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Alright, so as much as I love the idea of Tamir's dinner conversation during Pathfinder 21 - The Jackal's Price, I'll admit that remembering and thinking up jokes on the spot is not my strong suit, especially ones that fit for a desert-themed setting, with crass or lewd punchlines.
So what desert, genie, or other setting appropriate jokes can we put together as a resource?
I'll start with one (and not a crass one, but better than none):
A man on a camel rode through miles of the sun-drenched desert searching for some sign of life. His supplies were running low when his camel died.
Now on foot, he desperately sought refuge from the heat, and, most importantly, a source for water.
Suddenly, he came across a vendor in the middle of the desert.
"Thank the gods I found you!" the man cried. "Please help me. I'm in dire need of some water."
"Well," said the vendor, "I don't have any water. But would you like to buy one of these fine dinner robes?"
"What am I going to do with a dinner robe?" the man asked.
"That's what I'm selling sir. If you don't like it, I can't help you."
The man left the vendor and walked on for many more miles, praying each minute that he would find refuge from the scorching sun.
His eyes squinted a bunch of times when he came across a restaurant in the distance. Unable to comprehend a restaurant located in the middle of the desert, he assumed the place was a mirage, but decided to check it out anyway.
As he approached the door, his mouth opened in amazement, seeing that the place actually existed.
The doorman stopped him before he entered.
"Excuse me sir," the doorman said, "But you can't come in here without a dress robe!"
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Two Andorans, Kelon and Derichio, are driving their camel across the desert.
At the last two oases, the camel has refused to drink, and is now quite dry.
They fear he will die of dehydration. They reach one more oasis, and after
Kelon and Derichio have slaked their thirst, they start to work on getting
the camel to drink. No amount of urging, cursing, or beating the camel with
sticks will get him to drink the water.
Finally, in desperation, Derichio tells Kelon: "We will force him to drink.
I will grab his ears and push his head down into the water. Meanwhile, you
go around the back and suck.' Kelon agrees, and they begin the plan. After
several minutes have passed, Derichio asks Kelon: "How are things coming back
there?" Kelon replies: "I think you have his head too low, all I am getting
is mud!"
(True story.)
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A Taldan man named Balthazar and his trophy wife take a vacation, and go to an expensive archery range in one of the richest parts of town. Balthazar says to his wife, "Be careful of the expensive houses around us. I don't know if we can afford to break a window." His wife fires an arrow, and sure enough she breaks the biggest window of the most expensive looking house.
Balthazar says, "Oh no! We had better go ask how much it's gonna be." So he and his wife go up to the house, and see that the door is open. They go inside and see the arrow and a broken glass bottle. A man walks up and says, "Thank you!"
So Balthazar says, "I'm sorry about the—" and the man interrupts, saying, "Oh don't worry. I have to thank you for getting me out of the bottle. You see, I'm a genie. So you get one wish, she gets one, but you have to give me one."
Balthazar asks for 100 million platinum bars. The man says, "Done." The wife asks for 80 exotic ballroom gowns. The genie says, "Done. Now, my wish is to have sex with your wife because you know I've been locked up for so long."
They agree, since they got all of that other stuff, and so the man screws Balthazar's wife. When they're done, the man asks the wife, "How old is you husband?"
She answers, "Over a hundred. He's an elf." The man asks in return, "And he still believes in genies?"
RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16
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A man is walking through the dunes and stumbles across an old lamp. He picks it and a genie appears.
"Greetings, master! I am afraid I am not a powerful genie, so I can only grant you one wish. But I shall fulfill it, to the best of my ability."
The man pulls out a map of Golarion and says, "I would like to do some good for the world with my wish. Do you see this spot on the map? It's a place called the Worldwound; lots of demons and so forth are coming out to wreak havoc on the world. I wish that you would close the wound so that the world would be at peace."
The genie turns to him and says, "I am sorry, master, but remember how I said I was not a powerful genie? I'm afraid such a wish is beyond my ability to grant."
The man puts away the map, saying, "Oh, well, I tried. I guess I'll wish for something simple, then. I wish to understand women."
"Let me see that map again?"
~laughter in RT~
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A Taldan man named Balthazar and his trophy wife take a vacation, and go to an expensive archery range in one of the richest parts of town...
That story is taken out of context and contains many glaring omissions!
Another story:
An Osirian walks into a tavern with a small animal in a cage and orders a tankard of ale. The bartender serves him and then notes with astonishment that the creature is a miniature version of the tarrasque, only a foot high!
The patrons of the bar gather round and ooh and ahh over the unusual creature, which roars and rages but can't escape its cage. Once everyone has a look, the barman asks: "Where did you get this unusual creature?"
"Well," said the Osirian, "I was travelling from Shiman-sekh to Sothis when a sandstorm blew up and I became lost in the desert. I wandered for days, but I finally came to an oasis. Much to my surprise, I found an old bottle lying between the palms. I opened it, and out popped a fearsome efreeti! I was terrified, but he thanked me for releasing him and offered me one wish."
"And this is what you wished for?" asked the bartender.
The Osirian sighed. "This isn't what I had in mind when I asked for a 12-inch monster."
A taldan with a tiny head walks into a tea stall in Katapesh. The tea merchant asks him why he has such a tiny head. He tells this story:
"I was walking to Solku, when I saw a lamp in a dead man's hand. I grabbed the lamp and rubbed it, and a gorgeous genie came out. I saw her, and all thoughts of wealth left my head. She offered me a wish, and I said, 'My only wish is to have sex with you, here on the road.' The genie said, 'I will not grant such a wish', then I was stupid, I said 'Just give me a little head.'"
A guy walks along the beach and finds an old lamp. It's a bit grubby, so re rubs it to clean it.
And out comes a genie. "You have finally found me, I've lain around in the sand for over a thousand years! I will grant you every wish you have - but be advised that because of a curse, I'll have to give your mother-in-law whatever you get, only she gets double."
The man thinks for moment and replies: "In that case, make me a fantastic castle with a hundred servants seeing to my every desire, give me more money than the richest man alive, and then beat me half to death."
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A slave lord travels across the desert to reach Katapesh, and calls it a night in a great oasis. One of the lords dearly purchased whores wonders a bit into the surrounding sands, and suddenly notices a big camel, sitting on rock and crying, holding a map of the land with a pair of his legs. The whore approaches the camel and sais, "Oh poor thing, are you lost? The oasis is right over there!"
The camel looks up at her and then cries with alarm, "Oh my gods- a talking woman!"
You know why camels can store so much water? It isn't because of evolution. It wasn't the gods who created them so.
It was man. All it took was two bricks.
See, what they did when they trained the camels for treks across the deserts, is to make them drink water until they had enough. They'd position themselves behind the camel with the two bricks, and when it was just about to stop drinking
*bang* *sharp intake of breath, overloading the water reservoirs*
And there was the guy who wished that his manhood would go all the way to the floor. His wish was granted - he has one-inch-legs now.
And one genie made the mistake to grant two wishes to a redcap.
His first wish: "Put a nail into that rock. Put it in so hard that no one will ever be able to pull it out again, no matter how strong or magical he was."
*done*
His second wish: "Pull out the nail."
The other wish jokes I have would probably break board guidelines.