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The Thieves Guild, Crimson Crime, has reached the conclusion that for its first stealth mission, it will attempt to take the Kobold Cleaver's Cleaver. All members will hopefully be posting a Sleight of Hand tonight. This will be opposed by the Cleaver's Spot check, which has a +20 due to Guild Insurance Policies.
The Thief Sleight of Hand: 14
Boo!
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The Thieves Guild, Crimson Crime, has reached the conclusion that for its first stealth mission, it will attempt to take the Kobold Cleaver's Cleaver. All members will hopefully be posting a Sleight of Hand tonight. This will be opposed by the Cleaver's Spot check, which has a +20 due to Guild Insurance Policies.
The Thief Sleight of Hand: 14
Naah, all you've got to do is wait until he walks by, then jump out and yell "boo". He'll pee himself, scream like a little girl, then drop the cleaver and run. Simple.
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Naah, all you've got to do is wait until he walks by, then jump out and yell "boo". He'll pee himself, scream like a little girl, then drop the cleaver and run. Simple.The Thieves Guild, Crimson Crime, has reached the conclusion that for its first stealth mission, it will attempt to take the Kobold Cleaver's Cleaver. All members will hopefully be posting a Sleight of Hand tonight. This will be opposed by the Cleaver's Spot check, which has a +20 due to Guild Insurance Policies.
The Thief Sleight of Hand: 14
Well that was the basics of the crime anyway...I am just worried about the growth of the Sm~rf population explosion so we may have to give it back.
AHHHH!!! I mean... ahem. yes. Where be your great Cleaver!
Courtfool stoles it, my precious, kills the Poodle!
*licking myself in the background*
*stops licking myself for a moment*
This is not the Court Fool you are looking for.
*begins licking myself again*
*rolls 34 on Sense Motive*
That IS the Court Fool we are looking for!
*stops licking myself*
No. I am not.*saunters off*
Wait, everyone! That really isn't the CourtFool we're looking for! This is just yet another poodle that's been running around lately. Let's just let this poor dog go.
*Pats the poodle on the back, and steals everything of worth from it's body*
Wait, everyone! That really isn't the CourtFool we're looking for! This is just yet another poodle that's been running around lately. Let's just let this poor dog go.
*Pats the poodle on the back, and steals everything of worth from it's body*
Congratulations, you now have fleas.
And the herpes.
That's what you get for ruffling around with my jumblies.
Congratulations, you now have fleas.Wait, everyone! That really isn't the CourtFool we're looking for! This is just yet another poodle that's been running around lately. Let's just let this poor dog go.
*Pats the poodle on the back, and steals everything of worth from it's body*
Yes, but do you realize how much fleas sell for these days? $10 a head easy. These little guys are going to pay for my retirement.
And the herpes.
That's what you get for ruffling around with my jumblies.
Hey, I said I took 'everything of value'. There isn't enough money in the multiverse to make me search down there.
EDIT: Forgot the mask for a minute there.
Hey guys, I got the Cleaver while you were all distracted by the Poodle. Lets go chop some Tacos with it.
*handles back Court Fool's puffy tail, stolen while he was licking himseld*
Yes, but do you realize how much fleas sell for these days? $10 a head easy. These little guys are going to pay for my retirement.Yes but you could start a circus with them too, that's much more profitable.
Well, obviously, but I don't want to pay the start-up costs. Do you realize how expensive tiny whips are these days?
Hey, I said I took 'everything of value'. There isn't enough money in the multiverse to make me search down there.
EDIT: Forgot the mask for a minute there.
*runs off screeching into the night*
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Well, obviously, but I don't want to pay the start-up costs. Do you realize how expensive tiny whips are these days?Yes, but do you realize how much fleas sell for these days? $10 a head easy. These little guys are going to pay for my retirement.Yes but you could start a circus with them too, that's much more profitable.
But think of the money you save on travel and food expenses!
*"Accidentally" drops cleaver, rakes in millions of insurance on it, and buys another for 5 cp*
*Inconspicuously pays poodle for distracting thieves while buying insurance*
Owner - Johnny Scott Comics and Games
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*"Accidentally" drops cleaver, rakes in millions of insurance on it, and buys another for 5 cp*
*Inconspicuously pays poodle for distracting thieves while buying insurance*
*pockets insurance premium from Kobold Cleaver*
*adds insurance premium to thieves' guild coffers*
*stops payment on claim check to Kobold Cleaver while claim is "investigated."*
Damn I knew we should have paid off the lawyers first.
*Inconspicuously pays poodle for distracting thieves while buying insurance*
*Paid poodle distraction*
Yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyipyapyapyapyupyapyapyapyap
*Licks and scratches frenetically*
*"Accidentally" drops cleaver, rakes in millions of insurance on it, and buys another for 5 cp*
*Inconspicuously pays poodle for distracting thieves while buying insurance*
*runs around crazily peeing everywhere*
*K.C. gets th' lockjaw tetanus from cleaver. No longer can speak. WOOT!*
Weren't you lstenuing? I got rid of the cleaver ages ago. Shame about the lawyer, though...
Fortunately, my insurance covers 'deranged lawyers'!
*K.C. gets th' lockjaw tetanus from cleaver. No longer can speak. WOOT!*Weren't you lstenuing? I got rid of the cleaver ages ago. Shame about the lawyer, though...
Fortunately, my insurance covers 'deranged lawyers'!
That reminds me: Your premium is overdue. You have 24 hours to make payment, or we will be forced to forcibly collect payment.
Is the 24 up yet? Poodles no count good.
Yarp yarp yarp!!!
That reminds me: Your premium is overdue. You have 24 hours to make payment, or we will be forced to forcibly collect payment.*K.C. gets th' lockjaw tetanus from cleaver. No longer can speak. WOOT!*Weren't you lstenuing? I got rid of the cleaver ages ago. Shame about the lawyer, though...
Fortunately, my insurance covers 'deranged lawyers'!
Nope, I'm ending my premium.
Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.
If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.
Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.
Have a nice day.
ha ha!
Get a cuter representative like that Erin chick and I may consider a policy.
Who?
Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.
If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.
Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.
Have a nice day.
Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!
Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.
If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.
Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.
Have a nice day.
Grrrr....
*Chomps off head**Converts to dog food in stomach*
*Feeds to poodles*
Bleep! Bleep! Made Up Clause Alert! Made Up Clause Alert! This is not a drill! Lemmings, to arms!Then you leave us no choice but to invoke the "Santa Clause". We will now take possession of all your worldly belongings, including your phylactery, and have the elves convert them to toys for all of the good little boys and girls of the world. As of Christmas, you will be left with nothing and cease to exist.
If you wish to continue coverage, please contact us before December 24.
Allhate Insurance wishes to thank you for your patronage.
Have a nice day.
This clause is not a made up clause. I direct you to the invisible ink section below the fine print on the hidden page of your insurance contract. In paragraph 6 of subsection FF, after deciphering the legal hieroglyphics and incantations, the Santa Clause is clearly spelled out in ancient elven. Thus, your possessions are forfeit upon cessation of your premium payments.
We will now commence with the collection of your assets.
*repossesses dire lemmings*