The room itself is red clearance, the table and chairs the floor, all red. The only thing that wasn't red about the room (aside from the Green guards and the UV Citizen, are the access doors.
The UV Speaks
"I am James-U-SSR. Why were you so late getting to this briefing? You were given half an hour to get here! As you were in the corridor from the first missive, I assume you didn't heed the update messages you were sent, rerouting you because of the different access restrictions."
"Now, the mission...this sector has lost communication with the other sectors of Alpha Complex, you will find out WHY. Also, you have a missing team member, we have learned that he is being held by Commies! You will free him before you travel to the Comm Hub, Now since you're going up against a fairly large cell of commies, you will need to be outfitted properly, therefore the computer has authorized you each 1000 credits of gear from CBay, which you will acquire through the Capitalist auctions site. Then you will pick the gear up from PLC and proceed to slaughter the commies!"
"Now, the Team leader has already been chosen, I will now assign your Mandatory bonus duties..."
"You" [pointing to Tataz], "Since you're so aware of hygiene, you're now the Hygiene officer!"
"Giggles! You will be the Happiness Officer!
"Let's See now...Who to assign a loyalty, comm and equipment officers..."
"Well well, glad to see you're all such good comrades in arms..."
"I'm sorry, did you say "unclad and unarm"?? Well...I suppose I ::cackle:: can't disobey an order from a superior officer."
Chuckles begins to unzip his red jumpsuit.
"Hey, no worries. Happy to do it...you won't get any arguments from me. Nosir!"
"Good to see you've already gotten acquainted, NOW GET IN THERE AND SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!!"
"Oh. Did you want us unclad and unarm and then sit down and shut up? ::titter:: I just want to make sure I get my orders straight. You know, make the computer happy, all that good jolliness and jolly goodness!" ::cheesy grin::
James-U-SSR laughs and says..."Excellent! your first Hygiene Inspection vict...err...volunteer Hygiene Officer! I have your Hygiene kit in the crate outside. Boris grab the crate please..."
Boris steps outside, then brings in a crate...he opens it and hands the Hygiene Inspection kit to Tataz.
When James-U-SSR says the word 'Loyalty' Whatt's hands fly up and clamp over his mouth to stifle a shriek of delight. He bounces in his seat like he needs to attend to some personal hygene of his own.
James eyes narrow...
"Ah our second volunteer for Hygiene inspection..."
"A clean team is a happy team, a happy team is a loyal team."
In an awed whisper Whatt lets slip "Loyalty is sooooo awesome!", then clamps his hands back over his mouth.
"You" [pointing to Tataz], "Since you're so aware of hygiene, you're now the Hygiene officer!"
(jumping up in excitement repetedly nearly giving herself black eyes from the bouncing.....)
"Oh goodie goodie! ME? Hygiene Officer? Only in my wildest dreams and aspirations alone did I ever consider ever have such a wonderful and important role as the Hygiene Officer. Is HO the right acronym for that? I am like so thrilled to be your team's HO!"
(continues to bounce excitedly)
James-U-SSR laughs and says..."Excellent! your first Hygiene Inspection vict...err...volunteer Hygiene Officer! I have your Hygiene kit in the crate outside. Boris grab the crate please..."
Boris steps outside, then brings in a crate...he opens it and hands the Hygiene Inspection kit to Tataz.
"That's like so totally great! That was almost like Dr. X-Ray reading someone's mind, cuz, there's no one that needs a hygiene inspection more than Chuckles!"
(looks in the bag....puzzled over what she sees....pulls out something sharp.....)
"I wonder what I do with THIS?"
FOR GM:
whats in the bag? Do I know anything about any of it...?
...Um....Chuckles.....I'm afraid this is like going to hurt you alot more than it's going to hurt me.....but at least we'll be doing this for the greater good of Alpha Complex! Imagine the damage poor hygiene could lead to.....unkempt hair could fall in front of your face, blocking your view of a target....your smell could give us away as we sneak up on those Commies.....clothing and buttons undone and looking disheveled could lead to wardrobe malfunctions....imagine me having a wardrobe malfunction....that's a lot of effort to stuff all this back in and could cause all sorts of problems moving around.....and besides what group of traitors would ever consider surrendering to a horribly filthy rag-tag looking bunch of misfits! No, sir, if we're going to be successful, we need to look and smell our tip top best shape. This is for Alpha Complex and for The Computer!
FOR GM
Can I use any 'DNA' gathered from this little inspection to have Psion detect for mutant powers....?
Tataz:
The kit contains swabs of all sorts, and tongue depressors, and a sort of armband device, that says "Core Skin Sampler that has numeric settings for depth"
EDIT: oh, and some red latex gloves...
Sam smiles widely.
It's wonderful that our team has such an enthusiastic and attentive HO! Thank you Tataz. Complete your inspections and then we must proceed directly to PLC. I for one can't wait to get my blaster so that I can start blasting some damn commies!
"Excellent Team Leader SAM, Now, I'm going to let you suggest who to assign as Equipment Guy, Loyalty Officer and Recording Officer."
Sam Only:
"A hygiene inspection? Goodness, that is just...the best idea I've heard all day! You Ultraviolets, always on the ball, aren't you? hahaha yes! I can't describe how happy this makes me. Did I say happy? I mean ecstatic! But then again, what more could you expect from...the happiness 'officer'"
Chuckles obnoxiously employs the use of finger quotations when saying 'officer'.
Enthusiastically, he then lets his jumpsuit drop to his ankles. He stands spread eagle with a sort of vacant smile plastered on his face for a moment.
"Now, Tataz I don't want you to miss any nooks...or...heh...crannies. And remember to ::cackle:: have fun doing your job!!
He slips back into his mindless stupor and gives a wide eyed stare at James-U-SSR. His grin almost becomes a grimace and his eye inappropriately twitches as he awaits his hygienic prodding.
Making a very loud and pronounced SNAP sound as I finish putting my latex gloves in place.....then smile at Chuckles. I pull forth the little gadget marked "Skin Core Sampler" and beckon Chuckles to issue his arm.
Hmmm....it has a numbered "Depth Setter"......I'll just pick a random number....my favorite number: 44 It's somehow important to me and has gotten me lots of attention.
Slipping it over Chuckles arms - being sure not to let his filthy body contaminate mine........I press a button or whatever to make it take this sample.
GM:
you didn't respond about the skin sample being useful for Psion research
GM:
Whatt:
I just wanted to say - I like your character alot - you're fun to have in this game (already). I'm getting a kick out of your posts!!
Tataz:
Making a very loud and pronounced SNAP sound as I finish putting my latex gloves in place.....then smile at Chuckles. I pull forth the little gadget marked "Skin Core Sampler" and beckon Chuckles to issue his arm.
Hmmm....it has a numbered "Depth Setter"......I'll just pick a random number....my favorite number: 44 It's somehow important to me and has gotten me lots of attention.
Slipping it over Chuckles arms - being sure not to let his filthy body contaminate mine........I press a button or whatever to make it take this sample.
Chuckles reacts to the pain with (what else?) a bout of obnoxious laughter.
"Gah-ahahaha! My, you certainly are thorough, aren't you?"
Liam practically leaps back in shock as Chuckles begins to strip down. Leaning away, he suddenly takes a comb from out of his pocket and begins to comb his hair.
Liam practically leaps back in shock as Chuckles begins to strip down. Leaning away, he suddenly takes a comb from out of his pocket and begins to comb his hair.
"Hey, don't worry, Liam. I've got nothing to hide! Heh heh heh."
The Skin Core sampler begins to vibrate, shake and rattle, it begins to sound like a laser about to overlaod, then...Ding, "Hygienic conditions within meritorious parameters."
Teeth, hair, ears, nose, even his sphincter is spotless...freshly bleached. You hope your own hygiene exams goes so well...
You examine Chuckles' uniform after he puts it back on, and other than one of your OWN hairs which you quickly hide, it is in perfect condition. His gig line is even straight after running around and shoving you into the briefing room.
While Sam is waiting for the hygiene inspections to be finished he goes on his PDC and starts browsing C-Bay, checking for any cool new commie killing weapons.
GM
C-Bay check 1d20=2
SAM
GM
SAM:
GM
You hear a knock on the door...
"Domin-Os" Lightspeed Delivery." the Hygienically facially challenged citizen says. "I have a CBay delivery for a Sam-R-SPD, we were watching you browse, and had the delivery prepped and on the way before you slid your ME Card!"
SAM rushes over.
"Thanks for the package citizen?"
He turns to his companions. Let's get going. We've got commies to kill!
He turns to his companions. Let's get going. We've got commies to kill!
Teeth, hair, ears, nose, even his sphincter is spotless...freshly bleached.
Chuckles finishes straightening his jumpsuit up, shoots a sort of glare towards Tataz, and asks in a friendly tone,
"Clean enough for the computer, my dear? A clean anus is a HAPPY anus, you know!" ::snicker::
Chuckles now turns towards Sam in an anxious, jumpy salute.
"Well then, what's the hold up? I'll be more than happy to dispose of some Commies with such a ::chuckle:: honorable and strong leader at my side. Happy happy happy! This oughta be fun. Who's up for some fun?!"
"Not so fast Team Leader, you still have to assign the additional MBDs. I want to see how good a leader you really are!"
Whatt chews his fingernails in nervous excitement as he waits for the MDBs to be announced.
GM Only
Whatt chews his fingernails in nervous excitement as he waits for the MDBs to be announced.
GM Only
** spoiler omitted **
Whatt-R-BTL
[spoiler]Oh that's ultra devious...go for it[/spoile]r
GM Only
GM Only
** spoiler omitted **
[ooc] I'm not sure how many players we still have for this. ie. is Hammer still around? [/occ]
Sure thing sir. So, Tataz is our HO. Whatt is our Loyalty officer. Chuckless is Happiness Officer. In that case Liam shall be our Communications and Recording Officer and Hammer shall be our Equipment Guy. I guess we'll be needing a multicorder for Liam. However, since Hammer doesn't seem to be a very enthusiastic citizen, I will gladly do double duty and take on the Equipment Guy role if he cannot perform his duties. However if that is the case I suggest he receive a thorough brain scrub and have his clone reduced back to infrared status.
Sure thing sir. So, Tataz is our HO. Whatt is our Loyalty officer. Chuckless is Happiness Officer. In that case Liam shall be our Communications and Recording Officer and Hammer shall be our Equipment Guy. I guess we'll be needing a multicorder for Liam. However, since Hammer doesn't seem to be a very enthusiastic citizen, I will gladly do double duty and take on the Equipment Guy role if he cannot perform his duties. However if that is the case I suggest he receive a thorough brain scrub and have his clone reduced back to infrared status.
"I'm the Recording Officer? Yes..." Liam begins a low chuckle.
"Good choices Team Leader."
"Recording officer, grab your Comm equipment from the crate. You will be responsible for the visual record of the mission."
"Happiness Officer, take your Medicinal Happiness Dispenser from the crate." Imagine a first aid kit full of pills
"Loyalty Officer, you're in charge of maintaining the loyalty of the team, and reporting any traitors with sufficient proof."
"Equipment Guy, take your tool kit from the crate. Your responsibility will be to ensure the teams gear is well maintained."
"Hygiene Officer, a clean team is a loyal team, you already have your kit and assignment."
Okay team mates. Place your equipment orders on C-Bay so we can get moving. I've already received one of my orders. Let's not waste time. We have a fellow team member to rescue from some unsanitary commies!
He then speaks into his PDC
Computer this is Team Leader Sam-R-SPD-1 humbly requesting that you forward me any information you have on our missing comrade, er ah did I just say comrade? Sorry I meant companion. I don't even know what a comrade is. Wasn't that some sort of primitive old reckoning computer? Wait, I know nothing of old reckoning technology or anything else for that matter. Maybe I'll just be quiet now...
GM
SAM:
Whatt almost faints when he is named Loyalty Officer. In a swoon he lurches to his feet and hollers "This is the day that The Computer has made!! And we rejoice in His Servers!" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of pamphlets with a sketch of The Computer on The Cross with the legend "The Computer Diods for our sins!" and "Good News" scribble on them. Vibrating, he looks over at James "I'll gladly pay any littering fine."
When he finds out the 1000cr have been transmitted to him for gear, he unquestioningly pulls out his PDL and starts CBAY-ing for equipment.
GM ONLY
Since Whatt has perfect trust in The Computer he will forge right on ahead with getting STUFF! I mean, getting STUFF! props up capitalism and defacto fights the Commies on the economic battleground... I will let you roll any neccessary rolls for me (I don't have access to IC at work). Here is the laundry list (in the order of attempted purchase):
To cut a dashing figure/maintain hygeine regs
I <3 Funbots T-Shirt 20cr
Red Sneakers with Black Stripes 220cr
Teela-O Pocket Mirror 5cr
Comb, red 5cr
Cleanse-O-Spray 50cr
Lemonine-Moistened Towelettes, 20 count 50cr
Hottorch (he has no idea what this is, but it's rated for Reds, so it must be okay!) 100cr
To help with the mission and/or interogation of Commie prisoners
Plasticord, 100m 100cr
Cancer-Lite Cigarettes 6cr
(2) Metal Pens (one black ink, one red) 20cr
(2) Black Ink refills 2cr
(2) Red Ink refills 2cr
Better living through The Computer's pharacology
Wakey-Wakey, 10 tabs 10cr
Sleepy-Sleepy, 10 tabs 10cr
Wide Awake, 5 tabs 5cr
Inner Happiness, 10 tabs 20c
That should clock in around 625cr. Too bad my CBAY skilz suck...
SAM
Whatt:
GM ONLY
I don't have access to IC right now. I will do it later tonight if you don't want to roll for me. I am fine either way.
"I'm the Recording Officer? Yes..." Liam begins a low chuckle.
Chuckles responds with an amused guffaw
"It's so fulfilling to see my fellow troubleshooter in such high spirits!"
Chuckles give Liam an overzealous congratulatory slap on the back. "Keep it up, pal."
Sorry guys, I thought I had put the regular weapon costs in the list with the IR Market stuff...I'll update that tonight...laser barrels, swords, knives, grenades, etc are available based upon mission requirements. (AKA you have to put your mission info in the bid...so might want to be careful on what you attempt to bid on...)
Sam pulls a shiny red laser barrel out of his satchel and screws it onto the frame of his pistol.
He then looks at Liam.
Liam Record my mission introduction speech
Assuming Liam starts filming, Sam begins his narration
Fellow Citizen's I am Sam-R-SPD-1, and me and my fabulous team of troubleshooters are about to go out and make Alpha Complex a safer place and more perfect place for us all. Rest assured that my competent team will promptly locate the nest of commie vipers that lurks in our midst and see that they are terminated.
He then aims his pistol at the camera and Liam. In a deep voice he says:
Go ahead Commie, make my day!
He then motions for Liam to cut the camera and he lowers his weapon.