaniuk... (Masked), The Computer (Technological Overlord).

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Full Name

Cosmo Eisele

Race

Construct

Classes/Levels

Customer Service Representative 8/Collective Hive Mind 10

Size

Tiny

Age

tree-anna-haf

Special Abilities

Thick Hide, Verbose, Sesquipedalian Coprolalia; Ooze traits.

Alignment

N

Location

The nexus of the Paizo Customer Service Hive Mind

Languages

English, Bad English

Occupation

Meeting the various whims and desires of Paizo.com customers.

Homepage URL

http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/paizo/customerService

Strength 8
Dexterity 6
Constitution 3
Intelligence 4
Wisdom 9
Charisma 17

About Cosmo

In early 1976, my father and his brother both had pregnant wives. At a bar, proper order for a couple of Irish brothers who are fathers-to-be, they discussed their plans for their future sons. They decided that their sons would be starting forwards for the Boston Celtics.

Which is odd, since neither of them are basketball players. Nor even fans as far as I can tell.

Given that their sons (sons of two short, stocky Irishmen) would undoubtedly inherit their own body type, they assumed that these sons would need flashy names to overcome their physical limitations. Names that would sound good on television.

And so I was to be known as "Cosmo Calhoun" and my cousin was to be dubbed "Elvis Peacock".

I am not kidding.

Luckily for one of us (I leave it up to you to decide who), my cousin Steve avoided this fate while my name stuck. At least the "Cosmo" part. Thankfully, "Calhoun" got vetoed.

So, yes... Cosmo is, indeed, my real name.

Also... it turns out that some guy named Jonathon Coulton is a big fan of me.



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