The saddest thing has happend ,my wife's friend 2 year old son fell down some stair and has died and it's is mother birthday.
I'm not sure what i should do and i dont know what i'm going to say to them when i go to the funeral.This suck so much.The only thing that i can do at the moment is to send them my best wish's,it does not seem nearly enough to hepl them.
Hug your children and tell them that you love them every day,
because you never know when fate will take them away.
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The best thing you can do for them is to just let them know you're there if they need you. I know it hurts to feel so helpless and you want to do more, but, believe me, they'll appreciate even the little things. Be as strong as you can for them and it will be enough.
I'm sorry for your friend's loss. Peace be with you both.
I also am sorry to hear that. I agree with the rest. Just being there for them is a lot.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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When they want to talk about something else, talk about something else.
Don't talk too much, they won't be listening.
Listen when they talk. Listen even if they've said it 100 times. Listen even when they seem to be talking about something trivial and unrelated.
Don't tell them that you "can't imagine their pain". They know you can't.
Don't tell them that you "can imagine their pain". They know you can't.
Don't tell them you "understand how they feel". You don't.
Don't ask them how they are feeling. That's a dumb question.
Don't look shocked when they tell a joke or laugh. The pain is always there but sometimes it isn't the only thing there.
Don't look uncomfortable when they cry out of the blue.
Do ask them if they need help with simple things. Give them a lift. Pick up some groceries if they need you to.
EDIT: Also, keep an eye out for self-destructive behaviour, such as drinking heavily, driving too fast, or walking into dangerous parts of town at night. When you see it, don't confront them on it. Distract them with an invitation to do something else.
Tragedy. How completely horrifying.
Who knows what to say at times like this?
When my mother, and only parent in my life, died fairly young some people went through the motions conversationally, and their words meant nothing to me. Others said little or nothing but gave hugs that conveyed such intense sadness... such gravity. I'll never forget their warmth and power. Not ever.
One thing that seriously weirded me was that I called around to cancel engagements with my terrible news and almost everyone I spoke to said sorry for about five minutes then launched into anecdotes about their own dead relatives (as I'm doing now. Hmmm...). One guy went on for an hour about how his mother dying was his biggest fear. One. Full. Hour.
My friend Pat said, "I'm so sorry." It was heartfelt and whispery and it was the most appreciated call I received.
Speak from the heart and you can't go wrong.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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Above my desk is a painting someone dropped off at my house shortly after my brother died. It wasn't an expensive painting but he knew I liked it. He'd heard me describe it as "a hopeful piece". I barely knew him. He was an ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. On the back of the painting, he'd written 'In lieu of flowers'. It was unnecessary, unexpected, and wholly appreciated.
Wow, man.
I'm gonna go home early and play with my girl.