| ruemere |
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FORMAL NITPICKS ONLY
This is a fully developed version of "Formal Nitpicks Only". However, the article is still restricted to formal side of the feats. The feat analysis to be discussed later.
DISCLAIMER: I do not reserve the right to be right.
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INTRODUCTION
1. Thanks for creating new feats.
2. Please fix FEAT LISTING ORDER please. All indices in the world list terms like
<adjective> <noun>
in the following way:
<noun>, <adjective>
So the "Bestial Visage" becomes "Visage, Bestial". That way browsing becomes easier and similar items can be grouped together.
Spell section is organized properly, but feats are still poorly listed - various Improved and Greater instances of a feat should be put together.
See: LISTING FEATS below
3. Be warned: there are four instances of personal anguish getting better of me below. They are fully justified by violation of common sense (and in two cases, rules).
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ABC (AND ABS) OF FEAT DESIGN
Note: Rule 5 and rule 6 are extremely important for game balance. Breaking one of them should be considered valid reason for feat removal.
1. Feat is a special ability of binary type. If you have it, you can use it.
2. Feat name must be informative, so that at a glance at your character sheet, you should be able to recall its function. Consequently, feat text should be brief and unambiguous.
3. Feat availability should be determined by character accomplishments (features which scale with level, like BAB, skills, saves, abilities), not by virtue of other feats or levels in particular class.
Requiring other feats leads to feat chains, which encourage approach of "take this crappy feat or ability to be able to gain a better one later". Feats are a resource of extremely limited type, and no character should be forced to "burn" it for negligible effects. This is especially important for Fighter class which relies on having 5 more feats than other classes (in 11-20 level range, where term "Fighter power" becomes something of an oxymoron).
Requiring levels in particular class changes feat to class feature. The feats were intended to provide options for array of classes based on character accomplishments. Also, class features should be at least listed in particular class entry. And so creating class-only feats is wrong.
4. Virtual feats (bonus feats which work only in particular circumstances: for example, Ranger combat style feats require light or no armor) are unnecessary complication. Let them be simply feats. Otherwise, if one gains a feat by fulfilling prerequisite with virtual feat, the problems begin when virtual feat becomes inactive (i.e. Ranger dons armor) thus invalidating regular feat (as per rules, whenever you failt to meet prerequisites of acquired feat, you lose feat benefit).
5. Feats must never duplicate skill abilities. They work differently (binary effect vs gradation of success). Feat with functionality overlaping with skill may upset game balance.
6. It's generally better to create a feat which scales with level than two feats with one improving another. Exception: if the feat provides bonus to ability which already scales with level (BAB, skill, saves), it should definitely NOT scale with level.
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FORMAL NITPICKS
Acrobatic Steps
Advance (Combat)
- Redundant with Acrobatics skill (violates rule #5)
- overlaps partially with Spring Attack
Recommending REMOVAL of the feat as it renders skill partially meaningless.
Bleeding Critical (Combat, Critical)
"Benefit: Whenever you score a critical hit with a slashing or piercing weapon, your opponent takes 2d6 points of bleed damage each round on their turn, in addition to the damage dealt by the critical hit. Bleed damage can be stopped by a DC 15 Heal skill check or through any magical healing. The effects of this feat stack. "
- specify whether damage occurs at the beginning or at the end of affected target's turn (important for target's with borderline hitpoints)
- Bleeding Critical should not stack - it's very easy to abuse this by scoring multiple negligible hits
- does use of Heal stop all instances of Bleeding Critical or just one?
Blinding Critical (Combat, Critical)
Critical Focus (Combat)
Critical Mastery (Combat)
"Prerequisites: Critical Focus, any two critical feats, 14th-level fighter. "
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
- use of high BAB or multiple feat prerequisites are sufficient to restrict feat usage to fighter class (BAB 15+, Improved Critical, Critical Focus)
Deafening Critical (Combat, Critical)
Disruptive (Combat)
"Prerequisites: 6th-level fighter. "
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
"Benefit: The DC to cast spells defensively increases by 4 for all enemies within your threatened area. This increase only applies if you are aware of the enemy's location and are capable of taking an attack of opportunity. If you can only take one attack of opportunity per round and have already used that attack, this increase does not apply."
- this is breaking of 4th wall - Spellcaster is not aware of increased static DC
- this increase is largely negligent - Concentration is a skill increased to the maximum
Recommending changing benefit of feat to allow to AoO as normal albeit at improved AC
Exhausting Critical (Combat, Critical)
Fleet
"Benefit: Your base speed increases by 5 feet. You lose the benefits of this feat if you carry a medium or heavy load. "
- specify type of bonus
- this is very dangerous feat since it not only stacks with enhancement bonuses (boots) but also with class features (Barbarian) and itself
Greater Bull Rush (Combat)
Greater Disarm (Combat)
Greater Feint (Combat)
Greater Grapple (Combat)
Greater Overrun (Combat)
Greater Penetrating Strike (Combat)
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
Greater Shield Focus (Combat)
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
"Benefit: Increase the AC bonus granted by any shield you are using by 1. This bonus stacks with the bonus granted by Shield Focus."
- bonus type should be "shield" or "shield enhancement bonus"
Danger: anyone reading this feat may break down and cry over lack of usefulness of this feat.
Recommending removal of the feat or replacing it and its prerequisite with level-scaling single feat.
Greater Shield Mastery (Combat)
"You can use a shield to deflect a great deal of harm. "
"Prerequisites: Shield Focus, Shield Mastery, Shield Proficiency, 12th-level fighter. "
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
"Benefit: Whenever you are using a shield, you gain DR 2/-. You must be aware of the attack to gain this bonus. Any effect that causes you to lose your Dexterity or shield bonus causes you to lose this bonus. This bonus stacks with all other forms of damage reduction without a type, including that gained from Shield Mastery."
- words "great" and "dr 2/-" do not go well together.
- DAMAGE REDUCTION EFFECTS FROM VARIOUS SOURCES DO NOT STACK. THIS IS A CANONICAL RULE and should not be broken for a negligible benefit. This is a major change to balance of core ruleset.
Recommending replacing both versions of the feat with a single feat, which would offer non-stacking damage reduction of level scaling variety (for example, DR level/5 / -).
Greater Sunder (Combat)
Greater Trip (Combat)
Improved Greater Fortitude
Improved Iron Will
Improved Lightning Reflexes
Lunge (Combat)
Master Craftsman
Nimble Moves
Penetrating Strike (Combat)
"Prerequisites: Weapon Focus, 12th-level fighter. "
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
Powerful Critical (Combat, Critical)
Shall Not Pass (Combat)
- feat name should be informative, like Intercept or Intercept Opponent
"Benefit: Whenever an enemy provokes an attack of opportunity due to moving through your adjacent squares, a successful hit causes them to stop moving for the rest of their turn. Enemies can still take the rest of their action, but cannot move."
- what if the enemy can use multiple Move actions per turn?
Recommending changing feat name to informative.
Recommending change of wording to "... successful hit interrupts opponent's move action causing them to halt and lose current move action. Oppo
Suggesting change of wording to "successful hit causes them to halt and lose current Move action. Opponent may use leftover move actions."
Shield Focus (Combat)
- see notes on Shield Focus, Greater above
Shield Mastery (Combat)
"Prerequisites: Shield Focus, Shield Proficiency, 4th-level fighter. "
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
"Benefit: Whenever you are using a shield, you gain DR 2/-. You must be aware of the attack to gain this bonus. Any effect that causes you to lose your Dexterity or shield bonus causes you to lose this bonus. This bonus stacks with all other forms of damage reduction without a type (such as the damage reduction gained by barbarians)."
- DAMAGE REDUCTION EFFECTS FROM VARIOUS SOURCES DO NOT STACK. THIS IS A CANONICAL RULE and should not be broken for a negligible benefit. This is a major change to balance of core ruleset.
Sickening Critical (Combat, Critical)
Spellbreaker (Combat)
"Prerequisites: Disruptive, 10th-level fighter. "
- please do not use class names in feat descriptions - this essentially turns a feat into a class feature and class features should be included in class entries (breaks rule #3)
Staggering Critical (Combat, Critical)
Step Up (Combat)
Strike Back (Combat)
Stunning Critical (Combat, Critical)
Tiring Critical (Combat, Critical)
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LISTING FEATS
As mentioned above, the feats should be listed based on <noun> than <adjective> <noun> order.
Please compare two listings below and try to gauge amount of page turning required to compare similar or advanced versions of the same feat. The proposed order also also allows to group feats thematically.
1. Original listing.
Acrobatic Steps
Advance (Combat)
Bleeding Critical (Combat, Critical)
Blinding Critical (Combat, Critical)
Critical Focus (Combat)
Critical Mastery (Combat)
Deafening Critical (Combat, Critical)
Disruptive (Combat)
Exhausting Critical (Combat, Critical)
Fleet
Greater Bull Rush (Combat)
Greater Disarm (Combat)
Greater Feint (Combat)
Greater Grapple (Combat)
Greater Overrun (Combat)
Greater Penetrating Strike (Combat)
Greater Shield Focus (Combat)
Greater Shield Mastery (Combat)
Greater Sunder (Combat)
Greater Trip (Combat)
Improved Greater Fortitude
Improved Iron Will
Improved Lightning Reflexes
Lunge (Combat)
Master Craftsman
Nimble Moves
Penetrating Strike (Combat)
Powerful Critical (Combat, Critical)
Shall Not Pass (Combat)
Shield Focus (Combat)
Shield Mastery (Combat)
Sickening Critical (Combat, Critical)
Spellbreaker (Combat)
Staggering Critical (Combat, Critical)
Step Up (Combat)
Strike Back (Combat)
Stunning Critical (Combat, Critical)
Tiring Critical (Combat, Critical)
2. Proposal: Index listing.
Acrobatic Steps
Advance (Combat)
Bull Rush, Greater (Combat)
Critical Focus (Combat)
Critical Mastery (Combat)
Critical, Bleeding (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Blinding (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Deafening (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Exhausting (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Powerful (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Sickening (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Staggering (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Stunning (Combat, Critical)
Critical, Tiring (Combat, Critical)
Disarm, Greater (Combat)
Disruptive (Combat)
Feint, Greater (Combat)
Fleet
Grapple, Greater (Combat)
Greater Fortitude, Improved
Iron Will, Improved
Lightning Reflexes, Improved
Lunge (Combat)
Master Craftsman
Nimble Moves
Overrun, Greater (Combat)
Penetrating Strike (Combat)
Penetrating Strike, Greater (Combat)
Shall Not Pass (Combat)
Shield Focus (Combat)
Shield Focus, Greater (Combat)
Shield Mastery (Combat)
Shield Mastery, Greater (Combat)
Spellbreaker (Combat)
Step Up (Combat)
Strike Back (Combat)
Sunder, Greater (Combat)
Trip, Greater (Combat)
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That's it for now.
Regards,
Ruemere